They cut me down to size...
I can open doors.
But I don't do windows.
That is my big accomplishment. Cass has found science supplies Beaker Burners and Glass Bunsons all the stuff needed for make your own test tubes. We're still doing the stubborn thing-- so how you ask-- do I know what she found? The distinct sound of glass tinkling and rolling across the floor and shattering can be distracting when there's no other noise.
We should be talking. Doing the boyfriend-girlfriend thing. But when we talk, first we fight, then talk, then do the kiss and make up thing. Oh yeah. There's no time for all that now, priorities y'know. So the screaming match won't be here and now. But there and later, all that plus the make up thing, oh yeah, bet your life.
She's got this ticklish spot right behind her--
Oh yeah. Priorities. Achem.
You see, there's this button. You flick it up and the door will open. You flick it down and the door will close. And there's this holo-map screen. You touch a door then flick the button. So I can open doors. I can even close them too. It's so exciting and enrapturing and captivating and every so happy happy joy joy . Yeah. Right. Kill me now.
I could wrangle all the baddies in one room and just lock them in all tight and snug and wait 'til someone figured out what to do with them. I can even get the map to change from floor by floor to floor, and trust me, there's a lot. Only like two underground, I am so not impressed. It takes at least five sub terrain floors or one giant lab to make an evil villain headquarters. It's in the V.I.L.E. manual.
The map changes again and check it. It's this room. Hey, there's no door there, so I mean, what the hell right, maybe it's a way out? Or a secret lab or something. Press. Flick. The hydraulic hiss is very, very audible. Cass and me both whirl. And the sound that emanates from the room is very, very, familiar. Or maybe it's the storage center for the evil robots.
Press. Flick. The door starts closing and we just start to breath easy when the door gets forced opened by blue armor. Cass flies up and tries to force it down, but she can't get leverage. She punches at the fingers holding the door and actually gets some to back off. I bang harder on the computer. C'mon baby, don't fail me now.
Before Cass can start dealing with everyone else, a hand snakes out from underneath and grabs her ankle. In a blink, she's off her feet, on her back, and sliding towards them. No more closing the door. Decapitated Wonder Girl's do not a full YJ roster make. No more fiddling with the computer. Press, flick, the door flies open.
Cass gets pulled forward but I'm already on the move. I'm almost ready to play tug of war to get Wondy back when Mr. You-Tore-Off-My-Arm starts shooting at me with his red laser thingy. It catches me on my shoulder and I unwillingly let go of Cass. He fires again, I swerve in mid air, circle around, and land on his back, and blow him apart. No more kid gloves. No more nice. You guys are all scrap metal.
I rush the ones coming in through the door and-- Whomp! I'm flung backwards. Isn't this a nice wall? Awfully soft cushion. Okay, take two, dramatic hero making a rescue. The first time was a trial run, you know. All right, pig pile in the warehouse.
Me and Cass get inside, and we are in deep shit. The room is huge and filled with blue tin men that are moving now. This does not look good. We regroup by the door. I've got her back, she's got mine. Kon and Cass versus the World! Going out in a blaze of glory as they wish the odds were equal.
She connects hard and fast with a robo on her left, he goes flying backwards into three of his buddies. They stagger but recover in no time. I do the same with the guys on the right. They regroup and they get the little blinking lights pointed back at us. They gotta shop at Lasers R Us. Just gotta. It can't be Sponges R Us or something soft like that. We duck and two robo's fry themselves.
Our eyes meet and we just know that, hell, we'll take all the help we can get. Cass grabs the nearest blue guy, gets a good grip and some leverage. I'm already doing the same. We swing around and bad guys collide in midair. They drop like stones. Four are down for the count.
Only about three thousand to go.
We so need a plan.