In the Name of Love

By Tales of Spike

Spoilers: Story started just prior to As You Were and runs through to the end of Hells Bells. From there on the story goes AU, so Normal Again, Entropy etc. haven't happened and won't.

Disclaimer: I own nothing. Joss and his friends own everything and everyone.

Feedback: I'd really like feedback, I get all insecure without it and start to think no one's reading this crap I produce, so bring it on at Sandy.Osborne@blueyonder.co.uk.

Chapter 17

Giles caught the stake just before it spun off the end of the desk. He looked down at the sharpened wood in his hand and turned once more on Spike.

"What the hell are you playing at? Are you trying to force me to stake you?"

"Yes. No. I'm trying to make you think about where that fucking look of disgust on your face is coming from. I'm tired of wondering what I have to do and how long I'm going to have to do it for before you wankers are going to decide I'm not something you'd scrape off the bottom of your shoe with a stick. I'm tired of doing everything I can to be good enough for you lot and it never being enough. I'm fed up of the thought that the only way you'll ever accept that it's not all some big con is by me dying. And even then if you manage to get out a good word between you and Xander, it'll only be because you're relieved I'm not around any more.

If that look's really about how you feel, then yeah, I would rather you tried to stake me. At least it would be fuckin' honest."

"Spike…" Giles laid the stake on the desk and removed his glasses, wiping them with a white cloth handkerchief he drew from his jacket pocket. "I'm sure you won't be surprised if I say that I'm not exactly happy about you and Buffy becoming involved. You are, however, both adults and it isn't my place to interfere. I do appreciate that you have changed quite considerably over the past two years or so, but the fact of the matter is that none of us know whether you'll be able to keep this up. If you'll pardon the metaphor, it's like dealing with a reformed alcoholic. It doesn't matter how long he's been on the wagon, everybody knows that it's only going to take one drink and he'll be off on a binge.

You've barely recovered from having the chip removed and on the third night you've been here you're already talking about killing someone. I understand that there are mitigating circumstances, but you must see, that from my perspective it has to cast grave doubts on your ability to live peacefully within society. Have you discussed your plans with Buffy?"

"No… no, it got kind of glossed over. I mean she knew that one of the reasons I wanted the chip out was to be able to defend myself if I was attacked by humans, and I sort of figured if she was okay with those Byzantium blokes getting' killed last year the principle was the same. I don't think the fact that I might have to kill someone to get the contract revoked ever came up…"

"Maybe you should speak to her."

"I think you might be right. I'd rather have those guys after me indefinitely than put her in the position where she feels she has to stake me."

"Good. And Spike, about you and Buffy, if you're right and you do manage to make her happy, then maybe I might feel able to cut you some slack. I'm sure you know what to expect if you hurt her. I'll leave you to make that phone call."

"Yeah, you and half the population of Sunnydale, but none of you would get the chance 'cos I'd sooner dust myself than hurt her."

Giles merely nodded before he left Spike alone in his hotel room.

Buffy and Dawn were sitting down to dinner together. Buffy had made an effort to cook one of Dawn's favourite dishes and she had bought a couple of pints of ice cream for what she hoped would be their chat afterwards.

"So, how much earlier do I need to get you up for school tomorrow to allow time for you walking?" Buffy asked in her lightest voice, not wanting to start things off on the wrong foot by appearing critical.

"About twenty-five minutes, maybe half an hour."

"So does that mean you picked up a detention today?"

"Nah, I was lucky, when I got down to the second corner Scott Cooper's dad gave me a lift and I just made it in time. Don't worry, no extra ammunition for the wicked witch of social services. What 'bout you. You get to work okay?

"Yeah, just. Xander was out the back door about a minute after you left by the front. I didn't really have much to add to what you said, just that he should go away and think about it and if he couldn't come to terms with it then stay away."

"Cool. I kinda thought you might cave and be all apolgise-y when I left."

"Apologetic. And no I'm not going to stand there and let a guy who has one not-demon, not-dead girl on his dating resume tell me I can't date Spike. Spike deserves better treatment than he's been getting especially from me, but from the others as well. I meant to have a word with everybody when I told them we were going to be dating, but then when it was just Willow and Tara it felt a bit silly, 'cos most of what I'd planned to say was mostly aimed at Xander. After this morning I wish I'd said it anyway.

Dawn, what you said this morning about not having a soul. Were you really just baiting Xander or is this something that's possible?"

"It's possible, I just don't know how I'm supposed to tell. I mean I'm not all Angelus, but then I'm not part demon and Spike's not even all evil any more and he is. It seems to me though if a soul's supposed to be that special then they couldn't just magic one up."

"Why wait till now to say anything?"

"Because I didn't know what you would say. You kept saying stuff about how you couldn't be with Spike and the only difference between him and Angel apart from the fact I like Spike is that Angel has a soul…"

"So when I said I would go out with Spike you figured I might be able to take the news…"

"Duh."

"Dawn, you know there's nothing you could ever tell me, there's nothing you could ever do that would stop me loving you. I might have been pig-headed about letting Spike in because I was scared-, because I am scared, but I have loved you all your life. Spike says love is all about blood, in fact he said everything is always about blood, and your blood is my blood. That's never going to change. You aren't ever going to be able to get rid of me. I'm just so sorry if I said anything about Spike that hurt you… I know that doesn't make it right… I can't…" Buffy choked up.

Dawn abandoned her meal and moved round the table to where Buffy was sitting. She put her arms around her sister and for once she was the one to comfort her. "Hey, I know you didn't mean to get at me. I know you love me." She rocked Buffy backwards and forwards in her arms.

Buffy looked up into the eyes of her sister. "Whatever you want to do about this, just say it and it's done. I can talk to Tara, see if she can tell whether you have a soul or not. We can do research, see if we can find anything on how the monks made you. If you want we can drop the whole subject and not say anyth-."

Buffy's voice was cut off by the sound of her sister's mobile ringing. "It's Spike!" Dawn shouted as she ran into the living room to get it.

"How do you know? You haven't answered it?"

"I programmed a ring tone just for him. Couldn't find any Sex Pistols so I made it the theme from Men In Black… Hello, Spike?"

"Hello, pet, how's things?"

"We're having a day of high drama. Buffy can explain. Thanks for the flowers. They came yesterday and they're gorgeous. I'm going to put Buffy on now not that I want rid of you but I think I can wait."

"Okay, luv, I'll speak to you in a bit." Dawn passed the phone to Buffy.

"Spike, hi…" Buffy managed to get out a greeting before she was forced to sniff.

"Buffy, are you crying? What's wrong, pet? Should I come home?" Spike's reply was verging on frantic.

"I'm just a bit sniffly. It's a long story and maybe, but it depends what's going on at your end."

"Okay, love, take a nice deep breath, let it out nice and slow and then start at the beginning of this long story." As he spoke, the vampire tossed around stuff in his duffle bag until he found the charger for his phone and connected it up.

Spike listened quietly as Buffy told him about the day's events, occasionally prompting her quietly to continue, until he got the full tale.

"Okay, pet, if it's okay with you, I'll leave the Xander side of things until later. Much as you like him, I don't think that's what you're really upset about, is it?" Spike began to talk her through the problem, his voice deliberately pitched, calm and soft.

"N-no."

"Right, so there's one bit of this I can straighten out now, no problem. Because of what Dawn said your suddenly thinking back over all the grief you've given me in front of her, and apart from feeling guilty about what she's been thinking of it all, to be blunt, you've begun to realise what a bitch you've been to me?"

"Uh-huh?"

"But we're talking about things you did before we came to our agreement, right?"

"Yeah."

"Buffy, as far as I'm concerned, that day we drove to Vegas is where "we" started. Every bad thing that happened between us up to then, it's gone. Forgiven, if not forgotten. We need a fresh start. I kinda got the impression that you went along with that idea, so, if you can let me off the hook about kidnapping you and trying to kill you, I think you get a get out of jail free card on the harsh language."

"Okay." Buffy agreed, although secretly she felt as if she were being let off lightly. She knew that the emotional scars that her words caused were probably far more damaging than any hurt he had caused her, even if some of his comments had been pretty painful too.

"So now we have the biggie. How's Dawn?"

"I don't know, to be honest. I'd almost say happier, like she's pleased it's out in the open." Buffy looked across at her younger sister, who nodded to express her agreement with Buffy's assessment. "She's obviously thought it all through as far as she can on her own and we were just discussing what our options might be when you rang and I still don't know why you rang."

"Why I rang can wait until my girls are feeling better. Put the Niblet back on the phone, but don't you go away. I'll want to speak with you again in a few minutes."

Spike waited till he heard the phone being passed back.

"Okay, pet, way I see it there are two main options. We assume that now Monkey Boy knows your secret all the other Scoobies are goin' to find out sooner or later. Or we hope he's going to be an anti-social git. Personally, I don't think this'll stay hidden but if you'd rather wait and see, I wouldn't blame you. Funny enough, I don't think any of them'll give you any serious grief about it. I think they'll probably be sympathetic but it has to be your choice. What do you think?"

"Tell them."

"Next question, would it help if I was there?"

"Duh… of course it would be nicer if you were around, but even if you started making arrangements now it could be days before you got back and it's going to sound better coming from me and Buffy rather than Xander."

"Okay, pet, point taken. If that's the case it might be a couple of days before I finish up here. Should I leave now, or wait till I'm done here?"

"Finish up what you're doing. That way I know when you get back, we've got your undivided attention."

"Okay, bit. I'll see you in a few days. Any other news you want to tell me, or is it all too sensitive to repeat in front of your sister?"

"It'll keep."

"Right, pet, in that case, I'll tell you the same thing I plan to tell your sister. I'm really proud and I feel really lucky that the pair of you would stick up for me like that in front of Xander. That said, for all we hate each other's guts, I know he loves both of you and vice versa, so it's up to the three of you to sort out some sort of agreement, because I'm not going to be the cause of breaking you lot up. If he hasn't been in touch with the two of you by tomorrow night, I want one of you to get in touch with him. Okay?"

"Okay." From the tone of her voice Spike could just imagine the eye rolling that accompanied the response.

"Right then, so other than telling you, I've missed you, I think it's time to pass the phone again, pet."

"Okay, missed you too, bye." Dawn gave the phone back to Buffy again.

Spike quickly covered the ground he'd already been over with Dawn.

"So, pet, is that everything sort of settled over there?"

"Sort of. You haven't seen Giles have you. I've been trying to ring him all day whenever it wasn't some silly time over there, but I keep getting his answering machine."

"That's because he's staying in town with a friend, ostensibly to be handy if I need him, but I don't know if he's checking his messages. I could give you his friend's number, but I'd leave it a while before you ring. He'd just left here when I rang you and it's quarter past four in the morning now, so…"

"Give me a minute to get a pen…" Spike supplied Olivia's number.

"Have we got a name to go with that?"

"Olivia."

"Aaah…" said Buffy.

"Does that mean you are aware of the lady in question?"

"Yeah, so are you, in a sense, even if you weren't formally introduced. She's the reason you went to stay in Xander's basement."

"So this is a long term thing then. Looks like Rupert is a bit of a dark horse. He must be doing something right if he can keep a pretty girl who's that much younger than he is" Spike joked, feigning an incredulous tone, "and I always thought the only company he had at night was a good book. I must have underestimated him."

"Little do you know…" Buffy muttered underneath her breath. There was no way Buffy was going to tell Spike about her mother and Giles and the band candy. For one thing, Spike would probably take it as a challenge to find more outrageous public places in which to have sex. She really didn't think she was up for finding anywhere that could remotely compete with on the hood of a police squad car.

"I heard that, Slayer, and I reserve my right to make relevant enquiries at a later date, when I can get at your ticklish spots while I question you."

The words, "You wouldn't dare!" escaped the slayer's mouth before she realised it was exactly the wrong thing to say. "Stop smirking. I can tell from twelve thousand miles away over a phone line, so stop it."

"Sorry, pet, it's beyond my control."

"Spike, not that it isn't nice to hear from you, and I did want to say thank you for the flowers, but why did you phone in the first place? Since this is the first actual call as opposed to text message that you've made I assume there was actually a reason."

"Actually, the Watcher told me to. Oh, and I'd better warn you, we kind of had a bit of a disagreement and I sort of told him about our future plans. He doesn't know anything about what happened after he left, but he knows we've agreed to see each other when I get back, so you've been warned."

"How did he take it?"

"Oh turned purple, looked like his head was going to explode, yelled a bit, I yelled back, threw him a stake, then he calmed down a bit and said he didn't approve but we were both adults. Then he said if I actually made you happy he might consider treating me like a human being and followed up with the standard threat about what'll happen if I hurt you. So better than expected I suppose."

"Oh, that reminds me, I don't know if he realises I meant it literally but I told Xander if he tried to come to you about the two of us, that you would give as good as you get. That doesn't mean you get to hit first or use your full strength, I don't want any permanent damage on either of you, so take it easy on him, remember he doesn't heal like you do and he's more breakable in the first place."

"I do actually get to hit him though?" Spike said sarcastically.

"Only if he hits you first."

"If I agree to this, I'm going to want lots of special treatment to make up for it. That boy's been askin' for a good hidin' for two years and you want me to take it easy on him."

"Check, lots of special treatment to be willingly supplied." Buffy responded in a low husky voice.

"Buffy," her name was almost a growl, "for one thing as you so rightly pointed out, I'm twelve thousand miles away. And for another I meant what I said about doing things in the right order. No Spike sex toys. Consider yourself cut-off until you're ready to make a commitment. So. Stop. Playing. With. Me… Love."

She could tell from his tone that he was serious, but the way has voice softened when he said the last word, she knew he wasn't holding any grudges. She also felt tremendously empowered, knowing that she could have such an effect on him, using just her voice.

"I'll behave." She replied in a meek tone.

"God, Buffy, you better tell me you haven't got that pout on your face or you're going to drive me insane, woman."

"No pout, no pout at all," she lied, trying to allow him to regain his equilibrium. "Anyway, Giles told you to phone because…"

"…because I have to make a decision, and it isn't one I'm very well equipped to make. We know who is behind everything. I must be getting really good at being obnoxious, because I've never even met him. Anyway, the thing is, the person in question is human.

Now, I know that if it couldn't be helped, you wouldn't object if I ended up killing someone in self-defence. At least that was my take on the whole camper van incident, I could be wrong though.

The problem is, actually there's two parts to the problem… I can only think of one way to get the contract stopped. I doubt the gentleman in question could be negotiated with and even if he gave his word I doubt he'd keep it. I don't know whether I could really say it's self-defence, and the last thing I want is for you to feel you have to stake me… I think it has to be your call, but it gets worse.

If I go ahead as I'd planned then the fact that the guy in question is Travers is going to mean that I'll probably have the whole bloody council wanting my head, and getting pissed off with you if you don't deliver. I think I could use some advice, pet."

"Great, Spike, that sounds even more complicated than finding out if my sister has a soul. I think I want a lot more details. What exactly have you found out? What proof do you have? And why does he want you dead? Is he using his money or council money?"

"Well I think at last count there were about four different motives I could come up with, but for some reason, possibly to do with the fact that it's nearly dawn, there's only three come immediately to mind. Bollocks! I'm sure I counted four one at one point…"

End of chapter 17