Konnichiwa! I finally got around to editting this story so that it was the way I wanted it. Took me forever, though. Sorry if it feels kind of disjointed or whatever. This is a Tomoyo and Eriol story - Kaho's dead, too. ^.^' I don't own CCS, and if I did, it would be horrible. I also don't make any money off of this, so please don't sue me. This is dedicated to my sister Satsuki-chan, who will probably never read this, but thinks that I can write pretty well. ^.^
Dreams: Chapter One
Hiding in the Shadows...
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Tomoyo walked through the gate and looked around her. She was in a garden; it was the one behind her house, and it was gorgeous. The flowers were all blooming, and their aroma was intoxicating. Tomoyo followed the path to a secluded corner of the garden and saw Sakura sitting on a stone bench, dressed in a beautiful pink dress that made Tomoyo's heart cry out. As Tomoyo neared the bench, Sakura looked up.
"Ah, Tomoyo-chan. I've been waiting for you." Sakura's emerald eyes glowed, seeming to shine only for Tomoyo.
"You have?" asked Tomoyo as she walked closer to the bench.
"Hai. I've something to tell you...."
"You do?" Tomoyo stepped nearer to Sakura.
"Un. But first you have to sit down...." Sakura motioned for Tomoyo to sit.
"Hai...." Tomoyo sat down, and Sakura pulled her closer so that her scent was stronger than that of the garden.
"Now, Tomoyo-chan. I know that you love me, and I've thought about how I feel about you for a long time." Sakura paused.
"And what have you decided...?" asked Tomoyo, hardly daring to believe.
"That, Tomoyo.... Aishiteru."
"You really do?" This was too good to be true.
"Hai. I've loved you for a long time."
"But what about Li-kun - ?"
"He means nothing to me."
"Hai...."
Sakura leaned closer to Tomoyo, and Tomoyo could feel the heat radiating out of her. Tomoyo leaned forward in response to Sakura. Their lips were about to meet; only a centimeter left -
Beep beep beep.
Tomoyo's hand flew out of the bundle of white covers on her bed to slap the alarm clock with all her might. It had happened again. She'd had the dream where Sakura revealed her secret feelings to her, and it had been ruined again. It was the stupid alarm clock's fault, and it didn't help that it always went off right as Sakura was about to kiss Tomoyo.
Tomoyo frowned. It isn't fair, she thought. I was the one that was there for Sakura over the years. I never left her side. I was the one who helped her through her depression, but do I get the credit? No! Li Syaoran does, that's who. All he did was desert his clan for her. He never devoted his whole life to her; he never devoted every single second of every single day to her. It's just not fair.
Tomoyo rolled over in her bed. I'd better get up unless I want to be late for school, she told herself. Sakura-chan might be worried.
Sighing, she sat up and stared at the parallel wall, memorizing its details as she pondered. Would Sakura-chan really miss you if you didn't go to school? she asked herself idly. She had Li-kun there to support her, protect her, and love her. When has she ever needed you. You might as well just stay home for all she would care.
Her mind drifted in a haze, thinking for who-knows-how-long before she came to a descision. Nodding smartly she thought, I might as well stay home today. I don't really feel like facing the 'happy couple' anyway...it hurts so much. Pain briefly filled her eyes at the thought until it was pushed away as Tomoyo got up and walked downstairs. She found her mother eating breakfast in the dining room, alone.
Walking up to her and stopping, she said, "Okaa-san, I don't think I'll go to school today."
"Is everything all right, Tomoyo-san?" asked Daidouji Sonomi in concern.
"I'm fine, Okaa-san, I just don't feel well."
"All right, then. Make sure to have plenty of rest, okay?"
"Hai." Tomoyo went back up to her room and lay down in her bed, staring at the ceiling with blood-shot eyes and seeing only visions of Sakura, happy with her beloved Syaoran.
Knock knock knock.
Tomoyo turned to face the door, wondering who it would be, and why they were here. She shouted, "Come in!"
"Tomoyo-chan, you didn't come to school today," said Sakura as she walked into the room. Tomoyo's face lit up. Then she saw Syaoran following meekly behind, and her grin faltered for a second before she forced on a smile. "So Syaoran-kun and I decided that we'd come and see if you were okay. So are you okay?"
"Hai. I just have a little head cold." She smiled at them in reassurance.
Sakura sighed in relief. "That's good. Not that you have a cold, but that it's not something serious."
But it is something serious, Sakura-chan. Something you'll never know about, Tomoyo thought to herself, determined to keep Sakura oblivious.
Sakura spoke again, interrupting her thoughts. "So are you well enough to go out with us? We're going to show Eriol-kun around, show him what's changed."
"When did Hiiragizawa-kun return?" asked Tomoyo curiously.
"Oh, yeah! You weren't in school today, so obviously you wouldn't know! Well, he just showed up today in school. Completely out of nowhere."
"Ah," said Tomoyo, thinking of the boy with blue hair and equally blue eyes.
"I still don't see why we have to show him around," mumbled Syaoran, speaking for the first time since he'd gotten there.
"Because he's our friend," explained Sakura, as if it were the simplest concept in the world.
"But he's been here before...," came Syaoran's last attempt. "And he's not even my friend."
"But, Li-kun, why don't you give Hiiragizawa-kun a chance? Become friends?" asked Tomoyo sweetly.
Syaoran stared at her in disbelief. "Me? Be friends with Hiiragizawa? With that - that - thing?"
"Don't call Eriol-kun a thing, Syaoran-kun," admonished Sakura.
"Hai...." Syaoran looked at his feet, face a brilliant red.
"I guess you should be going now, ne?" asked Tomoyo.
"Hai. Hope you're feeling better tomorrow! Ja!" Sakura waved and pushed Syaoran out of the room, beaming at Tomoyo the whole time.
After they'd left Tomoyo thought. Hiiragizawa-kun.... I wonder why you've come back. Weren't you happy in England? Is something going to happen to Sakura-chan? What about Mizuki-sensei?... Tomoyo slowly drifted off into sleep, dreaming again her most precious dream.
Tomoyo walked into the classroom and set down her bag. She still sat across the aisle from Sakura, and Syaoran still sat behind Sakura; things still stayed the same, no matter how many years passed. She sat down at her desk and leaned her head back, closing her eyes and relaxing.
"Ohayo gozaimasu, Daidouji-san," said a silky male voice from behind her. Tomoyo started and turned around, eyes lighting on a seventeen-year-old boy with the same blue hair as she remembered and deep blue eyes glinting behind a set of spectacles. He was taller, though, and he smiled at her politely.
"Ohayo gozaimasu, Hiiragizawa-kun. What brings you back to Japan?" Tomoyo asked, smiling courteously.
Eriol's carefully regulated smile faltered for a second before it steadied, but it was long enough for Tomoyo to see the underlying pain in his eyes. "Personal reasons," he supplied by way of answering.
"Ah," Tomoyo murmured, more to herself than to Eriol. "I heard about Mizuki-sensei...and was sadden terribly by the news. Gomen nasai for your loss."
Again the pain appeared in his eyes, this time accompainied by a twisted smile. "Arigatou," he said quietly.
"How are you coping?" she asked, feeling as if she tiptoed on broken glass.
For a second she thought that he wouldn't respond; then, voice cracking, "...Badly." He closed his eyes, swalling. Suddenly he looked up at her, eyes bright. "How are you and Sakura-san?" he asked, clearly in retaliation against her painful queries.
Tomoyo felt her smile flicker, but forced it to stay, resolved not to show weakness to the man in front of her. "We're doing quite well, in fact." Her voice oozed cheerfulness. "Sakura-chan has been much better, now that Li-kun is back from Hong Kong. Filming them has been very fun for me...." She trailed off as he looked at her, eyes knowing. She sighed and opened her mouth to say something, just as a ball of brilliant, sunshine energy danced into the room.
"Ohayo gozaimasu, Sakura-chan," she said, smiling at the auburn-haired figure.
"Ohayo gozaimasu, Sakura-san," said Eriol at nearly the same time.
"Ohayo gozaimasu, Tomoyo-chan, Eriol-san. I see you've talked." She plopped into her desk ungracefully, beaming at the duo, as Syaoran sat down behind her.
"Hai." Tomoyo smiled back at her, glad that she hadn't had to talk alone with Eriol any longer.
"Okay, class," said the teacher, interrupting their conversation. "Who can tell me...."
Tomoyo tuned into the teacher's lesson, forgetting momentarily her odd conversation with Hiiragizawa Eriol.
"Tomoyo-chan, do you want to go out for tea?" asked Sakura as she put away her school things energetically.
"Hai," replied Tomoyo as she got up from her seat.
"Great! And you, Eriol-kun, would you like to join Syaoran-kun, Tomoyo-chan, and me for tea?" asked Sakura, turning to Eriol with a large smile in place.
"I'd love to. Just let me gather my things. I may take a minute, so I'll meet you outside."
"Okay. Tomoyo-chan, are you ready?"
"I just have to get something from the music room."
"So you and Eriol-kun will meet us outside?"
"Hai," replied Eriol, looking at Tomoyo for consent. She nodded.
"See you in a few minutes. We'll be down at the gate." Sakura took Syaoran by the arm and led him out of the room.
"Shall we go to the music room?" asked Eriol, standing up.
Tomoyo blinked. She hadn't realized that he was finished packing. "Hai." Tomoyo led Eriol into the music room, neither wanting to speak. "I need to get some music and then we can meet Sakura-chan and Li-kun." Tomoyo went over to a cabinet and opened it, searching with her fingers for her music. "Hiiragizawa-kun, could you turn on a light, please?"
"Hai." Eriol turned on the light and then ventured over to the piano. He sat down on the bench and played a few bars of music. Tomoyo glanced over at him.
"What are you playing?" she asked as she continued to rummage for the sheet music.
"Oh, nothing, really. Just running through part of a song I'm working on."
"Ah. It sounds beautiful."
"It is."
"I found it!" Tomoyo pulled out her music and looked at it. "Good, it's all here. Now to put it away...." She opened her bag and started to stuff it in it as Eriol started to play in earnet.
"What song is that?" asked Tomoyo, listening to the haunting melody.
"A song I've been writing recently. It was inspired by Kaho. And her death...." His eyes clouded for a second, remembering.
As Eriol continued playing his song, Tomoyo closed her eyes and hummed along softly to herself, loving the graceful sound of the piano. She'd forgotten how skillful Eriol could be when he wanted to.
They were like that for some time, Tomoyo listening and Eriol playing, until, suddenly, Eriol glanced at her and stopped. "Why'd you stop, Hiiragizawa-kun?" she asked, startled.
"Because Sakura-san and Li-kun are probably still waiting for us," he replied.
"Oh! I completely forgot!" Tomoyo grabbed her bag and she and Eriol went out to the gate to see a very bored looking Sakura and Syaoran. "Sakura-chan, gomen nasai! I couldn't find my music...."
"It's all right. The important thing is that you're here and we can go now." Sakura smiled at them brightly and led the way to her favorite cafe. They sat down at a booth near a window and ordered their tea. While they were waiting for their orders they starting talking about all that Eriol had missed.
"....so after Sakura-chan fixed the bear she ran off to the airport to catch Li-kun. I wish I could have taped it...." Tomoyo's gaze got a glazed look as she stared off into space. Sakura and Syaoran sweatdropped.
"Ah. So what happened after that, Sakura-san?" asked Eriol.
"Well, I got a little depressed and then Syaoran-kun fought the clan so that he could come back to me. He lost and was cast out, and he's back forever!" exclaimed Sakura enthusiastically.
A little depressed? thought Tomoyo. She was going to suicide! It was horri -
"Tomoyo-san, how has your singing been going?" asked Eriol.
It took Tomoyo a moment to collect herself, but before she could reply Sakura spoke up. "She sings at every concert our school has! And her voice is more beautiful every time! She's wonderful!"
But not as wonderful as you, Sakura-chan, Tomoyo thought wistfully.
"I'd love to hear you sometime. Maybe we can perform a piece together with me at the piano," suggested Eriol, looking at Tomoyo.
"I'd love that," replied Tomoyo. "So, Hiiragizawa-kun, what have you been up to in England?"
"Oh, not very much. I've been adjusting to life without as much magic, and that takes a while to get used to. But Ruby Moon-san and Spinel-san help me out." He smiled briefly at the thought of his two guardians.
"How are they?" asked Sakura.
"They both came back here with me; they find it too painful to part. Ruby Moon-san is probably chasing her bishounen, and Spinel-san is probably reading."
"What does Spinel read?" asked Syaoran, curious in spite of his supposed hatred of Eriol.
"Mostly books on magic, but the occasional shoujo manga," answered Eriol as Sakura burst out laughing.
"Where does he get them?" asked Syaoran, incredulous.
"Mostly from Ruby Moon-san, but a few from my study."
"You read shoujo manga, Hiiragizawa-kun?" asked Tomoyo.
"I prefer not to answer that question," replied Eriol primly.
They all laughed for a while, and when they'd calmed down, Sakura ventured, "I heard about what happened to Mizuki-sensei. Gomen nasai, Eriol-kun."
"Arigatou, Sakura-san," whispered Eriol in response, carefully studying his English tea blend.
"It must have been hard for you," she continued, attempting to sympathize with him.
"H-hai." The reply was choked, barely coming out. "She missed you," he said, barely audiable. "She'd say every day how much she wished she could hear the tinkling bell of your laugh."
At this Sakura sniffed, overwhelmed with emotions. Syaoran reached over the table that separated them, handing her a handkerchief and squeezing her hand in reassurance. Sakura managed a watery smile at them. "Gomen nasai, minna-san. It's just...it's so hard to believe that she's gone...." Syaoran smiled at her and her face grew brighter, less sad.
That should have been me, thought Tomoyo. I should have been the one to cheer Sakura-chan up, not Li-kun. Eriol looked across the table at Tomoyo, his eyes understanding, as always. He knew what she was feeling, even if he wasn't aware of it himself.
Finally Sakura had gotten back to her normal, enthusiastic self, smiling at the world in general. "I guess we should be going now," said Sakura, getting her bag. "Ja ne." She and Syaoran walked out of the cafe, talking happily, as if they were alone in the world.
"We should go home, too," said Eriol, watching the fading couple. "Would you like me to walk you home?"
Tomoyo tilted her head to the side and thought for a second. Then she looked at Eriol. "I'd love that, Hiiragizawa-kun." Eriol and Tomoyo picked up their things and started towards Tomoyo's house, barely acknowledging the presence of the other. Then Eriol spoke.
"Don't blame Sakura-san."
"Nani?" asked Tomoyo, confused.
"Don't blame Sakura-san." There was no need to ask what he was talking about; it was clear to them both. "It's not her fault that she loves Li-kun so much."
Tomoyo looked at him, surprised. She'd forgotten how perceptive he could be. "I know that, but it doesn't mean that it's easy to accept."
"You should try to forgive her and to move on. The heart has room for lots of love, but first you have to forgive."
"I'm trying."
"Are you really, Daidouji-san? Do you really want to forgive and forget Sakura-san? Or do you want to continue to protect her from everything, including the truth about how you feel?"
Tomoyo gasped. Suddenly every rational thought left her head. Her mind whirled around, furious, and she hadn't even the slightest idea as to why. Gritting her teeth against her anger and her confusion, she replied, "I would like to protect her, but that's impossible, now isn't it? I shall just have to be the smiling friend in the background."
"If you know that it's pointless, why don't you move on? Find someone else to love?" This broke Tomoyo's dwindling patience.
"I don't really think that you, Hiiragizawa-kun, should talk about moving on. What are you doing about Mizuki-sensei, may I ask? She died months ago, and I see you doing nothing to get over her in the least."
Eriol's eyes flickered, and she knew that she'd gone too far, but at the moment she couldn't care less. "It is my own personal business whether or not I get over Kaho-san," he snapped back at her.
"As is whether or not I get over Sakura-chan, including 'forgiving and forgetting' her. Here's something to think on, Hiiragizawa-san; don't give out advice on matters unless you are fully ready to comply with them. Good day." And with that Tomoyo stomped off to her house, knowing full well that she'd regret her words later.
-----
Ah, I'm just so horrible at writing angst. It also doesn't help that I already had this written out, only Kaho had left Eriol instead of dying. @.@' Tell me what you think, including if you think it sucks. Please leave a review at FFN or e-mail me at cmage_88@yahoo.com, and arigatou!
Dreams: Chapter One
Hiding in the Shadows...
-----
Tomoyo walked through the gate and looked around her. She was in a garden; it was the one behind her house, and it was gorgeous. The flowers were all blooming, and their aroma was intoxicating. Tomoyo followed the path to a secluded corner of the garden and saw Sakura sitting on a stone bench, dressed in a beautiful pink dress that made Tomoyo's heart cry out. As Tomoyo neared the bench, Sakura looked up.
"Ah, Tomoyo-chan. I've been waiting for you." Sakura's emerald eyes glowed, seeming to shine only for Tomoyo.
"You have?" asked Tomoyo as she walked closer to the bench.
"Hai. I've something to tell you...."
"You do?" Tomoyo stepped nearer to Sakura.
"Un. But first you have to sit down...." Sakura motioned for Tomoyo to sit.
"Hai...." Tomoyo sat down, and Sakura pulled her closer so that her scent was stronger than that of the garden.
"Now, Tomoyo-chan. I know that you love me, and I've thought about how I feel about you for a long time." Sakura paused.
"And what have you decided...?" asked Tomoyo, hardly daring to believe.
"That, Tomoyo.... Aishiteru."
"You really do?" This was too good to be true.
"Hai. I've loved you for a long time."
"But what about Li-kun - ?"
"He means nothing to me."
"Hai...."
Sakura leaned closer to Tomoyo, and Tomoyo could feel the heat radiating out of her. Tomoyo leaned forward in response to Sakura. Their lips were about to meet; only a centimeter left -
Beep beep beep.
Tomoyo's hand flew out of the bundle of white covers on her bed to slap the alarm clock with all her might. It had happened again. She'd had the dream where Sakura revealed her secret feelings to her, and it had been ruined again. It was the stupid alarm clock's fault, and it didn't help that it always went off right as Sakura was about to kiss Tomoyo.
Tomoyo frowned. It isn't fair, she thought. I was the one that was there for Sakura over the years. I never left her side. I was the one who helped her through her depression, but do I get the credit? No! Li Syaoran does, that's who. All he did was desert his clan for her. He never devoted his whole life to her; he never devoted every single second of every single day to her. It's just not fair.
Tomoyo rolled over in her bed. I'd better get up unless I want to be late for school, she told herself. Sakura-chan might be worried.
Sighing, she sat up and stared at the parallel wall, memorizing its details as she pondered. Would Sakura-chan really miss you if you didn't go to school? she asked herself idly. She had Li-kun there to support her, protect her, and love her. When has she ever needed you. You might as well just stay home for all she would care.
Her mind drifted in a haze, thinking for who-knows-how-long before she came to a descision. Nodding smartly she thought, I might as well stay home today. I don't really feel like facing the 'happy couple' anyway...it hurts so much. Pain briefly filled her eyes at the thought until it was pushed away as Tomoyo got up and walked downstairs. She found her mother eating breakfast in the dining room, alone.
Walking up to her and stopping, she said, "Okaa-san, I don't think I'll go to school today."
"Is everything all right, Tomoyo-san?" asked Daidouji Sonomi in concern.
"I'm fine, Okaa-san, I just don't feel well."
"All right, then. Make sure to have plenty of rest, okay?"
"Hai." Tomoyo went back up to her room and lay down in her bed, staring at the ceiling with blood-shot eyes and seeing only visions of Sakura, happy with her beloved Syaoran.
Knock knock knock.
Tomoyo turned to face the door, wondering who it would be, and why they were here. She shouted, "Come in!"
"Tomoyo-chan, you didn't come to school today," said Sakura as she walked into the room. Tomoyo's face lit up. Then she saw Syaoran following meekly behind, and her grin faltered for a second before she forced on a smile. "So Syaoran-kun and I decided that we'd come and see if you were okay. So are you okay?"
"Hai. I just have a little head cold." She smiled at them in reassurance.
Sakura sighed in relief. "That's good. Not that you have a cold, but that it's not something serious."
But it is something serious, Sakura-chan. Something you'll never know about, Tomoyo thought to herself, determined to keep Sakura oblivious.
Sakura spoke again, interrupting her thoughts. "So are you well enough to go out with us? We're going to show Eriol-kun around, show him what's changed."
"When did Hiiragizawa-kun return?" asked Tomoyo curiously.
"Oh, yeah! You weren't in school today, so obviously you wouldn't know! Well, he just showed up today in school. Completely out of nowhere."
"Ah," said Tomoyo, thinking of the boy with blue hair and equally blue eyes.
"I still don't see why we have to show him around," mumbled Syaoran, speaking for the first time since he'd gotten there.
"Because he's our friend," explained Sakura, as if it were the simplest concept in the world.
"But he's been here before...," came Syaoran's last attempt. "And he's not even my friend."
"But, Li-kun, why don't you give Hiiragizawa-kun a chance? Become friends?" asked Tomoyo sweetly.
Syaoran stared at her in disbelief. "Me? Be friends with Hiiragizawa? With that - that - thing?"
"Don't call Eriol-kun a thing, Syaoran-kun," admonished Sakura.
"Hai...." Syaoran looked at his feet, face a brilliant red.
"I guess you should be going now, ne?" asked Tomoyo.
"Hai. Hope you're feeling better tomorrow! Ja!" Sakura waved and pushed Syaoran out of the room, beaming at Tomoyo the whole time.
After they'd left Tomoyo thought. Hiiragizawa-kun.... I wonder why you've come back. Weren't you happy in England? Is something going to happen to Sakura-chan? What about Mizuki-sensei?... Tomoyo slowly drifted off into sleep, dreaming again her most precious dream.
Tomoyo walked into the classroom and set down her bag. She still sat across the aisle from Sakura, and Syaoran still sat behind Sakura; things still stayed the same, no matter how many years passed. She sat down at her desk and leaned her head back, closing her eyes and relaxing.
"Ohayo gozaimasu, Daidouji-san," said a silky male voice from behind her. Tomoyo started and turned around, eyes lighting on a seventeen-year-old boy with the same blue hair as she remembered and deep blue eyes glinting behind a set of spectacles. He was taller, though, and he smiled at her politely.
"Ohayo gozaimasu, Hiiragizawa-kun. What brings you back to Japan?" Tomoyo asked, smiling courteously.
Eriol's carefully regulated smile faltered for a second before it steadied, but it was long enough for Tomoyo to see the underlying pain in his eyes. "Personal reasons," he supplied by way of answering.
"Ah," Tomoyo murmured, more to herself than to Eriol. "I heard about Mizuki-sensei...and was sadden terribly by the news. Gomen nasai for your loss."
Again the pain appeared in his eyes, this time accompainied by a twisted smile. "Arigatou," he said quietly.
"How are you coping?" she asked, feeling as if she tiptoed on broken glass.
For a second she thought that he wouldn't respond; then, voice cracking, "...Badly." He closed his eyes, swalling. Suddenly he looked up at her, eyes bright. "How are you and Sakura-san?" he asked, clearly in retaliation against her painful queries.
Tomoyo felt her smile flicker, but forced it to stay, resolved not to show weakness to the man in front of her. "We're doing quite well, in fact." Her voice oozed cheerfulness. "Sakura-chan has been much better, now that Li-kun is back from Hong Kong. Filming them has been very fun for me...." She trailed off as he looked at her, eyes knowing. She sighed and opened her mouth to say something, just as a ball of brilliant, sunshine energy danced into the room.
"Ohayo gozaimasu, Sakura-chan," she said, smiling at the auburn-haired figure.
"Ohayo gozaimasu, Sakura-san," said Eriol at nearly the same time.
"Ohayo gozaimasu, Tomoyo-chan, Eriol-san. I see you've talked." She plopped into her desk ungracefully, beaming at the duo, as Syaoran sat down behind her.
"Hai." Tomoyo smiled back at her, glad that she hadn't had to talk alone with Eriol any longer.
"Okay, class," said the teacher, interrupting their conversation. "Who can tell me...."
Tomoyo tuned into the teacher's lesson, forgetting momentarily her odd conversation with Hiiragizawa Eriol.
"Tomoyo-chan, do you want to go out for tea?" asked Sakura as she put away her school things energetically.
"Hai," replied Tomoyo as she got up from her seat.
"Great! And you, Eriol-kun, would you like to join Syaoran-kun, Tomoyo-chan, and me for tea?" asked Sakura, turning to Eriol with a large smile in place.
"I'd love to. Just let me gather my things. I may take a minute, so I'll meet you outside."
"Okay. Tomoyo-chan, are you ready?"
"I just have to get something from the music room."
"So you and Eriol-kun will meet us outside?"
"Hai," replied Eriol, looking at Tomoyo for consent. She nodded.
"See you in a few minutes. We'll be down at the gate." Sakura took Syaoran by the arm and led him out of the room.
"Shall we go to the music room?" asked Eriol, standing up.
Tomoyo blinked. She hadn't realized that he was finished packing. "Hai." Tomoyo led Eriol into the music room, neither wanting to speak. "I need to get some music and then we can meet Sakura-chan and Li-kun." Tomoyo went over to a cabinet and opened it, searching with her fingers for her music. "Hiiragizawa-kun, could you turn on a light, please?"
"Hai." Eriol turned on the light and then ventured over to the piano. He sat down on the bench and played a few bars of music. Tomoyo glanced over at him.
"What are you playing?" she asked as she continued to rummage for the sheet music.
"Oh, nothing, really. Just running through part of a song I'm working on."
"Ah. It sounds beautiful."
"It is."
"I found it!" Tomoyo pulled out her music and looked at it. "Good, it's all here. Now to put it away...." She opened her bag and started to stuff it in it as Eriol started to play in earnet.
"What song is that?" asked Tomoyo, listening to the haunting melody.
"A song I've been writing recently. It was inspired by Kaho. And her death...." His eyes clouded for a second, remembering.
As Eriol continued playing his song, Tomoyo closed her eyes and hummed along softly to herself, loving the graceful sound of the piano. She'd forgotten how skillful Eriol could be when he wanted to.
They were like that for some time, Tomoyo listening and Eriol playing, until, suddenly, Eriol glanced at her and stopped. "Why'd you stop, Hiiragizawa-kun?" she asked, startled.
"Because Sakura-san and Li-kun are probably still waiting for us," he replied.
"Oh! I completely forgot!" Tomoyo grabbed her bag and she and Eriol went out to the gate to see a very bored looking Sakura and Syaoran. "Sakura-chan, gomen nasai! I couldn't find my music...."
"It's all right. The important thing is that you're here and we can go now." Sakura smiled at them brightly and led the way to her favorite cafe. They sat down at a booth near a window and ordered their tea. While they were waiting for their orders they starting talking about all that Eriol had missed.
"....so after Sakura-chan fixed the bear she ran off to the airport to catch Li-kun. I wish I could have taped it...." Tomoyo's gaze got a glazed look as she stared off into space. Sakura and Syaoran sweatdropped.
"Ah. So what happened after that, Sakura-san?" asked Eriol.
"Well, I got a little depressed and then Syaoran-kun fought the clan so that he could come back to me. He lost and was cast out, and he's back forever!" exclaimed Sakura enthusiastically.
A little depressed? thought Tomoyo. She was going to suicide! It was horri -
"Tomoyo-san, how has your singing been going?" asked Eriol.
It took Tomoyo a moment to collect herself, but before she could reply Sakura spoke up. "She sings at every concert our school has! And her voice is more beautiful every time! She's wonderful!"
But not as wonderful as you, Sakura-chan, Tomoyo thought wistfully.
"I'd love to hear you sometime. Maybe we can perform a piece together with me at the piano," suggested Eriol, looking at Tomoyo.
"I'd love that," replied Tomoyo. "So, Hiiragizawa-kun, what have you been up to in England?"
"Oh, not very much. I've been adjusting to life without as much magic, and that takes a while to get used to. But Ruby Moon-san and Spinel-san help me out." He smiled briefly at the thought of his two guardians.
"How are they?" asked Sakura.
"They both came back here with me; they find it too painful to part. Ruby Moon-san is probably chasing her bishounen, and Spinel-san is probably reading."
"What does Spinel read?" asked Syaoran, curious in spite of his supposed hatred of Eriol.
"Mostly books on magic, but the occasional shoujo manga," answered Eriol as Sakura burst out laughing.
"Where does he get them?" asked Syaoran, incredulous.
"Mostly from Ruby Moon-san, but a few from my study."
"You read shoujo manga, Hiiragizawa-kun?" asked Tomoyo.
"I prefer not to answer that question," replied Eriol primly.
They all laughed for a while, and when they'd calmed down, Sakura ventured, "I heard about what happened to Mizuki-sensei. Gomen nasai, Eriol-kun."
"Arigatou, Sakura-san," whispered Eriol in response, carefully studying his English tea blend.
"It must have been hard for you," she continued, attempting to sympathize with him.
"H-hai." The reply was choked, barely coming out. "She missed you," he said, barely audiable. "She'd say every day how much she wished she could hear the tinkling bell of your laugh."
At this Sakura sniffed, overwhelmed with emotions. Syaoran reached over the table that separated them, handing her a handkerchief and squeezing her hand in reassurance. Sakura managed a watery smile at them. "Gomen nasai, minna-san. It's just...it's so hard to believe that she's gone...." Syaoran smiled at her and her face grew brighter, less sad.
That should have been me, thought Tomoyo. I should have been the one to cheer Sakura-chan up, not Li-kun. Eriol looked across the table at Tomoyo, his eyes understanding, as always. He knew what she was feeling, even if he wasn't aware of it himself.
Finally Sakura had gotten back to her normal, enthusiastic self, smiling at the world in general. "I guess we should be going now," said Sakura, getting her bag. "Ja ne." She and Syaoran walked out of the cafe, talking happily, as if they were alone in the world.
"We should go home, too," said Eriol, watching the fading couple. "Would you like me to walk you home?"
Tomoyo tilted her head to the side and thought for a second. Then she looked at Eriol. "I'd love that, Hiiragizawa-kun." Eriol and Tomoyo picked up their things and started towards Tomoyo's house, barely acknowledging the presence of the other. Then Eriol spoke.
"Don't blame Sakura-san."
"Nani?" asked Tomoyo, confused.
"Don't blame Sakura-san." There was no need to ask what he was talking about; it was clear to them both. "It's not her fault that she loves Li-kun so much."
Tomoyo looked at him, surprised. She'd forgotten how perceptive he could be. "I know that, but it doesn't mean that it's easy to accept."
"You should try to forgive her and to move on. The heart has room for lots of love, but first you have to forgive."
"I'm trying."
"Are you really, Daidouji-san? Do you really want to forgive and forget Sakura-san? Or do you want to continue to protect her from everything, including the truth about how you feel?"
Tomoyo gasped. Suddenly every rational thought left her head. Her mind whirled around, furious, and she hadn't even the slightest idea as to why. Gritting her teeth against her anger and her confusion, she replied, "I would like to protect her, but that's impossible, now isn't it? I shall just have to be the smiling friend in the background."
"If you know that it's pointless, why don't you move on? Find someone else to love?" This broke Tomoyo's dwindling patience.
"I don't really think that you, Hiiragizawa-kun, should talk about moving on. What are you doing about Mizuki-sensei, may I ask? She died months ago, and I see you doing nothing to get over her in the least."
Eriol's eyes flickered, and she knew that she'd gone too far, but at the moment she couldn't care less. "It is my own personal business whether or not I get over Kaho-san," he snapped back at her.
"As is whether or not I get over Sakura-chan, including 'forgiving and forgetting' her. Here's something to think on, Hiiragizawa-san; don't give out advice on matters unless you are fully ready to comply with them. Good day." And with that Tomoyo stomped off to her house, knowing full well that she'd regret her words later.
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Ah, I'm just so horrible at writing angst. It also doesn't help that I already had this written out, only Kaho had left Eriol instead of dying. @.@' Tell me what you think, including if you think it sucks. Please leave a review at FFN or e-mail me at cmage_88@yahoo.com, and arigatou!