[A/N - Ah, once again I write of a romance that so easily reflects my current life situation. I think I'm beginning to understand the truth to 'art imitating life'. Or something like that. Blah, I'm just so f'ing confused. Once you read, I'm pretty sure you'll have the general idea of what's been on Ztar's mind lately. Speaking of Ztar, she owns nothing here, except the plot which reminds her too much of why her life sucks.]
[One more note: this fic contains SLASH, albiet it being one-sided. If you don't think you can handle that, then hit that little 'back' button on your browser. Don't come complaining to me later. Not only did I give you fair warning, I'm not in the mood to be pissed off.]
[Lyrics & melody © 1991 Bonnie Raitt]
I Can't Make You Love Me
He was always passive, calm, and remained cool under pressure. His best friend, respectively, was just the opposite: eager, spontaneous, and quick to panic. Yet in spite of the numerous differences, he always felt close to his friend, in the best and worst of time.
But how close is TOO close?
Tallest Purple found that out for himself.
By now, Tallest Red and Tallest Purple had been ruling side-by-side for a good year's time. At the start things were rough between them, but as their co-ruling progressed, the two leaders had learned not only the meaning of teamwork, but the meaning of friendship as well.
Yet recently, new meanings of 'friendship' had been making their way into Purple's mind. There were moments when the leaders would hug, or walk arm-in-arm down the corridors of the MASSIVE, both signs of close friendship. But for some reason, over the past two months, Purple had felt a little twinging in his chest whenever the two touched.
"What is going on..." he would say to himself. "Why do I feel this... tingly?"
It was such a familiar sensation, and it felt so right, but he couldn't place it exactly. It reminded him of his days during his childhood when...
"When I had..."
when he had...
"A crush."
Was that it? Did he have feelings for his partner? Did he have a crush on Almighty Tallest Red!?
Of course not.
That was silly.
Galactial leaders had no time for silly things like love.
And yet, the thought was ever present in Purple's mind, when he got up, as he ate, as he talked, as he read, and as he slept... Red was there, ever remaining in his thoughts.
That kept on until one day, when Purple was fed up with the concept. "I do NOT like Red!" He declared to no one at all.
Say what you want, my dear lavander leader.
For the truth was...
Purple DID like Red.
He was falling for him
falling HARD.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~
=FOUR WEEKS LATER=
"Ah, Purple, there you are," spoke a smooth, deep voice.
Purple turned around quickly, almost dropping the cup of coffee he was holding. "Oh, R-r-red! How n-nice of you to come see me."
Red looked around the cafeteria, noticing that the two leaders were alone. "I had a feeling you'd be here. You always get your morning coffee when no one is around."
"I like the silence," he said, taking a sip.
"Too bad," Red replied, "because you're bunking in my quarters tonight."
Purple's instant reaction was to spit and choke on his coffee. After a wild coughing fit, he grabbed a napkin and wiped at his mouth, mopping up the brown liquid. "W-what did you say?"
"The ship inspectors found some faulty pipework near your quartering facility. There's a small crack in the wall, and if it gets any bigger, you'll have engine exhaust stinking up your room. Not pleasant..." Red added, walking over to a mini refrigerator to get a soda. "Tonight would be the best and soonest time for the repair crew to fix your wall and the pipe, since we'll be landing overnight on Planet Zooge. In the meantime, you'll have to bunk somewhere else. And I figured," he said, slipping an arm over Purple's shoulder, "Why not just bunk with me? Good friend gotta stick together, right?"
Purple felt the heat rising in his cheeks as Red's arm slithered across his upper body. "Right..." he said softly.
"ANYway..." Red started to head for the door, "I'll give you a moment to figure out what you want to to bring with you, and when you decide, you can just drop the stuff off in my room. Oh, and don't forget, we have an assembly in an hour. See you later."
Purple watched intently as his crush left the room, but his gaze soon focuzed mainly on the wall. Everything began to grow blurry; he was so lost in a daze he did not dare blink. "Red wants to bunk with me... does this mean... could it be..."
He wasn't sure. But he was hopeful.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~
"All personnel on deck."
"Tower, this is MASSIVE unit #34. Requesting permission to land."
"Permissions granted."
(Steady as she goes,) Purple thought to himself. The landing on Zooge went smoothly, and within moments the main engine was off, and the MASSIVE began shutdown preparation for the night.
Purple spent a moment talking with the crew that would be working on the pipe repairs, then packed his 'suitcase' and walked down the hall into Red's sleeping quarters.
"It's about time you got here..." Red grinned. "It's late!"
"Huh?" Purple frowned. "Red, it's only 10 o'clock."
"Oh... so it is." The crimson Irken laughed lightly to himself. "I just feel so tired..."
"It's been a big day..." Purple said softly.
"Right. Does this mean your ready to go to bed, too?"
A grin from the violet-eyed figure. "Yeah." He walked to a green leather couch that was positioned in the middle of the room. "See you in the morning."
"Purple..." Red said with some concern, "I'm not going to have you sleep on the couch."
"...What?"
"Zooge is very cold during this time of its rotation, and sleeping on a leather sofa won't help you. My bed is big enough for both of us."
Purple swallowed. "The... bed?"
"Well yeah! Why not? It's a lot softer than the sofa, and the blankets will keep you warm."
(You will, too.) "The MASSIVE has heating, doesn't it?"
"Yes, but with the engine off, it won't be as powerful." Red walked into his washroom. "Change into your night clothes, and I'll be right out."
Purple's breathing began to get heavy. Was this all a dream? He knew that Red felt close to him, but willing to sleep in the same bed? It just seemed too unreal.
As he undressed, a gust of cold air hit his back, and he felt something warm caress him. Gentle fingers rub up and down his arms, a smooth chest against his backside, and a voice whispering into his ear.
Red...
Purple shook his head. It was all an illusion. This was the first time he had envisioned an erotic fantasy between him and Red.
"Please tell me this is NOT happening..." he whispered to himself.
It had taken him enough time to accept the fact that he had a crush on his friend. But the more he kept it bottled inside, the stronger his feelings got. But he refused to admit it was love. No, it was not love. It could never be love.
"All set?" Red emerged from his washroom, his face freshly powdered from his cleansing chalk. "You can have a turn in there if you like."
"Uh.. n-no, I'm all set." Purple slid underneath the covers.
"Good." Red flipped down the sheets to his side of his crimson bed and flicked off the light switch.
/Turn down the lights,
Turn down the bed,
Turn down these voices
Inside my head./
As the two began to settle into a compfortable sleeping postion, clouds began to roll overhead. What Red had forgot to mention before was not only was Zooge cold during this time of rotation, but there were also many frequent --and strong-- thunderstorms. And Purple was deathly afraid of thunderstorms, a secret that only his crimson partner knew about.
So of course when the grayish clouds began to fight high above the landing dock, Purple couldn't help but feel an eensy bit frightened. Red sensed the distress and opened his eyes, sitting up to look at his partnet the best he coudl in the dark.
"Purple, you okay?"
"Um..."
"That's right... you don't like thunderstorms very much, do you?"
Purple shook his head, even though Red probably did not see it. "No..."
Red grinned and laughed playfully. "Don't worry; I'll keep you safe." He pulled Purple to him. "There. Don't be scared."
/Lay down with me,
Tell me no lies.
Just hold me close,
Don't patronize - don't patronize me/
A flash of lightning lit up the room as clear as day. Purple jumped about 6 feet off the bed and whimpered. "I feel so ashamed... I can face an army of a thousand slaughtering rat people, but I can't handle a simple thunderstorm."
"Ah, that's okay," Red reassured. "All of us have silly fears. For example, I'm afraid of the snack machine being empty, and you don't hold that against me, do you?"
"Not at all."
"Okay then."
Purple sighed against Red's semi-bare chest. The shirt to his sleep clothes were half-open, exposing his smooth green skin. Purple longed to do more than simply rest there, but he was too scared to make a move. Red was always better at that sort of thing, anyway.
/Cause I can't make you love me
If you don't
You can't make your heart feel
Something it won't/
(Does he like me back, or am I just making up another fantasy for myself?) "Oh Red..." the violet-eyed Irken spoke in a soft, sensual tone. "Thank you for being there for me." He glanced up expectantly, nuzzling his face into Red's neck.
Red looked down, but he did not move forward. "What are friends for?"
(Friends...)
They were friends.
Nothing more.
That's when Purple realized that he WAS in love.
And THAT hurt.
/Here in the dark,
In these lonely hours
I will lay down my heart
And I'll feel the power/
Purple sighed and drew back from Red's embrace. He has to stop putting himself in these visions. All he was doing was setting himself up for a big dissapointment, and he knew it, but he could not quit. The only way to end it was to fess all.
Red, once again, was able to detect the distress in his friend. "Purple, is everything okay?"
"No..."
/But you won't, no you won't/
"You know you can talk to me about anything."
/'Cause I can't make you love me, if you don't./
"Red..." he started, "I've decided to change my life. I'm going to make a more positive outlook on things."
"Oh, Pur, that's great!" He scooped him up in a hug. "Tell me about it."
Purple winced.
/I'll close my eyes,
Then I won't see
The love you don't feel
When you're holding me/
He pulled away again and looked Red directly in the eye, not paying any mind to the storm outside, because he was so focued on the storm INside. "I'm going to stop mixing up fantasy with reality. I'm going to stop placing myself into fictional situations just so I can feel better inside, because all it does is set me up for future pain."
Red was curious. "Like what do you mean?"
Purple took a deep, shaky breath. "I'm going to accept that you're never going to like me more than a friend."
/Morning will come
And I'll do what's right
Just give me till then
To give up this fight/
Red stared in shock. He made hand motions, as if he wanted to talk, but couldn't find the words.
"It's okay," Purple started. "You don't have to sa---"
"J-just give me a minute to process this." Red held his head. "Oh Pur... you know how much I care about you, but...
"I know..."
"I don't want to jeopardize our friendship."
Purple glanced away in shame. "I don't want that either."
"I..." Red was speechless.
Purple shook his head. "No... it's time for me to let go..."
/And I will give up this fight!/
Red watched his friend get up. "Where are you going?"
"I'm going into the guest quarters. I... I can't stay the night here. Not anymore. Not knowing..."
Red stood. Again, the crimson leader was at a loss for words. "Purple!"
A pause. "Yes?"
"...I'm sorry."
/Cause I can't make you love me
If you don't
You can't make your heart feel
Something it won't/
Purple gave a sad smile. "It's okay. It's not your fault... it be me own. I was foolish enough to think that maybe what we had was... a little more than friendship. I didn't really expcet it to be. I hoped it would be, but I didn't expect it."
//Here in the dark,
In these lonely hours
I will lay down my heart
And I'll feel the power/
"Why didn't you tell me sooner?"
"I was scared."
"Scared? Oh, Pur..."
Purple held a hand out to stop Red from moving closer. "We'll talk later."
"Ok."
/But you won't, no you won't/
Red reached over and gave his partner a hug. Purple tried not to enjoy it too much. "Goodnight, my friend."
/'Cause I can't make you love me.../
Purple sighed.
"Goodnight... friend."
/If you don't.../
[One more note: this fic contains SLASH, albiet it being one-sided. If you don't think you can handle that, then hit that little 'back' button on your browser. Don't come complaining to me later. Not only did I give you fair warning, I'm not in the mood to be pissed off.]
[Lyrics & melody © 1991 Bonnie Raitt]
I Can't Make You Love Me
He was always passive, calm, and remained cool under pressure. His best friend, respectively, was just the opposite: eager, spontaneous, and quick to panic. Yet in spite of the numerous differences, he always felt close to his friend, in the best and worst of time.
But how close is TOO close?
Tallest Purple found that out for himself.
By now, Tallest Red and Tallest Purple had been ruling side-by-side for a good year's time. At the start things were rough between them, but as their co-ruling progressed, the two leaders had learned not only the meaning of teamwork, but the meaning of friendship as well.
Yet recently, new meanings of 'friendship' had been making their way into Purple's mind. There were moments when the leaders would hug, or walk arm-in-arm down the corridors of the MASSIVE, both signs of close friendship. But for some reason, over the past two months, Purple had felt a little twinging in his chest whenever the two touched.
"What is going on..." he would say to himself. "Why do I feel this... tingly?"
It was such a familiar sensation, and it felt so right, but he couldn't place it exactly. It reminded him of his days during his childhood when...
"When I had..."
when he had...
"A crush."
Was that it? Did he have feelings for his partner? Did he have a crush on Almighty Tallest Red!?
Of course not.
That was silly.
Galactial leaders had no time for silly things like love.
And yet, the thought was ever present in Purple's mind, when he got up, as he ate, as he talked, as he read, and as he slept... Red was there, ever remaining in his thoughts.
That kept on until one day, when Purple was fed up with the concept. "I do NOT like Red!" He declared to no one at all.
Say what you want, my dear lavander leader.
For the truth was...
Purple DID like Red.
He was falling for him
falling HARD.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~
=FOUR WEEKS LATER=
"Ah, Purple, there you are," spoke a smooth, deep voice.
Purple turned around quickly, almost dropping the cup of coffee he was holding. "Oh, R-r-red! How n-nice of you to come see me."
Red looked around the cafeteria, noticing that the two leaders were alone. "I had a feeling you'd be here. You always get your morning coffee when no one is around."
"I like the silence," he said, taking a sip.
"Too bad," Red replied, "because you're bunking in my quarters tonight."
Purple's instant reaction was to spit and choke on his coffee. After a wild coughing fit, he grabbed a napkin and wiped at his mouth, mopping up the brown liquid. "W-what did you say?"
"The ship inspectors found some faulty pipework near your quartering facility. There's a small crack in the wall, and if it gets any bigger, you'll have engine exhaust stinking up your room. Not pleasant..." Red added, walking over to a mini refrigerator to get a soda. "Tonight would be the best and soonest time for the repair crew to fix your wall and the pipe, since we'll be landing overnight on Planet Zooge. In the meantime, you'll have to bunk somewhere else. And I figured," he said, slipping an arm over Purple's shoulder, "Why not just bunk with me? Good friend gotta stick together, right?"
Purple felt the heat rising in his cheeks as Red's arm slithered across his upper body. "Right..." he said softly.
"ANYway..." Red started to head for the door, "I'll give you a moment to figure out what you want to to bring with you, and when you decide, you can just drop the stuff off in my room. Oh, and don't forget, we have an assembly in an hour. See you later."
Purple watched intently as his crush left the room, but his gaze soon focuzed mainly on the wall. Everything began to grow blurry; he was so lost in a daze he did not dare blink. "Red wants to bunk with me... does this mean... could it be..."
He wasn't sure. But he was hopeful.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~
"All personnel on deck."
"Tower, this is MASSIVE unit #34. Requesting permission to land."
"Permissions granted."
(Steady as she goes,) Purple thought to himself. The landing on Zooge went smoothly, and within moments the main engine was off, and the MASSIVE began shutdown preparation for the night.
Purple spent a moment talking with the crew that would be working on the pipe repairs, then packed his 'suitcase' and walked down the hall into Red's sleeping quarters.
"It's about time you got here..." Red grinned. "It's late!"
"Huh?" Purple frowned. "Red, it's only 10 o'clock."
"Oh... so it is." The crimson Irken laughed lightly to himself. "I just feel so tired..."
"It's been a big day..." Purple said softly.
"Right. Does this mean your ready to go to bed, too?"
A grin from the violet-eyed figure. "Yeah." He walked to a green leather couch that was positioned in the middle of the room. "See you in the morning."
"Purple..." Red said with some concern, "I'm not going to have you sleep on the couch."
"...What?"
"Zooge is very cold during this time of its rotation, and sleeping on a leather sofa won't help you. My bed is big enough for both of us."
Purple swallowed. "The... bed?"
"Well yeah! Why not? It's a lot softer than the sofa, and the blankets will keep you warm."
(You will, too.) "The MASSIVE has heating, doesn't it?"
"Yes, but with the engine off, it won't be as powerful." Red walked into his washroom. "Change into your night clothes, and I'll be right out."
Purple's breathing began to get heavy. Was this all a dream? He knew that Red felt close to him, but willing to sleep in the same bed? It just seemed too unreal.
As he undressed, a gust of cold air hit his back, and he felt something warm caress him. Gentle fingers rub up and down his arms, a smooth chest against his backside, and a voice whispering into his ear.
Red...
Purple shook his head. It was all an illusion. This was the first time he had envisioned an erotic fantasy between him and Red.
"Please tell me this is NOT happening..." he whispered to himself.
It had taken him enough time to accept the fact that he had a crush on his friend. But the more he kept it bottled inside, the stronger his feelings got. But he refused to admit it was love. No, it was not love. It could never be love.
"All set?" Red emerged from his washroom, his face freshly powdered from his cleansing chalk. "You can have a turn in there if you like."
"Uh.. n-no, I'm all set." Purple slid underneath the covers.
"Good." Red flipped down the sheets to his side of his crimson bed and flicked off the light switch.
/Turn down the lights,
Turn down the bed,
Turn down these voices
Inside my head./
As the two began to settle into a compfortable sleeping postion, clouds began to roll overhead. What Red had forgot to mention before was not only was Zooge cold during this time of rotation, but there were also many frequent --and strong-- thunderstorms. And Purple was deathly afraid of thunderstorms, a secret that only his crimson partner knew about.
So of course when the grayish clouds began to fight high above the landing dock, Purple couldn't help but feel an eensy bit frightened. Red sensed the distress and opened his eyes, sitting up to look at his partnet the best he coudl in the dark.
"Purple, you okay?"
"Um..."
"That's right... you don't like thunderstorms very much, do you?"
Purple shook his head, even though Red probably did not see it. "No..."
Red grinned and laughed playfully. "Don't worry; I'll keep you safe." He pulled Purple to him. "There. Don't be scared."
/Lay down with me,
Tell me no lies.
Just hold me close,
Don't patronize - don't patronize me/
A flash of lightning lit up the room as clear as day. Purple jumped about 6 feet off the bed and whimpered. "I feel so ashamed... I can face an army of a thousand slaughtering rat people, but I can't handle a simple thunderstorm."
"Ah, that's okay," Red reassured. "All of us have silly fears. For example, I'm afraid of the snack machine being empty, and you don't hold that against me, do you?"
"Not at all."
"Okay then."
Purple sighed against Red's semi-bare chest. The shirt to his sleep clothes were half-open, exposing his smooth green skin. Purple longed to do more than simply rest there, but he was too scared to make a move. Red was always better at that sort of thing, anyway.
/Cause I can't make you love me
If you don't
You can't make your heart feel
Something it won't/
(Does he like me back, or am I just making up another fantasy for myself?) "Oh Red..." the violet-eyed Irken spoke in a soft, sensual tone. "Thank you for being there for me." He glanced up expectantly, nuzzling his face into Red's neck.
Red looked down, but he did not move forward. "What are friends for?"
(Friends...)
They were friends.
Nothing more.
That's when Purple realized that he WAS in love.
And THAT hurt.
/Here in the dark,
In these lonely hours
I will lay down my heart
And I'll feel the power/
Purple sighed and drew back from Red's embrace. He has to stop putting himself in these visions. All he was doing was setting himself up for a big dissapointment, and he knew it, but he could not quit. The only way to end it was to fess all.
Red, once again, was able to detect the distress in his friend. "Purple, is everything okay?"
"No..."
/But you won't, no you won't/
"You know you can talk to me about anything."
/'Cause I can't make you love me, if you don't./
"Red..." he started, "I've decided to change my life. I'm going to make a more positive outlook on things."
"Oh, Pur, that's great!" He scooped him up in a hug. "Tell me about it."
Purple winced.
/I'll close my eyes,
Then I won't see
The love you don't feel
When you're holding me/
He pulled away again and looked Red directly in the eye, not paying any mind to the storm outside, because he was so focued on the storm INside. "I'm going to stop mixing up fantasy with reality. I'm going to stop placing myself into fictional situations just so I can feel better inside, because all it does is set me up for future pain."
Red was curious. "Like what do you mean?"
Purple took a deep, shaky breath. "I'm going to accept that you're never going to like me more than a friend."
/Morning will come
And I'll do what's right
Just give me till then
To give up this fight/
Red stared in shock. He made hand motions, as if he wanted to talk, but couldn't find the words.
"It's okay," Purple started. "You don't have to sa---"
"J-just give me a minute to process this." Red held his head. "Oh Pur... you know how much I care about you, but...
"I know..."
"I don't want to jeopardize our friendship."
Purple glanced away in shame. "I don't want that either."
"I..." Red was speechless.
Purple shook his head. "No... it's time for me to let go..."
/And I will give up this fight!/
Red watched his friend get up. "Where are you going?"
"I'm going into the guest quarters. I... I can't stay the night here. Not anymore. Not knowing..."
Red stood. Again, the crimson leader was at a loss for words. "Purple!"
A pause. "Yes?"
"...I'm sorry."
/Cause I can't make you love me
If you don't
You can't make your heart feel
Something it won't/
Purple gave a sad smile. "It's okay. It's not your fault... it be me own. I was foolish enough to think that maybe what we had was... a little more than friendship. I didn't really expcet it to be. I hoped it would be, but I didn't expect it."
//Here in the dark,
In these lonely hours
I will lay down my heart
And I'll feel the power/
"Why didn't you tell me sooner?"
"I was scared."
"Scared? Oh, Pur..."
Purple held a hand out to stop Red from moving closer. "We'll talk later."
"Ok."
/But you won't, no you won't/
Red reached over and gave his partner a hug. Purple tried not to enjoy it too much. "Goodnight, my friend."
/'Cause I can't make you love me.../
Purple sighed.
"Goodnight... friend."
/If you don't.../