A/N: I wrote this with Snowbear (that's her ff.net name) so go read some of her stories, and ignore that Snowbear and Castor account, we decided not to do that.
Rosethorn sat in her workroom staring at the wall. Why was it you didn't realize how much you really truly liked someone until they died or went away?
It'd been so sudden, no one had been expecting it, he was among the great plant mages, and no one believed that he'd die let alone get hurt while doing experiments with his plants.
Thinking about him again tears began streaming, she tried to do some work, but her heart, mind and soul would not let her. No one close to her had ever died, when she was little her grandparents had, but that was normal, they had died of old age. For Crane to die though, for him to leave her life like this so suddenly, was just not right.
She didn't know if she loved him, they'd always had friendly arguments that old rivals most always have. She'd sort of come to enjoy these arguments. In the beginning they really had hated each other and argued for real, but as time came by they grew used to each other and she supposed they were even friends, yet they would continue to argue for the sake of it. He was hard to get along with, very hard to tolerate. He was too proud, to sure of himself, Rosethorn had always hated that about him.
She supposed they continued arguing so much because it came natural to them, she had a sharp tongue and a temper, her glare alone was enough the scare most people away. Crane was proud, and believed himself better than some people at times, he always had to be correct, and his idea was always according to him, most probably right. It was easy for them both to find something to argue about, nowadays it almost seemed, that she liked arguing with him, it seemed almost normal like just having a normal conversation.
But now he was dead, they'd never argue again, never speak to each other, never even see each other. Tears streamed down her face falling on the open book she hadn't even started to read. She closed it and walked out of her workroom and into her bedroom.
She only partly acknowledged Lark sitting on the sofa watching as she went into her room.
Rosethorn lay down on her bed and cried, this bed that she'd died in, and come back in. If she felt this horrible when he had died, how would have Lark, Briar, Tris, Sandry, Daja and all those other people have felt. Right then she was very glad she hadn't died. She wouldn't want to be the cause of a whole bunch suffering.
Her tears slowed a bit and her thoughts trailed to that time when Crane had first looked at her in that way that said I think I love you. She supposed that's when he had first starting loving her. Crane really did love her; those two kisses hadn't just been nothing, and now thinking about it she realized she loved him back.
***
There was a knock on her door. Rosethorn jerked out of sleep, she'd been dreaming of the time when she had been sick with the blue pox. Crane had come a visited her. She had told him to go away but he stayed a moment longer before leaving. She remembered that in that moment she'd felt something. That was when Crane probably started loving her.
Lark peered in, "Feeling all right? Anything I can get you?" she asked. Rosethorn could see Lark had been crying a bit too, not as much as she had though.
"No," she said softly and sat up in her bed, "It's just, I never, realized, how much he meant to me."
Lark came and sat down next to her, "With time, Rosie, with time."
"I just miss him so much," Rosethorn said feeling a tear trickle down her cheek.
"You loved him, didn't you?" Lark asked.
"He loved me first," Rosethorn told her friend.
"I made some tea, it's on the stove, I'll go get some," Lark stood to leave.
"Thank-you but I don't want any," Rosethorn told Lark's retreating back.
Lark came back in holding a cup with lightly steaming tea, she sat down again next to Rosethorn and handed her the cup, "Here, drink."
Rosethorn took a sip, it was the tea Lark called Sleepy Time Tea. Lark had put just the right milk and sugar in it. Though it was called Sleepy Time it didn't have sleepy effects.
She finished her tea then stood up, "I think I'll go do some gardening."
"Good idea, it will help calm you," Lark said as Rosethorn left.
***
Briar strode triumphantly into the room they were all meeting in. Tris was sitting on the bed reading. He looked at the title. It read, he couldn't read the title, it was too old.
"What have you been reading this past week?" Briar demanded, sitting down next to his friend.
"Old scriptures and stories of Winding Circle, its really quite interesting," Tris said and stuck her nose back in it.
"Absolutely fascinating," Briar rolled his eyes.
"You're so rude, Briar, did anyone ever tell you that?" Tris asked and put her book down.
"Down to business?" Sandry wondered.
"Good idea," Daja spoke up.
"I think this proves it," Briar announced, "I mean look at how unhappy Rosethorn is…"
"Maybe they were just really good friends. I mean, I cried a little bit when I heard that he had died," Sandry said.
"Well, I guess we'll never truly know," Daja said and stood up, brushing off herself off.
"Well, personally, I'd say good riddance," Briar said.
Tris nudged him. He looked up. Rosethorn was standing in the doorway.
Her eyes were burning with anger and her hands were clenched as if she was trying to stop herself from wrapping them around Briar's neck. She strode off.
"Honestly Briar. You have no respect for the dead," Sandry scolded him.
"Did you see the look in her eyes?" Tris asked, "That was scary…"
***
Rosethorn tore up a weed as if it was its entire fault. Briar! He could be a little bit rude sometimes, a little bit careless, but this was going just to far! He needed a punishment. Maybe she could carry out her old threat and hang him in the well. Yes, that would do nicely. Seeing another blue flower with red thorns, still unnamed, she tore it up.
This was that stupid flower's entire fault! If they had never found the flower, Crane never would have done experiments on it, and therefore never have died! Then again, there was no proof that the flower itself had done anything.
Oh God, he was really gone wasn't he? Rosethorn felt tears trickling down her cheeks again. Those stupid tears! Why did they keep coming back? A little dandelion reached up and curled itself around her fingers. Was their relationship just not meant to be? Was that why he died?
Life just wasn't possible without Crane; for a fleeting moment her mind went to the knife in her workroom. No! She thought, she would NOT commit suicide and cause Lark, Briar, and the girls the pain and suffering that Crane's death was causing her.
There just had to be some way, he just couldn't be dead; it wasn't possible. Not when she was just starting to realize and accept her love for him.