Chapter 2
Lex Luthor did not react when he heard the loud shattering of the glass and the dull thunk of the napkin dispenser as it landed not far from him. The fact that his private office door had just been suddenly smashed by a dangerous metal obtrusion, landing a mere 5 inches from his head didn't phase Lex at all. There was not much in the world at present that could bother Lex Luthor in his current state of mind. He was completely at ease with life.
The calm that coursed through Lex's veins was awesome. Every muscle in his body was absolutely relaxed. Nothing about him was tense right now. Even his brain, for once, was content, pausing for the moment from its constant planning and weighty decision making to dwell on nothing. The powerful drug had removed all negativity from his emotion options. Lex Luthor was unable to feel bad right now.
Of course that didn't keep out the memory of sadness. Lex could easily recall the night before when his father had told him that he had to tear down the Talon. Although the idea of having to tell Lana that the coffee shop was to once again be turned into a parking lot had been agonizing. The look of disappointment that he predicted from Clark's face when he told him that he was tearing down Lana's dream was something that Lex could not stand to go through. Clark was too important to him.
Lex could not bear the idea of disappointing Clark. The thought was just too awful to contemplate. Clark was his best and possibly only friend in Smallville. Perhaps in all the world. Lex did not know what he would do if he were to lose that.
When his father had confronted him about his local business ventures, accusing Clark and Lana of using him, Lex had been angry but even deeper down Lex had been hurt. Lex had been hurt, not just because he was afraid those accusations might be true but because of the look on his father's face when he told him. The look that shone in the powerful man's fiery eyes was pure joy.
It made Lex sick to know that his father hated him so much that he actually took pleasure in hurting his feelings. After twenty-one years of being bred to feel nothing he wondered how he could still feel anything at all. Lional blamed his mother for that. Lex thanked her everyday in silent prayer for the fact that her genes kept him from being completely like his father.
None of that mattered right now though. Right now was bliss. Lex felt like he was floating on a cloud. All his problems at the moment were distant, like he was untouchable. Lying on the thick plush cushions of his Gucci couch Lex is unable to comprehend sadness. He can remember the pain that lead up to this minute but all that seemed unreal now, like he is detached from the world that he once found so important and challenging.
Lex Luthor was under the impression that nothing could bother him right now. He would have bet money on it but had he done so he would have definitely lost that bet. The all too familiar voice of his father suddenly jolted him back to reality. It was a cold and heartless place that he was not up to facing right now. Lex Luthor could feel his father's hand on his face, and groaning he turned his body away from him.
Upon hearing Lionel say his name Lex used all his strength to swat his father away. He had meant to say 'get the fuck away from me', but all that had come out was "Fuck". Despite his best efforts to ward his father off, Lionel stayed and persisted to get Lex to move.
He couldn't handle this right now. He felt like something heavy was being pressed on top of him and all he wanted was to be alone. Tucking his knees up to his chest and folding his arms over his head, Lex attempted to ignore Lionel's attempts at coercion.
He could feel his father still talking but Lex did not want to be around the man. Lionel Luthor made his son feel like shit. He was tired of all the put downs and the not good enoughs. Lex couldn't stand it any longer. He was tired of being confronted with his failures. He was tired of putting up facades and pretending things that were not true. He needed to get away from all that. Heroin was the prefect escape.
Lex knew that as far as Lionel was concerned he would never measure up but that didn't keep him from trying. He knew that mere achievement would not be enough to please his father. To gain Lionel's respect Lex would have to go above and beyond the call of duty. He would have to dominate anything that came into his path, crushing his opponents by any means possible, no matter how brutal. The most agonizing fact was that in order for him to win his fathers love and respect he would have to defeat him at his own game. It was a dangerous and arduous task but Lex had the right motivation. Hate.
"Lex you need to see a doctor. You're sick. Let me help you."
Lex felt his body begin to tense up ever so slightly. He didn't want this to be happening right now, but it seemed that there was nothing he could do about it. He wanted to scream, to make his father go far, far away. He did not want Lionel to see him in such a weakened condition. What the hell was he doing in the Talon anyway? Lionel never came here.
Lex knew that he was a failure to his father. Nothing but a terrible mistake he had made twenty-one years ago. He wished there was something he could do about that but Lex had learned a long time ago that in life there was no such thing as easy solutions. He knew that there was a very special destiny out there, waiting for him. He knew that he had a future of greatness in store for him and that he was the one in charge of his own fate. Sadly he also knew that it would be a fate forever intertwined with the works of his father. Lex had tried to rebel from all that, but his rebellion had only made him more like Lionel then ever.
"We are leaving now Lex." The intruding voice is harsh and commanding.
Lex can't stand being under his father's brutal scrutiny right now so he said the first thing that comes to his mind. "No. I can't."
"Why not?" The lack of concern in Lionel's tone is gut-wrenchingly unmistakable.
For the first time in a long time, Lex decides that maybe the truth is the best course of action. Maybe if he tells Lionel the truth he will finally leave him alone. "I failed you. I am not good enough. Just let me die."
The heroin in his system fights off the horrible feelings he is having causing him to laugh. He is not amused so the laugh sounds false, shifting into a low groan, that reveals his true feelings. Lex just wants to be left alone. Right now he just wants to be happy.
"That's not true." Lionel replies. His voice sounds low and horse, compassionate.
Lex blinks in surprise, wondering if he had just heard Lionel correctly. Tiny liquid droplets splash against his face, confusing him. For a second he thinks maybe he is crying but quickly realizes that he is not. Opening his eyes he is easily able to discern the source of the wetness on his face as he watches the tears slip from his father's eyes. At the sight Lex feels sudden grief that is quickly replaced by happiness. Lex is unable to control the smile that suddenly spreads across his face, joined by a warm feeling that burns through out his body. For a second Lex allows himself to savor this moment. His father has actually admitted that he does not think he is a failure.
Lex is stunned. His mind is reeling. He is barely aware of the fact that his father is at his side, unrolling his sleeves, covering the tiny entrance holes in his arms. Lex remembers putting those holes there, remembers the all consuming grief that had enveloped his mind and body before the puncture. Even the greatest minds falter. Even the strongest men fall. By the time Lex had got to the Talon it was very late at night. He didn't want to go home. He couldn't visit Clark. Meteropolis was too far away. He was alone. He had no one.
Lex had tried to talk himself out of it. He didn't want to be an addict, but the pain was there. Finally he had convinced himself that it would be a one time thing. His final hit, a temporary weakness. If he wasn't so content right now he might have regretted his action, and he still might later, but right now he was unable to regret.
Lex watches silently with undisguised interest as Lionel put away his needle and hides his stash in his briefcase. He feels a strange tinge of appreciation at the way that Lionel is treating him right now. It had been a very, very long time since someone has taken care of him. Ever since his mother died and his nanny was sent away.
Lex's happiness and gratitude slowly vanish as the seconds tick by, quickly being replaced by distrust. Why is his father being so suddenly nice? Deciding that it must be some kind of trick or test Lex wonders if he is passing. Probally not he assumes.
Lex becomes immediately suspicious as he feels his fathers strong arms encircle his lean body, lifting him carefully up off the couch. Slowly, he begins to struggle for control of his body. He does not want to be carried. He could walk if he wanted to, he just does not feel like it. He just sees this as another way that Lionel is trying to control him.
"Alexander, You need to come with me now. Stop fighting me and trust me. I love you."
Lex stops moving, having suddenly lost the ability to function on all but the very basic of levels. The last three words spoken echo in his mind and the young man is left wondering if he has gone insane. The emotions that well up in his body are overwhelming. He feels as if his heart has just burst open, spilling all kinds of unwanted emotions through out himself. Joy and despair fight for control of his brain but Lex is in too much shock to care. He does not even notice the tears darting down his face or the hammering of his heart as he relaxed against his father's body.
For the first time in his life, that he can remember, Lex allows himself to trust Lionel Luthor. Slowly he feels himself being taken from his office. He is unable to recognize any of the faces as he is carried through the crowd. Everyone seems blurry and unimportant, everyone but his father. Tears still mark his face but it's the smile that plays at the corner of his lips that seems to be attracting all the attention. Lex ignores the looks. Right now he doesn't care. Nothing can bother him.
As the front door to the Talon opens Lex finds himself suddenly overwhelmed by the brightness of the day. His eyes automatically contract a piercing pain shooting through them. Squeezing his eyes shut Lex blocks out the uninviting rays.
Pressing his head into his father's chest to avoid the stinging sun Lex allows himself to be placed into the back seat of the awaiting limousine. Lex leans against the seat as the long sleek vehicle begins to pull away from the much-disputed coffee shop; a content smile and dreamy look overwhelm his features. As temporary as it seems Lex wonders if maybe things will be different for him in the future. Maybe his father will be less malicious in his actions towards his him, less competitive. Maybe Lionel Luthor will be a father instead of an enemy. Maybe.
Lex Luthor did not react when he heard the loud shattering of the glass and the dull thunk of the napkin dispenser as it landed not far from him. The fact that his private office door had just been suddenly smashed by a dangerous metal obtrusion, landing a mere 5 inches from his head didn't phase Lex at all. There was not much in the world at present that could bother Lex Luthor in his current state of mind. He was completely at ease with life.
The calm that coursed through Lex's veins was awesome. Every muscle in his body was absolutely relaxed. Nothing about him was tense right now. Even his brain, for once, was content, pausing for the moment from its constant planning and weighty decision making to dwell on nothing. The powerful drug had removed all negativity from his emotion options. Lex Luthor was unable to feel bad right now.
Of course that didn't keep out the memory of sadness. Lex could easily recall the night before when his father had told him that he had to tear down the Talon. Although the idea of having to tell Lana that the coffee shop was to once again be turned into a parking lot had been agonizing. The look of disappointment that he predicted from Clark's face when he told him that he was tearing down Lana's dream was something that Lex could not stand to go through. Clark was too important to him.
Lex could not bear the idea of disappointing Clark. The thought was just too awful to contemplate. Clark was his best and possibly only friend in Smallville. Perhaps in all the world. Lex did not know what he would do if he were to lose that.
When his father had confronted him about his local business ventures, accusing Clark and Lana of using him, Lex had been angry but even deeper down Lex had been hurt. Lex had been hurt, not just because he was afraid those accusations might be true but because of the look on his father's face when he told him. The look that shone in the powerful man's fiery eyes was pure joy.
It made Lex sick to know that his father hated him so much that he actually took pleasure in hurting his feelings. After twenty-one years of being bred to feel nothing he wondered how he could still feel anything at all. Lional blamed his mother for that. Lex thanked her everyday in silent prayer for the fact that her genes kept him from being completely like his father.
None of that mattered right now though. Right now was bliss. Lex felt like he was floating on a cloud. All his problems at the moment were distant, like he was untouchable. Lying on the thick plush cushions of his Gucci couch Lex is unable to comprehend sadness. He can remember the pain that lead up to this minute but all that seemed unreal now, like he is detached from the world that he once found so important and challenging.
Lex Luthor was under the impression that nothing could bother him right now. He would have bet money on it but had he done so he would have definitely lost that bet. The all too familiar voice of his father suddenly jolted him back to reality. It was a cold and heartless place that he was not up to facing right now. Lex Luthor could feel his father's hand on his face, and groaning he turned his body away from him.
Upon hearing Lionel say his name Lex used all his strength to swat his father away. He had meant to say 'get the fuck away from me', but all that had come out was "Fuck". Despite his best efforts to ward his father off, Lionel stayed and persisted to get Lex to move.
He couldn't handle this right now. He felt like something heavy was being pressed on top of him and all he wanted was to be alone. Tucking his knees up to his chest and folding his arms over his head, Lex attempted to ignore Lionel's attempts at coercion.
He could feel his father still talking but Lex did not want to be around the man. Lionel Luthor made his son feel like shit. He was tired of all the put downs and the not good enoughs. Lex couldn't stand it any longer. He was tired of being confronted with his failures. He was tired of putting up facades and pretending things that were not true. He needed to get away from all that. Heroin was the prefect escape.
Lex knew that as far as Lionel was concerned he would never measure up but that didn't keep him from trying. He knew that mere achievement would not be enough to please his father. To gain Lionel's respect Lex would have to go above and beyond the call of duty. He would have to dominate anything that came into his path, crushing his opponents by any means possible, no matter how brutal. The most agonizing fact was that in order for him to win his fathers love and respect he would have to defeat him at his own game. It was a dangerous and arduous task but Lex had the right motivation. Hate.
"Lex you need to see a doctor. You're sick. Let me help you."
Lex felt his body begin to tense up ever so slightly. He didn't want this to be happening right now, but it seemed that there was nothing he could do about it. He wanted to scream, to make his father go far, far away. He did not want Lionel to see him in such a weakened condition. What the hell was he doing in the Talon anyway? Lionel never came here.
Lex knew that he was a failure to his father. Nothing but a terrible mistake he had made twenty-one years ago. He wished there was something he could do about that but Lex had learned a long time ago that in life there was no such thing as easy solutions. He knew that there was a very special destiny out there, waiting for him. He knew that he had a future of greatness in store for him and that he was the one in charge of his own fate. Sadly he also knew that it would be a fate forever intertwined with the works of his father. Lex had tried to rebel from all that, but his rebellion had only made him more like Lionel then ever.
"We are leaving now Lex." The intruding voice is harsh and commanding.
Lex can't stand being under his father's brutal scrutiny right now so he said the first thing that comes to his mind. "No. I can't."
"Why not?" The lack of concern in Lionel's tone is gut-wrenchingly unmistakable.
For the first time in a long time, Lex decides that maybe the truth is the best course of action. Maybe if he tells Lionel the truth he will finally leave him alone. "I failed you. I am not good enough. Just let me die."
The heroin in his system fights off the horrible feelings he is having causing him to laugh. He is not amused so the laugh sounds false, shifting into a low groan, that reveals his true feelings. Lex just wants to be left alone. Right now he just wants to be happy.
"That's not true." Lionel replies. His voice sounds low and horse, compassionate.
Lex blinks in surprise, wondering if he had just heard Lionel correctly. Tiny liquid droplets splash against his face, confusing him. For a second he thinks maybe he is crying but quickly realizes that he is not. Opening his eyes he is easily able to discern the source of the wetness on his face as he watches the tears slip from his father's eyes. At the sight Lex feels sudden grief that is quickly replaced by happiness. Lex is unable to control the smile that suddenly spreads across his face, joined by a warm feeling that burns through out his body. For a second Lex allows himself to savor this moment. His father has actually admitted that he does not think he is a failure.
Lex is stunned. His mind is reeling. He is barely aware of the fact that his father is at his side, unrolling his sleeves, covering the tiny entrance holes in his arms. Lex remembers putting those holes there, remembers the all consuming grief that had enveloped his mind and body before the puncture. Even the greatest minds falter. Even the strongest men fall. By the time Lex had got to the Talon it was very late at night. He didn't want to go home. He couldn't visit Clark. Meteropolis was too far away. He was alone. He had no one.
Lex had tried to talk himself out of it. He didn't want to be an addict, but the pain was there. Finally he had convinced himself that it would be a one time thing. His final hit, a temporary weakness. If he wasn't so content right now he might have regretted his action, and he still might later, but right now he was unable to regret.
Lex watches silently with undisguised interest as Lionel put away his needle and hides his stash in his briefcase. He feels a strange tinge of appreciation at the way that Lionel is treating him right now. It had been a very, very long time since someone has taken care of him. Ever since his mother died and his nanny was sent away.
Lex's happiness and gratitude slowly vanish as the seconds tick by, quickly being replaced by distrust. Why is his father being so suddenly nice? Deciding that it must be some kind of trick or test Lex wonders if he is passing. Probally not he assumes.
Lex becomes immediately suspicious as he feels his fathers strong arms encircle his lean body, lifting him carefully up off the couch. Slowly, he begins to struggle for control of his body. He does not want to be carried. He could walk if he wanted to, he just does not feel like it. He just sees this as another way that Lionel is trying to control him.
"Alexander, You need to come with me now. Stop fighting me and trust me. I love you."
Lex stops moving, having suddenly lost the ability to function on all but the very basic of levels. The last three words spoken echo in his mind and the young man is left wondering if he has gone insane. The emotions that well up in his body are overwhelming. He feels as if his heart has just burst open, spilling all kinds of unwanted emotions through out himself. Joy and despair fight for control of his brain but Lex is in too much shock to care. He does not even notice the tears darting down his face or the hammering of his heart as he relaxed against his father's body.
For the first time in his life, that he can remember, Lex allows himself to trust Lionel Luthor. Slowly he feels himself being taken from his office. He is unable to recognize any of the faces as he is carried through the crowd. Everyone seems blurry and unimportant, everyone but his father. Tears still mark his face but it's the smile that plays at the corner of his lips that seems to be attracting all the attention. Lex ignores the looks. Right now he doesn't care. Nothing can bother him.
As the front door to the Talon opens Lex finds himself suddenly overwhelmed by the brightness of the day. His eyes automatically contract a piercing pain shooting through them. Squeezing his eyes shut Lex blocks out the uninviting rays.
Pressing his head into his father's chest to avoid the stinging sun Lex allows himself to be placed into the back seat of the awaiting limousine. Lex leans against the seat as the long sleek vehicle begins to pull away from the much-disputed coffee shop; a content smile and dreamy look overwhelm his features. As temporary as it seems Lex wonders if maybe things will be different for him in the future. Maybe his father will be less malicious in his actions towards his him, less competitive. Maybe Lionel Luthor will be a father instead of an enemy. Maybe.