The Pro-Joey Story

By Lady of the Wolves

((WARNING: DON'T READ THIS IF YOU LIKE JOEY!))

Domino High School decided to hold a raffle to raise money for a new gym. Being so concerned for his fellow students, Joey Wheeler, good friend of Yugi, bought a ticket and found out a week later that he had won. His prize was a vacation to a tropical isle. As the trip was for four people, Joey invited his friend Yugi along with his other friends Tristan Taylor and Té a Gardner. Soon after they arrived on the beautiful island, they decided to go for a walk. The four friends were walking along the base of a mountain when a deep rumble filled the air. The mountain, which was really a volcano, suddenly erupted, throwing lava high into the air. Yugi, Tristan, Té a, and Joey quickly ran away as fast as they could from the volcano, but Joey tripped and was instantly covered by the scorching lava.

That's not right, this is titled "The Pro-Joey Story." That was definitely not Pro-Joey. Here, I'll take another whack at it.

After a hard day of playing Duel Monsters, Joey Wheeler had really worked up a sweat. Leaving his friends, he was walking home when he decided to go for a nice swim. It'll really cool me off, he thought to himself as he changed into his bathing suit. He quickly grabbed his towel and walked to the beach, which was only a few blocks from his home. He had just dived into the ocean and was paddling around on his back when a Great White Shark appeared out of nowhere and bit off his leg. The shark quickly devoured Joey, who didn't even have time to scream for help, and went off to find anther meal.

I did it wrong again! Hold on, this time I'll get it right. Maybe I should get away from this beach-island thing that's going on…

It was late one night when Joey Wheeler woke up to hear something making a sound outside his house. He thought it was a kitten mewing, so he got dressed and went outside to see what was making the noise. Joey looked around, using his flashlight to illuminate the dark yard, and soon found a small black-and-white kitten. He was going over to pick it up when he heard a loud whistling. Looking up, he saw a meteorite fly through the sky and crash into his head, where it exploded, blasting Joey into a thousand bits.

Don't worry, I'm sure I'll get it right this time! I just know it! Because…if you believe in yourself, you can do anything! (I sound like Yugi or Té a giving an encouragement speech!) Okay! Here I go!

Strong, brave, smart, and handsome Joey Wheeler was walking to school with his friend Yugi when an out-of-control garbage truck hurtled onto the road just behind them. He quickly dived across the street to push Yugi out of harm's way. Just when the truck was about to hit him, it swerved again and missed. He got up and grinned when suddenly the truck flipped over, spilling two tons of smelly garbage all over him, instantly crushing him to death.

Arg! This is impossible! But I'll have another go. I know I can do it!

Joey Wheeler and his three closest friends went to a fast food restaurant for lunch. They received their food and sat down to eat. Joey had his favorite food, a double cheeseburger with lots of onions and pickles. He took a big bite and instantly choked on a tomato.

I refuse to give up just yet…wait, I have another idea! This will be a PRO-Joey one, I know it!

Joey Wheeler was at a party drinking punch. Several pretty girls had smiled at him and he was feeling great. He was about to go ask the blonde across the room if she wanted to dance with him when he woke up from what was obviously a dream and rolled out of bed, impaling himself on a sword he had left propped up by his bed.

No, no…but let me give it another shot, okay? Please? Just one more chance! Okay great!

It was a beautiful Saturday and friends Joey Wheeler, Tristan Taylor, and Té a Gardner were going to the park for a picnic. (Their friend Yugi was at the dentist.) They found a nice shady spot beneath a large tree and were watching people play and throw Frisbees. Joey got up to use the bathroom and was returning when he heard a loud buzz behind him. When he turned, he saw a large model airplane heading straight toward him! With a piercing scream, he quickly ducked to the ground and saw the airplane fly straight through the spot he had just occupied. As he got up, the airplane turned around and headed straight for him again! He took off in the opposite direction, the airplane still following. The sharp metal blades of its front propeller whirred threateningly. The plane chased him all through the park before chasing him right off a cliff. Joey screamed for a long time before he smashed into the sharp rocks far below.

Fine. I just can't do it. Maybe I'll go write something else…if you really want something where Joey looks good, I suggest you look elsewhere.

Thank you very much. Please review! With no flames, that is: I warned you!