Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction. The names of the characters have not been changed to protect the innocent, because there are no innocents. If you try any of this at home, you're a sick, sadistic bastard, and need to be put down. Now on with the fun!
Ranma the Homicidal Maniac!
Chapter 3: Dude Looks Like a Lady!
As we left our heroes, Ranma's newly dubbed "Soul of liquid nitrogen" technique was just created! Today we shall see the side effects!
***
Genma was afraid. Not a new thing, mind you, but the reason was definitely different.
Being the only coherent person present to have see the death of one arrogant phoenix demi-god from China, he was the only person with the ability to explain the sudden cold.
He would have, too, but for the sudden fact that he was about twenty miles away.
You see, it's a little known fact: Genma is not stupid. Now, I'm sure you're scratching your head and wondering about my sanity now, but don't worry, I'm still sane. Mostly.
Now as I was saying, Genma is not stupid. He simply likes ACTING like he is. You want proof? Crouch of the Wild Tiger. Umisenken. Yamasenken. 'Nuff said. You see, he raised Ranma, so he knows about his son's insane learning abilities. Mainly because he taught them to the boy.
So, being a witness of Saffron's death, he knew that the boy picked up on the Gekkaja's secret.
Which leads back to the reason for his running.
***
To say Ranma was angry would be an understatement. So would saying that he was in a murderous rage, really. Actually, there aren't words in this, or any other language, to describe his fury.
***
"Now why did Saotome run off?" Soun wondered.
Nabiki looked at Ranma, and followed Genma's example.
***
He was just THAT mad.
***
"Nabiki? I wonder what's wrong with her?" Soun puzzled.
Kasumi looked back, and the runners got another companion.
***
Which was understandable, really.
***
"Kasumi?" Soun was amazed. He'd never seen Kasumi run that fast.
Ryoga noticed something was amiss, so he looked back as well, and decided it was high time he took a nice, brisk run.
***
Ranma wasn't exactly angry that his other fiancées were the killers. He could deal with that.
***
"What's going on here?" Soun exclaimed, as he looked back, as well.
Nerima was treated to an incredible sight that day. 3 martial artists and 2 average citizens running at about 100 km/h, with no explosions chasing after them.
***
No, Ranma was angry because they showed no remorse!
***
The cries of "Ranchan," "Airen," and "Ranma-sama," were quickly replaced by cries of "Get your hands off of him, you hussy/peasant/bitch," which were themselves replaced by stares at a certain glowering amazon.
Now I'm sure, gentle readers, that you've realized that the fiancée brigade was firmly latched onto our favorite pigtailed martial artist. I'm also sure that you can realize the adverse effect this had on said martial artist.
I also believe you can realize that latching onto Ranma does not have the desired effect, which is being dragged to his room and fucked raw.
None of them expected what happened next.
Which is why cries of "What the hell?" were heard by the 3 flying figures after the dojo exploded, instead of the expected "ouch."
***
Ranma stood panting in the middle of the crater formerly known as the Tendo Dojo, with his arms hanging loosely at his sides, and gasped, "that, was a bad idea."
He fell down from exhaustion.
***
Author's notes: Whee! And another one bites the dust! If the light profanity in this chapter offended you, then you need to learn to tolerate such things! Well, as it is, I may run out of ideas for the spaces between violence scenes, so any ideas are welcome! I apologize that the chapters are so short, I'm not too good at description. Now on to a few review responses!
Nimbus Rey: My reasons for disliking Ukyo are simple. She is crazier than all the Kuno family COMBINED, has a worse temper than Ryoga, and is more blind to reality than Mousse! Crazy is proved by her quick change from blinding hate to obsessive love, temper by the fact that she chased a guy down for 10 YEARS just to kill him, and this further proves the crazy part, because she knew him for what, a month? And the blind to reality part? Just look at any of her dreams of her future with Ranma. No curses, martial arts crazies, demons, or any of the other things Ranma seems to attract.
And I prefer Shampoo over Ukyo only because Shampoo/Ranma fics are so damn RARE, and therefore good for a change of pace.
DaimonHellstorm: No, it's not a crossover with Johnny the Homicidal Maniac. More of a Ranma parody of it. Hell, I might even have Ranma ask to be called Nma, or something.
Next time: Ranma kills somebody! Maybe.