Monstrous

by Leafy

Author's Note: This is my first LOTR fanfic ever. It is loosely based on an episode of the television show "Red Dwarf".

Also, this fic is more based on the movie of Fellowship of the Ring, rather than the books.

I hope you all enjoy it!

Disclaimer: I, the author of this fic, do not own anything Lord of the Rings or Red Dwarf.

Thank you for the nice reviews, everybody. J

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"Take care now, Gimli," the dwarf thought to himself, stepping cautiously between the trees. "There's an emotion-thirsty monster on the rampage somewhere 'round here, you've been separated from your comrades, and your axe has snapped in two. Still, all in a day's work for a son of Gloin."

Suddenly, there came a barely audible rustling in the leaves behind Gimli's head. He wheeled around, swinging half of his axe (the half with the head attached) blindly at the movement.

Legolas appeared on the spot, dodging the weapon. He looked down at the axe that had just missed him, then looked inquisitively back at Gimli.

"Erm, sorry," Gimli mumbled sheepishly, returning the axe to his side.

Legolas nodded, his expression unchanging, then focused his attention on the much-shorter handle of the weapon.

"What happened to your axe?" he inquired.

"Oh! Uhm--it broke."

"Really," said Legolas, with mock fascination. "I thought Dwarven weapons are only just shy of indestructible."

"They are, unless you swing them at a boulder by mistake," Gimli confessed, not noticing the elf's sarcasm.

Legolas stepped forward into the clearing, allowing the moonlight to catch his face briefly. Gimli thought he looked strange--worn out, ragged. Gimli didn't take as much notice of this, though, as he did of the expression of repugnance Legolas now wore, as he looked down at Gimli once more, then turned, bridling in disgust, back to the trees, his bow drawn.

"Only a dwarf could be capable of such stupidity," he sniffed.

Gimli's mouth opened in shock.

"What did you say?" he demanded fiercely.

"You heard me," Legolas retorted, not bothering to turn around.

"Indeed, I'm hoping I heard you wrong," said Gimli dangerously, narrowing his eyes.

"Unless you heard me say something about how intelligent this proves you are, no, you didn't hear me wrong."

"Have you gone mad, Master Elf?" Gimli barked furiously, his eyes bulging with hatred.

"Perhaps," Legolas looked back at him and smiled. He turned full around then, and bent down so as to be at eye-level with Gimli. "But rest assured, Master Dwarf. If I have, it will only ensure clearer communication between the two of us."

That was all Gimli needed to hear.

Bellowing in fury, he raised his crippled axe. He did not care what the others might think. Legolas had insulted him, humiliated him, and treated him like he was worth nothing! Gimli had never been so angry in his life before. He aimed a blow at the cocky elf's shoulder, but was very much surprised when Legolas reached forward and caught the axe by the sharp end, slicing into his own hand. He yanked it out of the dwarf's grip, tossed it aside, and opened his mouth quite wide, still facing Gimli, who had backed up as far as he could, pressing his back against the tree trunks.

The eerie sucking would be the last thing Gimli heard before he fainted.

**********

"This way!" said Legolas, taking off in the direction the ominous noise was coming from, not bothering to wait for the others.

Again, he was the first to reach the incapacitated victim. He was followed instantly by Frodo, who looked disappointed to say the least that it was only the victim and not the monster that had been found. Next came Boromir, who looked ready to cry when he saw Gimli lying on the ground, then Aragorn, Gandalf, and the three other hobbits.

Gimli awoke instantly, without Legolas needing to so much as touch him. He sat bolt upright, blinking wide eyes at his friends.

"You're all here, then!" said Gimli jovially, sounding like one trying to stifle a laugh. "I'm so glad," he beamed at Legolas, who looked back, completely baffled. "What's happened? The monster?" Gimli asked, sounding almost hopeful.

"Yes, Gimli," said Gandalf solemnly.

Gimli nodded most politely up at the wizard then turned his attention to the broken axe next to him, on the ground.

"Well, this is just terrible," said Gimli, not losing the funny tone in his voice. He picked up the weapon, holding a piece in each hand. "Now what shall I fight with?"

Boromir reached instantly for his own sword, but found his sheath empty. Frodo noticed this and abruptly stepped forward, holding out the sword to Gimli.

"Here," he said stoutly. "I need no aid in killing this abomination. You may use this."

Aragorn opened his mouth to protest, but shut it again when he considered the advantages of fearless Frodo without anything lethal in his possession.

"Very much obliged, Master Frodo," said Gimli rapturously, receiving the blade like it was his firstborn child. "Though, I would be lying if I said that I was looking forward to slaying this beast."

Frodo looked like he wanted the sword back.

"Why?" Aragorn stammered.

"Well, there's really no need to," Gimli replied meekly. "It's done us no great wrong."

"What are you talking about?" Sam demanded, coming into the center of the clearing. "It's injured you, and Mister Frodo, and Boromir, and it won't stop pursuing us until it's claimed us all!"

"Aye, but what's really so horrid about that, Master Samwise?" Gimli responded gently. "Or them?" He turned and smiled warmly at Frodo and Boromir, still standing side-by-side. "I love you both just the way you are."

"Give me back my sword," said Frodo.

"Oh, certainly," Gimli held it out.

"No, no," said Aragorn, catching it at the handle and drawing it away. "I think I'll hold onto this one, too."

"Really, Aragorn," Boromir protested softly. "According to what Frodo's told me, that will make three swords for you. I know I'm being a pest, but surely everyone will agree with me that you're being a bit--greedy?"

Frodo was the only one to react to this, nodding his head fervently.

"Listen--" snapped Aragorn.

"Please," Gimli pleaded, sounding as alarmed as if the trees around them had all just burst into flames. "Must we fight? Should we not be going somewhere now?"

There was a pause.

"Yes," said Aragorn hopelessly. "Back to the camp, before we lose anyone else. We'll figure out what to do in the morning."

~~End of Part 3