A Week in the Life...
Part 3/?
by Zhara and Amber
Leaning his uninjured shoulder against the cold metal of the flower shop door, Schuldich fumbled with
the handle, cursing as he tried to pull the door open again. Brushing back the hair that fell into his green
eyes, he glowered at the uncooperative door. 'Open, dammit! I'm drunk. I'm horny. And Kudoh
should still be out cold on the bed,' he thought lasciviously. 'Not that he'll be out much longer.'
The door suddenly pulled open, causing Schuldich to whoop in surprise as he staggered into the store.
Glaring back at the open door, he laughed when he saw that he had been trying to pull the door open
instead of pushing it. 'Ok. Whoever said the coordination is a good thing anyway.'
But that left a small puzzle teasing his mind. If he was pulling, who had pushed? Turning around he
saw his answer. The four members of Weiss with their angry face on. That comment caused him to
start laughing again. Yohji looked kinda of hot actually, the effort to look pissed off giving his features
a feral quality that Schuldich liked.
"Yohji," Schuldich leered as he walked over to the blond vision of his dreams. "You missed such a
good time." Grabbing Yohji's shirt he pulled him sharply toward his body and kissed him. "But I
can make that up for you."
Yohji broke away from the kiss. "Not in front of the guys," he whispered urgently, the angry expression
melting into uncertainty.
Schuldich mocked a frown as he ran one finger down the other man's cheek, "Are you ashamed of me?"
A sigh. "No. Look. You're in a lot of trouble. Money was stolen from the register, and they think it
was you," Yohji whispered.
Schuldich didn't have time to respond to the accusation as Aya spoke up.
"Where is the money?" Aya asked sternly.
Schuldich turned toward the other redhead and placed his most innocent expression, which didn't fool
anyone, on his face. "Money?"
"Don't toy with us," Ken ground out between a clenched jaw, standing beside Aya.
"Toy?" Schuldich asked. This was fun.
"Cut the crap, Schuldich. We know you stole the money," Ken snapped.
Schuldich sneered, "Prove it."
Ken held out a tape. "This is the video surveillance of the shop."
"Oh. You mean the money from the shop?" Schuldich backtracked, planting an ingenuous look on his
face again. "Don't worry. I plan on paying you back."
"When?" Aya ground out.
"Well I'm not sure. I don't exactly have any money on me right now." Schuldich said softly, his eyes
sliding to the side. "I did just get shot and kicked out of my home."
Yohji stepped up behind Schuldich and placed his hands gently on his shoulders, "It's ok. We know you
have been through a lot lately."
Schuldich hid his grin as Aya glowered at Yohji.
"That's no excuse for robbing us," Aya ground out.
"I'll pay you back, I promise." Schuldich said, leaning into Yohji for support. Sensing that the blond
would react more supportively if he played the wounded role.
"Yes you will pay us back, and you can start tomorrow at the shop. Your shift starts at nine a.m.,"
Aya said cooly.
Schuldich's eyes opened wide in surprise. They wanted him to work, physical labour, soiling his
hands. He turned to Yohji a tear in his eye, ready to get his way. "But, lover," he began.
Yohji stopped him, "It's only fair, Schu."
Schuldich was about to protest, when he noticed the serious glint in the blond's eyes. He thought
about messing with their minds to get out of working, but at the last moment decided not to. He had
a plan and it was going to be fun.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Wouldn't those flowers look gorgeous in your kitchen," Schuldich drawled as he inserted a mental
compulsion into the mind of the customer he was serving.
It was eleven in the morning and he had already sold most of the flowers in the shop.
"Why yes they would," the woman agreed heartily. Her eyes looked rather glassy as she kept nodding
her head up and down, agreeing with every thing Schuldich said. "I'll take them all."
"Good choice," Schuldich said as he went and grabbed the rest of the carnations. Bundling the selection
of flowers into a loose bundle, he walked over to Ken and shoved the flowers in his face. "Here.
Wrap these up," he demanded.
Ken frowned, "Do it yourself."
Sighing Schuldich said, "You know I don't know how to wrap the fucking flowers. Now do you want
to lose this sale or not?" Schuldich asked, pointing in the direction of the customer.
Ken frowned again, but took the flowers from Schuldich and quickly wrapped the bouquet.
"Try and make them look attractive, Hidaka," the German said as he leaned against the counter, watching
the other man work. He spared a glace back over at his customer who was still nodding her head
up and down. 'This is just too easy,' he thought with a smirk.
"Here," Ken said sourly as he shoved the arrangement at the telepath.
Schuldich smiled sweetly at the other assassin. He could feel Ken still scowling at his back as he made
his way back over to his customer. A burst of incredability flooded over him when Ken heard the
amount he asked for. A quick glance confirmed Ken's shock.
He could see that Ken was about to protest when he saw the woman happily open her purse and pull
out a five thousand yen bill and handed it over to him.
Schuldich handed her the flowers and escorted the woman over to the door, "Have a nice day," he said
sweetly, not caring at all that the woman still hadn't stopped nodding her head as she walked away.
His handy work wouldn't wear off for an hour or so.
"What the hell were you thinking? Charging her five thousand yen!" Ken demanded as he walked over
to Schuldich, a little vein in his forehead throbbing.
"Oh calm down. She didn't argue did she?" Schuldich asked unconcerned as he stared at the other man's
forehead. 'I see death by stroke one of these days. If I was speaking to that asshole, Bradley, I'd ask him
to precog it for me.'
Ken was about to argue more when Schuldich took a collection of bills out of his pocket and started to
count it, separating the money into three piles.
"Here is the money I took last night. Here is what the flowers I sold were really worth," Schuldich said,
handing the money over to Ken. " This," he said waving the remaining money in his hand, "is my share."
"But there must be over one-hundred-thousand yen left over. How much were you selling the flowers
for?" Ken asked flabbergasted.
Schuldich shrugged his slim shoulders. "I sold them at what I thought the people could afford."'
"That's robbery," Ken exclaimed.
"Stop your whining, Hidaka. You wanted me to pay you back and I did."
"That's not the point," Ken argued.
Schuldich shoved the rest of the money into the jeans he had borrowed from Yohji. "Yar, Yar. You
Wiess people worry way too much."
Taking off the apron he was wearing, Schuldich turned and looked at Ken. "Well my job is done. I'm
going shopping. See you guys later."
Ken's left eye started to twitch as he watched Schuldich walk out of the store.
TBC....
A/N: There was a review left, anonymous of course, about the fact that this story is a parody. The review
was along the lines of...I hate you if you're making fun of stories where Schu defects. Since I didn't have
a chance to respond to that individual I thought that I would state here that we are parodying the characters.
Not the fics. I happen to love stories where Schu joins up with Weiss. So, arcade, I hope that cleans the
air up a bit. Jumping to conclusions before a story is even completed is never a good idea.
Part 3/?
by Zhara and Amber
Leaning his uninjured shoulder against the cold metal of the flower shop door, Schuldich fumbled with
the handle, cursing as he tried to pull the door open again. Brushing back the hair that fell into his green
eyes, he glowered at the uncooperative door. 'Open, dammit! I'm drunk. I'm horny. And Kudoh
should still be out cold on the bed,' he thought lasciviously. 'Not that he'll be out much longer.'
The door suddenly pulled open, causing Schuldich to whoop in surprise as he staggered into the store.
Glaring back at the open door, he laughed when he saw that he had been trying to pull the door open
instead of pushing it. 'Ok. Whoever said the coordination is a good thing anyway.'
But that left a small puzzle teasing his mind. If he was pulling, who had pushed? Turning around he
saw his answer. The four members of Weiss with their angry face on. That comment caused him to
start laughing again. Yohji looked kinda of hot actually, the effort to look pissed off giving his features
a feral quality that Schuldich liked.
"Yohji," Schuldich leered as he walked over to the blond vision of his dreams. "You missed such a
good time." Grabbing Yohji's shirt he pulled him sharply toward his body and kissed him. "But I
can make that up for you."
Yohji broke away from the kiss. "Not in front of the guys," he whispered urgently, the angry expression
melting into uncertainty.
Schuldich mocked a frown as he ran one finger down the other man's cheek, "Are you ashamed of me?"
A sigh. "No. Look. You're in a lot of trouble. Money was stolen from the register, and they think it
was you," Yohji whispered.
Schuldich didn't have time to respond to the accusation as Aya spoke up.
"Where is the money?" Aya asked sternly.
Schuldich turned toward the other redhead and placed his most innocent expression, which didn't fool
anyone, on his face. "Money?"
"Don't toy with us," Ken ground out between a clenched jaw, standing beside Aya.
"Toy?" Schuldich asked. This was fun.
"Cut the crap, Schuldich. We know you stole the money," Ken snapped.
Schuldich sneered, "Prove it."
Ken held out a tape. "This is the video surveillance of the shop."
"Oh. You mean the money from the shop?" Schuldich backtracked, planting an ingenuous look on his
face again. "Don't worry. I plan on paying you back."
"When?" Aya ground out.
"Well I'm not sure. I don't exactly have any money on me right now." Schuldich said softly, his eyes
sliding to the side. "I did just get shot and kicked out of my home."
Yohji stepped up behind Schuldich and placed his hands gently on his shoulders, "It's ok. We know you
have been through a lot lately."
Schuldich hid his grin as Aya glowered at Yohji.
"That's no excuse for robbing us," Aya ground out.
"I'll pay you back, I promise." Schuldich said, leaning into Yohji for support. Sensing that the blond
would react more supportively if he played the wounded role.
"Yes you will pay us back, and you can start tomorrow at the shop. Your shift starts at nine a.m.,"
Aya said cooly.
Schuldich's eyes opened wide in surprise. They wanted him to work, physical labour, soiling his
hands. He turned to Yohji a tear in his eye, ready to get his way. "But, lover," he began.
Yohji stopped him, "It's only fair, Schu."
Schuldich was about to protest, when he noticed the serious glint in the blond's eyes. He thought
about messing with their minds to get out of working, but at the last moment decided not to. He had
a plan and it was going to be fun.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Wouldn't those flowers look gorgeous in your kitchen," Schuldich drawled as he inserted a mental
compulsion into the mind of the customer he was serving.
It was eleven in the morning and he had already sold most of the flowers in the shop.
"Why yes they would," the woman agreed heartily. Her eyes looked rather glassy as she kept nodding
her head up and down, agreeing with every thing Schuldich said. "I'll take them all."
"Good choice," Schuldich said as he went and grabbed the rest of the carnations. Bundling the selection
of flowers into a loose bundle, he walked over to Ken and shoved the flowers in his face. "Here.
Wrap these up," he demanded.
Ken frowned, "Do it yourself."
Sighing Schuldich said, "You know I don't know how to wrap the fucking flowers. Now do you want
to lose this sale or not?" Schuldich asked, pointing in the direction of the customer.
Ken frowned again, but took the flowers from Schuldich and quickly wrapped the bouquet.
"Try and make them look attractive, Hidaka," the German said as he leaned against the counter, watching
the other man work. He spared a glace back over at his customer who was still nodding her head
up and down. 'This is just too easy,' he thought with a smirk.
"Here," Ken said sourly as he shoved the arrangement at the telepath.
Schuldich smiled sweetly at the other assassin. He could feel Ken still scowling at his back as he made
his way back over to his customer. A burst of incredability flooded over him when Ken heard the
amount he asked for. A quick glance confirmed Ken's shock.
He could see that Ken was about to protest when he saw the woman happily open her purse and pull
out a five thousand yen bill and handed it over to him.
Schuldich handed her the flowers and escorted the woman over to the door, "Have a nice day," he said
sweetly, not caring at all that the woman still hadn't stopped nodding her head as she walked away.
His handy work wouldn't wear off for an hour or so.
"What the hell were you thinking? Charging her five thousand yen!" Ken demanded as he walked over
to Schuldich, a little vein in his forehead throbbing.
"Oh calm down. She didn't argue did she?" Schuldich asked unconcerned as he stared at the other man's
forehead. 'I see death by stroke one of these days. If I was speaking to that asshole, Bradley, I'd ask him
to precog it for me.'
Ken was about to argue more when Schuldich took a collection of bills out of his pocket and started to
count it, separating the money into three piles.
"Here is the money I took last night. Here is what the flowers I sold were really worth," Schuldich said,
handing the money over to Ken. " This," he said waving the remaining money in his hand, "is my share."
"But there must be over one-hundred-thousand yen left over. How much were you selling the flowers
for?" Ken asked flabbergasted.
Schuldich shrugged his slim shoulders. "I sold them at what I thought the people could afford."'
"That's robbery," Ken exclaimed.
"Stop your whining, Hidaka. You wanted me to pay you back and I did."
"That's not the point," Ken argued.
Schuldich shoved the rest of the money into the jeans he had borrowed from Yohji. "Yar, Yar. You
Wiess people worry way too much."
Taking off the apron he was wearing, Schuldich turned and looked at Ken. "Well my job is done. I'm
going shopping. See you guys later."
Ken's left eye started to twitch as he watched Schuldich walk out of the store.
TBC....
A/N: There was a review left, anonymous of course, about the fact that this story is a parody. The review
was along the lines of...I hate you if you're making fun of stories where Schu defects. Since I didn't have
a chance to respond to that individual I thought that I would state here that we are parodying the characters.
Not the fics. I happen to love stories where Schu joins up with Weiss. So, arcade, I hope that cleans the
air up a bit. Jumping to conclusions before a story is even completed is never a good idea.