I do not own Artemis Fowl. :'( OK THIS CHAPTER SUCKS!!!!!! IT'S REALLY BAD
I PROMISE IT WILL GET BETTER IN THE FOLLOWING ONES!!! :0 Thanks to
Thundermage, you have won the contest!!! You will be in this story. Chapter
Two: Revelations
Mr. Fowl sat at the table, smiling. His face was riddled with many scars. Artemis gasped. It was odd, seeing his father conscious for the first time in years. Artemis blushed. His recent wounds were turning red, and his mother got up to clean them.
"Oh, Arty, are you all right?" his Mother cried, reaching for a bottle of rubbing alcohol. She cleansed it with a cotton ball. Artemis cringed at the sudden sting. Then he relaxed.
"Yes, mother. I am fine," he said in a monotone voice. He walked over to his father.
"Son!" his father yelled. "You've gotten bigger." Mr. Fowl grabbed his arm and squeezed. "And stronger, too! Why, the last time I saw you, you were ten! You loved surfing the net for alien rumors and whatnot."
Artemis just stood there. A mixture of happiness and amazement curdled in his stomach. He could not stand it anymore. He started to sob into his father's shirt.
"There, there, me boy. It's ok. it's ok." said the man, rubbing his son's back. He smiled. His own son had gotten sentimental. That's what you get for leaving a family for years at a time, he thought. He was biting his lip, and a trickle of blood poured down his chin.
"Dad, I." said Artemis. He stopped crying and wiped his eyes. "What I mean is," He stopped. For once in his life, Artemis was at a loss for words. He thought for a second. "Father. I have missed you dearly. Why don't you tell us about your adventure?" said Artemis. He cleared his throat and waited. He already knew what happened, but he thought it polite to ask.
"Well son, I do remember saying goodbye, and ridding on a ship, but apparently, I got a slight case of amnesia. I also remember waking up in a hospital bed." Mr. Fowl sighed. "It's a pity I don't remember anything, for it would be of your mother's interest."
Mr. Fowl drunk deeply from a champagne glass, filled with Dom Perignon. (tell me if it's spelled wrong please)
"Oh Timmy, I missed you so, said Angeline. She leaned across the table and kissed him on the cheek. "You simply can't imagine what it's been like since you left." Angeline let out a sigh of contentment. "I love you Timmy." Said Angeline.
Mr. Fowl looked at his son's arm and was surprised. "Son, you sized up pretty damn well. Do you lift weights?"
Artemis smiled Oh yes, the moment of truth has finally arrived, he thought. "I lift weights, about oh, 150 (pounds), and bench 125 (pounds)." Artemis smiled.
"Um, Mother, may I please get a plate of food?" asked Artemis politely. He had been extremely hungry.
"Oh, dear, I was waiting for you to ask. We all are a little hungry." Said his mother. She smiled. What a lovely son we have, she thought. And with that, a long night of food and talk commenced.
The Lower Elements, Haven City, Holly's House
Holly lied on her bed, thinking about Artemis. What possible schemes could he be up to? Was he plotting ultimate doom for the LEP or even the lower elements? Nah, never. Artemis had changed. Holly was sure of it. Foaly had cameras stationed in Artemis's limo, concealed in virtually every room. This may seem possible, but due to Foaly's newest creation, the Spyspore (catchy, huh?), contained many micro cameras. What it can do is: A. Move according to a nuclear-powered, super sonic remote control, B. Spread up to 3 cameras a second, and C. Direct the micro cameras to the most unnoticeable, yet best vantage point. Very clever. Of course, Foaly spent half of the time bragging about it, but Holly taught him to shut up with a quick jab in the stomach. She chuckled. Holly loved to hit Foaly. He made a funny sound, somewhere between an umf and an ouch. The result was a mouch. Holly chuckled again. She checked her moonometer. Damn. Almost eight.
She got up, and went to the kitchen. Grumble. Foaly had recently patented a new invention. It was instant food that provides nutrition, vitamins and everything necessary to be healthy. It only required for you to shake the bag vigorously for three minutes. There was a micro-conductor inside that multiplied the heat generated by shaking it. It was quite simple, really. Foaly had also managed to duplicate the taste of mud-men foods, like shrimp.
Holly got her instant meal (she had chosen shrimp cocktail) and grabbed her gun, helmet and suit. She quickly put it on and placed her gun in the holster. Holly shook the shrimp as she ran outside, running towards LEP (I don't remember the name of it!). Holly instantly realized that she had forgot a fork.
D'ARVIT!!!" she yelled. She said it a little too loud, for it had woken up half of the street.
"Shut up! I'm trying to sleep" or "Be quiet!" or other half-brained shouts, riddled with sleep, were yelled. Holly grinned. An easy way to get on an Elf's nerves was to deprive them of sleep. Then she remembered why they were yelling at her.
Holly was never one to be a messy eater. But now was an exception. She couldn't be late. Once again she checked her moonometer. 7:56. She was three blocks away. Could she make it? Let's find out, she thought. She gulped the contents of the pouch down, as quickly as possible. She had mostly managed to keep the sauce off of her. Mostly.
Holly ran down the three blocks quicker than a sprite would flirt with a female officer. She ran to her office as quickly as possible, knocking down the occasional bystander. Today's traffic wasn't so bad, she thought. As soon as she signed in and got to her cubicle, she felt someone breathe down her neck. Literally. She slowly turned around, afraid of the possibilities. She looked up into the dark, unmerciful eyes of. Foaly?
"Damn it Foaly, never do that!!" Screamed Holly, punching him in the stomach. A loud mouch emitted from his mouth. Holly was satisfied. She smiled a broad smile.
"Just noticed that you were eating one of my new meals. Did you like it?" said Foaly, anxiously. Holly threw away the wrapper.
"Yes, Foaly. It was gourmet. Excellent. You could be the first Centaur chef!" She said sarcastically, throwing up the paperwork on her desk. Foaly smiled.
"No Holly, actually the second. Yuto, the eccentric guy." said Foaly.
"You mean the guy I arrested 100 years ago? Didn't he like, poison the food supply of the Burping Gremlin?" she asked. Foaly nodded. Holly frowned. "Ok, pony boy, enough cooking riz raz, I have important paperwork to give to my secretary, as you can see. So go create something" she spat. She was short tempered. That was one side effect of the meals.
Foaly walked away, mumbling something about being under appreciated. Holly went back to her work when she felt someone breathing down he neck again.
"Holly, I see you like paper parades! Well, if you don't get this load of Rithgaarmian shit out of my way. need I continue" Said Lieutenant Root. He had gotten a lot of responsibility since had been given a higher position. Holly winced. Root had recently gotten an approval from the council. It simply stated that anyone who Root thought was not up to standards would spend fifty years in the most excruciating training and torture to bring them back up to standards.
"Yessir. Right away sir." Holly quickly said. Not that she wasn't on the way to a promotion, she just never wanted to be on Root's bad side. He had met a sprite who was, and he ended up in Cumulus House.
"Now then." Said Root, his face a lovely cherry tinge. "We need you to proceed to the mission Simulator. They just created a new Mission." The walked down the hall, up the stairs, back down the stairs and up more stairs.
"Holly! Take a look at this! A new Artemis Fowl orientated simulator, based on the past events. One is even named the Artic Incident!" Said a techie. Holly gritted her teeth. Stay calm. Stay composed, she said to herself. She couldn't help herself, so she punched him square in the nose.
"What did I say about publicity? Huh? You want another one in the eye? Or how about in your lips?"
The techie flinched and started to cry.
"Oh, is the baby gonna cry? Poor baby" said Holly
"Holly! That's enough. Stop it now!" screamed Root. "What's gotten into you?"
"Must be that instant breakfast/meal thing" said Holly feebly "I guess I'll stop eating them." Root nodded. Holly apologized and hugged him. She then proceeded to go to the operations booth. "Foaly. You've gotta stop producing those meals! They mess up your good judgment and stuff!" Said Holly. Before Foaly could respond with a witty response, Holly's walkie- talkie started to buzz.
"All units! All units! Proceed to Police Plaza! We have a hostage situation on our hands! I repeat, we have a hostage situation on our hands!" Holly ran outside, recoiling in fear. An Elf was hanging from a rope, cut up severely. He had no magic to cure his wounds, apparently. Hooded figures were guarding him with what appeared to be a Semi-automatic. Holly put on her helmet and tried to get a close-up of it.
"Unidentified weapon. It's illegal if I don't know what it is" said a recording of Foaly. Holly cursed. Badly.
"Foaly, can you tell me what that is?" asked Holly. She cleared her voice and tried again. "Foaly, what is that?" she said in a more insistent voice. "Foaly!"
"Don't think I'm in good terms with you. Ahem Ahem. Oh yeah, that is um, hold on a second." Said Foaly. Holly heard Foaly tapping some keys. "Um, Holly, I need you to listen carefully. That weapon. that weapon is a multi- blasting, fully automatic body penetrating wide-shot blaster. Eight settings. Setting one can melt skin. Eight can destroy a whole group of fifty or so people. It also ha-"
"Holly! I need you to get the LEP's attention! Stop them!" Barked Root. Holly brought him up on the view screen.
"Why can't Foaly warn them?"
"Because, HOLLY," Root said in an impatient voice. "The flares are up!"
"D'Arvit! D'Arvit D'Arvit D'Arvit! All right. I'll do my best. S-sir." Holly stuttered. A sudden wave of fear overwhelmed her. She took three deep breaths and ran towards the front of the crowd. "Everyone stop! Shut Up!" Holly yelled. No one listened. Holly gritted her teeth and raised her gun. She fired four shots, an LEP signal for basically, shut up. Everyone spun around and looked at her. "Everyone, the guns those. those people are holding are very dangerous. They are extremely deadly. Foaly should be." Holly screamed out in pain. Apparently, one of the hooded figures fired a round at Holly. "AughHhHHHHHHHHHHHh!!"
Holly was losing consciousness fast. She started to get lightheaded and was wondering things. Why did it have to hurt so much? And why couldn't magic heal it? How was it? It sucked right? I'll keep on writing no matter what now. I hope, that is.
Mr. Fowl sat at the table, smiling. His face was riddled with many scars. Artemis gasped. It was odd, seeing his father conscious for the first time in years. Artemis blushed. His recent wounds were turning red, and his mother got up to clean them.
"Oh, Arty, are you all right?" his Mother cried, reaching for a bottle of rubbing alcohol. She cleansed it with a cotton ball. Artemis cringed at the sudden sting. Then he relaxed.
"Yes, mother. I am fine," he said in a monotone voice. He walked over to his father.
"Son!" his father yelled. "You've gotten bigger." Mr. Fowl grabbed his arm and squeezed. "And stronger, too! Why, the last time I saw you, you were ten! You loved surfing the net for alien rumors and whatnot."
Artemis just stood there. A mixture of happiness and amazement curdled in his stomach. He could not stand it anymore. He started to sob into his father's shirt.
"There, there, me boy. It's ok. it's ok." said the man, rubbing his son's back. He smiled. His own son had gotten sentimental. That's what you get for leaving a family for years at a time, he thought. He was biting his lip, and a trickle of blood poured down his chin.
"Dad, I." said Artemis. He stopped crying and wiped his eyes. "What I mean is," He stopped. For once in his life, Artemis was at a loss for words. He thought for a second. "Father. I have missed you dearly. Why don't you tell us about your adventure?" said Artemis. He cleared his throat and waited. He already knew what happened, but he thought it polite to ask.
"Well son, I do remember saying goodbye, and ridding on a ship, but apparently, I got a slight case of amnesia. I also remember waking up in a hospital bed." Mr. Fowl sighed. "It's a pity I don't remember anything, for it would be of your mother's interest."
Mr. Fowl drunk deeply from a champagne glass, filled with Dom Perignon. (tell me if it's spelled wrong please)
"Oh Timmy, I missed you so, said Angeline. She leaned across the table and kissed him on the cheek. "You simply can't imagine what it's been like since you left." Angeline let out a sigh of contentment. "I love you Timmy." Said Angeline.
Mr. Fowl looked at his son's arm and was surprised. "Son, you sized up pretty damn well. Do you lift weights?"
Artemis smiled Oh yes, the moment of truth has finally arrived, he thought. "I lift weights, about oh, 150 (pounds), and bench 125 (pounds)." Artemis smiled.
"Um, Mother, may I please get a plate of food?" asked Artemis politely. He had been extremely hungry.
"Oh, dear, I was waiting for you to ask. We all are a little hungry." Said his mother. She smiled. What a lovely son we have, she thought. And with that, a long night of food and talk commenced.
The Lower Elements, Haven City, Holly's House
Holly lied on her bed, thinking about Artemis. What possible schemes could he be up to? Was he plotting ultimate doom for the LEP or even the lower elements? Nah, never. Artemis had changed. Holly was sure of it. Foaly had cameras stationed in Artemis's limo, concealed in virtually every room. This may seem possible, but due to Foaly's newest creation, the Spyspore (catchy, huh?), contained many micro cameras. What it can do is: A. Move according to a nuclear-powered, super sonic remote control, B. Spread up to 3 cameras a second, and C. Direct the micro cameras to the most unnoticeable, yet best vantage point. Very clever. Of course, Foaly spent half of the time bragging about it, but Holly taught him to shut up with a quick jab in the stomach. She chuckled. Holly loved to hit Foaly. He made a funny sound, somewhere between an umf and an ouch. The result was a mouch. Holly chuckled again. She checked her moonometer. Damn. Almost eight.
She got up, and went to the kitchen. Grumble. Foaly had recently patented a new invention. It was instant food that provides nutrition, vitamins and everything necessary to be healthy. It only required for you to shake the bag vigorously for three minutes. There was a micro-conductor inside that multiplied the heat generated by shaking it. It was quite simple, really. Foaly had also managed to duplicate the taste of mud-men foods, like shrimp.
Holly got her instant meal (she had chosen shrimp cocktail) and grabbed her gun, helmet and suit. She quickly put it on and placed her gun in the holster. Holly shook the shrimp as she ran outside, running towards LEP (I don't remember the name of it!). Holly instantly realized that she had forgot a fork.
D'ARVIT!!!" she yelled. She said it a little too loud, for it had woken up half of the street.
"Shut up! I'm trying to sleep" or "Be quiet!" or other half-brained shouts, riddled with sleep, were yelled. Holly grinned. An easy way to get on an Elf's nerves was to deprive them of sleep. Then she remembered why they were yelling at her.
Holly was never one to be a messy eater. But now was an exception. She couldn't be late. Once again she checked her moonometer. 7:56. She was three blocks away. Could she make it? Let's find out, she thought. She gulped the contents of the pouch down, as quickly as possible. She had mostly managed to keep the sauce off of her. Mostly.
Holly ran down the three blocks quicker than a sprite would flirt with a female officer. She ran to her office as quickly as possible, knocking down the occasional bystander. Today's traffic wasn't so bad, she thought. As soon as she signed in and got to her cubicle, she felt someone breathe down her neck. Literally. She slowly turned around, afraid of the possibilities. She looked up into the dark, unmerciful eyes of. Foaly?
"Damn it Foaly, never do that!!" Screamed Holly, punching him in the stomach. A loud mouch emitted from his mouth. Holly was satisfied. She smiled a broad smile.
"Just noticed that you were eating one of my new meals. Did you like it?" said Foaly, anxiously. Holly threw away the wrapper.
"Yes, Foaly. It was gourmet. Excellent. You could be the first Centaur chef!" She said sarcastically, throwing up the paperwork on her desk. Foaly smiled.
"No Holly, actually the second. Yuto, the eccentric guy." said Foaly.
"You mean the guy I arrested 100 years ago? Didn't he like, poison the food supply of the Burping Gremlin?" she asked. Foaly nodded. Holly frowned. "Ok, pony boy, enough cooking riz raz, I have important paperwork to give to my secretary, as you can see. So go create something" she spat. She was short tempered. That was one side effect of the meals.
Foaly walked away, mumbling something about being under appreciated. Holly went back to her work when she felt someone breathing down he neck again.
"Holly, I see you like paper parades! Well, if you don't get this load of Rithgaarmian shit out of my way. need I continue" Said Lieutenant Root. He had gotten a lot of responsibility since had been given a higher position. Holly winced. Root had recently gotten an approval from the council. It simply stated that anyone who Root thought was not up to standards would spend fifty years in the most excruciating training and torture to bring them back up to standards.
"Yessir. Right away sir." Holly quickly said. Not that she wasn't on the way to a promotion, she just never wanted to be on Root's bad side. He had met a sprite who was, and he ended up in Cumulus House.
"Now then." Said Root, his face a lovely cherry tinge. "We need you to proceed to the mission Simulator. They just created a new Mission." The walked down the hall, up the stairs, back down the stairs and up more stairs.
"Holly! Take a look at this! A new Artemis Fowl orientated simulator, based on the past events. One is even named the Artic Incident!" Said a techie. Holly gritted her teeth. Stay calm. Stay composed, she said to herself. She couldn't help herself, so she punched him square in the nose.
"What did I say about publicity? Huh? You want another one in the eye? Or how about in your lips?"
The techie flinched and started to cry.
"Oh, is the baby gonna cry? Poor baby" said Holly
"Holly! That's enough. Stop it now!" screamed Root. "What's gotten into you?"
"Must be that instant breakfast/meal thing" said Holly feebly "I guess I'll stop eating them." Root nodded. Holly apologized and hugged him. She then proceeded to go to the operations booth. "Foaly. You've gotta stop producing those meals! They mess up your good judgment and stuff!" Said Holly. Before Foaly could respond with a witty response, Holly's walkie- talkie started to buzz.
"All units! All units! Proceed to Police Plaza! We have a hostage situation on our hands! I repeat, we have a hostage situation on our hands!" Holly ran outside, recoiling in fear. An Elf was hanging from a rope, cut up severely. He had no magic to cure his wounds, apparently. Hooded figures were guarding him with what appeared to be a Semi-automatic. Holly put on her helmet and tried to get a close-up of it.
"Unidentified weapon. It's illegal if I don't know what it is" said a recording of Foaly. Holly cursed. Badly.
"Foaly, can you tell me what that is?" asked Holly. She cleared her voice and tried again. "Foaly, what is that?" she said in a more insistent voice. "Foaly!"
"Don't think I'm in good terms with you. Ahem Ahem. Oh yeah, that is um, hold on a second." Said Foaly. Holly heard Foaly tapping some keys. "Um, Holly, I need you to listen carefully. That weapon. that weapon is a multi- blasting, fully automatic body penetrating wide-shot blaster. Eight settings. Setting one can melt skin. Eight can destroy a whole group of fifty or so people. It also ha-"
"Holly! I need you to get the LEP's attention! Stop them!" Barked Root. Holly brought him up on the view screen.
"Why can't Foaly warn them?"
"Because, HOLLY," Root said in an impatient voice. "The flares are up!"
"D'Arvit! D'Arvit D'Arvit D'Arvit! All right. I'll do my best. S-sir." Holly stuttered. A sudden wave of fear overwhelmed her. She took three deep breaths and ran towards the front of the crowd. "Everyone stop! Shut Up!" Holly yelled. No one listened. Holly gritted her teeth and raised her gun. She fired four shots, an LEP signal for basically, shut up. Everyone spun around and looked at her. "Everyone, the guns those. those people are holding are very dangerous. They are extremely deadly. Foaly should be." Holly screamed out in pain. Apparently, one of the hooded figures fired a round at Holly. "AughHhHHHHHHHHHHHh!!"
Holly was losing consciousness fast. She started to get lightheaded and was wondering things. Why did it have to hurt so much? And why couldn't magic heal it? How was it? It sucked right? I'll keep on writing no matter what now. I hope, that is.