Ok, in this chapter, I will be dissing myself ALOT!! YEAH! No, I don't care if people think I'm being
hard on myself BLAH! It's fun to make fun of yourself! TRY IT OR I'LL EAT YOU!!!!
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Chapter Five: Oh Shit
"Oh shit" said Artemis. It was Kitty Rainbow. "Aren't you that famous writer that my evil
twin that noone knows about flamed cuz he was a bitch?" he said in one breath.
"Ok, like, first off, that was a run on sentence. It was grammatically incorrect. Second,
cuz isn't a word. Third but not least, I wouldn't use the term bitch to describe him. I would use
something along the lines of, lets see, stupid bitch."
"Well said, Kit. Do you mind if I call you that?" asked Artemis.
"Not at all." she responded. Artemis nodded and pulled out the Lame Cube. As he accessed
the internet with a wireless connection, he read one of her stories. It was entitled Growing up,
Growing Old. Artemis smiled and laughed to himself. "What's so funny?" she asked.
"Well, my ignorant little evil twin wrote this review for your story." he said, reading
it out loud.
This story is bad bad bad! I reviewed one or two of your other stories, and they all are TERRIBLE!!!
WORK ON THEM SO THEY DON'T ALL INVOLVE FRIKING LOVCE BETWEEN ARTEMIS AND HOLLY! WHY DO YOU FOCUS ON ONLY THAT????
ARG MY SNAPPLE WAS STOLEN AGAIN!!! DAMN!
"He spelled love wrong. Hahahaha!" said he. They laughed quietly so they would not wake
anyone up. "I love your romance stories. They actually are pretty accurate, except for the death
part for me in the hospital one." He paused. "Ya know, I did do some things with Holly that were
not in your stories if you catch my drift..." he said.
"You mean..."
"Yeah I did!"
"I can't believe you!"
"What? Watering her ferns isn't so bad, is it?"
She sighed relief. She thought that "he did the laundry" with her. She yawned and leaned
against Artemis's shoulder. "Do you DDR?" she asked.
"As a matter of fact, I do. Want to play?" As an answer to his question, the plane started
to move and the captain's voice drifted over the loudspeaker.
"Ladies and Gentlemen, please turn off all electric devices, fasten your seatbelts and get ready because
were ridin' right now!" They did so and Artemis turned off his LC. They started talking and didn't realize how long they
were talking until the captain announced that they would arrive in thirty minutes.
"Oh, we forgot to play DDR!" said Artemis. He looked sad but then cheered up. "Do you want my email?"
"Sure!" she exclaimed. Artemis Fowl was giving her his e-mail! OHMIGOSH!!!! He wrote it down and she looked puzzled.
"Artisthehottesthomieinthisdamnworldsoshutupifyoudontlikeitbitch@ARTYFOWL.com.org.com. Whoa nelly that's long!" she exclaimed.
"I guess I'll have to put it in my address book! Want mine?" She asked. He nodded and she wrote it down.
"IonlywriteartyromancescuzhessoooooohotiluvartyhesmyherobutArTeMiSfOwLsucksbecausehedoesntlikemystoriesandalwaysmakes
funofthemandsayssomeonestolemysnappleandivomitmypomegraniteblaartemiscantdiefromabrokenarm@artemisfowlishot.com DAMN! LONGER
THAN REPUNZELS HAIR!! Oh well, I'll memorize it." He flashed her a grin. "If you'll excuse me, I'll get me a drink for me, and if you
tell me, I'll get you one too."
"Oh, I would love you to get me a Pepsi Purple!" She said. He nodded and got them. As he returned, he noticed Kitty Rainbow
was rummaging through his bag.
"What are you doing?" he hissed. She sqealed like a pig and srank back in her seat. "HOW DARE YOU SEARCH MY BAG!" he bellowed.
"I'm sorry! I just dropped my lipstick in your bag!" she exclaimed
"Oh! In that case, let me get it for you!" He proceeded to do so as the plane landed. "Keep I touch?"
"Keep in touch!" She said. They started to get off the plane and Artemis thought, 'She's hot'
When they got off the plane, Artemis leaned foward towards her and kissed her.
He grabbed his bag and ran off.
hard on myself BLAH! It's fun to make fun of yourself! TRY IT OR I'LL EAT YOU!!!!
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Chapter Five: Oh Shit
"Oh shit" said Artemis. It was Kitty Rainbow. "Aren't you that famous writer that my evil
twin that noone knows about flamed cuz he was a bitch?" he said in one breath.
"Ok, like, first off, that was a run on sentence. It was grammatically incorrect. Second,
cuz isn't a word. Third but not least, I wouldn't use the term bitch to describe him. I would use
something along the lines of, lets see, stupid bitch."
"Well said, Kit. Do you mind if I call you that?" asked Artemis.
"Not at all." she responded. Artemis nodded and pulled out the Lame Cube. As he accessed
the internet with a wireless connection, he read one of her stories. It was entitled Growing up,
Growing Old. Artemis smiled and laughed to himself. "What's so funny?" she asked.
"Well, my ignorant little evil twin wrote this review for your story." he said, reading
it out loud.
This story is bad bad bad! I reviewed one or two of your other stories, and they all are TERRIBLE!!!
WORK ON THEM SO THEY DON'T ALL INVOLVE FRIKING LOVCE BETWEEN ARTEMIS AND HOLLY! WHY DO YOU FOCUS ON ONLY THAT????
ARG MY SNAPPLE WAS STOLEN AGAIN!!! DAMN!
"He spelled love wrong. Hahahaha!" said he. They laughed quietly so they would not wake
anyone up. "I love your romance stories. They actually are pretty accurate, except for the death
part for me in the hospital one." He paused. "Ya know, I did do some things with Holly that were
not in your stories if you catch my drift..." he said.
"You mean..."
"Yeah I did!"
"I can't believe you!"
"What? Watering her ferns isn't so bad, is it?"
She sighed relief. She thought that "he did the laundry" with her. She yawned and leaned
against Artemis's shoulder. "Do you DDR?" she asked.
"As a matter of fact, I do. Want to play?" As an answer to his question, the plane started
to move and the captain's voice drifted over the loudspeaker.
"Ladies and Gentlemen, please turn off all electric devices, fasten your seatbelts and get ready because
were ridin' right now!" They did so and Artemis turned off his LC. They started talking and didn't realize how long they
were talking until the captain announced that they would arrive in thirty minutes.
"Oh, we forgot to play DDR!" said Artemis. He looked sad but then cheered up. "Do you want my email?"
"Sure!" she exclaimed. Artemis Fowl was giving her his e-mail! OHMIGOSH!!!! He wrote it down and she looked puzzled.
"Artisthehottesthomieinthisdamnworldsoshutupifyoudontlikeitbitch@ARTYFOWL.com.org.com. Whoa nelly that's long!" she exclaimed.
"I guess I'll have to put it in my address book! Want mine?" She asked. He nodded and she wrote it down.
"IonlywriteartyromancescuzhessoooooohotiluvartyhesmyherobutArTeMiSfOwLsucksbecausehedoesntlikemystoriesandalwaysmakes
funofthemandsayssomeonestolemysnappleandivomitmypomegraniteblaartemiscantdiefromabrokenarm@artemisfowlishot.com DAMN! LONGER
THAN REPUNZELS HAIR!! Oh well, I'll memorize it." He flashed her a grin. "If you'll excuse me, I'll get me a drink for me, and if you
tell me, I'll get you one too."
"Oh, I would love you to get me a Pepsi Purple!" She said. He nodded and got them. As he returned, he noticed Kitty Rainbow
was rummaging through his bag.
"What are you doing?" he hissed. She sqealed like a pig and srank back in her seat. "HOW DARE YOU SEARCH MY BAG!" he bellowed.
"I'm sorry! I just dropped my lipstick in your bag!" she exclaimed
"Oh! In that case, let me get it for you!" He proceeded to do so as the plane landed. "Keep I touch?"
"Keep in touch!" She said. They started to get off the plane and Artemis thought, 'She's hot'
When they got off the plane, Artemis leaned foward towards her and kissed her.
He grabbed his bag and ran off.