Chapter 10
The original Cobra Commander strolled jollily into the bridge of Cobra Command Station with a squadron of the elite Crimson Guard. He had to give his son credit for finding very stupid but extremely talented individuals who couldn't be bought, seduced, or intimidated to betray Cobra. Of course that's what he thought he'd done EVERY time that they betrayed him in some fashion thanks to being bought, seduced, or intimidated! Cobra Commander nevertheless controlled his anger for once and took a look at the huge glittering array of pannels, psychopants, and machinery that even now was ticking down to the next laser canon shot that would reduce some poor foolish nation's finest to moldering slag.
"All rise for the Lord Snakes," one of the Crimson Guard shouted before Cobra Commander grabbed him by the neck and said.
"That is Cobra Commander! We're having a re-org," Cobra Commander said before tossing him away. That was the problem with being a nobleman from Cobra-La, the names didn't sound nearly as intimidating in the translation.
"Ah the true Cobra Commander arrives. I see you've molted recently. I'd say it's an improvement but I rather perferred seeing you crawl on your belly," The Baroness said turning around and Cobra Commander almost had her shot where she stood. Still there was something about that flashing raven hair, those reflecting crystal glasses, and the fact she was so ruthless since she'd arrived inspired Cobra Commander to be generous. He'd just have Destro killed instead of her and be there to comfort her when it was over.
"Baroness not even your half-wit could spoil my day. Look at what my inspired leadership has alot brought to us! Half the nations of the world tremble at our feet begging to be allowed into the Pax Serpentica while the other half futily try to defend themselves from fire in the sky! The traitors have been punished and very soon like a descending Semetic God I will return to the Earth to place upon my head a crown of vine leaves in reward for the great things that have been done," Cobra Commander could practically see it now with a collosus of his to replace the Statue of Liberty and the Cobra Hood in Paris in place of the Eiffel Tower.
"Funny Cobra Commander I was under the impression that you had nothing to do with it," The Baroness looked down to the Earth which seemed unchanged from space despite the massive chaos that had resulted in every channel in the United States being restricted to official use. It was enough to sicken the Baroness Decobray on a very personal level.
"That is a fat lie!" Cobra Commander retorted sharply before looking uneasily at the men behind him. "What I mean to say is while I have been restricted to a strictly behind the scenes position for the most part this last decade I have been insturmental in guiding us back to our present prominence. While I will give credit where credit is do to the many loyal, decent, hardworking, Cobra soldiers who have followed orders through my figurehead..." Cobra Commander gently motioned his hand to the fawning fools about him "It was of course me all along."
Shareware coughed something that sounded like 'dull pit'
"Eh?" Cobra Commander turned to the cybrog.
"Nothing your Eminence....freakingskelatorwannabe....my cybernetics are just picking up some static from the Dreadnoks swamp base," Shareware began to put on screen.
"Excellent, my loyal Dreadnoks. I wonder what they have been up to for the past thirteen years.....errr of course I know being as I sent them out on their many missions in my glory, that were sucessful," Cobra Commander covered his ignorance of the daily operations. He was a vision type individual and while he had always allowed things that were unimportant to be handled by his son like rebuilding his armies, it was his will guiding Cobra as always, even if only by proxy.
***
Zartan walked up to Buzzer's room and turned his head in disgust to the flagrant display of decadence it had become. The very fact that he had managed to make enough money that some poor foolish girl had decided to 'shack up' with him was enough to shake Zartan's faith in a loving god. Of course Zartan had never been particularly blessed but he was sure out there the fawning masses were living a life to their tastes thanks to his influence.
"I don't even want to know about the N'Sync poster," Zartan ripped down the image of the boyband and tore it shreds before trying vainly to clean up the pink clothes and empty beer can infested room until he finally simply pulled the bedsheets off with all of their junk at once. Laying himself down on the now bare King sized bed, Zartan stared up at the ceiling and layed his head then to the side to avoid looking into the mirror that Buzzer had placed there.
'Ten million dollars,' the very figure of it disturbed the mercanary for some reason. It was an impossibly high figure for even one of G.I. Joe's inner circle and it was more money than the Dreadnoughts had from even their biggest paying operations. Zartan would discover what the reason was for the new Commander's interest in the girl was and he'd be sure to use that as a lever to cracking open his skull. The swamp dweller had quite a few things he wished to do before he died including carry on his research in genetics and robotics from a nice darkened mansion somewhere far away from the United States. Perhaps when he'd made his fortune and achieved his revenge he'd buy Cobra Island and build his dream house there, that would be the height of irony.
"Don't make a move Swamp Rat," the voice of the private grunt who'd been travelling with him to this gaudy manor echoed out. Zartan furthermore heard the pistol chamber click which signalled he was probably pointing it at his skull.
"You have got to be joking," Zartan turned his head to look at Playboy. The man's fear was under control but he was obviously terrified of the Dreadnok master, as well he should have been. Zartan could have easily gotten away the weapon and shot the man in the skull before he could do anything but he had been having a relaxing day and was interested in how this particular fool got away from the new recruits to his organization.
"I've never been more serious in my life scumbag," Playboy swallowed the air, he had no idea why the hell Gung Ho and Dialtone had chosen him for this particular part of the mission but he was pretty sure that it was a really stupid idea to point a gun at a man who had once been on the FBI's most wanted for multiple mass murder, espionage, sabotage, and grand theft of illegal ordinance.
"Hahahahahahahahaha," Zartan couldn't help but burst out laughing, it was a frightening thing given the sound of Zartan's voice "Your more pathetic than the posturing peacock whose currently in charge of Cobra!"
"You don't much care for the new administration Zartan? I'd think a loyal stooge like you would be happy with the way Cobra is kicking around the world," Playboy stuck to the script as he moved slightly back to give Zartan some room.
"Stooge? I should kill you right now for that Joe. It was the biggest mistake of my life ever involving myself with the penny-ante antics of Cobra Commander and his only slightly less pathetic successor Serpentor. Serpentor may have been a lunatic anachronism but at least he was an enjoyable one to work for. Cobra has always been the poor white man's excuse for a terrorist organization. It had some good days but that was in spite of the leadership not because of it," Zartan smiled even as he looked at the man and debated on how to kill him.
***
"Dialtone this has got to be the dumbest idea I've seen since Cobra Commander tried to kill everyone with a funhouse," Gung Ho said as he stuck his foot on the hogtied body of Torch, squirming on the ground where the Cajun had beat him silly. The other Dreadnoks in the house might check in any time now and it wouldn't take long for the others to figure out that they were chasing a a bunch of alligators with Dialtone's sensor relay which they'd been tracking the Joe team with. Then again maybe Gung Ho was overestimating their intelligence.
"Well it's about the only idea I can think of Gung Ho and I can only hope that the Cobra leadership is as arrogant, pigheaded, and stupid as the previous one was," Dialtone said as he relayed Zartan's conversation with Playboy up to Cobra Command Station. Sadly, Dialtone couldn't just relay the space stations location to G.I. Joe HQ and have the thing nuked from orbit which had been their original plan along with calling for backup because the Cobra system required codes that beating Torch for would have been too loud to get. Admittadly that Dialtone couldn't think of anything better than mocking the leadership of Cobra in hopes they sent someone to kick Zartan's ass indicated he wouldn't be getting a promotion anytime soon.
"I'm not holding any hopes out for this, that's all I'm saying," Gung Ho lifted up his rifle and made sure it was pointed at the door while he blockaded the window. The very worst that was going to happen to them was that they were going to kill alot of Aussies before they went down themselves, Gung Ho was going to make sure of that.
***
"LESS PATHETIC?! SERPENTOR!?" Cobra Commander nearly pulled out his gun and shot the control pannel as he heard Zartan's words. This affront could not be allowed to go unavenged and he would have it repaid in spades.
"I think he is quite apt in his summation of the situation...Commander," The Baroness chuckled as she drunk in the power of her restored position. There was a part of her which had always long for death and she knew that baiting the sick fool was something that routinely brought her to the inch of doom. It had started with cutting her wrists at age nine, had moved on to the revolutionaries in the country who kidnapped her when she was fifteen, until a seasoned warrior at nineteen she had met with Destro and become his lover.
"Do not try my patience overmuch Baroness. Many a mortal leader has found out that even Cobra Commander's infinite generosity can be taxed to it's limits on the best of days," Cobra Commander took a moment to decide what to do to repay the man who had been his chief commando leader since the early days when he'd begun formulating the revolution to wipe out the million years of festering human civilization to raise something entirely different from the ashes.
"As you wish Commander," The Baroness was pleased to see that he seemed to be much the same man that she'd known when she'd left for all those dark years in prison. Destro had come back an entirely different man who seemed to carry the weight of the world on his shoulders like Atlas rather than defiantly cursing the Heavens as Lucifer.
"Shareware! Turn the space station around and take aim at the source of this communication! Destroy it and everything around it!" Cobra Commander shouted to the cyborg even as the bridge crew trembled at his presence. The crew had been seduced to Cobra by promises of revenge, a better world, wealth, or a simple place to belong by their leader Sharpe. Few of them were prepared for the terrible madness which was born in the turmoil of Cobra Commander's soul. The patriarch of the world's most ruthless terrorist organization was known to be insane to even those closest to them but it was a divine madness whose sheer force of will and desire to transform the world with his own hands was strong enough to actually do so. To know that sort of passion was to be consumed by it and it had led thousands to willingly throw their lives down for him even when it was solely to kill many more.
"Uhhh Commander, we're about to destroy the Loyalist Chinese forces with Jupiter's Thunder. Do you really think..." Shareware started to say before Cobra Commander interrupted him.
"ARE YOU QUESTIONING MY ORDERS!? SHOOT HIM!" The bio-suit wearing dictator pointed as the Crimson Guard lifted up their weapons and took aim, slower than their ungodly speed only because they were perfectly in tune with the knowledge it was fear that the Commander wished to install not death.
"No Master please! I'll do whatever you command!" Share Ware fell to the ground and covered his head, knowing that in his heart he meant what he said despite the stark terror causing his lips to sputter.
"Belay the previous order! I'm glad to see that some discipline still remains within the ranks. Now please kindly point the big death-ray at Zartan's house and snap to the incineration of him like a good boy," Cobra Commander causally waved his hand like he was shooing away a dog.
Share Ware crawled terrified into his console seat and re-adjusted the space station towards the Dreadnoks headquarters as the timer began clicking down towards zero.
"I see you haven't lost your subtlety Commander," The Baroness said off handidly as she sat on the arm of the Cobra Commander's throne.
"Subetly Baroness is the most overrated commodity a leader can possess. It's actually in my memoirs that the best thing a leader can do is scream loudy and carry a big gun. At least until he can afford people who can carry the guns for him," Cobra Commander walked over and sat down in the throne of his son as he placed his hands together and gazed lovingly down at the planet. Twenty years moving from one slime covered anus of humanity from another formulating descent among the peasants of humanity, ten years wearing the skin of an animal, his race extinct but for himself, and it was all worth it to know that the world was HIS.
"C-Commander we're getting another spy report from Agent Iceheart," Shareware said as he examined the countless bits of data that were streaming into his head directly from Cobra's supercomputers.
"Ah yes, the girl whose been assigned to the G.I. Joe unit. An inspired bit of work recruiting that one. Has she delivered the G.I. Joes to the facility yet? I want to feed them to wild animals. No wait we don't have any wild animals in Space. I want to dump them in space with a limited airsupply and watch them explode in a vacuum," Cobra Commander licked his lips under the bio-suit. He'd read for years every single report which came through to Cobra as he plotted and schemed and prepared for the day that he would have his revenge on the entire world which had schemed against him in his five hundred years of life.
"Actually Commander people don't really e...." A young technician started to say before the Cobra Commander snapped his fingers and one of the Crimson Guard shot him in the chest.
"Does anyone else not get whose in charge here? No? I didn't think so," Cobra Commander said, the discipline he'd have to enforce to get the group back into shape would possibly take months. Oh well there'd be thous...no millions....more to replace them when they were finished smashing the resistance down on the Earth. Cobra Commander's first act would be to institute state-run boarding schools and mandatory Cobra Youth programs to train away the culture that parents imposed with their future. In a few generations Cobra Commander would transform the entire planet into the image of a loyal prosperous society with him as it's Emperor, then perhaps he'd turn to space and explore new horizons for conquest.
"At last report she was having the shuttle take them up with a horde of BATS to keep them under control. No this report is about G.I. Joe headquarters. It's pretty choppy and seems to be done in a hurry but the codes seem to check out and it lists the location of G.I. Joe's new headquarters," Shareware was too terrified to actually point out that only 60% of the codes were accurate. If the Commander detected something was wrong he was sure that he'd get himself shot and killed in the process.
"Excellent. Prepare an all out assault under my son's authority. It is time to make a formal statement that G.I. Joe is the inferior to Cobra in battle and leave their bodies ground up into dust for the entire world to see," Cobra Commander relished the chance of watching each member of the cursed team and their successors dying in agony. He'd ordered the pictures of every G.I. Joe and October Guardsman slain in this conflict put in his room above his nest to help see him through the night, it'd probably be the only part he kept when he redecorated.
"Y-yes sir," Shareware said as he made it so.
"You should just blast them off the face of the Earth from orbit Commander. I am sick of seeing our troops slain by that team of nationalist fools," The Baroness said with a sigh, she'd hoped near to hear the name of the super patriot group again.
"I can assure you Baroness that after today the G.I. Joe-Cobra conflict will be a thing of the past. As for burning them from the sky I want you to know that Jupiter's Thunder is far too quick and easy for the delaying of my destiny. Still...." Cobra Commander let his words train off as the laser canon's timer reached zero. The entire station shook as the cloaking device flickered and the unbelievably powerful nuclear blast sailed upon the Earth and Cobra's sensors brought up the image of the dome like explosion that resulted.
"It makes a very pretty fireball doesn't it?"
***
25 seconds later.
"What the hell was that!?" General Hawk shouted as he held onto the table he was nearby. The shockwaves of Jupiter's thunder had echoed in the form of earthquakes as far as Washington D.C. Every single one of the nightmarish device furthermore burned a hole through the ozone which probably would take years to recover from. Still the military man had never been quite so close to the doomsday weapon's activation and needed to be told what America's satelites picked up on the latest usage of it.
"Sir it appears that Cobra Command Station fired their latest blast at the Dreadnok's headquarters in Lousiana. Emergency personell are already moving to deal with the situation created in the cities nearby it," Mainframe ticked off the information as the image came up of the area. All that was left of that section of the bayou was a crater.
"My God. Scarlet, Snake Eyes, Dialtone...Gung Ho..." Duke rattled off the list of names of the people that were on a mission there. Was Cobra actually that insane to use a weapon like this just to kill six G.I. Joe? In his heart Duke actually knew that they were and bit his lip at the prospect of his friends being in that inferno.
"Is there any chance they could have made it out in time?" Conrad asked with a bitter bite of his lip.
"I'm sorry Duke but everything for a mile radius around ground zero is ashes. We had a firm fix on Dialtone's signal when the thing went up. They're gone," Mainframe shook his head even as the rest of the G.I. Team set around the room, mourned. The Starbuster war as it would be so cutely called by the media years later when the wounds had healed was eating up good men like fruit cup at a banquet.
"I'm sorry Duke but we have to think of the living now," General Hawk said, trying to push down his own feelings on this horror.
"Sir, we're getting a response back from Cobra Command. They're sending the full sum of their forces to attack the dummy G.I. Joe location," one of the computer jokeys said up to Mainframe and General Hawk. The men were frankly scared at this point and morale was at an all time low in the United States. General Hawk didn't want to be the man who went down in history as placing the United States under martial law but desertion and escalating tensions made it a question of whether it was the better option to do it now or when he no longer could contain the situation if he did.
"General I'd like permission to lead the assault against the snakes," Duke turned immediately to General Hawk as the Commander of the Military shook his head.
"I need you to help deal with the domestic situation Duke. This is the best break we've had yet if we can capitalize on it right. Colonel Falcon will be the one to lead the assembled G.I. Joe and regular military forces," General Hawk said as he tried not to think of the other reason Falcon was leading the counter-attack. If God forbid the G.I. Joe leader were to fail in this mission then Hawk would need Duke to be there to try a last ditch suicide assault on Cobra Station with a slim chance of suceeding with projected plans.
"Are you sure he's up to this General?" Duke asked his stepfather with all the certainty he could.
General Hawk had been the official military leader of the nation's most top secret team for years and he'd been required to make some uncomfortable decisions in his time, including court marshalling the sun he'd raised to wear the uniform of the Green beret because no one else was qualified to do so. Now he was possibly sending that very same flesh and blood to face the frontlines of the enemy they were losing the war to. General Hawk had last cried at his father's funeral when he was seven and he'd save his next tears for his son only when he was confirmed dead. "Yes Duke, I do. I do indeed,"
***
"So how did you get involved with Cobra?" Tim Layha the technician said on his coffee break. Cobra Command's station's generator was the most efficent nuclear device ever designed by human hands and required tending by the absolute best in the world. Admittadly Tim and the other traitors in the outfit that did tend the power plant weren't the best but they were damn close. The Station worked using the same rocks that were used in the M.A.S.S. device that they'd managed to synthesize and find other pockets of across the Earth but was a hundred times more efficent. It was a massive series of thousands of red glowing rods filling a gravity-less chamber like a chandelier that the pair was currently gazing at through their protective window in the monitoring room.
"It was the usual story I suppose. College graduate prodigy nuclear physicist falls in with the wrong crowd. College graduate nuclear phycisist becomes political radical before they tell her to make bomb. She makes bomb and finds out is loyalty test for big bad super-group. You?" Alexandra Nevens said as she sipped her coffee.
"Gambling debts," Tim said as he heard the door swish open. Alexandra was about twelve years younger than him and a real cutie. He wasn't exactly sure she'd dig an older man who wasn't all that great shakes to look at compared to the virile soldiery about. Buit it was worth a try since he could hold a conversation with her and not get get lost.
"What the..." Alexandra said, looking at the figure standing in the door frame before she barrelled against the side of the computer consoles with a laser blast in her chest. Tim barely got the chance to squeeze his coffee in horror before a blast struck him in the side of the skull and he too hit the ground, dead as a doornail.
Snake Eyes then walked causally in and shut the door behind him before locking it. Snake Eyes looked at the two unarmed civilians who lied on the ground, killed in cold blood before he kicked them away from the computer console. Snake Eyes had never felt guilt for killing servants of Cobra and he wasn't about to start now. Vietnam had ruined the ninja's sense of alot of things but he knew what had to be done here. Cobra had to die.
'Of course it can't be f-ing simple now can it!' Snake Eyes thought as he stared at the computer consoles that unfortunately after a few minutes he was quite certain would never allow him to interfere with Cobra's generator system.
"The code to activate the self-destruct system is 'Gone with the Wind' Snake Eyes," a soft feminine voice said behind him. Snake Eyes spun around, shocked that his senses had not picked up the woman's entrance. He cursed himself when he realized that it was the Commander of the Crimson Guard, Fallen Angel. She was said to be the most deadly assaisin presently in Cobra's aresenal. Still his mind registered her words and signed to her, hoping that she understood what he was saying.
"Why?" Snake Eyes asked in the silent tongue.
"You're lucky Stormshadow's students trained us in that, at least before I advanced beyond them. The Cobra Commander has betrayed the cause that I so dearly wanted to be a part of til I died because of it. He even now is cavorting with one of the enemy like a common sailor with his whore," Fallen Angel gritted her teeth at the scorn that she felt toward the man she'd convinced herself she was falling in love with. Mark her words though he would pay in every drop of his blood and his dream with it.
Snake Eyes tested out the self destruct code and then typed 'N' to the question 'Do you wish to sound an alarm that you are destroying this station Y/N?'
"You will have to kill Cobra Commander himself to make sure that he doesn't turn off the self-destruct system Snake Eyes. It will not take long for technicians in other parts of the station to detect the problems with the reactor," Fallen Angel said with a smile.
"And what about you?" Snake Eyes asked in sign.
"I have my own plans," Fallen Angel chuckled.
-Charlemagne
The original Cobra Commander strolled jollily into the bridge of Cobra Command Station with a squadron of the elite Crimson Guard. He had to give his son credit for finding very stupid but extremely talented individuals who couldn't be bought, seduced, or intimidated to betray Cobra. Of course that's what he thought he'd done EVERY time that they betrayed him in some fashion thanks to being bought, seduced, or intimidated! Cobra Commander nevertheless controlled his anger for once and took a look at the huge glittering array of pannels, psychopants, and machinery that even now was ticking down to the next laser canon shot that would reduce some poor foolish nation's finest to moldering slag.
"All rise for the Lord Snakes," one of the Crimson Guard shouted before Cobra Commander grabbed him by the neck and said.
"That is Cobra Commander! We're having a re-org," Cobra Commander said before tossing him away. That was the problem with being a nobleman from Cobra-La, the names didn't sound nearly as intimidating in the translation.
"Ah the true Cobra Commander arrives. I see you've molted recently. I'd say it's an improvement but I rather perferred seeing you crawl on your belly," The Baroness said turning around and Cobra Commander almost had her shot where she stood. Still there was something about that flashing raven hair, those reflecting crystal glasses, and the fact she was so ruthless since she'd arrived inspired Cobra Commander to be generous. He'd just have Destro killed instead of her and be there to comfort her when it was over.
"Baroness not even your half-wit could spoil my day. Look at what my inspired leadership has alot brought to us! Half the nations of the world tremble at our feet begging to be allowed into the Pax Serpentica while the other half futily try to defend themselves from fire in the sky! The traitors have been punished and very soon like a descending Semetic God I will return to the Earth to place upon my head a crown of vine leaves in reward for the great things that have been done," Cobra Commander could practically see it now with a collosus of his to replace the Statue of Liberty and the Cobra Hood in Paris in place of the Eiffel Tower.
"Funny Cobra Commander I was under the impression that you had nothing to do with it," The Baroness looked down to the Earth which seemed unchanged from space despite the massive chaos that had resulted in every channel in the United States being restricted to official use. It was enough to sicken the Baroness Decobray on a very personal level.
"That is a fat lie!" Cobra Commander retorted sharply before looking uneasily at the men behind him. "What I mean to say is while I have been restricted to a strictly behind the scenes position for the most part this last decade I have been insturmental in guiding us back to our present prominence. While I will give credit where credit is do to the many loyal, decent, hardworking, Cobra soldiers who have followed orders through my figurehead..." Cobra Commander gently motioned his hand to the fawning fools about him "It was of course me all along."
Shareware coughed something that sounded like 'dull pit'
"Eh?" Cobra Commander turned to the cybrog.
"Nothing your Eminence....freakingskelatorwannabe....my cybernetics are just picking up some static from the Dreadnoks swamp base," Shareware began to put on screen.
"Excellent, my loyal Dreadnoks. I wonder what they have been up to for the past thirteen years.....errr of course I know being as I sent them out on their many missions in my glory, that were sucessful," Cobra Commander covered his ignorance of the daily operations. He was a vision type individual and while he had always allowed things that were unimportant to be handled by his son like rebuilding his armies, it was his will guiding Cobra as always, even if only by proxy.
***
Zartan walked up to Buzzer's room and turned his head in disgust to the flagrant display of decadence it had become. The very fact that he had managed to make enough money that some poor foolish girl had decided to 'shack up' with him was enough to shake Zartan's faith in a loving god. Of course Zartan had never been particularly blessed but he was sure out there the fawning masses were living a life to their tastes thanks to his influence.
"I don't even want to know about the N'Sync poster," Zartan ripped down the image of the boyband and tore it shreds before trying vainly to clean up the pink clothes and empty beer can infested room until he finally simply pulled the bedsheets off with all of their junk at once. Laying himself down on the now bare King sized bed, Zartan stared up at the ceiling and layed his head then to the side to avoid looking into the mirror that Buzzer had placed there.
'Ten million dollars,' the very figure of it disturbed the mercanary for some reason. It was an impossibly high figure for even one of G.I. Joe's inner circle and it was more money than the Dreadnoughts had from even their biggest paying operations. Zartan would discover what the reason was for the new Commander's interest in the girl was and he'd be sure to use that as a lever to cracking open his skull. The swamp dweller had quite a few things he wished to do before he died including carry on his research in genetics and robotics from a nice darkened mansion somewhere far away from the United States. Perhaps when he'd made his fortune and achieved his revenge he'd buy Cobra Island and build his dream house there, that would be the height of irony.
"Don't make a move Swamp Rat," the voice of the private grunt who'd been travelling with him to this gaudy manor echoed out. Zartan furthermore heard the pistol chamber click which signalled he was probably pointing it at his skull.
"You have got to be joking," Zartan turned his head to look at Playboy. The man's fear was under control but he was obviously terrified of the Dreadnok master, as well he should have been. Zartan could have easily gotten away the weapon and shot the man in the skull before he could do anything but he had been having a relaxing day and was interested in how this particular fool got away from the new recruits to his organization.
"I've never been more serious in my life scumbag," Playboy swallowed the air, he had no idea why the hell Gung Ho and Dialtone had chosen him for this particular part of the mission but he was pretty sure that it was a really stupid idea to point a gun at a man who had once been on the FBI's most wanted for multiple mass murder, espionage, sabotage, and grand theft of illegal ordinance.
"Hahahahahahahahaha," Zartan couldn't help but burst out laughing, it was a frightening thing given the sound of Zartan's voice "Your more pathetic than the posturing peacock whose currently in charge of Cobra!"
"You don't much care for the new administration Zartan? I'd think a loyal stooge like you would be happy with the way Cobra is kicking around the world," Playboy stuck to the script as he moved slightly back to give Zartan some room.
"Stooge? I should kill you right now for that Joe. It was the biggest mistake of my life ever involving myself with the penny-ante antics of Cobra Commander and his only slightly less pathetic successor Serpentor. Serpentor may have been a lunatic anachronism but at least he was an enjoyable one to work for. Cobra has always been the poor white man's excuse for a terrorist organization. It had some good days but that was in spite of the leadership not because of it," Zartan smiled even as he looked at the man and debated on how to kill him.
***
"Dialtone this has got to be the dumbest idea I've seen since Cobra Commander tried to kill everyone with a funhouse," Gung Ho said as he stuck his foot on the hogtied body of Torch, squirming on the ground where the Cajun had beat him silly. The other Dreadnoks in the house might check in any time now and it wouldn't take long for the others to figure out that they were chasing a a bunch of alligators with Dialtone's sensor relay which they'd been tracking the Joe team with. Then again maybe Gung Ho was overestimating their intelligence.
"Well it's about the only idea I can think of Gung Ho and I can only hope that the Cobra leadership is as arrogant, pigheaded, and stupid as the previous one was," Dialtone said as he relayed Zartan's conversation with Playboy up to Cobra Command Station. Sadly, Dialtone couldn't just relay the space stations location to G.I. Joe HQ and have the thing nuked from orbit which had been their original plan along with calling for backup because the Cobra system required codes that beating Torch for would have been too loud to get. Admittadly that Dialtone couldn't think of anything better than mocking the leadership of Cobra in hopes they sent someone to kick Zartan's ass indicated he wouldn't be getting a promotion anytime soon.
"I'm not holding any hopes out for this, that's all I'm saying," Gung Ho lifted up his rifle and made sure it was pointed at the door while he blockaded the window. The very worst that was going to happen to them was that they were going to kill alot of Aussies before they went down themselves, Gung Ho was going to make sure of that.
***
"LESS PATHETIC?! SERPENTOR!?" Cobra Commander nearly pulled out his gun and shot the control pannel as he heard Zartan's words. This affront could not be allowed to go unavenged and he would have it repaid in spades.
"I think he is quite apt in his summation of the situation...Commander," The Baroness chuckled as she drunk in the power of her restored position. There was a part of her which had always long for death and she knew that baiting the sick fool was something that routinely brought her to the inch of doom. It had started with cutting her wrists at age nine, had moved on to the revolutionaries in the country who kidnapped her when she was fifteen, until a seasoned warrior at nineteen she had met with Destro and become his lover.
"Do not try my patience overmuch Baroness. Many a mortal leader has found out that even Cobra Commander's infinite generosity can be taxed to it's limits on the best of days," Cobra Commander took a moment to decide what to do to repay the man who had been his chief commando leader since the early days when he'd begun formulating the revolution to wipe out the million years of festering human civilization to raise something entirely different from the ashes.
"As you wish Commander," The Baroness was pleased to see that he seemed to be much the same man that she'd known when she'd left for all those dark years in prison. Destro had come back an entirely different man who seemed to carry the weight of the world on his shoulders like Atlas rather than defiantly cursing the Heavens as Lucifer.
"Shareware! Turn the space station around and take aim at the source of this communication! Destroy it and everything around it!" Cobra Commander shouted to the cyborg even as the bridge crew trembled at his presence. The crew had been seduced to Cobra by promises of revenge, a better world, wealth, or a simple place to belong by their leader Sharpe. Few of them were prepared for the terrible madness which was born in the turmoil of Cobra Commander's soul. The patriarch of the world's most ruthless terrorist organization was known to be insane to even those closest to them but it was a divine madness whose sheer force of will and desire to transform the world with his own hands was strong enough to actually do so. To know that sort of passion was to be consumed by it and it had led thousands to willingly throw their lives down for him even when it was solely to kill many more.
"Uhhh Commander, we're about to destroy the Loyalist Chinese forces with Jupiter's Thunder. Do you really think..." Shareware started to say before Cobra Commander interrupted him.
"ARE YOU QUESTIONING MY ORDERS!? SHOOT HIM!" The bio-suit wearing dictator pointed as the Crimson Guard lifted up their weapons and took aim, slower than their ungodly speed only because they were perfectly in tune with the knowledge it was fear that the Commander wished to install not death.
"No Master please! I'll do whatever you command!" Share Ware fell to the ground and covered his head, knowing that in his heart he meant what he said despite the stark terror causing his lips to sputter.
"Belay the previous order! I'm glad to see that some discipline still remains within the ranks. Now please kindly point the big death-ray at Zartan's house and snap to the incineration of him like a good boy," Cobra Commander causally waved his hand like he was shooing away a dog.
Share Ware crawled terrified into his console seat and re-adjusted the space station towards the Dreadnoks headquarters as the timer began clicking down towards zero.
"I see you haven't lost your subtlety Commander," The Baroness said off handidly as she sat on the arm of the Cobra Commander's throne.
"Subetly Baroness is the most overrated commodity a leader can possess. It's actually in my memoirs that the best thing a leader can do is scream loudy and carry a big gun. At least until he can afford people who can carry the guns for him," Cobra Commander walked over and sat down in the throne of his son as he placed his hands together and gazed lovingly down at the planet. Twenty years moving from one slime covered anus of humanity from another formulating descent among the peasants of humanity, ten years wearing the skin of an animal, his race extinct but for himself, and it was all worth it to know that the world was HIS.
"C-Commander we're getting another spy report from Agent Iceheart," Shareware said as he examined the countless bits of data that were streaming into his head directly from Cobra's supercomputers.
"Ah yes, the girl whose been assigned to the G.I. Joe unit. An inspired bit of work recruiting that one. Has she delivered the G.I. Joes to the facility yet? I want to feed them to wild animals. No wait we don't have any wild animals in Space. I want to dump them in space with a limited airsupply and watch them explode in a vacuum," Cobra Commander licked his lips under the bio-suit. He'd read for years every single report which came through to Cobra as he plotted and schemed and prepared for the day that he would have his revenge on the entire world which had schemed against him in his five hundred years of life.
"Actually Commander people don't really e...." A young technician started to say before the Cobra Commander snapped his fingers and one of the Crimson Guard shot him in the chest.
"Does anyone else not get whose in charge here? No? I didn't think so," Cobra Commander said, the discipline he'd have to enforce to get the group back into shape would possibly take months. Oh well there'd be thous...no millions....more to replace them when they were finished smashing the resistance down on the Earth. Cobra Commander's first act would be to institute state-run boarding schools and mandatory Cobra Youth programs to train away the culture that parents imposed with their future. In a few generations Cobra Commander would transform the entire planet into the image of a loyal prosperous society with him as it's Emperor, then perhaps he'd turn to space and explore new horizons for conquest.
"At last report she was having the shuttle take them up with a horde of BATS to keep them under control. No this report is about G.I. Joe headquarters. It's pretty choppy and seems to be done in a hurry but the codes seem to check out and it lists the location of G.I. Joe's new headquarters," Shareware was too terrified to actually point out that only 60% of the codes were accurate. If the Commander detected something was wrong he was sure that he'd get himself shot and killed in the process.
"Excellent. Prepare an all out assault under my son's authority. It is time to make a formal statement that G.I. Joe is the inferior to Cobra in battle and leave their bodies ground up into dust for the entire world to see," Cobra Commander relished the chance of watching each member of the cursed team and their successors dying in agony. He'd ordered the pictures of every G.I. Joe and October Guardsman slain in this conflict put in his room above his nest to help see him through the night, it'd probably be the only part he kept when he redecorated.
"Y-yes sir," Shareware said as he made it so.
"You should just blast them off the face of the Earth from orbit Commander. I am sick of seeing our troops slain by that team of nationalist fools," The Baroness said with a sigh, she'd hoped near to hear the name of the super patriot group again.
"I can assure you Baroness that after today the G.I. Joe-Cobra conflict will be a thing of the past. As for burning them from the sky I want you to know that Jupiter's Thunder is far too quick and easy for the delaying of my destiny. Still...." Cobra Commander let his words train off as the laser canon's timer reached zero. The entire station shook as the cloaking device flickered and the unbelievably powerful nuclear blast sailed upon the Earth and Cobra's sensors brought up the image of the dome like explosion that resulted.
"It makes a very pretty fireball doesn't it?"
***
25 seconds later.
"What the hell was that!?" General Hawk shouted as he held onto the table he was nearby. The shockwaves of Jupiter's thunder had echoed in the form of earthquakes as far as Washington D.C. Every single one of the nightmarish device furthermore burned a hole through the ozone which probably would take years to recover from. Still the military man had never been quite so close to the doomsday weapon's activation and needed to be told what America's satelites picked up on the latest usage of it.
"Sir it appears that Cobra Command Station fired their latest blast at the Dreadnok's headquarters in Lousiana. Emergency personell are already moving to deal with the situation created in the cities nearby it," Mainframe ticked off the information as the image came up of the area. All that was left of that section of the bayou was a crater.
"My God. Scarlet, Snake Eyes, Dialtone...Gung Ho..." Duke rattled off the list of names of the people that were on a mission there. Was Cobra actually that insane to use a weapon like this just to kill six G.I. Joe? In his heart Duke actually knew that they were and bit his lip at the prospect of his friends being in that inferno.
"Is there any chance they could have made it out in time?" Conrad asked with a bitter bite of his lip.
"I'm sorry Duke but everything for a mile radius around ground zero is ashes. We had a firm fix on Dialtone's signal when the thing went up. They're gone," Mainframe shook his head even as the rest of the G.I. Team set around the room, mourned. The Starbuster war as it would be so cutely called by the media years later when the wounds had healed was eating up good men like fruit cup at a banquet.
"I'm sorry Duke but we have to think of the living now," General Hawk said, trying to push down his own feelings on this horror.
"Sir, we're getting a response back from Cobra Command. They're sending the full sum of their forces to attack the dummy G.I. Joe location," one of the computer jokeys said up to Mainframe and General Hawk. The men were frankly scared at this point and morale was at an all time low in the United States. General Hawk didn't want to be the man who went down in history as placing the United States under martial law but desertion and escalating tensions made it a question of whether it was the better option to do it now or when he no longer could contain the situation if he did.
"General I'd like permission to lead the assault against the snakes," Duke turned immediately to General Hawk as the Commander of the Military shook his head.
"I need you to help deal with the domestic situation Duke. This is the best break we've had yet if we can capitalize on it right. Colonel Falcon will be the one to lead the assembled G.I. Joe and regular military forces," General Hawk said as he tried not to think of the other reason Falcon was leading the counter-attack. If God forbid the G.I. Joe leader were to fail in this mission then Hawk would need Duke to be there to try a last ditch suicide assault on Cobra Station with a slim chance of suceeding with projected plans.
"Are you sure he's up to this General?" Duke asked his stepfather with all the certainty he could.
General Hawk had been the official military leader of the nation's most top secret team for years and he'd been required to make some uncomfortable decisions in his time, including court marshalling the sun he'd raised to wear the uniform of the Green beret because no one else was qualified to do so. Now he was possibly sending that very same flesh and blood to face the frontlines of the enemy they were losing the war to. General Hawk had last cried at his father's funeral when he was seven and he'd save his next tears for his son only when he was confirmed dead. "Yes Duke, I do. I do indeed,"
***
"So how did you get involved with Cobra?" Tim Layha the technician said on his coffee break. Cobra Command's station's generator was the most efficent nuclear device ever designed by human hands and required tending by the absolute best in the world. Admittadly Tim and the other traitors in the outfit that did tend the power plant weren't the best but they were damn close. The Station worked using the same rocks that were used in the M.A.S.S. device that they'd managed to synthesize and find other pockets of across the Earth but was a hundred times more efficent. It was a massive series of thousands of red glowing rods filling a gravity-less chamber like a chandelier that the pair was currently gazing at through their protective window in the monitoring room.
"It was the usual story I suppose. College graduate prodigy nuclear physicist falls in with the wrong crowd. College graduate nuclear phycisist becomes political radical before they tell her to make bomb. She makes bomb and finds out is loyalty test for big bad super-group. You?" Alexandra Nevens said as she sipped her coffee.
"Gambling debts," Tim said as he heard the door swish open. Alexandra was about twelve years younger than him and a real cutie. He wasn't exactly sure she'd dig an older man who wasn't all that great shakes to look at compared to the virile soldiery about. Buit it was worth a try since he could hold a conversation with her and not get get lost.
"What the..." Alexandra said, looking at the figure standing in the door frame before she barrelled against the side of the computer consoles with a laser blast in her chest. Tim barely got the chance to squeeze his coffee in horror before a blast struck him in the side of the skull and he too hit the ground, dead as a doornail.
Snake Eyes then walked causally in and shut the door behind him before locking it. Snake Eyes looked at the two unarmed civilians who lied on the ground, killed in cold blood before he kicked them away from the computer console. Snake Eyes had never felt guilt for killing servants of Cobra and he wasn't about to start now. Vietnam had ruined the ninja's sense of alot of things but he knew what had to be done here. Cobra had to die.
'Of course it can't be f-ing simple now can it!' Snake Eyes thought as he stared at the computer consoles that unfortunately after a few minutes he was quite certain would never allow him to interfere with Cobra's generator system.
"The code to activate the self-destruct system is 'Gone with the Wind' Snake Eyes," a soft feminine voice said behind him. Snake Eyes spun around, shocked that his senses had not picked up the woman's entrance. He cursed himself when he realized that it was the Commander of the Crimson Guard, Fallen Angel. She was said to be the most deadly assaisin presently in Cobra's aresenal. Still his mind registered her words and signed to her, hoping that she understood what he was saying.
"Why?" Snake Eyes asked in the silent tongue.
"You're lucky Stormshadow's students trained us in that, at least before I advanced beyond them. The Cobra Commander has betrayed the cause that I so dearly wanted to be a part of til I died because of it. He even now is cavorting with one of the enemy like a common sailor with his whore," Fallen Angel gritted her teeth at the scorn that she felt toward the man she'd convinced herself she was falling in love with. Mark her words though he would pay in every drop of his blood and his dream with it.
Snake Eyes tested out the self destruct code and then typed 'N' to the question 'Do you wish to sound an alarm that you are destroying this station Y/N?'
"You will have to kill Cobra Commander himself to make sure that he doesn't turn off the self-destruct system Snake Eyes. It will not take long for technicians in other parts of the station to detect the problems with the reactor," Fallen Angel said with a smile.
"And what about you?" Snake Eyes asked in sign.
"I have my own plans," Fallen Angel chuckled.
-Charlemagne