Chapter 11
Scarlet let the dreams fill her mind of the warm caresses and sense of comfort that came with being with someone whom you could know would be there for you for every day of your life, no matter what, unconditionally. The Dream transformed itself drastically as in the midst of love she found herself wrapped in a choking vice of a serpent that constricted around her throat and still looked into her eyes with the same adulation and love that it had looked at her when it had been human. Unable to breath Scarlet finally awoke with a start in the bed and stared face to face with the figure that was pointing a pistol at the pair.
"Great," Scarlet kicked the gun from his hands and moved with a somersault over his head. With a grab of his throat, she threw him onto the ground with a thud and wrapped his head in a vice. Taking a look at Jonathan who lied sleeping peacefully for what was probably the first time in years, she tried to shake away the memories that flooded her mind. While her undergarments weren't the best of wear for battle, she donned a robe to the side and dragged her prisoner outside the room as she took the pistol and stuck it into his back.
"Destro, how good to see you again," Scarlet said with a smile even as she poked the gun extremely hard into spine.
"Ah yes Lady Scarlet, I must say this is an unexpected pleasure," the arms dealer's expression was unreadable underneath the mask as always.
"You can can it tin can. Why were you trying to shoot me?" Scarlet was closer to breakdown than she'd ever been in her life. She'd had a good family, a sucessful career, and while she'd faced more dangers than anyone in the world had a right to she was not going to crack because of this situation's...peculiarities.
"On the contrary I wasn't trying to kill you. I was trying to kill him!" Destro said as he searched the hallways for Cobra personell. Unfortunately while Cobra Command Station worked in twenty four hour shifts beyond Earth time, the halls had been deliberately evacuated by the order of their leader.
"Oh," Scarlet let her death grip loosen slightly even as she kept tight on the trigger.
"I can assure you that when I had heard the Commander was debriefing a G.I. Joe this was hard....ahhh!" Destro's head cracked against the bulkheads as Scarlet pointed the gun instead as his face.
"Hardy har har har," Scarlet who had never been a violent woman despite her profession had a very serious urge to execute the man for the hundreds of people that had died because of his weapons let alone the new threat Cobra posed.
"You're right, that was crude of me. I can only blame the sheer insanity of these last past few days for my lapse in manners," Destro rose from the ground and straightened his attire. Destro's current costume was a platnium mask with a glittering chain mail like armor and Dracula like blue cape which cut an impressive figure even if he did look ridiculous.
"Yeah well we're all having a really crappy month if you can believe it. So I take it you don't agree with the new order?" Scarlet didn't like langage but again this was an exceptional set of circumstances.
"You take correctly Lady Scarlet. In the garden of Eden the serpent Ophis tempted Eve to lead Adam to corruption and here the situation seems to be duplicating itself. The Baroness has embraced whole heartedly the family of the Morningstar's crusade and they have restored my holdings, my family name as I negioate once again with the elite of my island, and dangle the carrot of serving an honorable war of conquest to make up for the years of lightless solitude that filled my days in that dark prison I was condemned to," Destro stared at the ground and clenched his fists so tight he was certain he could break them with his gauntlets.
"And?" Scarlet said waving her gun lightly.
"I have lost my stomach for it all. Even if Lady Fortune allowed me the chance to murder all my rivals for the throne of Cobra and I was in charge of the entire world as it's dictator and king, it would be not enough to make up for the endless sameness that I endured in three empty walls and a steel door. It has to stop Scarlet and I will not go back to that cold dark place again!" Destro was on the verge of hysteria and pointed his metal finger at Scarlet, through her and to the figure which lied beyond the metal door.
That Scarlet hadn't expected to hear, she'd never thought prison would make anything out of the slime of Cobra. "You want freedom Destro? It's going to take more than just a pistol to do it. Where are the world leaders being held and what is the key to knocking out Jupiter's Thunder?" Scarlet asked even as she kept the weapon squarley trained on him.
"The Earth's overthrown leadership are located in the flash-tanks down below. The Process is an extensive one but when it is complete then the Earth will be flooded with Cobra sympathizers who will work in both the opposition and the new government to transform the planet into their equivalent of Heaven. A place I won't have to remind you will be my version of Hell and hopefully yours," Destro pointed his finger at Scarlet accusingly. It was impossible to believe but he actually for once had doubts about a G.I. Joe's loyalty.
Scarlet thought about Cobra Commander's...Jonathan's promises. Jonathan had been sincere in offering to take her and her kids, be their father, and make them a part of his family just as surely as he wished to become part of theirs. Scarlet knew that this was a pipe dream though and at heart the man that she still loved was a very sick man. His words about making them princes and all the rest that had sprung from the heart of the words he told her were fantasies born from his delusions and there was nothing real in the end for her or her children or the very world. She'd allowed herself to believe it for a few hours but she'd never accepted it in her heart nor would she ever. "They have to be stopped Destro,"
"Good. I don't know how to disable the death-laser but I believe that problems can be dealt with when the solution presents itself. Come with me to the armory, some captured G.I. Joe prisoners have just been docked onboard, and I believe they will prove quite useful," Destro said as he waved her towards an elevator that was just down the hall.
"Just make sure that I get a decent weapon. I can't stand snake equipment," Scarlet smiled briefly with a sad undertone and looked at the doorway one last time.
"You have no idea how disconcerting it is to hear from Cobra personell how improved their equipment was when they stopped purchasing their weapons from MARS armaments. Then again I must admit for a ninety countries across the Globe, for more than two decades, I was the lowest bidder," Destro gave an ironic stare with his eyes even as they prepared for what was to be the most dramatic rescue the world would ever know.
***
"Has somebody been watching too many Rambo movies in your leadership?" Quick Kick said as he looked at the armaments supply left for the G.I. Joe team and the surviving October Guard. There were grenades, rocket launchers, heavy explosives, tank shells, crates and crates of ammunition, along with a few aircraft missles the martial arts master thought. The little cubby-hole of a Russian bunker dug underneath one of the many ice covered hills contained enough firepower to arm a group ten times the size of the G.I. Joe team.
"After the fall of the Soviet Union Russia was left with more bullets than bread. President Putin wishes to update Russia's military into a less infantry based force and more high tech opponent. Unfortunately that means they have to dispose of as much of this stuff as possible....so giving it to you seemed to be a good idea," Daina said with a smile even as she looked at Quick Kick.
"Great, we're facing the largest force any of us has ever faced yet with Gorbachev-era junk," Flint shook his head even as he checked out one of the rifles.
"Don't mock the weaponry Colonel. The material here was made for the October Guard at it's height and is the solidest yet still around in Russia," Red Star said with a snap to the G.I. Joe leader. Even missing an arm he was a formidable presence in the group and Flint had to express his admiration for the nationalist. Of all the Joes Flint had been the most like him and Red Star hadmany admirable qualities as far as the midwestern leader was concerned.
"Thank you, I'll stick to my javellins. I don't think missle lobbing with my bare hands is exactly the best way to fight the enemy. No offense Chuckles," Lady Jaye looked at the rocket then smiled at the huge blonde.
"Hmmmm?" Chuckles said, looking up as he shook a very large case of grenades.
"Snow Job do you have anything on that old sensor array here?" Flint called even as he simply tossed away the rifle and took the ammunition that would fit into his rifle. Given the Russians stole most of their designs from the G.I. Joe he was pretty sure it would work and if not then he wouldn't last long enough out there to regret the decision.
"Nothing yet Flint. Wait...I think I've got something. Ah jeez. Yeah I've got them alright. They're about an hour a half away but they're packing a third world nation even with a third of the number taken off that Horrorshow claims they took." Snow Job described the sight which looked like the final level of Space Invaders.
"What do you mean claims you Yankee..." Horrorshow nearly pulled Snow Job's head from his body before he was stopped by Firebird, she was something of the team mascott and had been even when she was a little girl.
"Gentlemen...please...shut up," Lady Jaye did her best to be civil to the group.
"What kind of tactics can we expect out of this wacko leading them?" Flint turned to Red Star even as he tried to go over what exactly they could do in an hour and a half that would make any difference in this battle. It and the fact that they had better damn well make him a General for this were the chief thoughts running through Flint's mind.
"Colonel Blitzer is an idiot Master Soldier Flint. If Napoleon were to rise from the grave and attack Russia today then he would attack him head on rather than as his Cossack ancestors would. I must stress to you that to be stupider than they is a feat that requires a great deal Sir," Firebird said as she crossed her arms. Sadly the beauty had inherited her father's biases as well as his skills.
"Okay then since we know he'll attack us straight we can set land mines, prepare the bombs here perhaps as some timed explosives, and perhaps set up the anti-infantry fire to make ourselves a fairly impenetrable fortress," Flint knew that if you had the right equipment and terrain that it was concievable to hold out against the numbers they were going to be facing.
"It's no good Colonel Flint. Blitzer may be a fool but eventually impatience will win in the end and he will simply shell the hilltop we live in to the base dust that formed it. We must deal with their tanks first," Red Star shook his sole remaining fist in the air with anger.
"Yeah I was going to say that," Quick Kick smirked.
"We may be outmatched here Joes but we have...excuse me Joes and Guardsman but we have to hold out hope that we can achieve victory or we might just lay down and die. Now I've got a few ideas which may just buy us some time..." Flint stopped himself in his speech when he noticed that his wife was raising her hand like a gradeschooler who knew the answer to an important test.
"Yes Lady Jaye?" Flint had a bad feeling about this.
"I don't mean to interrupt the testerone flow here about last battles but I think I may have a clue about how to deal with our unpleasant traitors to our newly westernized allies," Lady Jaye smiled to Daina even as Brekhov and his daughter frowned.
"Speak up girl!" Quick Kick said even as the New Englander gave her plan, which of course was brillant but likely to get them all killed.
***
General Orlock Blitzer sat back in the tank as he sent his men forward on the all-out assault to eradicate the last remanent of the October Guard. It was a good feeling to be a General he had to admit and he personally wondered what it would be like to serve Cobra when they were in charge of the world. He knew they didn't hate Jews like the Nazis did and were probably more political extremists like Stalin than ethnic. Orlock didn't particularly like that because you never could know when a political extremist might take you out as a threat but there wasn't much that could be done about that problem he thought.
"MINES!" one of his tank commanders shouted before his vehicle exploded in a hail of dirt.
"Press on!" Orlock shouted as he fired his pistol in the air to signal the men to continue forward. It rather burned him that his lord Rustavich wished to expend so many lives in combat but Orlock knew that the army would always have more where that came from. Furthermore Orlock knew that causalties looked good on budget reports, with a thousand or more he might be able to swing the best equipment for their re-organization when Russia was finally under their control. He wondered if they would invade Chechenya or the Baltic States first. He personally hoped that they invaded the Baltics, he was tired of killing people in the East.
The air filled with red laser blasts as random fire poured from the top of the hill. As expected the front lines absorbed the majority of the blasts from them even as the tanks got into position. The infantry in modern nights existed solely to remove mines and heavy assault weaponry from the tanks as near as Orlock could tell.
"Open fire!" Orlock shouted even as the trees were leveled with a chilling barrage of flame that presumably had wiped out the entire laser armed soldiery in the woods.
"Sir what do you want now?" Major Peter Germaine Ruthven called up, Peter was a minor nobleman's descent that had somehow escaped the purges and made his way up into the ranks of the Army. Orlock wondered if he as a General could have him shot for being a nobleman, he decided not to risk it but it was still a very appealing prospect to see the obnoxious man killed. Orlock had been promoted from a rank and file private thanks to extensive combat time, Peter was simply a fool with an education the Army throught was worthwhile thanks to his Chess abilities.
"Go take a team up to the top of the Hill and remove any survivors. You have my fullest confidence," Orlock said as he sent the man off to what he hoped was his death. There was no fire comming anymore from the hill and Orlock suspected that the October Guard had met their final destruction in the initial barage. After the humiliating near defeat he had suffered at their base before sheer logistics had saved the day, this was almost dissapointing.
Major Ruthven grumbled personally as he selected his hand picked squadron of soldiers from the group to investigate the October Guard. He personally intended to capture at least one alive and convince General Orlock that they were fitting prizes to be presented to the new Czar in Supreme Commander Rustavich. He would then arm the October Guardsman and allow him or her to kill the fat fool so tha he could personally execute them and claim command of the war machine in the region. If the Americans took out Cobra as he expected they eventually would, then he would probably go warlord and claim dominion over a region that wanted out of Putin's shattered territories.
"Sir, it's empty!" his lieutenant called from the bunker as the Major ran up and discovered that indeed there was no sign of inhabitation by the October Guard as they expected.
"It's a A-7 automatic program sir. The Americans invented it in 1985 modifying BATs and we adapted it in 1987. They must have been using a supply of the devices in here to create distracting fire," the Lieutenant explained as Ruthven nodded, not understanding a word of it but feeling he had to seem important.
"They left us a note though! It's in English I think" One of the privates said as Ruthven walked over and pulled the taped picture and yanked it off the wall with all of his might.
"What does it say Sir?" the private asked looking over Ruthven's shoulder even as suddenly all the explosives glowed with about a thousand interlocked timers.
"It says...sucker." Ruthven smacked his face.
***
For the Russian troops which had been sent on the equivalent of a Soviet Snipe Hunt through the woods, the earthquake that they felt was not the harbringer of doom that it was to General Orlock and the entirety of his elite assault force. Instead the troops who had simply decided throwing their lot in with Cobra was the better alternative to their cities being vaporized from space (like everyone thought the Americans would eventually during the Cold War), it was simply another of the unpleasant natural phenemenon that proliferated through Russia.
"So which of you think Orlock is a looney-bird?" Private Varich said as he scanned the air around him for signs of life.
"He is completely mad but we can do nothing, we were assigned to his unit and none of us are heroes," Private Vila said with a shrug.
"You know I read in the Cobra Princible on the internet. You know it's the book that was supposadly written by the New Cobra Commander as a sequel to the old one's Cobra Manifesto? It said that among traitors or malcontents, a person who is the most insane will be promoted to the highest position of power," Private Iryonochka said with a look towards his fellows.
"That thing has got to be a fake. No Cobra would say such a thing," Private Varich said even as he heard a strange noise comming from the trees nearby.
"You never know," Vila said pulling out his rifle and taking aim.
It was instead that the squadron members encountered something that was entirely unexpected on their odd journey and that was the form of a breathtakingly beautiful Valkyrie. The girl who was obviously one of the lost October Guard looked like she'd stumbled through the woods onto the Russian squadron clearly by accident with a frightened look on her face.
"Well it looks like today isn't quite as bad as we thought it would be," Private Varich smiled even as his jaw busted open from the fist that impacted it.
The G.I. Joe and October Guard remnants decended on the twelve and in less than ten seconds, the entire sum of the Russian Squadron was on the ground unconcious.
"That was the most sexist thing that I've ever had to do in my entire life," Firebird murmured as she spat on the Private who had been oogling her.
"It worked didn't it?" Daina defended it as they drug the soldiers to the side to start changing into their uniforms.
"I would have done it myself but I didn't want Flint to kill all these people," Lady Jaye shrugged even as she smiled at the success of her plan.
"Like they'd bother with you," Firebird chose the smallest of the Russians to steal the uniform of.
"Okay Goldilocks, let's you and me step to the side..." Lady Jaye pointed to a nearby grove of trees even as she started rolling up her sleeves for a fist fight. Flint took hold of his wife and was just barely able to contain her. Alison after all was hardly sensetive about her still stunning good looks but it was the proper thing to do to punish youngins who made comments like that.
"Save your energy Jaye, we've got an entire country to rescue," Flint said to her with a half smile.
***
Falcon stared at the desert that was Nevada stretched before him. Personally, while he was here, he had considered taking a bit of time off from this mission to toss craps down in Vegas but he knew that was probably irresponsible of him. Area 51 was the chosen sight for the ambush of Cobra and it was not going to be pretty any which way about it. They were taking a page from WW2 and performing a rather elaborate magic act to give Cobra's damn cloaking device hidden devices a taste of their own medicine. The collected force of G.I. joe's new recruits, all the old veterans they could muster, and a significant sum of the best of every division of the Military were prepared for this attack. He wasn't sure how the Navy fit into all of this but the very fact Shipwreck was annoying him every five minutes with his prattle said they were here too.
"...And that's the time that I saved G.I. Joe from Cobra by telling bed time stories," Shipwreck smiled as Falcon wondered if he'd be forgiven one battlefield execution.
"Yeah Shipwreck, I'm really glad to know about all these fascinating incidents from the past but could you see about those all-terrain attack vehicles there. They're the newest thing we have for assaulting Cobra's new death machines and we need to know if they're working up to speed," Falcon prayed to god that the man accepted his offer before he had to kill him.
"Okay there. Personally speaking we've been in alot worse situations with Cobra than this. Oh sure they may have never killed more people before but what about the time they took over all of the world's television sets? If they hadn't been stopped, then every single one of the young whippersnaps would be saluting Tinky-Winkie Commander like Reverend Falwell said they would," Shipwreck proceeded then to light a cigarette to go work on the Hover Skimmer Z-4's.
"Just think of Jinx in a bikini....and add some other women," Falcon muttered even as he saw something in the distance and pulled out his macro-binoculars.
The sight of the thing decloaking was enough to give Falcon enough pause to actually seriously weigh his options about making a run for it and taking up short order cooking. The Cobra Doom Transport was a space-born shuttle that contained an entire garrison of soldiery for quick deployment anywhere on Earth with enough of their new weaponry, crack troops, and Super BATs. Each garrison had enough firepower in it to subjugate a city the size of New York City within a week and they're were four of them making their 'surprise' attack on Area 51 to wipe out the relatively modest force of G.I. Joe.
"Blubber and Barnacles that's alot of Snakes," Shipwreck said licking his lips and spitting out the sand that blew on him.
General Hawk had seriously underestimated the amount of force that Cobra was able to muster in this assault, not to mention willing. Their ambush was supposed to be an overwhelming victory for the side of the United States with prisoners that could perhaps give some information to take out Jupiter's Thunder above. Instead they were outnumbered even if they had the option of surprise on their side and a three way attack plan. If Falcon chose to attack and Cobra managed to fight their way out of it then he might be not only allowing them to achieve their goal of wiping out G.I. Joe but giving them a massive propaganda victory which just might split the back of Hawk's support in the USA to the point of capitulation. Before the kidnapping of the President Falcon never would have guessed he might live through the last days of his country but now there was the question if the thousands of men at his back were all that was left of the United States military willing to fight to the end.
"What the hell are you waiting for space case? The enemy is slithering into the hole! It's time to drop some damn nukes and blow its nest up!" Sergeant Slaughter who had somehow managed to pass the physical for re-admission into the military ranks shouted from the top of the latest G.I. Joe Desert Tank. A device so experimental and sophisticated they had spent all morning tinkering with it to function in the middle of the desert properly.
Falcon sucked in some of the dusty air and swallowed it. If he retreated with this force they weren't going to get another shot at Cobra in a straight fight no matter how hard they tried. At the very least if they fought Cobra to the last man they would go down as men and not the very slime that these men likened themselves to be. Falcon knew he wasn't going to retreat or order one even if it was down to just him and the entire damn army of Lucifer out there. Pulling out a bull horn, Falcon addressed his troops
"Okay we're going to hit em hard, we're going to hit them fast, and we're going to hit them long. Fire at anything that isn't wearing a United States uniform and keep firing even if your sure everything is dead. This will go down as a great victory for the country that we love because quite frankly there isn't any other option that's acceptable. Gentleman start your engines, cock your guns, and shout....YO JOE!"
The shout that filled the air as Falcon jumped onboard the lead tank and lead the charge deafened the machine's roar as the Battle of Red Sands became immortalized in the history of 20th century warfare for the innovative tactics used by both sides and the sheer savagery with which it was fought til it was won.
Scarlet let the dreams fill her mind of the warm caresses and sense of comfort that came with being with someone whom you could know would be there for you for every day of your life, no matter what, unconditionally. The Dream transformed itself drastically as in the midst of love she found herself wrapped in a choking vice of a serpent that constricted around her throat and still looked into her eyes with the same adulation and love that it had looked at her when it had been human. Unable to breath Scarlet finally awoke with a start in the bed and stared face to face with the figure that was pointing a pistol at the pair.
"Great," Scarlet kicked the gun from his hands and moved with a somersault over his head. With a grab of his throat, she threw him onto the ground with a thud and wrapped his head in a vice. Taking a look at Jonathan who lied sleeping peacefully for what was probably the first time in years, she tried to shake away the memories that flooded her mind. While her undergarments weren't the best of wear for battle, she donned a robe to the side and dragged her prisoner outside the room as she took the pistol and stuck it into his back.
"Destro, how good to see you again," Scarlet said with a smile even as she poked the gun extremely hard into spine.
"Ah yes Lady Scarlet, I must say this is an unexpected pleasure," the arms dealer's expression was unreadable underneath the mask as always.
"You can can it tin can. Why were you trying to shoot me?" Scarlet was closer to breakdown than she'd ever been in her life. She'd had a good family, a sucessful career, and while she'd faced more dangers than anyone in the world had a right to she was not going to crack because of this situation's...peculiarities.
"On the contrary I wasn't trying to kill you. I was trying to kill him!" Destro said as he searched the hallways for Cobra personell. Unfortunately while Cobra Command Station worked in twenty four hour shifts beyond Earth time, the halls had been deliberately evacuated by the order of their leader.
"Oh," Scarlet let her death grip loosen slightly even as she kept tight on the trigger.
"I can assure you that when I had heard the Commander was debriefing a G.I. Joe this was hard....ahhh!" Destro's head cracked against the bulkheads as Scarlet pointed the gun instead as his face.
"Hardy har har har," Scarlet who had never been a violent woman despite her profession had a very serious urge to execute the man for the hundreds of people that had died because of his weapons let alone the new threat Cobra posed.
"You're right, that was crude of me. I can only blame the sheer insanity of these last past few days for my lapse in manners," Destro rose from the ground and straightened his attire. Destro's current costume was a platnium mask with a glittering chain mail like armor and Dracula like blue cape which cut an impressive figure even if he did look ridiculous.
"Yeah well we're all having a really crappy month if you can believe it. So I take it you don't agree with the new order?" Scarlet didn't like langage but again this was an exceptional set of circumstances.
"You take correctly Lady Scarlet. In the garden of Eden the serpent Ophis tempted Eve to lead Adam to corruption and here the situation seems to be duplicating itself. The Baroness has embraced whole heartedly the family of the Morningstar's crusade and they have restored my holdings, my family name as I negioate once again with the elite of my island, and dangle the carrot of serving an honorable war of conquest to make up for the years of lightless solitude that filled my days in that dark prison I was condemned to," Destro stared at the ground and clenched his fists so tight he was certain he could break them with his gauntlets.
"And?" Scarlet said waving her gun lightly.
"I have lost my stomach for it all. Even if Lady Fortune allowed me the chance to murder all my rivals for the throne of Cobra and I was in charge of the entire world as it's dictator and king, it would be not enough to make up for the endless sameness that I endured in three empty walls and a steel door. It has to stop Scarlet and I will not go back to that cold dark place again!" Destro was on the verge of hysteria and pointed his metal finger at Scarlet, through her and to the figure which lied beyond the metal door.
That Scarlet hadn't expected to hear, she'd never thought prison would make anything out of the slime of Cobra. "You want freedom Destro? It's going to take more than just a pistol to do it. Where are the world leaders being held and what is the key to knocking out Jupiter's Thunder?" Scarlet asked even as she kept the weapon squarley trained on him.
"The Earth's overthrown leadership are located in the flash-tanks down below. The Process is an extensive one but when it is complete then the Earth will be flooded with Cobra sympathizers who will work in both the opposition and the new government to transform the planet into their equivalent of Heaven. A place I won't have to remind you will be my version of Hell and hopefully yours," Destro pointed his finger at Scarlet accusingly. It was impossible to believe but he actually for once had doubts about a G.I. Joe's loyalty.
Scarlet thought about Cobra Commander's...Jonathan's promises. Jonathan had been sincere in offering to take her and her kids, be their father, and make them a part of his family just as surely as he wished to become part of theirs. Scarlet knew that this was a pipe dream though and at heart the man that she still loved was a very sick man. His words about making them princes and all the rest that had sprung from the heart of the words he told her were fantasies born from his delusions and there was nothing real in the end for her or her children or the very world. She'd allowed herself to believe it for a few hours but she'd never accepted it in her heart nor would she ever. "They have to be stopped Destro,"
"Good. I don't know how to disable the death-laser but I believe that problems can be dealt with when the solution presents itself. Come with me to the armory, some captured G.I. Joe prisoners have just been docked onboard, and I believe they will prove quite useful," Destro said as he waved her towards an elevator that was just down the hall.
"Just make sure that I get a decent weapon. I can't stand snake equipment," Scarlet smiled briefly with a sad undertone and looked at the doorway one last time.
"You have no idea how disconcerting it is to hear from Cobra personell how improved their equipment was when they stopped purchasing their weapons from MARS armaments. Then again I must admit for a ninety countries across the Globe, for more than two decades, I was the lowest bidder," Destro gave an ironic stare with his eyes even as they prepared for what was to be the most dramatic rescue the world would ever know.
***
"Has somebody been watching too many Rambo movies in your leadership?" Quick Kick said as he looked at the armaments supply left for the G.I. Joe team and the surviving October Guard. There were grenades, rocket launchers, heavy explosives, tank shells, crates and crates of ammunition, along with a few aircraft missles the martial arts master thought. The little cubby-hole of a Russian bunker dug underneath one of the many ice covered hills contained enough firepower to arm a group ten times the size of the G.I. Joe team.
"After the fall of the Soviet Union Russia was left with more bullets than bread. President Putin wishes to update Russia's military into a less infantry based force and more high tech opponent. Unfortunately that means they have to dispose of as much of this stuff as possible....so giving it to you seemed to be a good idea," Daina said with a smile even as she looked at Quick Kick.
"Great, we're facing the largest force any of us has ever faced yet with Gorbachev-era junk," Flint shook his head even as he checked out one of the rifles.
"Don't mock the weaponry Colonel. The material here was made for the October Guard at it's height and is the solidest yet still around in Russia," Red Star said with a snap to the G.I. Joe leader. Even missing an arm he was a formidable presence in the group and Flint had to express his admiration for the nationalist. Of all the Joes Flint had been the most like him and Red Star hadmany admirable qualities as far as the midwestern leader was concerned.
"Thank you, I'll stick to my javellins. I don't think missle lobbing with my bare hands is exactly the best way to fight the enemy. No offense Chuckles," Lady Jaye looked at the rocket then smiled at the huge blonde.
"Hmmmm?" Chuckles said, looking up as he shook a very large case of grenades.
"Snow Job do you have anything on that old sensor array here?" Flint called even as he simply tossed away the rifle and took the ammunition that would fit into his rifle. Given the Russians stole most of their designs from the G.I. Joe he was pretty sure it would work and if not then he wouldn't last long enough out there to regret the decision.
"Nothing yet Flint. Wait...I think I've got something. Ah jeez. Yeah I've got them alright. They're about an hour a half away but they're packing a third world nation even with a third of the number taken off that Horrorshow claims they took." Snow Job described the sight which looked like the final level of Space Invaders.
"What do you mean claims you Yankee..." Horrorshow nearly pulled Snow Job's head from his body before he was stopped by Firebird, she was something of the team mascott and had been even when she was a little girl.
"Gentlemen...please...shut up," Lady Jaye did her best to be civil to the group.
"What kind of tactics can we expect out of this wacko leading them?" Flint turned to Red Star even as he tried to go over what exactly they could do in an hour and a half that would make any difference in this battle. It and the fact that they had better damn well make him a General for this were the chief thoughts running through Flint's mind.
"Colonel Blitzer is an idiot Master Soldier Flint. If Napoleon were to rise from the grave and attack Russia today then he would attack him head on rather than as his Cossack ancestors would. I must stress to you that to be stupider than they is a feat that requires a great deal Sir," Firebird said as she crossed her arms. Sadly the beauty had inherited her father's biases as well as his skills.
"Okay then since we know he'll attack us straight we can set land mines, prepare the bombs here perhaps as some timed explosives, and perhaps set up the anti-infantry fire to make ourselves a fairly impenetrable fortress," Flint knew that if you had the right equipment and terrain that it was concievable to hold out against the numbers they were going to be facing.
"It's no good Colonel Flint. Blitzer may be a fool but eventually impatience will win in the end and he will simply shell the hilltop we live in to the base dust that formed it. We must deal with their tanks first," Red Star shook his sole remaining fist in the air with anger.
"Yeah I was going to say that," Quick Kick smirked.
"We may be outmatched here Joes but we have...excuse me Joes and Guardsman but we have to hold out hope that we can achieve victory or we might just lay down and die. Now I've got a few ideas which may just buy us some time..." Flint stopped himself in his speech when he noticed that his wife was raising her hand like a gradeschooler who knew the answer to an important test.
"Yes Lady Jaye?" Flint had a bad feeling about this.
"I don't mean to interrupt the testerone flow here about last battles but I think I may have a clue about how to deal with our unpleasant traitors to our newly westernized allies," Lady Jaye smiled to Daina even as Brekhov and his daughter frowned.
"Speak up girl!" Quick Kick said even as the New Englander gave her plan, which of course was brillant but likely to get them all killed.
***
General Orlock Blitzer sat back in the tank as he sent his men forward on the all-out assault to eradicate the last remanent of the October Guard. It was a good feeling to be a General he had to admit and he personally wondered what it would be like to serve Cobra when they were in charge of the world. He knew they didn't hate Jews like the Nazis did and were probably more political extremists like Stalin than ethnic. Orlock didn't particularly like that because you never could know when a political extremist might take you out as a threat but there wasn't much that could be done about that problem he thought.
"MINES!" one of his tank commanders shouted before his vehicle exploded in a hail of dirt.
"Press on!" Orlock shouted as he fired his pistol in the air to signal the men to continue forward. It rather burned him that his lord Rustavich wished to expend so many lives in combat but Orlock knew that the army would always have more where that came from. Furthermore Orlock knew that causalties looked good on budget reports, with a thousand or more he might be able to swing the best equipment for their re-organization when Russia was finally under their control. He wondered if they would invade Chechenya or the Baltic States first. He personally hoped that they invaded the Baltics, he was tired of killing people in the East.
The air filled with red laser blasts as random fire poured from the top of the hill. As expected the front lines absorbed the majority of the blasts from them even as the tanks got into position. The infantry in modern nights existed solely to remove mines and heavy assault weaponry from the tanks as near as Orlock could tell.
"Open fire!" Orlock shouted even as the trees were leveled with a chilling barrage of flame that presumably had wiped out the entire laser armed soldiery in the woods.
"Sir what do you want now?" Major Peter Germaine Ruthven called up, Peter was a minor nobleman's descent that had somehow escaped the purges and made his way up into the ranks of the Army. Orlock wondered if he as a General could have him shot for being a nobleman, he decided not to risk it but it was still a very appealing prospect to see the obnoxious man killed. Orlock had been promoted from a rank and file private thanks to extensive combat time, Peter was simply a fool with an education the Army throught was worthwhile thanks to his Chess abilities.
"Go take a team up to the top of the Hill and remove any survivors. You have my fullest confidence," Orlock said as he sent the man off to what he hoped was his death. There was no fire comming anymore from the hill and Orlock suspected that the October Guard had met their final destruction in the initial barage. After the humiliating near defeat he had suffered at their base before sheer logistics had saved the day, this was almost dissapointing.
Major Ruthven grumbled personally as he selected his hand picked squadron of soldiers from the group to investigate the October Guard. He personally intended to capture at least one alive and convince General Orlock that they were fitting prizes to be presented to the new Czar in Supreme Commander Rustavich. He would then arm the October Guardsman and allow him or her to kill the fat fool so tha he could personally execute them and claim command of the war machine in the region. If the Americans took out Cobra as he expected they eventually would, then he would probably go warlord and claim dominion over a region that wanted out of Putin's shattered territories.
"Sir, it's empty!" his lieutenant called from the bunker as the Major ran up and discovered that indeed there was no sign of inhabitation by the October Guard as they expected.
"It's a A-7 automatic program sir. The Americans invented it in 1985 modifying BATs and we adapted it in 1987. They must have been using a supply of the devices in here to create distracting fire," the Lieutenant explained as Ruthven nodded, not understanding a word of it but feeling he had to seem important.
"They left us a note though! It's in English I think" One of the privates said as Ruthven walked over and pulled the taped picture and yanked it off the wall with all of his might.
"What does it say Sir?" the private asked looking over Ruthven's shoulder even as suddenly all the explosives glowed with about a thousand interlocked timers.
"It says...sucker." Ruthven smacked his face.
***
For the Russian troops which had been sent on the equivalent of a Soviet Snipe Hunt through the woods, the earthquake that they felt was not the harbringer of doom that it was to General Orlock and the entirety of his elite assault force. Instead the troops who had simply decided throwing their lot in with Cobra was the better alternative to their cities being vaporized from space (like everyone thought the Americans would eventually during the Cold War), it was simply another of the unpleasant natural phenemenon that proliferated through Russia.
"So which of you think Orlock is a looney-bird?" Private Varich said as he scanned the air around him for signs of life.
"He is completely mad but we can do nothing, we were assigned to his unit and none of us are heroes," Private Vila said with a shrug.
"You know I read in the Cobra Princible on the internet. You know it's the book that was supposadly written by the New Cobra Commander as a sequel to the old one's Cobra Manifesto? It said that among traitors or malcontents, a person who is the most insane will be promoted to the highest position of power," Private Iryonochka said with a look towards his fellows.
"That thing has got to be a fake. No Cobra would say such a thing," Private Varich said even as he heard a strange noise comming from the trees nearby.
"You never know," Vila said pulling out his rifle and taking aim.
It was instead that the squadron members encountered something that was entirely unexpected on their odd journey and that was the form of a breathtakingly beautiful Valkyrie. The girl who was obviously one of the lost October Guard looked like she'd stumbled through the woods onto the Russian squadron clearly by accident with a frightened look on her face.
"Well it looks like today isn't quite as bad as we thought it would be," Private Varich smiled even as his jaw busted open from the fist that impacted it.
The G.I. Joe and October Guard remnants decended on the twelve and in less than ten seconds, the entire sum of the Russian Squadron was on the ground unconcious.
"That was the most sexist thing that I've ever had to do in my entire life," Firebird murmured as she spat on the Private who had been oogling her.
"It worked didn't it?" Daina defended it as they drug the soldiers to the side to start changing into their uniforms.
"I would have done it myself but I didn't want Flint to kill all these people," Lady Jaye shrugged even as she smiled at the success of her plan.
"Like they'd bother with you," Firebird chose the smallest of the Russians to steal the uniform of.
"Okay Goldilocks, let's you and me step to the side..." Lady Jaye pointed to a nearby grove of trees even as she started rolling up her sleeves for a fist fight. Flint took hold of his wife and was just barely able to contain her. Alison after all was hardly sensetive about her still stunning good looks but it was the proper thing to do to punish youngins who made comments like that.
"Save your energy Jaye, we've got an entire country to rescue," Flint said to her with a half smile.
***
Falcon stared at the desert that was Nevada stretched before him. Personally, while he was here, he had considered taking a bit of time off from this mission to toss craps down in Vegas but he knew that was probably irresponsible of him. Area 51 was the chosen sight for the ambush of Cobra and it was not going to be pretty any which way about it. They were taking a page from WW2 and performing a rather elaborate magic act to give Cobra's damn cloaking device hidden devices a taste of their own medicine. The collected force of G.I. joe's new recruits, all the old veterans they could muster, and a significant sum of the best of every division of the Military were prepared for this attack. He wasn't sure how the Navy fit into all of this but the very fact Shipwreck was annoying him every five minutes with his prattle said they were here too.
"...And that's the time that I saved G.I. Joe from Cobra by telling bed time stories," Shipwreck smiled as Falcon wondered if he'd be forgiven one battlefield execution.
"Yeah Shipwreck, I'm really glad to know about all these fascinating incidents from the past but could you see about those all-terrain attack vehicles there. They're the newest thing we have for assaulting Cobra's new death machines and we need to know if they're working up to speed," Falcon prayed to god that the man accepted his offer before he had to kill him.
"Okay there. Personally speaking we've been in alot worse situations with Cobra than this. Oh sure they may have never killed more people before but what about the time they took over all of the world's television sets? If they hadn't been stopped, then every single one of the young whippersnaps would be saluting Tinky-Winkie Commander like Reverend Falwell said they would," Shipwreck proceeded then to light a cigarette to go work on the Hover Skimmer Z-4's.
"Just think of Jinx in a bikini....and add some other women," Falcon muttered even as he saw something in the distance and pulled out his macro-binoculars.
The sight of the thing decloaking was enough to give Falcon enough pause to actually seriously weigh his options about making a run for it and taking up short order cooking. The Cobra Doom Transport was a space-born shuttle that contained an entire garrison of soldiery for quick deployment anywhere on Earth with enough of their new weaponry, crack troops, and Super BATs. Each garrison had enough firepower in it to subjugate a city the size of New York City within a week and they're were four of them making their 'surprise' attack on Area 51 to wipe out the relatively modest force of G.I. Joe.
"Blubber and Barnacles that's alot of Snakes," Shipwreck said licking his lips and spitting out the sand that blew on him.
General Hawk had seriously underestimated the amount of force that Cobra was able to muster in this assault, not to mention willing. Their ambush was supposed to be an overwhelming victory for the side of the United States with prisoners that could perhaps give some information to take out Jupiter's Thunder above. Instead they were outnumbered even if they had the option of surprise on their side and a three way attack plan. If Falcon chose to attack and Cobra managed to fight their way out of it then he might be not only allowing them to achieve their goal of wiping out G.I. Joe but giving them a massive propaganda victory which just might split the back of Hawk's support in the USA to the point of capitulation. Before the kidnapping of the President Falcon never would have guessed he might live through the last days of his country but now there was the question if the thousands of men at his back were all that was left of the United States military willing to fight to the end.
"What the hell are you waiting for space case? The enemy is slithering into the hole! It's time to drop some damn nukes and blow its nest up!" Sergeant Slaughter who had somehow managed to pass the physical for re-admission into the military ranks shouted from the top of the latest G.I. Joe Desert Tank. A device so experimental and sophisticated they had spent all morning tinkering with it to function in the middle of the desert properly.
Falcon sucked in some of the dusty air and swallowed it. If he retreated with this force they weren't going to get another shot at Cobra in a straight fight no matter how hard they tried. At the very least if they fought Cobra to the last man they would go down as men and not the very slime that these men likened themselves to be. Falcon knew he wasn't going to retreat or order one even if it was down to just him and the entire damn army of Lucifer out there. Pulling out a bull horn, Falcon addressed his troops
"Okay we're going to hit em hard, we're going to hit them fast, and we're going to hit them long. Fire at anything that isn't wearing a United States uniform and keep firing even if your sure everything is dead. This will go down as a great victory for the country that we love because quite frankly there isn't any other option that's acceptable. Gentleman start your engines, cock your guns, and shout....YO JOE!"
The shout that filled the air as Falcon jumped onboard the lead tank and lead the charge deafened the machine's roar as the Battle of Red Sands became immortalized in the history of 20th century warfare for the innovative tactics used by both sides and the sheer savagery with which it was fought til it was won.