Carousel
By Wheeljack (Ranie)
((AN: awww thank you ALL for reviewing me! I SO had not expected to get any good reviews! I was really pleased you all like me! So any way lets just say.. you'll be hearing a lot from me sooner or later *grin* and just a warning.. must my stuff is going to be Jackal or Juggernaut related all tho I will do other chars for the other Ghosts fans.. ANY way.. this is a song fic.. the song is . Carousel by Linkin Park I no own the song, LP OR 13 Ghosts I DO own myself tho well. this day in age I don't even think that's possible.. lol plz RnR))
((SOME things may be er.. done wrong but ah well))
Carousel
~~ The Bound Woman ~~
She can't hide no matter how hard she tries
Her secret disguise behind the lies
and at night she cries away her pride
with eyes shut tight, and staring at her inside
People don't know how hard my life really is. They think because I'm beautiful and popular my life would be easy and that I would have NO trouble what so ever. They couldn't be more wrong. Do they even know how much pressure I'm under?
To be perfect?
To be me?
In public I just hold a fake smile on my face and I act like a clueless blond in front of guys but I know about them. They only want me for my looks they have no idea how crap my home life is. How I feel. They only want to use me and abuse me till something better comes along.
I have a boyfriend. At first I thought he was different. I thought he wanted me for my mind and my personality but no.. In the end it seems he only wanted not to be WITH me but IN me. The prom is coming up soon and more pressure is on me that I have to be perfect. I can't shatter there 'perfect' illusions that I'm forced to be.
I'll dump him tomorrow. at the prom
Susan put down her pen and closed her diary a tear falling from her eyes. She let it roll down her cheek as she hugged her knees to her chest. Her sobs drifted into the night lost in the sound Susan Knew all to well. Her parents were fighting again. Her dad was a drunk he'd come home and beat his mother then sometimes he would use her. Just like all those boys wanted to.
She was alone. All alone and that's the way she would have to stay no one could find out about this or they'd look down on her as an outcast. More stress to add to that of home life she was sure of it.
All her friends know why she can't sleep at night
All her family asking if she's all right
All she wants to do is get rid of this hell
Well all she's gotta do is stop kidding herself
I told Jenny and Liz about it and they promised not to tell any one. I hope they don't. Did I do the right thing? Telling them about this?
She thought to herself as more tears rained down and rolled over her cheeks before landing on her bare legs. He night-gown had little dark red spots on from where her rather had cut her with an empty bear bottle a few nights ago when she had refused to lie down for him.
She knew fighting was useless. It was better to just let him do those things to her then leave. So she could cry her eyes out and wish for some one who truly cared for her.
She had been round her grandmothers a few nights ago and the kind old woman asked her what was wrong. How could Susan tell her gran that her own father had been sexually abusing her? As far as the old woman knew her grandchild was a happy loved child at home. And a virgin. The news would kill her so Susan swallowed her pain and just blamed her illness on 'that time of the month'
Susan wanted more then anything to tell her family but the words her father said haunted her. 'Tell anyone and I'll kill you and your mother'
It will be ok it's just a phase. She told herself. Dad said he was going to give up drinking very soon and he said he was sorry and he loved us both. He's right soon we can go back to way it was before he became like that. Then everything will fall into place.
She can only fool herself for so long
She can only fool herself for so long
She can only fool herself for so long
I'm too weak to face me
She can only fool herself
The night of the prom was here. Susan sighed as she looked into the mirror her golden locks framed her soft pale face. Her painted lips turned down in a thoughtful frown as her painted eyes looked into the glass object. She felt like crying but it was no use.. She had to stop kidding herself things were never going to get better.. Never.
She looked at herself she was wearing her fancy prom dress the one her father had gotten her as if to say 'sorry' that word made her think about the meaning.
Sorry I raped you but I'm going to do it again
Sorry I broke your ribs but you got in the way
Sorry I stabbed you with that bottle but my hand slipped
Sorry I drink so much but I'm under so much stress.
Daddy loves you but sometimes we all do things we don't mean..
She frowned at the words he had spoken to her. Every night abuse every day and excuses.. Sorry but this, sorry but that. She had heard it all before day in day out. What did the word sorry really mean? It had been miss used so many times she thought the word 'sorry' was a poor excuse for all the bad things that happened in life.
The doorbell rang. It was Chet he had come to take her to the prom. She sighed and walked down the stairs her father wasn't there of course, he was out getting drunk. Her mother never answered the door in fear some one would ask her why she was in a wheelchair or why she was blind in one eye or why she had cuts all over her arms and legs. Amy knew the answer. her father's rage.
"Hi Chet" she said and her pretty fake smile made it's way to her face to cover the doom and gloom in her mind.
"Hay babe" Chet said.
She hated the way he looked at her. He looked at her chest never into her eyes. She hated his touch. The way he felt her up and down in an attempt to get what he wanted.
The prom had been going on for an hour or so and Chet was already drunk. Like her dad he liked to hurt her when he was drunk. He put his arms around her and felt up her dress as they danced to a slow song.
"Dave I don't want this.." Susan's voice was weak and scared.
"Well I do" he pushed his hand up further.
"NO!" She yelled.
People looked at her and she blushed. None of them cared and they went back to there own business all but one. A boy that Susan had a really big soft spot for, Billy walked over to them and pulled Chet away. Chet glared at Billy.
"The lady said 'no'" Billy said as Susan stood behind him.
"YOU WHORE! Have you been seeing this punk behind my back?" He hissed in a drunken slur.
"No!" she barely got out.
"DON'T LIE TO ME!" Chet shoved Billy out the way and with one movement he punched Susan in the face.
She fell down and began to cry. Every one in the room now had their eyes on the scene. She couldn't take this.. She ran.. She ran out of there and into the changing rooms.
When I look into your eyes theirs nothing left to see. Nothing but my own mistakes staring back at me.. She spoke softly, as she looked in the mirror he hand gently trailing over the newly forming bruise.
The door to the room swung open and there stood Chet an evil smile on his lips. Susan was backed up against the wall and began to weep.
"Please Chet! Don't hurt me!"
"Why shouldn't I bitch?" He slapped her and again she stumbled to the floor.
While she was on the floor Chet took his tie and bound her wrists together behind her back and pulled her up by her hair. She screamed in pain and was giving a short sharp blow to the face with his hand again.
"SHUT UP!" He hissed and pushed her had against the wall and leaned onto her.
"Your not worth it.. I should do the world a favour and end your life!" He pulled out a rope from his pocket.
He had planned this she thought as she tried to kick free. Chet tied the rope into a hang mans knot and placed it around her neck. He then dragged her by her hair along the peaceful deserted halls to the roof. He fixed one end of the rope to the roof's railings and made her sit on them.
"This is the end you cheap little whore" He pushed his lips against hers and she bit back.
Blood dripped out of the boy's mouth as he cussed and backed away in surprise. Susan allowed herself the one smile she had ever gave that was truly happy. Soon all this pain would end. No more dad, school or Chet. She thought about her mother and whispered 'sorry' and the whole meaning of sorry came to her. She was sorry and she would never do ANYTHING again.
"Bye bitch!" Chet shoved her off the roof.
She closed her eyes and no scream escaped her lips. She would not let him get the better of her even as she was about to die. The rope tightened and her neck snapped. The crack made an echo that seemed to go for miles when in fact no one heard.
I never know just why you run
So far away, far away from me
I never know just why you run
So far away, far away from me
The TV flashed on and the wheelchair rolled towards it. Meera, Susan's mother watched the screen with a heavy heart. A picture of Amy at the age of 16 showed on the screen and the woman cried in pain.
"Reports show that Susan LeGrow's body has been found in the local school's football field it seems that the young girl had been strangled to death " the mans voice boomed.
"Oh my baby girl.. I miss you.. But one day I'll join you and we can be free together.."
A week later.
Meera looked up from her book and gazed at the screen with some amusement the news was on yet again. A smile graced the woman's lips.
"That's a girl" she whispered.
"Today the bodies of Sid LeGrow and Chet Jenkins have been found burnt in the local schools incinerator.. Experts of still trying to find out the cause.."
Only in death do we find ourselves and by then it's too late
END OF PART ONE
Ok the rest of the story and song will be coming up soon :)
By Wheeljack (Ranie)
((AN: awww thank you ALL for reviewing me! I SO had not expected to get any good reviews! I was really pleased you all like me! So any way lets just say.. you'll be hearing a lot from me sooner or later *grin* and just a warning.. must my stuff is going to be Jackal or Juggernaut related all tho I will do other chars for the other Ghosts fans.. ANY way.. this is a song fic.. the song is . Carousel by Linkin Park I no own the song, LP OR 13 Ghosts I DO own myself tho well. this day in age I don't even think that's possible.. lol plz RnR))
((SOME things may be er.. done wrong but ah well))
Carousel
~~ The Bound Woman ~~
She can't hide no matter how hard she tries
Her secret disguise behind the lies
and at night she cries away her pride
with eyes shut tight, and staring at her inside
People don't know how hard my life really is. They think because I'm beautiful and popular my life would be easy and that I would have NO trouble what so ever. They couldn't be more wrong. Do they even know how much pressure I'm under?
To be perfect?
To be me?
In public I just hold a fake smile on my face and I act like a clueless blond in front of guys but I know about them. They only want me for my looks they have no idea how crap my home life is. How I feel. They only want to use me and abuse me till something better comes along.
I have a boyfriend. At first I thought he was different. I thought he wanted me for my mind and my personality but no.. In the end it seems he only wanted not to be WITH me but IN me. The prom is coming up soon and more pressure is on me that I have to be perfect. I can't shatter there 'perfect' illusions that I'm forced to be.
I'll dump him tomorrow. at the prom
Susan put down her pen and closed her diary a tear falling from her eyes. She let it roll down her cheek as she hugged her knees to her chest. Her sobs drifted into the night lost in the sound Susan Knew all to well. Her parents were fighting again. Her dad was a drunk he'd come home and beat his mother then sometimes he would use her. Just like all those boys wanted to.
She was alone. All alone and that's the way she would have to stay no one could find out about this or they'd look down on her as an outcast. More stress to add to that of home life she was sure of it.
All her friends know why she can't sleep at night
All her family asking if she's all right
All she wants to do is get rid of this hell
Well all she's gotta do is stop kidding herself
I told Jenny and Liz about it and they promised not to tell any one. I hope they don't. Did I do the right thing? Telling them about this?
She thought to herself as more tears rained down and rolled over her cheeks before landing on her bare legs. He night-gown had little dark red spots on from where her rather had cut her with an empty bear bottle a few nights ago when she had refused to lie down for him.
She knew fighting was useless. It was better to just let him do those things to her then leave. So she could cry her eyes out and wish for some one who truly cared for her.
She had been round her grandmothers a few nights ago and the kind old woman asked her what was wrong. How could Susan tell her gran that her own father had been sexually abusing her? As far as the old woman knew her grandchild was a happy loved child at home. And a virgin. The news would kill her so Susan swallowed her pain and just blamed her illness on 'that time of the month'
Susan wanted more then anything to tell her family but the words her father said haunted her. 'Tell anyone and I'll kill you and your mother'
It will be ok it's just a phase. She told herself. Dad said he was going to give up drinking very soon and he said he was sorry and he loved us both. He's right soon we can go back to way it was before he became like that. Then everything will fall into place.
She can only fool herself for so long
She can only fool herself for so long
She can only fool herself for so long
I'm too weak to face me
She can only fool herself
The night of the prom was here. Susan sighed as she looked into the mirror her golden locks framed her soft pale face. Her painted lips turned down in a thoughtful frown as her painted eyes looked into the glass object. She felt like crying but it was no use.. She had to stop kidding herself things were never going to get better.. Never.
She looked at herself she was wearing her fancy prom dress the one her father had gotten her as if to say 'sorry' that word made her think about the meaning.
Sorry I raped you but I'm going to do it again
Sorry I broke your ribs but you got in the way
Sorry I stabbed you with that bottle but my hand slipped
Sorry I drink so much but I'm under so much stress.
Daddy loves you but sometimes we all do things we don't mean..
She frowned at the words he had spoken to her. Every night abuse every day and excuses.. Sorry but this, sorry but that. She had heard it all before day in day out. What did the word sorry really mean? It had been miss used so many times she thought the word 'sorry' was a poor excuse for all the bad things that happened in life.
The doorbell rang. It was Chet he had come to take her to the prom. She sighed and walked down the stairs her father wasn't there of course, he was out getting drunk. Her mother never answered the door in fear some one would ask her why she was in a wheelchair or why she was blind in one eye or why she had cuts all over her arms and legs. Amy knew the answer. her father's rage.
"Hi Chet" she said and her pretty fake smile made it's way to her face to cover the doom and gloom in her mind.
"Hay babe" Chet said.
She hated the way he looked at her. He looked at her chest never into her eyes. She hated his touch. The way he felt her up and down in an attempt to get what he wanted.
The prom had been going on for an hour or so and Chet was already drunk. Like her dad he liked to hurt her when he was drunk. He put his arms around her and felt up her dress as they danced to a slow song.
"Dave I don't want this.." Susan's voice was weak and scared.
"Well I do" he pushed his hand up further.
"NO!" She yelled.
People looked at her and she blushed. None of them cared and they went back to there own business all but one. A boy that Susan had a really big soft spot for, Billy walked over to them and pulled Chet away. Chet glared at Billy.
"The lady said 'no'" Billy said as Susan stood behind him.
"YOU WHORE! Have you been seeing this punk behind my back?" He hissed in a drunken slur.
"No!" she barely got out.
"DON'T LIE TO ME!" Chet shoved Billy out the way and with one movement he punched Susan in the face.
She fell down and began to cry. Every one in the room now had their eyes on the scene. She couldn't take this.. She ran.. She ran out of there and into the changing rooms.
When I look into your eyes theirs nothing left to see. Nothing but my own mistakes staring back at me.. She spoke softly, as she looked in the mirror he hand gently trailing over the newly forming bruise.
The door to the room swung open and there stood Chet an evil smile on his lips. Susan was backed up against the wall and began to weep.
"Please Chet! Don't hurt me!"
"Why shouldn't I bitch?" He slapped her and again she stumbled to the floor.
While she was on the floor Chet took his tie and bound her wrists together behind her back and pulled her up by her hair. She screamed in pain and was giving a short sharp blow to the face with his hand again.
"SHUT UP!" He hissed and pushed her had against the wall and leaned onto her.
"Your not worth it.. I should do the world a favour and end your life!" He pulled out a rope from his pocket.
He had planned this she thought as she tried to kick free. Chet tied the rope into a hang mans knot and placed it around her neck. He then dragged her by her hair along the peaceful deserted halls to the roof. He fixed one end of the rope to the roof's railings and made her sit on them.
"This is the end you cheap little whore" He pushed his lips against hers and she bit back.
Blood dripped out of the boy's mouth as he cussed and backed away in surprise. Susan allowed herself the one smile she had ever gave that was truly happy. Soon all this pain would end. No more dad, school or Chet. She thought about her mother and whispered 'sorry' and the whole meaning of sorry came to her. She was sorry and she would never do ANYTHING again.
"Bye bitch!" Chet shoved her off the roof.
She closed her eyes and no scream escaped her lips. She would not let him get the better of her even as she was about to die. The rope tightened and her neck snapped. The crack made an echo that seemed to go for miles when in fact no one heard.
I never know just why you run
So far away, far away from me
I never know just why you run
So far away, far away from me
The TV flashed on and the wheelchair rolled towards it. Meera, Susan's mother watched the screen with a heavy heart. A picture of Amy at the age of 16 showed on the screen and the woman cried in pain.
"Reports show that Susan LeGrow's body has been found in the local school's football field it seems that the young girl had been strangled to death " the mans voice boomed.
"Oh my baby girl.. I miss you.. But one day I'll join you and we can be free together.."
A week later.
Meera looked up from her book and gazed at the screen with some amusement the news was on yet again. A smile graced the woman's lips.
"That's a girl" she whispered.
"Today the bodies of Sid LeGrow and Chet Jenkins have been found burnt in the local schools incinerator.. Experts of still trying to find out the cause.."
Only in death do we find ourselves and by then it's too late
END OF PART ONE
Ok the rest of the story and song will be coming up soon :)