Disclaimer: All the characters belong to Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy, Fox,
etc... except of course the ones I make up.
Summary: While Dawn is dealing with balancing school, slaying and dating, Buffy and Spike are dealing with their relation. And all together they are dealing with impending apocalypse.
Spoilers: Well, it takes place about a year and a half after "Normal Again", but it's pretty AU. Xander and Anya are married and Tara is alive.
Continuity: It's the sequel to "The Delegation of Aurelius". However, you don't really need to read it to understand this fic. It sort of just picks up where "TDoA" left off.
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APOCALYPSE NOW... AGAIN
Chapter 17: Trouble in Paradise
It had been one week; one whole entire week where nothing exceptionally insane had happened. It was Friday, Buffy's favorite day of the week and she had nothing to do that was "evil-related". Well, there was that one thing, but being with Spike never was a problem.
The Slayer laid back on her bed, sighed heavily, and her eyes drooped shut. They had been researching intensely, and everyday it seemed like something knew came up. And of course there was the patrolling, but that was nothing new. And there had also been the sex... the amazing sex which Buffy never seemed to grow tired of. But right now, all there was, was herself and her bed and rest.
Until, of course, there was a loud and most obnoxious knock on her door. Buffy opened her eyes and looked at it with an anger that she hadn't felt in weeks.
"Not five minutes," she mumbled no one and everyone at the same time. "Come in!" She called with a mock pleasantness.
Anya opened the door cautiously, she and Xander had come over for dinner. "Oh good, you're not sleeping. Otherwise I would have had to wake you. And I need to talk to you."
Buffy sat up heavily and motioned for Anya to come sit next to her. She agreed only because she didn't feel like getting into a whole thing with upsetting the hormonal pregnant lady.
"I don't think you're treating Spike very well," Anya told her bluntly as she plopped down next to her on the bed.
"What? How can you say that?"
"Okay, it's not that you don't treat him well, it's more like, he's not been feeling very good about himself, and you aren't helping."
"I can't believe that you have the audacity to-"
"Oh Buffy, don't act so surprised. I mean, do you love him?"
Buffy's face was reddening more and more by the second. "Of course I love him!" She told her seriously through gritted teeth.
"Then why can't you see that he's hurting?"
Buffy was completely taken aback? Spike? Hurting? Were they talking about the same man? Spike hadn't shown any signs of pain or frustration, or at least not the usual ones. Unless...
"Did he say something to you?"
"Yes. And Xander."
"AND Xander?" Buffy asked totally shocked. "Why would he tell you guys and not me? Does he feel like he can't come to me?"
"He might," Anya told her frankly, with little emotion. "I mean, he's probably afraid of you. And can you blame him? You can be rather intimidating."
Buffy was at a loss for words. "Do you really think I... frighten him?" She struggled to say the words. She couldn't believe what she was hearing. She loved him with every inch of her being. She was pretty sure he knew that, she told him often enough, and certainly showed him often enough. What was wrong? Why couldn't he come to her when he was hurt?
"I-I don't m-mean to frighten him," Buffy stuttered as her eyes filled with tears.
Anya cocked her head and rolled her eyes at the Slayer. "Come on, don't get all blubbery. I'm just saying that you really need to talk to him. Okay?" She asked perkily, patting Buffy on the shoulder and leaving her alone with her rather morose thoughts.
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Spike climbed into Buffy's bed and gave her a sweet kiss on the shoulder. "Night, love."
Buffy began to ball harder than she thought she had ever cried in her entire life. Spike was startled by her sudden choking sobs and immediately questioned her state.
"Buffy, pet, what's the matter?"
"Anya-sob-said-sob-that-sob-you don't know-sob-how much-sob-I-sob-love you!"
"Oh Buffy," he said, taking her into his muscular arms. "I know, I know."
Buffy's hysteria began to quiet as she felt Spike's hands softly caressing her back. He does know, she insisted to herself. He knows damn well.
"You know, I love Anya, but she can be... a bit blunt at times. You shouldn't think anything of it."
"Then why didn't you tell *me* when you were in pain."
Spike stopped rubbing her back as he pulled away so that he could look at her. "What?"
"Do you think you can't come to me?"
Spike looked around sheepishly, avoiding her gaze. "Buffy I-"
"Spike, please tell me the truth."
The vampire sighed unnecessarily and looked at his lover. "I don't know Buffy."
A fresh batch of tears fell from the slayer's eyes. "How can you say that? I love you so much, Spike. I'd do anything for you and you can't even trust me with your problems? How am I even supposed to trust you if you don't come to me?"
"Buffy it's not you, it's me," Spike checked himself before his little speech became a whole string of clichés. "Buffy, I trust you. And I want to be able to come to you, and it's not that I don't think I can, I just wasn't ready I guess. You know, to tell you what was going on with me."
"I wish I didn't have to hear it from Anya," Buffy mumbled.
"I know, and I'm sorry it happened that way."
"I know, but Spike, when I came back from- when I came back, you were so there for me. You listened to me and if it weren't for you I think I'd have rather been dead. I want to be that for you. I want to be understanding the way you were. But I can't if you don't talk to me."
"I know, and I want to talk to you, I do. But, I'm still not ready Buffy. If you love me as much as you say you do, then you can wait for when I am ready to tell you what I have to."
"Is this an ultimatum? I wait or I'm somehow saying that I don't love you?"
"No. I don't mean-"
"Because I have had enough ultimatums for an... ever and it's not fair for you to do this."
"Do what, Buffy? Sometimes I just have to do what I know what's right for me? I give everything for you and Dawn and you can't just give me a little bit of time?"
"Time? TIME? We don't have time, Spike. If I was Ms. Jane Normal, then we could have some time but as far as I'm concerned all we have is now. I think that's a fair conclusion for me to make since I've died twice."
"I died too, remember."
"But you came back."
"Not the same."
"It's never the same the second time. I don't feel like talking about this anymore. Until you feel like talking, I just don't want to talk," Buffy told him coldly as she turned off her bedside lamp and rolled over.
Spike was blown away. He couldn't understand why she couldn't be more understanding. He was so angry he thought he might scream but instead he just got out of the bed and put on his clothes. As he walked toward the door to leave, Buffy spoke.
"Where are you going?"
"I thought you didn't want to talk," Spike answered angrily as he shut the door behind him.
TBC...
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Please, please, please review!!!
Summary: While Dawn is dealing with balancing school, slaying and dating, Buffy and Spike are dealing with their relation. And all together they are dealing with impending apocalypse.
Spoilers: Well, it takes place about a year and a half after "Normal Again", but it's pretty AU. Xander and Anya are married and Tara is alive.
Continuity: It's the sequel to "The Delegation of Aurelius". However, you don't really need to read it to understand this fic. It sort of just picks up where "TDoA" left off.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
APOCALYPSE NOW... AGAIN
Chapter 17: Trouble in Paradise
It had been one week; one whole entire week where nothing exceptionally insane had happened. It was Friday, Buffy's favorite day of the week and she had nothing to do that was "evil-related". Well, there was that one thing, but being with Spike never was a problem.
The Slayer laid back on her bed, sighed heavily, and her eyes drooped shut. They had been researching intensely, and everyday it seemed like something knew came up. And of course there was the patrolling, but that was nothing new. And there had also been the sex... the amazing sex which Buffy never seemed to grow tired of. But right now, all there was, was herself and her bed and rest.
Until, of course, there was a loud and most obnoxious knock on her door. Buffy opened her eyes and looked at it with an anger that she hadn't felt in weeks.
"Not five minutes," she mumbled no one and everyone at the same time. "Come in!" She called with a mock pleasantness.
Anya opened the door cautiously, she and Xander had come over for dinner. "Oh good, you're not sleeping. Otherwise I would have had to wake you. And I need to talk to you."
Buffy sat up heavily and motioned for Anya to come sit next to her. She agreed only because she didn't feel like getting into a whole thing with upsetting the hormonal pregnant lady.
"I don't think you're treating Spike very well," Anya told her bluntly as she plopped down next to her on the bed.
"What? How can you say that?"
"Okay, it's not that you don't treat him well, it's more like, he's not been feeling very good about himself, and you aren't helping."
"I can't believe that you have the audacity to-"
"Oh Buffy, don't act so surprised. I mean, do you love him?"
Buffy's face was reddening more and more by the second. "Of course I love him!" She told her seriously through gritted teeth.
"Then why can't you see that he's hurting?"
Buffy was completely taken aback? Spike? Hurting? Were they talking about the same man? Spike hadn't shown any signs of pain or frustration, or at least not the usual ones. Unless...
"Did he say something to you?"
"Yes. And Xander."
"AND Xander?" Buffy asked totally shocked. "Why would he tell you guys and not me? Does he feel like he can't come to me?"
"He might," Anya told her frankly, with little emotion. "I mean, he's probably afraid of you. And can you blame him? You can be rather intimidating."
Buffy was at a loss for words. "Do you really think I... frighten him?" She struggled to say the words. She couldn't believe what she was hearing. She loved him with every inch of her being. She was pretty sure he knew that, she told him often enough, and certainly showed him often enough. What was wrong? Why couldn't he come to her when he was hurt?
"I-I don't m-mean to frighten him," Buffy stuttered as her eyes filled with tears.
Anya cocked her head and rolled her eyes at the Slayer. "Come on, don't get all blubbery. I'm just saying that you really need to talk to him. Okay?" She asked perkily, patting Buffy on the shoulder and leaving her alone with her rather morose thoughts.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Spike climbed into Buffy's bed and gave her a sweet kiss on the shoulder. "Night, love."
Buffy began to ball harder than she thought she had ever cried in her entire life. Spike was startled by her sudden choking sobs and immediately questioned her state.
"Buffy, pet, what's the matter?"
"Anya-sob-said-sob-that-sob-you don't know-sob-how much-sob-I-sob-love you!"
"Oh Buffy," he said, taking her into his muscular arms. "I know, I know."
Buffy's hysteria began to quiet as she felt Spike's hands softly caressing her back. He does know, she insisted to herself. He knows damn well.
"You know, I love Anya, but she can be... a bit blunt at times. You shouldn't think anything of it."
"Then why didn't you tell *me* when you were in pain."
Spike stopped rubbing her back as he pulled away so that he could look at her. "What?"
"Do you think you can't come to me?"
Spike looked around sheepishly, avoiding her gaze. "Buffy I-"
"Spike, please tell me the truth."
The vampire sighed unnecessarily and looked at his lover. "I don't know Buffy."
A fresh batch of tears fell from the slayer's eyes. "How can you say that? I love you so much, Spike. I'd do anything for you and you can't even trust me with your problems? How am I even supposed to trust you if you don't come to me?"
"Buffy it's not you, it's me," Spike checked himself before his little speech became a whole string of clichés. "Buffy, I trust you. And I want to be able to come to you, and it's not that I don't think I can, I just wasn't ready I guess. You know, to tell you what was going on with me."
"I wish I didn't have to hear it from Anya," Buffy mumbled.
"I know, and I'm sorry it happened that way."
"I know, but Spike, when I came back from- when I came back, you were so there for me. You listened to me and if it weren't for you I think I'd have rather been dead. I want to be that for you. I want to be understanding the way you were. But I can't if you don't talk to me."
"I know, and I want to talk to you, I do. But, I'm still not ready Buffy. If you love me as much as you say you do, then you can wait for when I am ready to tell you what I have to."
"Is this an ultimatum? I wait or I'm somehow saying that I don't love you?"
"No. I don't mean-"
"Because I have had enough ultimatums for an... ever and it's not fair for you to do this."
"Do what, Buffy? Sometimes I just have to do what I know what's right for me? I give everything for you and Dawn and you can't just give me a little bit of time?"
"Time? TIME? We don't have time, Spike. If I was Ms. Jane Normal, then we could have some time but as far as I'm concerned all we have is now. I think that's a fair conclusion for me to make since I've died twice."
"I died too, remember."
"But you came back."
"Not the same."
"It's never the same the second time. I don't feel like talking about this anymore. Until you feel like talking, I just don't want to talk," Buffy told him coldly as she turned off her bedside lamp and rolled over.
Spike was blown away. He couldn't understand why she couldn't be more understanding. He was so angry he thought he might scream but instead he just got out of the bed and put on his clothes. As he walked toward the door to leave, Buffy spoke.
"Where are you going?"
"I thought you didn't want to talk," Spike answered angrily as he shut the door behind him.
TBC...
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Please, please, please review!!!