Disclaimer: All the characters belong to Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy, Fox,
etc... except of course the ones I make up.
Summary: While Dawn is dealing with balancing school, slaying and dating, Buffy and Spike are dealing with their relation. And all together they are dealing with impending apocalypse.
Spoilers: Well, it takes place about a year and a half after "Normal Again", but it's pretty AU. Xander and Anya are married and Tara is alive.
Continuity: It's the sequel to "The Delegation of Aurelius". However, you don't really need to read it to understand this fic. It sort of just picks up where "TDoA" left off.
A/n: I am so sorry it took this long to update. Please try to understand thought, I am still in High School and it's very hard for me to find the time to write. I do whenever I can and I update as much as I can. Please stick with this because there's more dramatic, romantic, and actiony fun to come! Also, a huge thank you to everyone who reviewed!
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APOCALYPSE NOW... AGAIN
Chapter 18: Confrontation and Salt
The Slayer quietly crept into the crypt and closed the door with a loud squeak behind her. She looked around at the disarray she saw before. Spike had been there so little in the past few months that he hadn't bothered to maintain cleanliness. She walked further in and saw that the vampire was no where in sight. Being as how it was six o'clock in the, he couldn't be out unless he was just coming back from a midday stroll through the tunnels, but the Slayer knew that that was rather unlikely.
She climbed down as quietly as she could to the lower level of the crypt. She looked around and thought to herself how long it had been since she had been in the crypt. Her eyes eventually fell upon the sleeping vampire. She cocked her head and sighed at his restless sight, feeling terrible about how he tossed and turned. She still couldn't believe what had happened the night before.
She took a step toward Spike and stepped on a root that made a crunching noise beneath her foot. The vampire jerked awake.
"Dawn?"
"Hey," she replied sheepishly. "Sorry I woke you."
"It's okay. I wasn't sleeping all that well anyway." He scratched the back of his head and avoided Dawn's eyes. "So what are you doing here?"
She shrugged and walked over to the bed. She hopped up on it and bounced to a stop before answering him. "I came to see you."
"Well obviously, pet, not many others that you'd know would be expected to be here. I'm asking why you came to see me."
Dawn sighed. "Buffy's pretty mad at you."
"Oh is she now?" Spike asked, grimacing as he stood from the bed. "Queen Buffy is upset! What ever shall we do?" He said with mock concern, flailing his arms around.
"Stop it!" Dawn yelled at him angrily. "How can you talk about her like that?"
"Like what? Like the world doesn't revolve around her? Terribly sorry."
"I mean like you don't care about her."
Spike sighed. "Dawn, if you can't handle our problems maybe you shouldn't get in the middle of them."
She scowls and turned angrily on her heel. "Fine, I'll just leave you alone then. Sorry to bother you."
"No, Dawn," Spike called after her, feeling guilty about snapping at her, "it's just that... couples fight. Buffy and I are allowed to fight, it's not the end of the- it's not the end of us."
Dawn turned back around. "I know that! I'm not stupid! But every time Buffy has a fight with her boyfriend he ends up... gone. In the gets up and leaves town sort of way. Spike, I don't want you gone."
"I'm not, I'm right here. I don't plan on leaving anytime soon, Nibblet. No need to worry."
"But I do worry! There's always worry. Slayer, remember? It's like, my job to worry about stuff. And I worry about you, and I worry about worry and sometimes I think it's more than I can handle."
Spike walked over to the very flustered teen and softly placed his hand on her elbow. She looked up into his deep sapphire eyes and he smiled warmly.
"Then just stop for a second. You don't need to worry about me."
Dawn shook her head sadly and shook Spike's hand off of her arm. "What's going on with you two?"
"Buffy didn't tell you."
"Mostly it was just sobbing and I got the basic story from her but, I wanted to hear it from you."
Spike ran his fingers through his hair, which was now rather long and dark at the roots. "We fought. She wanted to talk, I wasn't ready and she wouldn't wait."
"What did she want to talk about?" Dawn inquired.
"I- it was nothing. Kind of private."
"Okay."
They stood in silence for a few moments, both feeling more timid with each other than usual. Dawn wanted to help somehow. Coax him into coming back to the house and fixing his problem with Buffy. But she knew better. She knew it wasn't that simple; it never was.
"Do you know when you are gonna be coming back home?"
"This is my home, Nibblet."
"You know what I mean!"
Spike took a moment to consider the question. "I'm really not sure. I think it would be best to wait a day or so, until all tempers have cooled."
"Okay," Dawn agreed, knowing that they wouldn't get anywhere with her sister and friend just screaming at one another. "I have to go now, Dave's coming over at seven."
"Oh right you'd best-" Spike stopped when his vampire senses suddenly picked on a tremor coming from the earth. He looked at Dawn who was also suddenly looking extra cautious.
"Do you feel that?" She asked.
"Yeah."
"Do you think it's an-" her unfinished question was answered by a very sudden and very violent jolt of the earth. It continued to shake for a few seconds and then slowed and stopped.
Dawn and Spike looked at each other wide-eyed. "That can't be good," Spike commented offhandedly.
Dawn shook her head. "Nope. Maybe you should come back with me to my house now."
Spike nodded in agreement. "Let's go then."
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Buffy lay on her bed sniffing away feeling sorry for herself. She couldn't help but feel stupid for feeling this way, but she couldn't help this feeling. Spike left her? Okay, maybe not *left* left in the way that her other two boyfriends had, but he walked out. He just got up and walked out like it was no big deal. Buffy's rather serious thoughts just eventually led to a fresh batch of tears.
"Why can't he understand that I just want him to talk to me?" She moaned to herself.
"I don't know," Willow answered from the doorway. "Can I come in?"
Buffy rolled over and nodded permission to her best friend, then rolled back over to the position she had been laying in before. Willow sat down next to her and gently rubbed Buffy's shoulder in a comforting manner.
"I think you should be working yourself up over this, Buffy. It isn't like you."
Buffy didn't respond so Willow kept talking.
"I mean, you're Buffy the Vampire Slayer. The chosen one, she who stands alone to fight the forces of darkness and all sorts of icky monsters and stuff. You are the strongest person I have ever met, and I respect you for that more than you can imagine. So I have to say, Buffy, I'm a little disappointed. I expect so much more from you than just sitting here and moping. The Buffy I know would do something about her problem. The Buffy I know-"
"The Buffy you know feels like she can't be strong all the time. Willow, I have to fall apart, I can't do *anything* for him anymore. I try so hard to make things work so that they don't get messed up. But I can't be on all the time, Willow, I just can't."
"Things can't always work out perfectly, Buffy, as long as they work out. Even Tara and I had a falling out period. But that didn't mean-"
"That's the thing, Will," Buffy told her best friend emphatically, sitting up so that she could face her. "I don't want to fall out with him. I love him so much, and I'm tired of losing people I love."
"You aren't losing him Buffy."
"What if I am? What if he's slipping away from me and I can't even see it? What if he's like Riley? I tried so hard to make it work with him. Or Angel? What if something's wrong, something that I can't fix and he just leaves? I can't take anymore heartache, Willow, I'm not strong enough for that."
"I think you have too many or's, Buffy. You shouldn't worry so much about stuff that isn't even happening yet. Spike loves you and he isn't going anywhere. So why don't we concentrate on what we know is coming... the apocalypse."
Buffy sighed, "you're right. Let's just-"
The sudden and rather vigorous shaking of the earth interrupted Buffy. Willow was thrown from where she sat on the bed.
"Willow!"
The trembling slowed and stopped and Willow sat on the floor holding her head. "Ow."
"Will? My god, are you okay?"
"I think so. Ow. Buffy, that's definitely a big worry."
"Oh yeah."
"Should we assemble the Scoobies?"
"Let's."
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Spike and Dawn sprinted into Summers' house. "Is everyone okay?" Dawn called out.
"Yeah, we're... Spike."
"Buffy."
"You came."
"Of course, apocalypse and all. We should maybe-"
"Talk?"
"Yeah."
"Okay. But, not now, now we've got... things."
"Right, things. Very, very important... things."
"More important than-"
"Of course, I- of course."
"Okay."
"Right, then."
"Good."
"Good."
Buffy, not sure of what to say, said nothing and left Spike standing a bit baffled at the entrance hall. She mumbled to herself about how stupid that she was and about how she couldn't seem to put together a congruent statement without turning into a total spaz. She continued her silent rant when she heard the front door slam shut. She turned around to see Giles, Anya and Xander entered in a flurried rush; especially the pregnant woman who looked rather flustered.
Buffy walked over to the couch and plopped down on it. "Welcome back."
"I need a calendar," Anya told her urgently.
"A what?"
"You don't know what a calendar is?"
Buffy frowned at her. "I know what a calendar is, Anya! I just wanted to know why you need one. But you know what? Now I just don't care so hold on."
Buffy walked into the kitchen and it took all of her energy to keep from ripping calendar she kept on the wall off of the wall. She looked at that stupid smiley face and grimaced.
"What the hell are you always so happy about?" She mumbled as she pulled the thumbtack out of the wall and walked back into the living room. Buffy handed the calendar harshly to Anya.
"Geez, what's your-"
"Anya!" Xander said firmly, telling her that she should just stop. The ex- demon sighed and began to flip through the calendar. She stopped at September, looked over the dates, and her eyes widened.
"Of course," she whispered in a shocked and yet rather obvious tone. "I never thought but... I should have known."
"Known what?" Buffy asked impatiently, but she calmed herself, wondering why she was so moody. "Anya, you aren't making sense. What should you have known."
"She's coming soon," Anya told them somberly. "This Wednesday as a matter of fact."
"What? How can you know that?"
Anya held out the calendar and pointed to Wednesday the twentieth. "It's a new moon. She'll come on a new moon. It's so obvious, her power peaks toward the beginning of each new lunar cycle. That's why she was powerful enough to bring me to her a week ago. That's why she can only sometimes get glimpses. It's all based on the lunar cycle. And this Thursday is the new moon. She's coming forth, and she's gonna kill us all."
"No!" Tara said, interrupting Buffy before she could even object. "I'm going to bind her. I'm going to stop her."
"What?" Willow asked, standing up to face her lover. "You can't! You'll die! I won't let you!"
"This isn't your decision," Tara told her calmly.
"I won't let you do this, Tara. I won't lose you!"
Buffy interjected, "Will, calm down nothing is set in stone yet. I mean-"
"Yes is it," Tara said. "I'm going to do this. I have to do this. It's for the world, Will."
"But Tara," Willow sighed as tears began to fall rapidly from her eyes and flow down her now pink cheeks. "You are my world."
"Oh Willow," Tara cooed, reached out to take Willow's hands. The redhead flinched at her touch.
"No," she said coldly and she stormed out the front door.
"Will!" Xander called and he turned to run after her.
"No," Tara commanded him. "Let her just... she needs to cool off."
"Tara, you know you don't have to do this," Buffy told her.
"Yes, I do."
"Are you-"
"Buffy, I'm sure."
The eldest Slayer nodded respectfully and took the Witch into her arms. "Oh Tara, you are truly the best of us all."
Tara made no response and just hugged Buffy. Was she really giving herself up for the world? Yes. Plain and simple she was because it was right, and she knew it was just something she had to do. The Scoobies jumped when the doorbell rang. Dawn's eyes widened.
"Dave!"
She ran to the door and swung it open. When he saw her he smiled. Before he could even tell his girlfriend how nice she looked, she had flung her arms around his neck and pulled him into a tight hug.
"Everything is so wrong!" She cried, "it's just wrong."
"What happened?" He asked, gently stroking her back.
"Just so much. Can we- can we talk privately?"
"Sure. Do you still wanna go out?"
Dawn looked to her sister. "Can I?"
Buffy sighed. "Alright."
"Let's just go back to your house," she whispered in his ear. He nodded and they left.
"Well, since everyone is going, I guess I'll just grab some blood and sod off."
"You don't have to," Buffy told him.
"I know, but I think it would be best."
"What about what I think?"
"Buffy, please."
"What? Would you like me to-"
"Enough!" He said harshly. "I'm leaving."
He turned and walked out of the living room through the kitchen but when he reached the back door Buffy called out after him.
"Don't you dare walk out on me!"
He sighed and turned around. "Buffy, I don't want to fight with you anymore."
"Too bad, Spike. Because you know what? It's now or never! I could die... on Thursday! And I want to talk to you."
"You won't die, I would never let that happen, not again."
"You can't control that, Spike. I might die and-"
"I WON'T!" He shouted, feeling all the upset and frustration rising to the top and finally bubbling over. He knew he couldn't keep it in anymore and he figured the best thing to do would just be to let it out.
"Everyone I love could die and I will be alone. I don't want to be alone, Buffy, not again. I don't want to be empty inside. I'm so afraid, Buffy. I'm so afraid that I'm not good enough to die."
Buffy demurred, taking her time to consider what he had just said. She looked at her lover, his eyes filled with salty tears and she told him exactly how she felt. For the first time in her life, she told him what she thought with one hundred percent honesty.
"William... you are so good."
"Then why do I feel like this?" He asked, tears beginning to drip from his eyes down his cheeks. "Do I deserve you, Buffy? You're always glowing. Did you know that? You're always in the light and I'm not supposed to be in the light. Buffy, why do I feel like this?"
He completely broke down and Buffy ran to him, catching the broken pieces of the love of her life into her welcoming arms.
TBC...
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Please keep review you guys... you (and James Marsters, LOL) are my inspiration!!!
Summary: While Dawn is dealing with balancing school, slaying and dating, Buffy and Spike are dealing with their relation. And all together they are dealing with impending apocalypse.
Spoilers: Well, it takes place about a year and a half after "Normal Again", but it's pretty AU. Xander and Anya are married and Tara is alive.
Continuity: It's the sequel to "The Delegation of Aurelius". However, you don't really need to read it to understand this fic. It sort of just picks up where "TDoA" left off.
A/n: I am so sorry it took this long to update. Please try to understand thought, I am still in High School and it's very hard for me to find the time to write. I do whenever I can and I update as much as I can. Please stick with this because there's more dramatic, romantic, and actiony fun to come! Also, a huge thank you to everyone who reviewed!
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
APOCALYPSE NOW... AGAIN
Chapter 18: Confrontation and Salt
The Slayer quietly crept into the crypt and closed the door with a loud squeak behind her. She looked around at the disarray she saw before. Spike had been there so little in the past few months that he hadn't bothered to maintain cleanliness. She walked further in and saw that the vampire was no where in sight. Being as how it was six o'clock in the, he couldn't be out unless he was just coming back from a midday stroll through the tunnels, but the Slayer knew that that was rather unlikely.
She climbed down as quietly as she could to the lower level of the crypt. She looked around and thought to herself how long it had been since she had been in the crypt. Her eyes eventually fell upon the sleeping vampire. She cocked her head and sighed at his restless sight, feeling terrible about how he tossed and turned. She still couldn't believe what had happened the night before.
She took a step toward Spike and stepped on a root that made a crunching noise beneath her foot. The vampire jerked awake.
"Dawn?"
"Hey," she replied sheepishly. "Sorry I woke you."
"It's okay. I wasn't sleeping all that well anyway." He scratched the back of his head and avoided Dawn's eyes. "So what are you doing here?"
She shrugged and walked over to the bed. She hopped up on it and bounced to a stop before answering him. "I came to see you."
"Well obviously, pet, not many others that you'd know would be expected to be here. I'm asking why you came to see me."
Dawn sighed. "Buffy's pretty mad at you."
"Oh is she now?" Spike asked, grimacing as he stood from the bed. "Queen Buffy is upset! What ever shall we do?" He said with mock concern, flailing his arms around.
"Stop it!" Dawn yelled at him angrily. "How can you talk about her like that?"
"Like what? Like the world doesn't revolve around her? Terribly sorry."
"I mean like you don't care about her."
Spike sighed. "Dawn, if you can't handle our problems maybe you shouldn't get in the middle of them."
She scowls and turned angrily on her heel. "Fine, I'll just leave you alone then. Sorry to bother you."
"No, Dawn," Spike called after her, feeling guilty about snapping at her, "it's just that... couples fight. Buffy and I are allowed to fight, it's not the end of the- it's not the end of us."
Dawn turned back around. "I know that! I'm not stupid! But every time Buffy has a fight with her boyfriend he ends up... gone. In the gets up and leaves town sort of way. Spike, I don't want you gone."
"I'm not, I'm right here. I don't plan on leaving anytime soon, Nibblet. No need to worry."
"But I do worry! There's always worry. Slayer, remember? It's like, my job to worry about stuff. And I worry about you, and I worry about worry and sometimes I think it's more than I can handle."
Spike walked over to the very flustered teen and softly placed his hand on her elbow. She looked up into his deep sapphire eyes and he smiled warmly.
"Then just stop for a second. You don't need to worry about me."
Dawn shook her head sadly and shook Spike's hand off of her arm. "What's going on with you two?"
"Buffy didn't tell you."
"Mostly it was just sobbing and I got the basic story from her but, I wanted to hear it from you."
Spike ran his fingers through his hair, which was now rather long and dark at the roots. "We fought. She wanted to talk, I wasn't ready and she wouldn't wait."
"What did she want to talk about?" Dawn inquired.
"I- it was nothing. Kind of private."
"Okay."
They stood in silence for a few moments, both feeling more timid with each other than usual. Dawn wanted to help somehow. Coax him into coming back to the house and fixing his problem with Buffy. But she knew better. She knew it wasn't that simple; it never was.
"Do you know when you are gonna be coming back home?"
"This is my home, Nibblet."
"You know what I mean!"
Spike took a moment to consider the question. "I'm really not sure. I think it would be best to wait a day or so, until all tempers have cooled."
"Okay," Dawn agreed, knowing that they wouldn't get anywhere with her sister and friend just screaming at one another. "I have to go now, Dave's coming over at seven."
"Oh right you'd best-" Spike stopped when his vampire senses suddenly picked on a tremor coming from the earth. He looked at Dawn who was also suddenly looking extra cautious.
"Do you feel that?" She asked.
"Yeah."
"Do you think it's an-" her unfinished question was answered by a very sudden and very violent jolt of the earth. It continued to shake for a few seconds and then slowed and stopped.
Dawn and Spike looked at each other wide-eyed. "That can't be good," Spike commented offhandedly.
Dawn shook her head. "Nope. Maybe you should come back with me to my house now."
Spike nodded in agreement. "Let's go then."
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Buffy lay on her bed sniffing away feeling sorry for herself. She couldn't help but feel stupid for feeling this way, but she couldn't help this feeling. Spike left her? Okay, maybe not *left* left in the way that her other two boyfriends had, but he walked out. He just got up and walked out like it was no big deal. Buffy's rather serious thoughts just eventually led to a fresh batch of tears.
"Why can't he understand that I just want him to talk to me?" She moaned to herself.
"I don't know," Willow answered from the doorway. "Can I come in?"
Buffy rolled over and nodded permission to her best friend, then rolled back over to the position she had been laying in before. Willow sat down next to her and gently rubbed Buffy's shoulder in a comforting manner.
"I think you should be working yourself up over this, Buffy. It isn't like you."
Buffy didn't respond so Willow kept talking.
"I mean, you're Buffy the Vampire Slayer. The chosen one, she who stands alone to fight the forces of darkness and all sorts of icky monsters and stuff. You are the strongest person I have ever met, and I respect you for that more than you can imagine. So I have to say, Buffy, I'm a little disappointed. I expect so much more from you than just sitting here and moping. The Buffy I know would do something about her problem. The Buffy I know-"
"The Buffy you know feels like she can't be strong all the time. Willow, I have to fall apart, I can't do *anything* for him anymore. I try so hard to make things work so that they don't get messed up. But I can't be on all the time, Willow, I just can't."
"Things can't always work out perfectly, Buffy, as long as they work out. Even Tara and I had a falling out period. But that didn't mean-"
"That's the thing, Will," Buffy told her best friend emphatically, sitting up so that she could face her. "I don't want to fall out with him. I love him so much, and I'm tired of losing people I love."
"You aren't losing him Buffy."
"What if I am? What if he's slipping away from me and I can't even see it? What if he's like Riley? I tried so hard to make it work with him. Or Angel? What if something's wrong, something that I can't fix and he just leaves? I can't take anymore heartache, Willow, I'm not strong enough for that."
"I think you have too many or's, Buffy. You shouldn't worry so much about stuff that isn't even happening yet. Spike loves you and he isn't going anywhere. So why don't we concentrate on what we know is coming... the apocalypse."
Buffy sighed, "you're right. Let's just-"
The sudden and rather vigorous shaking of the earth interrupted Buffy. Willow was thrown from where she sat on the bed.
"Willow!"
The trembling slowed and stopped and Willow sat on the floor holding her head. "Ow."
"Will? My god, are you okay?"
"I think so. Ow. Buffy, that's definitely a big worry."
"Oh yeah."
"Should we assemble the Scoobies?"
"Let's."
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Spike and Dawn sprinted into Summers' house. "Is everyone okay?" Dawn called out.
"Yeah, we're... Spike."
"Buffy."
"You came."
"Of course, apocalypse and all. We should maybe-"
"Talk?"
"Yeah."
"Okay. But, not now, now we've got... things."
"Right, things. Very, very important... things."
"More important than-"
"Of course, I- of course."
"Okay."
"Right, then."
"Good."
"Good."
Buffy, not sure of what to say, said nothing and left Spike standing a bit baffled at the entrance hall. She mumbled to herself about how stupid that she was and about how she couldn't seem to put together a congruent statement without turning into a total spaz. She continued her silent rant when she heard the front door slam shut. She turned around to see Giles, Anya and Xander entered in a flurried rush; especially the pregnant woman who looked rather flustered.
Buffy walked over to the couch and plopped down on it. "Welcome back."
"I need a calendar," Anya told her urgently.
"A what?"
"You don't know what a calendar is?"
Buffy frowned at her. "I know what a calendar is, Anya! I just wanted to know why you need one. But you know what? Now I just don't care so hold on."
Buffy walked into the kitchen and it took all of her energy to keep from ripping calendar she kept on the wall off of the wall. She looked at that stupid smiley face and grimaced.
"What the hell are you always so happy about?" She mumbled as she pulled the thumbtack out of the wall and walked back into the living room. Buffy handed the calendar harshly to Anya.
"Geez, what's your-"
"Anya!" Xander said firmly, telling her that she should just stop. The ex- demon sighed and began to flip through the calendar. She stopped at September, looked over the dates, and her eyes widened.
"Of course," she whispered in a shocked and yet rather obvious tone. "I never thought but... I should have known."
"Known what?" Buffy asked impatiently, but she calmed herself, wondering why she was so moody. "Anya, you aren't making sense. What should you have known."
"She's coming soon," Anya told them somberly. "This Wednesday as a matter of fact."
"What? How can you know that?"
Anya held out the calendar and pointed to Wednesday the twentieth. "It's a new moon. She'll come on a new moon. It's so obvious, her power peaks toward the beginning of each new lunar cycle. That's why she was powerful enough to bring me to her a week ago. That's why she can only sometimes get glimpses. It's all based on the lunar cycle. And this Thursday is the new moon. She's coming forth, and she's gonna kill us all."
"No!" Tara said, interrupting Buffy before she could even object. "I'm going to bind her. I'm going to stop her."
"What?" Willow asked, standing up to face her lover. "You can't! You'll die! I won't let you!"
"This isn't your decision," Tara told her calmly.
"I won't let you do this, Tara. I won't lose you!"
Buffy interjected, "Will, calm down nothing is set in stone yet. I mean-"
"Yes is it," Tara said. "I'm going to do this. I have to do this. It's for the world, Will."
"But Tara," Willow sighed as tears began to fall rapidly from her eyes and flow down her now pink cheeks. "You are my world."
"Oh Willow," Tara cooed, reached out to take Willow's hands. The redhead flinched at her touch.
"No," she said coldly and she stormed out the front door.
"Will!" Xander called and he turned to run after her.
"No," Tara commanded him. "Let her just... she needs to cool off."
"Tara, you know you don't have to do this," Buffy told her.
"Yes, I do."
"Are you-"
"Buffy, I'm sure."
The eldest Slayer nodded respectfully and took the Witch into her arms. "Oh Tara, you are truly the best of us all."
Tara made no response and just hugged Buffy. Was she really giving herself up for the world? Yes. Plain and simple she was because it was right, and she knew it was just something she had to do. The Scoobies jumped when the doorbell rang. Dawn's eyes widened.
"Dave!"
She ran to the door and swung it open. When he saw her he smiled. Before he could even tell his girlfriend how nice she looked, she had flung her arms around his neck and pulled him into a tight hug.
"Everything is so wrong!" She cried, "it's just wrong."
"What happened?" He asked, gently stroking her back.
"Just so much. Can we- can we talk privately?"
"Sure. Do you still wanna go out?"
Dawn looked to her sister. "Can I?"
Buffy sighed. "Alright."
"Let's just go back to your house," she whispered in his ear. He nodded and they left.
"Well, since everyone is going, I guess I'll just grab some blood and sod off."
"You don't have to," Buffy told him.
"I know, but I think it would be best."
"What about what I think?"
"Buffy, please."
"What? Would you like me to-"
"Enough!" He said harshly. "I'm leaving."
He turned and walked out of the living room through the kitchen but when he reached the back door Buffy called out after him.
"Don't you dare walk out on me!"
He sighed and turned around. "Buffy, I don't want to fight with you anymore."
"Too bad, Spike. Because you know what? It's now or never! I could die... on Thursday! And I want to talk to you."
"You won't die, I would never let that happen, not again."
"You can't control that, Spike. I might die and-"
"I WON'T!" He shouted, feeling all the upset and frustration rising to the top and finally bubbling over. He knew he couldn't keep it in anymore and he figured the best thing to do would just be to let it out.
"Everyone I love could die and I will be alone. I don't want to be alone, Buffy, not again. I don't want to be empty inside. I'm so afraid, Buffy. I'm so afraid that I'm not good enough to die."
Buffy demurred, taking her time to consider what he had just said. She looked at her lover, his eyes filled with salty tears and she told him exactly how she felt. For the first time in her life, she told him what she thought with one hundred percent honesty.
"William... you are so good."
"Then why do I feel like this?" He asked, tears beginning to drip from his eyes down his cheeks. "Do I deserve you, Buffy? You're always glowing. Did you know that? You're always in the light and I'm not supposed to be in the light. Buffy, why do I feel like this?"
He completely broke down and Buffy ran to him, catching the broken pieces of the love of her life into her welcoming arms.
TBC...
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Please keep review you guys... you (and James Marsters, LOL) are my inspiration!!!