*** * * * * * * * ************** * * * * ** * ** **
Yuki examined his dark roots in the bathroom mirror with a curse. Unlike SOME people who he would not dignify by mentioning by name (Cough. Shuichi. Cough.) Yuki had to work to keep his hair his colour of choice. Suddenly he understood why Tohma (American though he might be, also not a natural blond) had such a reliance on hats.
Finding nothing to remedy the problem in the bathroom he headed with what little dignity he could muster, to raid the bleach from the laundry.
"Forget it." Mocked Tatsuha as Yuki rummaged through the cupboards. "He got all of it this time."
Shuichi had grown paranoid of Tatsuha's Yuki cos-play (with good reason) and when Tatsuha visited routinely disposed of anything he deemed likely to cause blonde-ness the way of dead fishes and other small housepets. Yuki looked at the toilet morosely before deciding dunking his head and flushing was probably not going to help. Turning to confront Tatsuha (after all, it was his fault) he was momentarily blinded by Tatsuha's newly blonded hair.
"Then how come you.!" He demanded angrily.
"He missed the hydrogen peroxide in the first aid kit, and yes, before you ask, there isn't any left. Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go molest Shuichi."
Yuki grumbling to himself went and collapsed into his bed which had now been vacated and decided not to come out again until the house was empty.
****************** * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Shuichi was curled up in a ball at the very end of the couch sleeping soundly, presumably this was because the remainder of the couch had been previously occupied by Eiri.
Shuichi was still fully dressed in his rabbit garb, proving to Tatsuha once and for all just what an un-healthy relationship Eiri and Shuichi had (as is commonly known to 16 year olds everywhere, a relationship cannot be based solely on love, there has to be sex - and since sex customarily involves disrobing, and Shuichi's outfit showed no signs of tampering . . .).
Slipping into the Yuki sized vacancy on the couch (which as fate (or rather genetics) would have it was also Tatsuha sized, he wrapped his arm around the sexy little beast.
"Get up, Shuichi-chan. We only have about twenty minute's of make-out time before Tatsuha wakes up."
"Ah! Yuki!" Squealed Shuichi clutching Tatsuha's middle in a death vice and threatening to break ribs. "I had a horrible, horrible dream! Ryuichi cut off my hand. Then Tohma came and blasted us both with lightening! Then the Ewoks destroyed th. . . " Waaaaait a sec. Yuki never woke him up to say anything more profound than 'move it brat, you're cutting off my circulation' and even then, never ever called him 'Shuichi-chan' - and certainly didn't call it 'make-out time' either (hey the guys a romance novelist). That could only mean one thing, imminent molestation. Oops, scratch that, if that hand on his ass was any indication it had already begun.
"Waaaah! Let me go Tatsuha!" Squealed Shuichi to his blonde yuki-esque captor. Scouring his brain for answers, Shuichi finally sighing in defeat, "Medkit?"
"Bingo."
"Damn." He cursed smacking his fist into his open palm. "Shoulda realized sooner. Yuki's never up before me - he hardly ever gets out of bed before noon!"
Tatsuha really, really, really, wanted to tell Shuichi that Eiri was the vainest man in Japan and was always up at the crack of dawn primping to look so adorable sleeping when his lover woke up, but decided it wasn't worth the wrath-of-aniki. Shuichi would find out soon enough (and if the gods were with him Tatsuha would be there to witness it - being a monk had its advantages).
Shuichi meanwhile, had used his chibi-no-jutsu to escape Tatsuha's grasp.
". . . . You're really going to have to teach me how you do that one day." Remarked a perplexed Tatsuha.
"It's not something you can just learn, you have to be born with the ability." Shuichi replied, still chibi, piku-pikuing. Tatsuha repressed a shudder.
". . . Uhm. Okay." Tatsuha managed, having not really been expecting an answer. "So. . . what's for breakfast?" He asked as normal-type Shuichi reappeared.
********* * * * * * * * * * * ** * ** * * * *
Having apologized profusely for not being able to prepare a traditional Japanese breakfast (but Eiri had forbidden him from using knives after the incident with the cheesecake which ultimately saw Aniki in hospital with eight stitches) Shuichi had retired to the Kitchen to prepare instant ramen.
Unexpectedly (probably. . . neither Shuichi nor Aniki seemed the type to have too many early morning visitors so Tatsuha presumed it was unexpected) there was knock at the door. Naturally being the only occupant of the house presently unoccupied, Tatsuha went to answer.
Being no one's fool, he checked the peephole first (it could be a group of Yuki's fans, for example, that might molest him, or Shuichi's fans who might lynch him thinking he was Yuki, or worst of all, it could be *shudder* Mika). Peering through the lens he saw another eye peering back.
Now to anyone else that might mean nothing. But Tatsuha was a die-hard Sakuma Ryuichi fan and as such had studied every detail, picture and bio of his idol for the last 16 years (though he would argue 16 years, nine months, no fan club as of yet accepted pre natal cognition - so basically he had to accept being born loving Ryuichi (officially)).
This endowed Tatsuha to be able to identify Sakuma Ryuichi just from the colour and patterning of his iris. It's a little known fact that thanks to bribing an optician in Nagasaki he could have confirmed his primary observation by examining Sakuma's retina. This didn't occur to Tatsuha who was going into the primary stages of shock. Instead he opened the door a tiny bit to peer out, confirming his suspicion, before slamming the door shut again.
It really was Sakuma-sama!
"Open the door Uesegi!" Screamed Ryuichi in fury.
What the heck?
"I know you're in there!"
Eh? How? Why? He had to be dreaming. Sakuma Ryuichi was at the door!
". . . . when I get my hands on you. . . . grrr . . . "
Sakuma Ryuichi was at the door and wanted to get his hands on him. Life was good.
". . . you have my baby!"
Sakuma Ryuichi was at the door and wanted him, Uesegi Tatsuha, to have his baby. Life was really good!
Without further thought he yanked the door open.
"KUMAGAROU BEA_MU!" Cried Ryuichi launching the fuzzy pink projectile. Now normally when one gets hit in the head with a plushy its no great deal (unless they have sharp edge's or something of course) however today Kumagarou was in full battle regalia, and when one gets hit in the head with 18kg of chain mail one tends to go down and stay down (regardless of how cute and fluffy the occupant of the body armor is).
Well. That had been way too easy. Ryuichi toed his fallen enemy a little disappointed, before remembering his true mission to liberate Shumagarou. Stepping over the fallen bad-guy Ryuichi strode into the apartment to look for Shuichi while Sakano deftly called an ambulance.
"Shumagarou! I found you!" Ryuichi cried excited upon finding Shuichi in the kitchen prying the lid off a cup-noodle with a knife. "Argh! Don't you know you shouldn't play with knives!"
This from someone who Tohma wouldn't even allow to play with safety scissors anymore?
"Oh the humanity! Forced into slavery for that vile mans needs! No more! I've rid the world of that fiend known as Usagi Yuki!" Declared Ryuichi triumphant.
"Uesegi." Corrected Yuki, fetching a beer from the fridge.
Ryuichi screamed, ran to the entrance and peered at the fallen foe that was being given CPR by K and Sakano. Back to the kitchen. Entrance. Kitchen. Entrance. This went on for some time.
"I should have known you would have an army of evil clones!" Remarked Ryuichi with forced calm.
K and Sakano, apparently satisfied that their boss wouldn't be put away for murder left the revived but dazed Tatsuha to join their boss in the kitchen.
Yuki, having finished his beer, crushed the can and threw it into the bin.
"You can't intimidate me, Usagi!" Cried Ryuichi, betrayed by the looks he kept glancing at the crushed can. Yuki just headed dazedly back to bed. "Let's escape now." He suggested to his companions in a whisper, snagging a stunned Shuichi who knew better than to make too much noise when Yuki was in one of his moods (well lets just pretend he knew better, which he didn't really, as has been seen many, many times, he continuously pushes Yuki to the point that homicide would be less a crime more a mercy - but suspend your disbelief in this one instance - Shuichi went relatively quietly).
About ten steps anyway.
Yuki examined his dark roots in the bathroom mirror with a curse. Unlike SOME people who he would not dignify by mentioning by name (Cough. Shuichi. Cough.) Yuki had to work to keep his hair his colour of choice. Suddenly he understood why Tohma (American though he might be, also not a natural blond) had such a reliance on hats.
Finding nothing to remedy the problem in the bathroom he headed with what little dignity he could muster, to raid the bleach from the laundry.
"Forget it." Mocked Tatsuha as Yuki rummaged through the cupboards. "He got all of it this time."
Shuichi had grown paranoid of Tatsuha's Yuki cos-play (with good reason) and when Tatsuha visited routinely disposed of anything he deemed likely to cause blonde-ness the way of dead fishes and other small housepets. Yuki looked at the toilet morosely before deciding dunking his head and flushing was probably not going to help. Turning to confront Tatsuha (after all, it was his fault) he was momentarily blinded by Tatsuha's newly blonded hair.
"Then how come you.!" He demanded angrily.
"He missed the hydrogen peroxide in the first aid kit, and yes, before you ask, there isn't any left. Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go molest Shuichi."
Yuki grumbling to himself went and collapsed into his bed which had now been vacated and decided not to come out again until the house was empty.
****************** * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Shuichi was curled up in a ball at the very end of the couch sleeping soundly, presumably this was because the remainder of the couch had been previously occupied by Eiri.
Shuichi was still fully dressed in his rabbit garb, proving to Tatsuha once and for all just what an un-healthy relationship Eiri and Shuichi had (as is commonly known to 16 year olds everywhere, a relationship cannot be based solely on love, there has to be sex - and since sex customarily involves disrobing, and Shuichi's outfit showed no signs of tampering . . .).
Slipping into the Yuki sized vacancy on the couch (which as fate (or rather genetics) would have it was also Tatsuha sized, he wrapped his arm around the sexy little beast.
"Get up, Shuichi-chan. We only have about twenty minute's of make-out time before Tatsuha wakes up."
"Ah! Yuki!" Squealed Shuichi clutching Tatsuha's middle in a death vice and threatening to break ribs. "I had a horrible, horrible dream! Ryuichi cut off my hand. Then Tohma came and blasted us both with lightening! Then the Ewoks destroyed th. . . " Waaaaait a sec. Yuki never woke him up to say anything more profound than 'move it brat, you're cutting off my circulation' and even then, never ever called him 'Shuichi-chan' - and certainly didn't call it 'make-out time' either (hey the guys a romance novelist). That could only mean one thing, imminent molestation. Oops, scratch that, if that hand on his ass was any indication it had already begun.
"Waaaah! Let me go Tatsuha!" Squealed Shuichi to his blonde yuki-esque captor. Scouring his brain for answers, Shuichi finally sighing in defeat, "Medkit?"
"Bingo."
"Damn." He cursed smacking his fist into his open palm. "Shoulda realized sooner. Yuki's never up before me - he hardly ever gets out of bed before noon!"
Tatsuha really, really, really, wanted to tell Shuichi that Eiri was the vainest man in Japan and was always up at the crack of dawn primping to look so adorable sleeping when his lover woke up, but decided it wasn't worth the wrath-of-aniki. Shuichi would find out soon enough (and if the gods were with him Tatsuha would be there to witness it - being a monk had its advantages).
Shuichi meanwhile, had used his chibi-no-jutsu to escape Tatsuha's grasp.
". . . . You're really going to have to teach me how you do that one day." Remarked a perplexed Tatsuha.
"It's not something you can just learn, you have to be born with the ability." Shuichi replied, still chibi, piku-pikuing. Tatsuha repressed a shudder.
". . . Uhm. Okay." Tatsuha managed, having not really been expecting an answer. "So. . . what's for breakfast?" He asked as normal-type Shuichi reappeared.
********* * * * * * * * * * * ** * ** * * * *
Having apologized profusely for not being able to prepare a traditional Japanese breakfast (but Eiri had forbidden him from using knives after the incident with the cheesecake which ultimately saw Aniki in hospital with eight stitches) Shuichi had retired to the Kitchen to prepare instant ramen.
Unexpectedly (probably. . . neither Shuichi nor Aniki seemed the type to have too many early morning visitors so Tatsuha presumed it was unexpected) there was knock at the door. Naturally being the only occupant of the house presently unoccupied, Tatsuha went to answer.
Being no one's fool, he checked the peephole first (it could be a group of Yuki's fans, for example, that might molest him, or Shuichi's fans who might lynch him thinking he was Yuki, or worst of all, it could be *shudder* Mika). Peering through the lens he saw another eye peering back.
Now to anyone else that might mean nothing. But Tatsuha was a die-hard Sakuma Ryuichi fan and as such had studied every detail, picture and bio of his idol for the last 16 years (though he would argue 16 years, nine months, no fan club as of yet accepted pre natal cognition - so basically he had to accept being born loving Ryuichi (officially)).
This endowed Tatsuha to be able to identify Sakuma Ryuichi just from the colour and patterning of his iris. It's a little known fact that thanks to bribing an optician in Nagasaki he could have confirmed his primary observation by examining Sakuma's retina. This didn't occur to Tatsuha who was going into the primary stages of shock. Instead he opened the door a tiny bit to peer out, confirming his suspicion, before slamming the door shut again.
It really was Sakuma-sama!
"Open the door Uesegi!" Screamed Ryuichi in fury.
What the heck?
"I know you're in there!"
Eh? How? Why? He had to be dreaming. Sakuma Ryuichi was at the door!
". . . . when I get my hands on you. . . . grrr . . . "
Sakuma Ryuichi was at the door and wanted to get his hands on him. Life was good.
". . . you have my baby!"
Sakuma Ryuichi was at the door and wanted him, Uesegi Tatsuha, to have his baby. Life was really good!
Without further thought he yanked the door open.
"KUMAGAROU BEA_MU!" Cried Ryuichi launching the fuzzy pink projectile. Now normally when one gets hit in the head with a plushy its no great deal (unless they have sharp edge's or something of course) however today Kumagarou was in full battle regalia, and when one gets hit in the head with 18kg of chain mail one tends to go down and stay down (regardless of how cute and fluffy the occupant of the body armor is).
Well. That had been way too easy. Ryuichi toed his fallen enemy a little disappointed, before remembering his true mission to liberate Shumagarou. Stepping over the fallen bad-guy Ryuichi strode into the apartment to look for Shuichi while Sakano deftly called an ambulance.
"Shumagarou! I found you!" Ryuichi cried excited upon finding Shuichi in the kitchen prying the lid off a cup-noodle with a knife. "Argh! Don't you know you shouldn't play with knives!"
This from someone who Tohma wouldn't even allow to play with safety scissors anymore?
"Oh the humanity! Forced into slavery for that vile mans needs! No more! I've rid the world of that fiend known as Usagi Yuki!" Declared Ryuichi triumphant.
"Uesegi." Corrected Yuki, fetching a beer from the fridge.
Ryuichi screamed, ran to the entrance and peered at the fallen foe that was being given CPR by K and Sakano. Back to the kitchen. Entrance. Kitchen. Entrance. This went on for some time.
"I should have known you would have an army of evil clones!" Remarked Ryuichi with forced calm.
K and Sakano, apparently satisfied that their boss wouldn't be put away for murder left the revived but dazed Tatsuha to join their boss in the kitchen.
Yuki, having finished his beer, crushed the can and threw it into the bin.
"You can't intimidate me, Usagi!" Cried Ryuichi, betrayed by the looks he kept glancing at the crushed can. Yuki just headed dazedly back to bed. "Let's escape now." He suggested to his companions in a whisper, snagging a stunned Shuichi who knew better than to make too much noise when Yuki was in one of his moods (well lets just pretend he knew better, which he didn't really, as has been seen many, many times, he continuously pushes Yuki to the point that homicide would be less a crime more a mercy - but suspend your disbelief in this one instance - Shuichi went relatively quietly).
About ten steps anyway.