A/N: Sorry this took so long, but it was hard to come up with enough for the Hufflepuffs. Ravenclaw and Slytherin should be better. Then the teachers, hm, that should be good. Keep reviewing!

Harry Potter Bites Back!

Part 2: The Hufflepuffs

Ernie MacMillan walked into the Hufflepuff common room to find his best friend Justin Finch-Fletchly staring morosely into the fireplace.

"What's the matter, Justin?" Ernie asked.

"The whole world thinks I'm gay," Justin answered gloomily.

Ernie was concerned. Justin never shut up usually; something must really be wrong if he was acting so depressed.

"Why do you say that, mate?" Ernie asked, trying to keep his tone light.

"It's my hyphenated last name. And because I thought Lockheart was brilliant. Second year, Harry, Ron, Hermione, in the green house-"

"With the garden hose," Ernie joked. Justin didn't crack a smile and Ernie tried another approach.

"What are you going on about? No one thinks you're gay."

Justin nodded. "Do so. You can't tell me you haven't had one of those dreams."

Ernie was confused. "What dreams? I've had a few where I showed up to Transifiguration stark naked, but I don't know what you mean."

Justin gaped at him. "You mean it? You've never had one of those dreams where you're in someone's story and they just do whatever they want with you?"

Ernie frowned, thinking. "Not that I remember, but it sounds rather nice if you ask me."

Justin shook his head. "It's not. It's not nice at all."

"What's not nice?"

Hannah Abbot and Susan Bones had just come into the common room. They took seats on the fluffy yellow sofa on either side of Justin.

"Those dreams," Justin replied with a shudder. Hannah gasped and Susan clasped a hand to her mouth.

"You've had them too?" Ernie asked. "Why haven't I?"

"Be grateful," Hannah replied, shivering slightly. "Ooh, they're horrible!" She looked like she was about to cry. "Poor Cedric!"

Ernie was taken aback. "Cedric? What about him?"

"These people put him in their stories!" Susan cried. "Can't they leave him in peace?"

Ernie scratched his head. "Okay, go over this with me once more. You dream about yourselves, and Cedric."

The others nodded.

"Okay, well, what's so bad about that?"

Justin groaned. "I'm gay, I'm just gay!"

Hannah sobbed. "Poor Cedric!"

Susan made a face. "I'm evil."

Now Ernie was really confused. "Don't you ever have nice dreams?"

They thought about it.

"I've had one or two where I was involved with Harry Potter," Hannah said thoughtfully.

"No," Susan answered. "I'm just evil."

"I'm gay," Justin replied. "Always."

"Wasn't there one where you-no wait, that was Cedric…" Hannah trailed off.

Ernie shrugged. "I think you're all barking mad. Mass hysteria, that's what it is. And I'm going to bed."

He started down the corridor to his dormitory. He heard a cry.

"But I'm gay!"

Ernie just rolled his eyes and kept going.

Back in front of the fire place, Hannah put a comforting hand on his shoulder. Susan gave him a hug.

"We don't think you're gay, Justin," Hannah said comfortingly.

"Really?" he asked, hopeful.

"Sure," Susan replied.

"Then either of you would go out with me?" he asked.

Both girls made a face.

"What are you mad?" Hannah asked. "Come on, Susan, maybe now we'll dream about Draco Malfoy!"

Both girls ran off giggling to their room, leaving Justin gaping after them. He stared into the fire again.

"Everyone thinks I'm gay!" he wailed.