The Dark Ride Saga - Chapter
Eight
Angst off the Hammond Bow! DIVE! DIVE!
Disclaimers-
Legal thingy: The characters and situations represented within are owned by Cal. Argue with him about this.
Archiving: Anywhere, anytime.
Rating: How would I know? I haven't written any more than this.
Timeframe: Hey, the future, when else?
Spoilers: Here's one now! "There is no spoon."
The rest of the day after seeing of evil abacus man was spent pretty much barricaded in the rec room. It was pretty dull. The high point was a discussion on who should be allowed to join the team. We finally agreed on Jason X, the freaky cyborg killing machine from the… uh… either the Halloween movies or the Friday the thirteenth movies. I forget which. There was also Ash from Evil Dead and Duke Nukem. If you don't know who Duke Nukem is then I pity you, I truly do. The man is my hero. We got into a very pointless argument after that. Yea, it was that kind of afternoon. Like I said, pretty dull.
The interesting stuff happened later, after we'd all retired to our rooms. Or the basement. Wherever.
I'd had a nightmare.
Well…more of a flashback.
I hate flashbacks.
I could remember swirling images of a glass container, and a steel table, and images of doctors all around me, talking or handling medical instruments.
Actually, not so much a flashback as being trapped in a swirling abyss of never ending soul twisting torment. If I even have a soul.
That's not something I want to talk about right now.
And I know what you're thinking.
Oh look. He was experimented on. How unique. That's never happened before. Just to only the rest of the X-men at one time or another.
I'll tell you this now; it was a lot worse than just being experimented on.
Anyway.
I'd woken, gasping for breath, my sheets tangled in my claw, swinging a punch with my other hand at something that only existed in my memories anymore.
It took me a moment to remember were I was. I let out a sigh and lowered myself back down. I wasn't gonna get anymore sleep tonight.
Just as I was about to leave and either prowl the mansion corridors for a while or visit the danger room and beat the hell out of something holographic, Marrow spoke.
"I know that feeling."
I was doubtful, to say the least. I mentioned that. She snorted.
"What makes you think you're the only one who ever had anything bad happen to you?"
I laughed. Started talking. I didn't stop for a long time. I told her everything. When I was finished she returned the favour. Turns out we both had a lot in common.
The next morning found us both sat on the roof, wrapped in a blanket and watching the sun rise.
There's something reassuring about watching the sun rise. Watching a new day begin.
It's a reminder than no matter how bad yesterday was, today can be different. Better.
Another thing I was glad about was that things between us hadn't changed. Well, maybe they had a little. Things between us had gone from an I-sort-of-tolerate-your-presence friendship to something that was more like us being war buddies.
Just in case you were thinking something good was happening to me and the two of us were up there making some kind of connection I'm gonna go right ahead and tell you what happens next – I kinda… well, I'd been awake all night and… and… Well, I sorta dozed off and fell off of the roof.
Yup.
You heard me.
A full on romantic watching the sunrise moment and I passed out through sheer being awake all night and fell off the roof.
I also totalled all of Storms roses and most of Jeans too when I landed.
Sarah did think it was hilarious though so it wasn't a total loss though… who am I kidding? I couldn't have embarrassed myself anymore if I had danced a weird dance wearing a clown suit in the middle of a large group of mutant hating monkeys who were all on crack and armed with large piles of monkeyturd.
Tangent ahoy!
Aint seen any of them for a while, huh?
Anyway.
Back to the plot.
The rest of the week went pretty uneventfully, barring many many references to what was becoming known as 'the war of the roses' and many many nasty looks from Jean and Storm. I tried to explain I hadn't done it on purpose but no, I was living with the mansions resident basement monster so I must be evil and I must have done it on purpose. Yea, right. I assassinate decorative bushes all the time.
By the by, the basement monster line was not mine and you never EVER heard me say it either, right?
Anyway.
It was Saturday morning and I was happily sitting on the couch, eating lots of sugar coated cereal in a happy cartoon induced mental coma when with a very impressive BAMF and a cloud of sulphur a strange furry guy with a tail appeared.
It was early and my brain was still running about a quarter hour behind current events so I didn't even react as he bounded over and asked
"You must be Cal, ja? I am Kurt Wagner and I am pleased to meet you."
He grabbed my claw and shook it vigorously. He noticed my talons and smiled before continuing
"Three claws? Perhaps later we can get together and angst about how freakish and misunderstood we are, mein Freund?"
He held up a three fingered hand and I couldn't help but smile.
"I was asked to relay this message- we are all to gather in the main hallway. Danke und weg!"
(That should say 'thanks and away!' It might, actually. I'm not sure. My accent is terrible. Or it would be if I could speak German, but I can't so I don't. I can barely speak English sometimes.)
Anyway, with that he performed an exaggerated bow and with another BAMF teleported away.
I liked the guy. He was kinda like a furry Errol Flynn.
After quickly finishing my cereal I made my way to the hall. The others were already there. I gave everyone a cheery wave. Gatorbait gave me a nasty look, Logan gave me a slight nod and Jubilee popped the bubble she had been blowing. It felt so nice to be so popular and appreciated.
That was sarcasm, by the by.
Anyway.
I looked around but I couldn't see Marrow. I asked where she was and a very disgruntled
sounding brunette I hadn't seen before said
"Right here. Image inducer."
Apparently that was all the explanation I was going to get because she immediately returned to giving Storm very nasty looks.
Another regular looking guy, if slightly bigger and bulkier than average walked over from where he had been talking quietly with Scooter.
He must have overheard because he explained
"Greeting and salutations, my armored amigo, tis I, the bouncing blue furred Beast. At least I would be, were I not camouflaged by this illusionary apparel, ably generated by this little wonder of modern technology."
He drew a metal tube from a pocket and handed it to me. As I examined it he continued.
"Pressing the small button on the side there and it will cover you in a hologram. Suffice to say, since I designed it, it is a very convincing hologram."
I looked up and suddenly I couldn't hear a word he was saying. There was another member of the X-Men walking towards us and all I could hear was Bon Jovi playing the song 'Bad Medicine'. She had a mass of flame red hair and a stunning hourglass figure that would probably give her serious back problems in later life. She smiled at me as she passed and I'm fairly certain one of my hearts started spasming.
"…And that is why when you activate the device it will, rather than covering you in a concealing hologram, render you paralyzed whereupon I will lock you in an orbital satellite I have created where your only companions will be four robots. Once on this satellite I will force you to watch bad movies till I discover the one film that drives you insane. Once I have found this movie I will inflict it on the world, thus destroying civilization. Any questions?"
Hank had still been talking and apparently noticed that he no longer had my attention.
He followed my gaze, muttered something under his breath that sounded surprisingly like 'Oh, not this again. Honestly, this happens all the time.'
"You need a timeout?"
Marrow had entered the conversation.
She followed my gaze.
"Who're we looking at? The redhead. She was one of the original team ya know? She gets around. Hell, were probably the only people here she hasn't slept with yet. And her marriage to leader man is having problems. You should try your luck. You two'd make a cute couple."
Hank was not looking happy about her comment. Thankfully a scene was averted because Scooter announced
"Okay people, outside and into the cars. Let's get this show on the road."
We moved outside and into the cars. Well, I moved towards a Hummer. It looked like it was the only thing that I could ride in and not crack both axles.
Before I got in I activated the image inducer. I discovered a small problem. I was about a foot and a half too tall. While my legs and chest were covered by the image inducers field my head, wings, tail and arms were floating in midair.
It was weird to say the least.
Especially my tail.
Tails shouldn't just float around like that.
I called Scooter over. His first reaction was to tell me not to call him Scooter. Then he gave me a weird look. Considering he was wearing ruby quartz shades, it was a very weird look.
I asked if the image inducer was really necessary. He said no. With a shrug I pocketed it and got into the vehicle. After much twitching and shifting around to find a position that didn't cut off the blood flow to my tail I finally settled down.
On a side note, my major pet hate is chairs not designed for people with tails.
I hate it when my tail goes numb. It always takes an annoyingly long time before the feelings come back. Well, ok. Like I've said before, I rarely feel anything physical 'cos of my bio-armor but I know when something's numb and when it isn't. And when it isn't, it feels weird. Or doesn't. Or something. Look, your just gonna have to take my word for it ok?
Uhhh…..
What was I talking about?
Kids, say no to tangents.
Hehe.
Sorry.
Anyway.
I was sitting in the back of the humvee and I had just gotten sorta comfortable. Up front was Abacus, the annoying mutant accountant. I knew his name was Robert 'Bobby' Drake but I was still annoyed about the anime thing. Hank was driving. I asked where we were going. Given the amount of planning and the way Scooter had been acting, I was expecting it to be a raid on a super villain's base or something. Instead, I was told we were going to the mall. I would have preferred the super villains.