…When Pranks Go Bad…
By Zetta Zofia
Disclaimer: Not mine, belong to someone else, yadda-yadda-yadda.
Summary: When Pranks go bad, it's never good… Especially when you're dealing
with Age Potions.
Characters: MWPP, Lily Evans, Severus Snape, and More!
Who's Who: Peter is James, Frank is supposed to play Sirius, and
Arabella's supposed to baby-sit again.
Note: Yay! I like my next chapters, 'cuz it gets fun to write. So, yeah, hold out for a few more days...I'll
try to post one more tomorrow, but if I don't, I'll post it after I get back
for the weekend.
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(http://www.sphosting.com/chalkboard/)
Everything MWPP!
Chapter Four
- Wednesday
"I tried a bunch of different books, but none of them had it in them," Remus told Lily and Arabella at breakfast the next morning. Lily was leaning heavily on the table, and there were bags under her eyes. She was pale, and looked rather awful. But Remus continued. "Frank's in worse shape than you are. He's barely sitting up. You're going to have to be Sirius or James today, Arabella."
Arabella let out a piteous moan. "Why me?"
"Trade you," Lily groaned.
They all stared at her for a moment. It was that bad?
"Peter will play whoever you don't," Remus continued. "We're going to leave Frank with James and Sirius and hope that he doesn't get them sick. But we can't have more people missing, and I can't miss another day right off like this. I'll do it the next day or something."
"Tell Peter to pick," Arabella sighed.
"He picked James," Remus said immediately. "You're a little more… energetic than he is, and Sirius is a rather energetic person, even when he's sick. It would be more convincing that way."
"Fine," Arabella grumbled crossly.
"I shouldn't miss any more class this week," Lily said, closing her eyes and resting her head on the table. "I'm going to fall behind."
Remus looked at her worriedly. "You're supposed to watch them on Thursday and Friday," he said slowly. "Will you be up for it?"
"I hope so," she moaned. "I don't know what the hell this is, but I feel horrible."
"We're researching it," Remus sighed. "Last night, I went to the library and grabbed a few more books. Frank said he'd try and look in them today if he was up to it."
They fell silent for a while, Remus and Arabella eating.
Lily stared at them and felt sick to her stomach.
She pushed back her plate and stumbled to her feet. "I can't go to class like this," she murmured, clearly disappointed. "I'm gonna go talk to McGonagall and tell her I've come down with something."
"Good idea," Remus said while Arabella looked on, worried. "I'll go with you and tell her about Frank."
"We can't tell her what really happened," Lily murmured. "It'd be too suspicious."
"Right," Remus agreed. He hesitated. "So, snogging with Frank?"
Lily scowled but understood. They couldn't exactly say that they'd been hit by powder by Snape, and it would be a good explanation for how they'd both got it. But still, ew.
"I'll try to avoid saying it," Remus said. "But she's sure to get that impression."
Lily stayed quiet and followed him up to McGonagall.
*~*~*
Transfiguration was not a pleasant class that day. Arabella, acting as Sirius, and Peter, acting as James, were both rather bad at anything having to do with Transfiguration. Peter, of course, had an advantage in that he was Animagus. Even so, he still wasn't very good at it.
McGonagall was in a rare mood, snappish and taking points off on a whim. It was understandable. Half of her class was missing.
When they walked in, McGonagall had started lecturing them on a prank she'd just had played on her that James and Sirius had apparently set up some time ago. James and Sirius each got two detentions.
That would have been fine, but once she was done, one of the Gryffindor girls came up and began flirting with 'Sirius'. Arabella, having heard about all of the rumors about her and Sirius, grew annoyed. Honestly! This girl was trying to get Sirius to cheat on her! Before Arabella could tell the girl off, the girl had gone a little too far, and was, er, feeling Sirius up.
Horrified, she rushed away, struggling to act as much like Sirius as she could. Except, of course, for the fact that 'Sirius' was ignoring a girl.
Peter sat down next to her and it did not please her to see him smirking at her.
Class started, McGonagall still snappish.
The Slytherins lost twenty points within ten minutes of the start of class, and Gryffindor was not far behind with fifteen.
After her (extra long) lecture, McGonagall called upon 'James' to demonstrate to the class.
Peter was terrified. "Uh, Professor, I don't-" He stopped himself. James never said 'I don't know'. "Uh, I'm not familiar with that one."
McGonagall sighed impatiently. "Black? Lupin?"
Remus quickly stood and did the transfiguration, hoping and praying that he would do it right, and she wouldn't call on 'Sirius'. Arabella didn't have a chance of doing it.
Fortunately, it worked for him.
"Five points to Gryffindor," McGonagall snapped. "Anyone else?"
The class was silent. "Get to work." She turned and looked worriedly at Peter, who, still James, gave her a nervous smile that looked very unnatural. "Is everything alright, Mr. Potter?"
"I, uh, well,"
"There's something going around," Remus said quickly. McGonagall's attention was diverted to him. "Frank's out today, remember, and Lily Evans is out sick too. Arabella Figg wasn't looking too good either, and Peter too. And Frank was acting like them when he started to get sick."
McGonagall pursed her lips. "Had you considered seeing the nurse about this?"
Her hawk eyes were on 'James' again. Peter tried his best to look sick. He was so terrified, it wasn't hard. "Er, we were going to go later today if it got worse."
"We don't want to miss any more class than necessary, of course," Arabella said, in a rather good Sirius impression. She grinned, and Remus had to fight back a snicker. Arabella had mastered Sirius's rogue smirk quite perfectly.
McGonagall scowled. "Well, don't stand here chatting. Get to work. Don't forget about your detention tonight, Mr. Black."
Arabella's eyes widened a bit, and she had to force herself to hide her scowl. "Er, Professor, would it be at all possible for me to do that next week? I would hate to get you sick by spending time with you when I'm feeling like this."
McGonagall's lips thinned. "If you end up in the hospital, that shall be one thing, Mr. Black, but until then, I think not."
"But Professor," Remus said. "If he's already not feeling well, and he has to serve detention, he'll be even worse off for the Quidditch Scrimmage this weekend.
That got her, just as he'd known it would.
McGonagall relented. "Fine," she snapped. "Next week. Monday."
She turned and stormed away.
They exchanged relieved looks, and then went back to work.
Towards the end of class, things went downhill again, when Snape and his goons sauntered over.
Remus had to nudge Arabella before she remembered she was playing Sirius. She looked up and sneered, and again, Remus marveled at how well she'd picked up Sirius's favorite expressions. "Ooh, look, it's Sevvy."
Severus sneered back. "Black and Potter. Surprised to see you up and about."
"Strong constitutions," Remus said coolly. "Excuse us. We've got to be going."
"Ah, the sickly one speaks. Where's your little friend?"
Peter felt he needed to answer. "None of your business, greaseball."
He tensed, just knowing that Severus would hurt him for that.
But then again… Maybe being James wasn't such a bad thing.
Severus glared at him. "Sod off, Potter."
"Is there a problem here?" McGonagall said, surprising all of them.
"Not at all," Remus said. "We were just leaving."
They grabbed their things and made a quick exit. "To the tower," Arabella ordered. "Then we'll go to Herbology."
They walked quickly, forcing themselves to ignore the sumptuous smells coming from the Great Hall.
"Birds of a feather," Remus said, and the Fat Lady opened the door for them.
Immediately, they all saw the big group of Gryffindors gathered around the couch.
And then they heard the giggles of a young child.
They stopped as one, and then each of them hurried over to the couch.
Lily was seated there, Little Sirius and Little James on the floor in front of her, and the crowd of girls cooing at them and sighing happily.
"Lily!" Arabella hissed, putting Sirius's hands on Sirius's hips, and Remus found it odd to see Sirius doing such a thing. But he was too stunned to say anything about it. "What the hell are you doing?"
Lily looked up, as did the rest of the girls. "Oh, isn't he adorable?" Megan Pierson cooed, picking Little James up and making faces at him.
He giggled and reached for her earring. Lily stood and scooped him out of her arms, saving the other girl from much pain. She was scowling. "Frank and I were sitting up in the room watching them, and all of a sudden he, er, guessed that McGonagall was coming." She scowled at Remus and Peter, and they knew she'd found out about the Marauder's Map. "So I grabbed them and started to take them out of the room. But one of the seventh year boys was right out in the hall, and saw me, and made a fuss 'cuz of the boys, and then before I could explain, I had to hide them with him, and take Polyjuice potion, and before I could get the boys back, everyone knew."
"So if this is Sirius," one of the girls said, smirking at the little one. "Then who are you?"
Arabella sent her a smirk. "Someone who does not appreciate having hands shoved down my pants during Transfiguration."
The girl's face flushed.
Remus sighed. "She… er, he… er, Sirius is Arabella. Or rather, Arabella is Sirius."
The other girl paled and looked rather disgusted.
Peter sighed and hoped that, for the moment, they would forget what he was on a normal day, and come enjoy him like they'd just done to Sirius/Arabella. "I'm Peter,"
"Wow," one of the girls sighed. "That's so cool."
She picked up little Sirius, who grinned and grabbed her earring as well. She howled with pain, and it was only because Arabella was standing right there that Little Sirius was saved. While the other girl whimpered about her earring, several others 'awwed' again.
"He didn't change at all," Brittany, one of Sirius's exes, exclaimed, studying the little one and the elder version.
Arabella shifted Sirius uncomfortably and tried to hold him on her hip. But she didn't have the same kind of hips, and it wasn't a comfortable position.
James was curled up quite comfortably on Lily's lap, his thumb in his mouth. Amused, Lily took Sirius from Arabella as well, but quickly lost him as Megan took him, having removed her earrings.
"I never thought the day would come that you'd be that close to James Potter," Brittany sneered.
Lily shrugged, her eyes narrowing only slightly when she looked at the other girl. "Don't worry, Brit. I'll be happy to give him back as soon as he grows up and returns to asshole form."
Arabella would have offered a comment as well, but she suddenly felt the Polyjuice Potion wearing off. With a small gasp, she shrunk back into herself.
A split second later, Peter shrunk as well.
Both had to hold up their pants to keep them on.
Peter sighed and sat down.
Sirius screeched excitedly and leaned for Peter, who took him and didn't look in the least bit disappointed to have all the girls gather around him next.
"Will Sirius be back to normal soon?" Jenny White wondered. "We've got a date next week."
"More important," Rosie Carson said sternly. "Will they be back for the Quidditch match?"
Remus saw need to answer this one. "They should be back on Friday night. Of course, that's assuming that McGonagall doesn't find out somehow... She would certainly suspend us, and then, well, they couldn't play, could they?"
Rosie scowled. "So in other words, we're being black-mailed into silence."
"I prefer to use the term persuaded," Remus said, shrugging.
"Well," Lily said, and then had to pause for a moment as she began coughing. Her eyes were a bit watery when she'd finished, and Remus handed her his handkerchief. She wiped her eyes. "Any of you up for babysitting? We really should miss much more class. McGonagall was already suspicious about the boys missing so much in just these few days."
The girls all exchanged looks. "Er, I've got a test."
"Me too."
"And a date."
"Er… I've got to… er… study."
"Oh, look at the time! Gotta run!"
Within a few short moments, only Megan and Rosie were left. Rosie, the no nonsense girl who wore her hair in a ponytail and dressed according to the regulations, took Sirius. "They're kinda cute like this," she said, grinning at little Sirius.
He blew bubbles at her, and while she grimaced, she didn't put him down.
Lily glanced down when she felt a tug on her neck and saw that James had found her necklace. "They are, aren't they?"
Fortunately, she missed the astonished expressions on Arabella, Remus, and Peter's faces.
Remus swallowed back a snappy comment. "Er, I'm off to check on Frank." Nudging Peter, the two boys went upstairs.
Arabella sat on the couch next to Lily, tired of holding her pants up. "So," she said, smiling brightly at Megan and Rosie. "Meg. I know how bad you wanna get in Sirius's pants… This is a great opportunity!"
Megan snorted. "When pigs fly!"
She was obviously Muggle Born.
Arabella looked excited. "Great!"
Lily rolled her eyes. "How about you, Rosie?"
Rosie gave Sirius a kiss on the forehead and handed him off to Arabella. "Not a chance. However, I would like to know how you two got suckered into this."
Lily scowled. "You know, all day long, I've been trying to figure that out too?"
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Everything MWPP!