CHAPTER 30
When Beth came down from her shower, Duncan and Amanda were in the kitchen.
"I hope you don't mind." Amanda smiled as she popped a bite of some confection in her mouth.
"No … no … not at all." Beth waved her hand for emphasis. "Esperanza baked all of that for the
shop today … they won't be any good if they aren't fresh."
She turned to see Duncan pouring a couple cups of coffee. "Want a cup?" he asked, holding the
pot up.
"Uhm no thanks … no caffeine allowed." She patted her middle and smiled.
The three of them sat at the table.
"Are you sure we have to keep the shop closed?" Beth asked, picking a bit of crust off of a fried
pie.
"We don't have too … no. As long as one of us is here with you I think it should be pretty safe
during the day." He replied. "I think Adam was just concerned things might be easier for
Esperanza if she was away from all this." Duncan admitted.
"Where is Adam? Up in his room?" Beth asked, and Duncan and Amanda shared a glance.
"He had some things to do … he left as soon as we got here." Duncan explained. What he
wasn't saying was that Adam had called and asked them to get there as soon as they could. He
didn't say why, but he was anxious to get out of the house … and had a sullen look on his face
when he left.
"Oh … he must have forgotten to mention it …" Beth replied, disappointed that he was not there.
"Beth … I was going to contact that Lt. Taylor you mentioned … ask him about the photos Devan
sent, but I couldn't find them. The bracelet and tape were here … did Adam move them?"
Beth looked down at the table and sighed. "I sort of destroyed them." She turned and looked
over her shoulder toward the fireplace.
"Oh." Amanda and Duncan replied together, wondering what that was all about.
"I'm afraid my anger got the best of me … I can't touch Devan myself, but those photos … I don't
need any reminders like that … I remember what he did quite well without them." She explained,
getting up and walking into the shop kitchen, her eyes gazing at pan after pan of baked goods.
"Do you want to open up the shop?" Amanda asked as she walked in behind her.
"No." Beth replied. "I probably should, but not today … I'm just not up to it. Tomorrow is
Saturday … maybe I'll just wait until Monday to open up … take the weekend off. Maybe we
could box some of this up and take it to the mission on 10th. There's no since letting it go to
waste."
"Sounds like a good idea." Amanda agreed. "You look a little tired … did you sleep at all?"
Beth thought about the night she'd spent with Adam on the sofa and a soft smile played on her
lips. "Actually I did sleep well … very well."
Amanda noticed the change in her features, and her curiosity piqued.
They walked back into the main room just as Duncan was putting a leash on Barkley. "This guy
is climbing the walls … thought I'd take him for a walk. Will you two be ok?" he asked, knowing
Amanda was capable of protecting them.
"We'll be fine." Amanda said, waiving him out the door.
Beth heated some water for a cup of tea and the two women sat back down at the table.
"You've got to take these away from me." Amanda said, reaching for one more pie. Beth
laughed and set the platter on the sidebar.
"Amanda … can I ask you something?" Beth asked as she stared down into her cup.
"Of course."
"How long have you known Adam?"
Amanda raised one eyebrow as she put her fork down. "It seems like ages." She said truthfully.
"Why?"
"What happened?" Beth asked.
Amanda didn't know what she meant … a multitude of possibilities raced through her mind.
"What happened when?"
"He lost someone he cared about didn't he? Someone he loved."
Amanda realized now what was going on. She'd seen him walk out of the gala the night before
and had noticed the aggravation in his expression when she'd seen he and Duncan talking
through the glass doors of the reception hall. And she'd noticed how Beth had clung to him with
such trust the night before. Duncan had blown her off when she asked him about it, but now she
knew she'd been right. Something was going on between these two … which was probably why
Adam practically ran out the door when they arrived.
"Has he said anything to make you think that?" Amanda replied.
"Adam doesn't talk about himself much at all." Beth admitted. "But when I was so upset about
Craig this morning, I could swear he was reliving some painful memory himself. I could see the
pain and loss in his eyes … I heard it in his voice."
"I don't think it's my place to talk about it if Adam hasn't." Amanda replied, knowing how angry he
would be at her if she did.
"So I'm right." Beth stated. Amanda nodded.
"Is there anything you can tell me?"
"Why is this so important?" Amanda replied with her own question.
"I don't know." Beth admitted, but Amanda's look of doubt caused her to rethink her answer.
"Because I care about him. Because today I saw for the first time how much he was hurting and
it broke my heart." Her eyes glistened with emotion.
Amanda shook her head. She guessed that when Beth said care for him, she wasn't far from
admitting much more … but when the object of her affection was Methos … she immediately felt
sorry for the woman. He was a tough nut to crack.
"For the past weeks he's put me and my safety first in his life." Beth continued. "He's protected
me and listened to me and given me a shoulder to cry on when I needed it … and all the while …
he's going through his own hell … mourning his own loss … I feel so selfish when I think about it."
"He deals with things in his own way." Amanda told her. "Personally … I think it's been good for
him to focus on something else." She saw her vague answers were only torturing Beth even
more.
"Beth … If I tell you … can you keep it to yourself unless he brings it up?" Amanda asked. "He'll
be upset with you if you make him talk about it when he's not ready … and he'll hate me for sure."
"I can do that … I just need to know Amanda … I need to know why he hurts so much."
Amanda looked over her shoulder, almost as if she expected someone to overhear.
"Adam met a woman named Alexa … she worked for Joe at the club. It was sort of love at first
site …" Amanda began. "But Alexa … she was sick … really sick. And there was nothing
anyone could do. They didn't have long … less than a year. But from what I could see …. They
shared more than most people find in a lifetime." She paused. "Adam loved her very much …"
"How awful for him." Beth whispered, brushing the tears that had begun to fall from her eyes.
"God I'm such an idiot."
"You couldn't have known … he won't talk about it except maybe to Duncan." Amanda replied.
"I must have seemed like such a blubbering baby this morning when he caught me burning the
photos. I went on and on about growing up with Craig and the 25 years we had together not
being enough … and complaining about how it wasn't enough … " Beth covered her head with
her hands and shook her head. "He must have though I was a real twit to complain when he'd
lost her almost as soon as he found her."
"I'm sure he didn't think that Beth. It probably brought back difficult memories for him, but he
wouldn't blame you for saying what you felt."
"How long has she been gone?" Beth asked.
"Almost two years now …"
Beth shook her head. "I wish he felt he could talk about it."
"Adam keeps a lot inside … It's his way of protecting himself … of surviving. I wouldn't push it …"
When Beth came down from her shower, Duncan and Amanda were in the kitchen.
"I hope you don't mind." Amanda smiled as she popped a bite of some confection in her mouth.
"No … no … not at all." Beth waved her hand for emphasis. "Esperanza baked all of that for the
shop today … they won't be any good if they aren't fresh."
She turned to see Duncan pouring a couple cups of coffee. "Want a cup?" he asked, holding the
pot up.
"Uhm no thanks … no caffeine allowed." She patted her middle and smiled.
The three of them sat at the table.
"Are you sure we have to keep the shop closed?" Beth asked, picking a bit of crust off of a fried
pie.
"We don't have too … no. As long as one of us is here with you I think it should be pretty safe
during the day." He replied. "I think Adam was just concerned things might be easier for
Esperanza if she was away from all this." Duncan admitted.
"Where is Adam? Up in his room?" Beth asked, and Duncan and Amanda shared a glance.
"He had some things to do … he left as soon as we got here." Duncan explained. What he
wasn't saying was that Adam had called and asked them to get there as soon as they could. He
didn't say why, but he was anxious to get out of the house … and had a sullen look on his face
when he left.
"Oh … he must have forgotten to mention it …" Beth replied, disappointed that he was not there.
"Beth … I was going to contact that Lt. Taylor you mentioned … ask him about the photos Devan
sent, but I couldn't find them. The bracelet and tape were here … did Adam move them?"
Beth looked down at the table and sighed. "I sort of destroyed them." She turned and looked
over her shoulder toward the fireplace.
"Oh." Amanda and Duncan replied together, wondering what that was all about.
"I'm afraid my anger got the best of me … I can't touch Devan myself, but those photos … I don't
need any reminders like that … I remember what he did quite well without them." She explained,
getting up and walking into the shop kitchen, her eyes gazing at pan after pan of baked goods.
"Do you want to open up the shop?" Amanda asked as she walked in behind her.
"No." Beth replied. "I probably should, but not today … I'm just not up to it. Tomorrow is
Saturday … maybe I'll just wait until Monday to open up … take the weekend off. Maybe we
could box some of this up and take it to the mission on 10th. There's no since letting it go to
waste."
"Sounds like a good idea." Amanda agreed. "You look a little tired … did you sleep at all?"
Beth thought about the night she'd spent with Adam on the sofa and a soft smile played on her
lips. "Actually I did sleep well … very well."
Amanda noticed the change in her features, and her curiosity piqued.
They walked back into the main room just as Duncan was putting a leash on Barkley. "This guy
is climbing the walls … thought I'd take him for a walk. Will you two be ok?" he asked, knowing
Amanda was capable of protecting them.
"We'll be fine." Amanda said, waiving him out the door.
Beth heated some water for a cup of tea and the two women sat back down at the table.
"You've got to take these away from me." Amanda said, reaching for one more pie. Beth
laughed and set the platter on the sidebar.
"Amanda … can I ask you something?" Beth asked as she stared down into her cup.
"Of course."
"How long have you known Adam?"
Amanda raised one eyebrow as she put her fork down. "It seems like ages." She said truthfully.
"Why?"
"What happened?" Beth asked.
Amanda didn't know what she meant … a multitude of possibilities raced through her mind.
"What happened when?"
"He lost someone he cared about didn't he? Someone he loved."
Amanda realized now what was going on. She'd seen him walk out of the gala the night before
and had noticed the aggravation in his expression when she'd seen he and Duncan talking
through the glass doors of the reception hall. And she'd noticed how Beth had clung to him with
such trust the night before. Duncan had blown her off when she asked him about it, but now she
knew she'd been right. Something was going on between these two … which was probably why
Adam practically ran out the door when they arrived.
"Has he said anything to make you think that?" Amanda replied.
"Adam doesn't talk about himself much at all." Beth admitted. "But when I was so upset about
Craig this morning, I could swear he was reliving some painful memory himself. I could see the
pain and loss in his eyes … I heard it in his voice."
"I don't think it's my place to talk about it if Adam hasn't." Amanda replied, knowing how angry he
would be at her if she did.
"So I'm right." Beth stated. Amanda nodded.
"Is there anything you can tell me?"
"Why is this so important?" Amanda replied with her own question.
"I don't know." Beth admitted, but Amanda's look of doubt caused her to rethink her answer.
"Because I care about him. Because today I saw for the first time how much he was hurting and
it broke my heart." Her eyes glistened with emotion.
Amanda shook her head. She guessed that when Beth said care for him, she wasn't far from
admitting much more … but when the object of her affection was Methos … she immediately felt
sorry for the woman. He was a tough nut to crack.
"For the past weeks he's put me and my safety first in his life." Beth continued. "He's protected
me and listened to me and given me a shoulder to cry on when I needed it … and all the while …
he's going through his own hell … mourning his own loss … I feel so selfish when I think about it."
"He deals with things in his own way." Amanda told her. "Personally … I think it's been good for
him to focus on something else." She saw her vague answers were only torturing Beth even
more.
"Beth … If I tell you … can you keep it to yourself unless he brings it up?" Amanda asked. "He'll
be upset with you if you make him talk about it when he's not ready … and he'll hate me for sure."
"I can do that … I just need to know Amanda … I need to know why he hurts so much."
Amanda looked over her shoulder, almost as if she expected someone to overhear.
"Adam met a woman named Alexa … she worked for Joe at the club. It was sort of love at first
site …" Amanda began. "But Alexa … she was sick … really sick. And there was nothing
anyone could do. They didn't have long … less than a year. But from what I could see …. They
shared more than most people find in a lifetime." She paused. "Adam loved her very much …"
"How awful for him." Beth whispered, brushing the tears that had begun to fall from her eyes.
"God I'm such an idiot."
"You couldn't have known … he won't talk about it except maybe to Duncan." Amanda replied.
"I must have seemed like such a blubbering baby this morning when he caught me burning the
photos. I went on and on about growing up with Craig and the 25 years we had together not
being enough … and complaining about how it wasn't enough … " Beth covered her head with
her hands and shook her head. "He must have though I was a real twit to complain when he'd
lost her almost as soon as he found her."
"I'm sure he didn't think that Beth. It probably brought back difficult memories for him, but he
wouldn't blame you for saying what you felt."
"How long has she been gone?" Beth asked.
"Almost two years now …"
Beth shook her head. "I wish he felt he could talk about it."
"Adam keeps a lot inside … It's his way of protecting himself … of surviving. I wouldn't push it …"