A/N: Well here it is, the last chapter. Sorry it took me so long. Life is
crazy right now with school and everything else. Anyway, I hope you've
enjoyed my fic. And hopefully you like this last chapter. I think the
characters might be slightly out of character, but I did my best. Thanks
for the reviews you've given me. Let me know what you think of this
chapter. (
Chapter 9: Saying Goodbye
Jack's POV ~ One week later ~
This has been the worst week of my life. I still can't believe she's gone. Her funeral was two days ago. Daniel, Teal'c, Hammond, Sam, Janet, and Cassie, they were all there, along with some other SGC personal.
I guess it was a nice ceremony. I've never been a big fan of funerals. I think I've been to too may of them. Anyway, I'm not the best judge of what makes a funeral "nice". Actually, I don't remember too much of it. I remember some music played, and people talked about Shani. I remember I said something's about her. But I don't remember what music was played or what anyone said, myself included. I think I was in some kind of daze. I guess I still am.
Every morning I get up, usually by 6am. I spend all morning sitting around, not even really thinking. Then in the afternoon people stop by. It's usually Daniel or Sam. We sit around not really saying much and eventually they leave. And I'm left by myself again.
"Sir?" I jumped.
"What are you doing here, Carter? And haven't you heard of a thing called knocking?"
"I did knock, sir. You didn't answer and the door was open so I thought I'd better check," she shifted uneasily.
"Thought I'd done myself in, Carter?"
"No, sir, it's just."I cut her off.
"It's fine, Carter. It's not like the thought hasn't crossed my mind," I glanced at her and saw the look of shock on her face. "Don't worry, Carter. I'm not that desperate for my life to end."
"Good," she said firmly.
I cleared my throat. "So, what are you doing here? You didn't say before."
She licked her lips nervously and cleared her throat. "Well, I, um, I thought maybe I could possibly."
"For cryin' out loud, Carter. Spit it out!"
"I thought maybe I could help you go through some of Shani's things." I froze.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Sam's POV
I started to regret the words the second they came out of my mouth. Jack froze and his face went white. I hurried to fix what I'd done. "I'm sorry, sir. That was inappropriate. Just forget it."
"It's fine, Carter," he muttered.
"No it's not, sir." he cut me off.
"I said, it's fine, Carter!" We stood there in silence. I can't remember when I've felt more uncomfortable.
"All right," I jumped as he spoke.
"Excuse me?"
"I said, all right. You can help me." He turned and headed to Shani's room. Quickly I followed him. When we got to the closed door of her room he stopped.
"Sir."
"Just give me a minute." Even though he couldn't see me I nodded in understanding.
I heard him take a deep breath and then he opened the door.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Jack's POV
Everything is the exact same. Her bed is still unmade, her pillows tossed carelessly on the floor. Her pajamas are crumpled on top of her blankets. Some of her books are on her desk. I smiled softly. For someone who'd only been on Earth for a week, she sure had a lot of stuff. But I'd wanted her to feel at home, like she had always belonged here.
"Colonel? We don't have to do this now," Sam said quietly.
"Yeah, I think I do."
"Alright." Sam moved to make Shani's bed and I went to start picking up her books.
*****
~ a half-hour later ~
"Jack?" Sam called me from the other side of the room. I looked over at her, surprised by the use of my first name. When I saw the look on her face I moved quickly towards her.
"What is it?" I asked. Sam handed me an envelope. I flipped it over and saw my name. I looked at her questioningly.
"I found it in a book she had under her bed," she hesitated. "Do you want me to go so you can read it alone?"
I paused for a minute. "No I'd like you to be here, Sam." Then I sat down on the floor beside her and with my hands shaking ever so slightly, I opened the envelope.
Dad-
As I wrote that I realized something. I've haven't called you "dad" out loud yet. The strange thing is, since I met you at the base that's what I've called you in my head. Actually I've always called you "dad", even when I hadn't met you.
Anyway, you probably think this is weird. Getting a letter from someone who lives in your house, I mean. But I feel like I need to write this because I can't talk about it with you in person.
When I was a kid I always wanted to know about you. Everybody around me had two parents, or at least knew who both their parents were. But all I knew was that I had a dad named Jack from a place called Earth. Obviously that isn't a lot of information. And mom couldn't tell me anything about you. After all, she barely knew you. I always told her that one day I would find you. One day I would be like the rest of the people around me who knew both their parents. Mom would just smile at me and say "Sure Shani. One day you can find him."
When she died I was all alone. I didn't have any other family and I'd never really had any friends. So I decided to come find you. Part of it was because I wanted to know about you and part of it was because I needed a reason. A reason why you had left my mom and me. See, I'd never been told the circumstances about your marriage, so as I got older, I figured you were just some jerk who'd gotten what he wanted from mom and decided to bail.
When I finally met you it was so weird. It was like meeting a total stranger. But at the same time I had this feeling, like I'd known you my entire life.
This whole week has been "sweet" (as you say). Getting to know my dad is a dream come true. And I just wanted to thank you for everything. I feel so lucky to have a dad like you. Charlie was lucky too. I hope you know this. Anyway, that's all. I think I hear Sam in the living room. The BBQ tonight is going to be awesome. By the way, I love you.
You daughter forever, Shani
I felt Sam touch my shoulder softly. "You okay?" she whispered.
I shook my head. A few tears began to slide down my cheeks. I looked at Sam helplessly and saw the tears moving down her cheeks. "It'll be okay, Jack," she whispered.
My shoulders began to shake as at last it sunk in. My daughter wasn't coming back. Sam slid her arms around me and I cried onto her shoulder. And I silently said goodbye.
Chapter 9: Saying Goodbye
Jack's POV ~ One week later ~
This has been the worst week of my life. I still can't believe she's gone. Her funeral was two days ago. Daniel, Teal'c, Hammond, Sam, Janet, and Cassie, they were all there, along with some other SGC personal.
I guess it was a nice ceremony. I've never been a big fan of funerals. I think I've been to too may of them. Anyway, I'm not the best judge of what makes a funeral "nice". Actually, I don't remember too much of it. I remember some music played, and people talked about Shani. I remember I said something's about her. But I don't remember what music was played or what anyone said, myself included. I think I was in some kind of daze. I guess I still am.
Every morning I get up, usually by 6am. I spend all morning sitting around, not even really thinking. Then in the afternoon people stop by. It's usually Daniel or Sam. We sit around not really saying much and eventually they leave. And I'm left by myself again.
"Sir?" I jumped.
"What are you doing here, Carter? And haven't you heard of a thing called knocking?"
"I did knock, sir. You didn't answer and the door was open so I thought I'd better check," she shifted uneasily.
"Thought I'd done myself in, Carter?"
"No, sir, it's just."I cut her off.
"It's fine, Carter. It's not like the thought hasn't crossed my mind," I glanced at her and saw the look of shock on her face. "Don't worry, Carter. I'm not that desperate for my life to end."
"Good," she said firmly.
I cleared my throat. "So, what are you doing here? You didn't say before."
She licked her lips nervously and cleared her throat. "Well, I, um, I thought maybe I could possibly."
"For cryin' out loud, Carter. Spit it out!"
"I thought maybe I could help you go through some of Shani's things." I froze.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Sam's POV
I started to regret the words the second they came out of my mouth. Jack froze and his face went white. I hurried to fix what I'd done. "I'm sorry, sir. That was inappropriate. Just forget it."
"It's fine, Carter," he muttered.
"No it's not, sir." he cut me off.
"I said, it's fine, Carter!" We stood there in silence. I can't remember when I've felt more uncomfortable.
"All right," I jumped as he spoke.
"Excuse me?"
"I said, all right. You can help me." He turned and headed to Shani's room. Quickly I followed him. When we got to the closed door of her room he stopped.
"Sir."
"Just give me a minute." Even though he couldn't see me I nodded in understanding.
I heard him take a deep breath and then he opened the door.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Jack's POV
Everything is the exact same. Her bed is still unmade, her pillows tossed carelessly on the floor. Her pajamas are crumpled on top of her blankets. Some of her books are on her desk. I smiled softly. For someone who'd only been on Earth for a week, she sure had a lot of stuff. But I'd wanted her to feel at home, like she had always belonged here.
"Colonel? We don't have to do this now," Sam said quietly.
"Yeah, I think I do."
"Alright." Sam moved to make Shani's bed and I went to start picking up her books.
*****
~ a half-hour later ~
"Jack?" Sam called me from the other side of the room. I looked over at her, surprised by the use of my first name. When I saw the look on her face I moved quickly towards her.
"What is it?" I asked. Sam handed me an envelope. I flipped it over and saw my name. I looked at her questioningly.
"I found it in a book she had under her bed," she hesitated. "Do you want me to go so you can read it alone?"
I paused for a minute. "No I'd like you to be here, Sam." Then I sat down on the floor beside her and with my hands shaking ever so slightly, I opened the envelope.
Dad-
As I wrote that I realized something. I've haven't called you "dad" out loud yet. The strange thing is, since I met you at the base that's what I've called you in my head. Actually I've always called you "dad", even when I hadn't met you.
Anyway, you probably think this is weird. Getting a letter from someone who lives in your house, I mean. But I feel like I need to write this because I can't talk about it with you in person.
When I was a kid I always wanted to know about you. Everybody around me had two parents, or at least knew who both their parents were. But all I knew was that I had a dad named Jack from a place called Earth. Obviously that isn't a lot of information. And mom couldn't tell me anything about you. After all, she barely knew you. I always told her that one day I would find you. One day I would be like the rest of the people around me who knew both their parents. Mom would just smile at me and say "Sure Shani. One day you can find him."
When she died I was all alone. I didn't have any other family and I'd never really had any friends. So I decided to come find you. Part of it was because I wanted to know about you and part of it was because I needed a reason. A reason why you had left my mom and me. See, I'd never been told the circumstances about your marriage, so as I got older, I figured you were just some jerk who'd gotten what he wanted from mom and decided to bail.
When I finally met you it was so weird. It was like meeting a total stranger. But at the same time I had this feeling, like I'd known you my entire life.
This whole week has been "sweet" (as you say). Getting to know my dad is a dream come true. And I just wanted to thank you for everything. I feel so lucky to have a dad like you. Charlie was lucky too. I hope you know this. Anyway, that's all. I think I hear Sam in the living room. The BBQ tonight is going to be awesome. By the way, I love you.
You daughter forever, Shani
I felt Sam touch my shoulder softly. "You okay?" she whispered.
I shook my head. A few tears began to slide down my cheeks. I looked at Sam helplessly and saw the tears moving down her cheeks. "It'll be okay, Jack," she whispered.
My shoulders began to shake as at last it sunk in. My daughter wasn't coming back. Sam slid her arms around me and I cried onto her shoulder. And I silently said goodbye.