CHAPTER 38
Beth's eyes turned in hopeful anticipation to the door as soon as she heard it begin to open.
Richie and Amanda made an excuse and slipped out as Adam waited by the door.
"Hi." She said softly.
"Hi." He repeated, closing the door and coming to stand at the foot of the bed. He looked up at
the monitors and noticed her pulse becoming quicker and frowned. "This was probably a bad
idea. I don't want to upset you." He looked everywhere but into her eyes, trying to be detached.
"I don't want you to be uncomfortable Adam … if you don't want to see me … I understand."
"The baby's heartbeat looks strong." He commenting, ignoring her statement.
"For now …" she said, her voice full of worry. "The doctor said I am a mess though …"
"I'm sorry … it's my fault." Adam replied.
"How is it your fault and not mine?" she argued. "What could you have done differently? Joe
told me how hard it is to be … an immortal." She swallowed hard. "He told me what a lonely life
it is … losing everyone you care about … living in secret or risk being hunted like a dog by people
who would kill you simply because they don't understand you … because they are afraid."
"Are you afraid Beth?" he asked.
"I'm not afraid of you Adam." She answered. "I'm sorry I panicked. I'm sorry I said those terrible
things to you … But when I saw your arm … I was so shocked … and I was already upset.
When I thought I'd never see you again earlier tonight … I lost it …"
Adam looked at the floor and shoved his hands deeper into the pockets of his jeans. "I'm fine
Beth. And you don't need to apologize … you didn't do anything wrong. You said what you felt
… you were honest."
"I was wrong." She replied. "I was so wrong to compare you to Devan … so wrong to hurt you
like that … to pull away."
"That doesn't matter. What matters is that you need to rest … and get your strength back so you
can carry this baby to term."
"That's not all that matters." She said. "You matter … you matter to me."
"Beth … let's not talk about this now … you don't need to get upset."
"You hate me don't you?" her face fell as she replied, mistaking his distance for indifference.
"You trusted me … and I hurt you … and now you can't forgive me …"
Adam took a deep breath and walked to the side of the bed. "I don't hate you Beth … I could
never hate you. I just don't think I'm what you need … what either of you need." He nodded
toward the fetal monitor.
"You're wrong … " she reached out and clutched the edge of his sweater since his hands were
still in his pockets and out of reach. "I do need you … I need you more than you can know."
She watched as his eyes moved from where she still held his sweater to her face. "Unless you
changed your mind." She quietly voiced her fear.
"I haven't changed my mind." He replied, pulling his hand out of his pocket and taking hers. "But
I don't want to hurt you … and I did. This is more complicated than you could possibly have
known when you let me get close to you. And now you are in here because of me."
"I'm in here because of that man who attacked you … and because of Devan … You can't help
the way things are … and you shouldn't feel sorry about being who you are … because you are
wonderful Adam … you are so wonderful. " her eyes glistened and Adam found the wall around
his heart melting again for this woman.
Kneeling beside the bed he held her one small hand in both of his and bent his head to kiss first
the back of her hand and then turned it to plant another on her delicate wrist, causing her breath
caught in her throat as she looked into his eyes. "I was so afraid I'd ruined everything." She
fretted.
"Beth … you need to rest. We can talk about all of this later." He plead with her.
"Will you stay with me?" she asked.
"I'm not going anywhere … " he replied, still holding her hand as he moved to the chair.
Beth smiled gently, rolled to one side to face him and closed her eyes as he stroked her face and
hair.
Adam watched the monitors carefully … feeling some relief when he saw the numbers begin to
go down on the monitor attached to her finger.
Amanda looked in after a while. Neither she nor Adam spoke for fear of waking her, but when
she saw Beth sleeping and Adam watching her so intently, she knew things were going to be all
right. She mouthed silently that they were going home and Adam nodded, turning his attention
immediately back to the woman who had come to mean so much to him.
She'd been sleeping for almost two hours when Adam raised his head from where he'd been
dozing with his arms crossed and leaning on the edge of the mattress. He heard her begin to
whimper and jerk slightly. Adam frowned, knowing a nightmare was trying to overtake her rest.
Quietly and carefully, he lowered the side rail behind her and slipped onto the narrow bed. He
spooned his body against hers and held her tightly, whispering almost inaudible endearments as
he soothed her mind and chased the nightmare away.
Beth's eyes turned in hopeful anticipation to the door as soon as she heard it begin to open.
Richie and Amanda made an excuse and slipped out as Adam waited by the door.
"Hi." She said softly.
"Hi." He repeated, closing the door and coming to stand at the foot of the bed. He looked up at
the monitors and noticed her pulse becoming quicker and frowned. "This was probably a bad
idea. I don't want to upset you." He looked everywhere but into her eyes, trying to be detached.
"I don't want you to be uncomfortable Adam … if you don't want to see me … I understand."
"The baby's heartbeat looks strong." He commenting, ignoring her statement.
"For now …" she said, her voice full of worry. "The doctor said I am a mess though …"
"I'm sorry … it's my fault." Adam replied.
"How is it your fault and not mine?" she argued. "What could you have done differently? Joe
told me how hard it is to be … an immortal." She swallowed hard. "He told me what a lonely life
it is … losing everyone you care about … living in secret or risk being hunted like a dog by people
who would kill you simply because they don't understand you … because they are afraid."
"Are you afraid Beth?" he asked.
"I'm not afraid of you Adam." She answered. "I'm sorry I panicked. I'm sorry I said those terrible
things to you … But when I saw your arm … I was so shocked … and I was already upset.
When I thought I'd never see you again earlier tonight … I lost it …"
Adam looked at the floor and shoved his hands deeper into the pockets of his jeans. "I'm fine
Beth. And you don't need to apologize … you didn't do anything wrong. You said what you felt
… you were honest."
"I was wrong." She replied. "I was so wrong to compare you to Devan … so wrong to hurt you
like that … to pull away."
"That doesn't matter. What matters is that you need to rest … and get your strength back so you
can carry this baby to term."
"That's not all that matters." She said. "You matter … you matter to me."
"Beth … let's not talk about this now … you don't need to get upset."
"You hate me don't you?" her face fell as she replied, mistaking his distance for indifference.
"You trusted me … and I hurt you … and now you can't forgive me …"
Adam took a deep breath and walked to the side of the bed. "I don't hate you Beth … I could
never hate you. I just don't think I'm what you need … what either of you need." He nodded
toward the fetal monitor.
"You're wrong … " she reached out and clutched the edge of his sweater since his hands were
still in his pockets and out of reach. "I do need you … I need you more than you can know."
She watched as his eyes moved from where she still held his sweater to her face. "Unless you
changed your mind." She quietly voiced her fear.
"I haven't changed my mind." He replied, pulling his hand out of his pocket and taking hers. "But
I don't want to hurt you … and I did. This is more complicated than you could possibly have
known when you let me get close to you. And now you are in here because of me."
"I'm in here because of that man who attacked you … and because of Devan … You can't help
the way things are … and you shouldn't feel sorry about being who you are … because you are
wonderful Adam … you are so wonderful. " her eyes glistened and Adam found the wall around
his heart melting again for this woman.
Kneeling beside the bed he held her one small hand in both of his and bent his head to kiss first
the back of her hand and then turned it to plant another on her delicate wrist, causing her breath
caught in her throat as she looked into his eyes. "I was so afraid I'd ruined everything." She
fretted.
"Beth … you need to rest. We can talk about all of this later." He plead with her.
"Will you stay with me?" she asked.
"I'm not going anywhere … " he replied, still holding her hand as he moved to the chair.
Beth smiled gently, rolled to one side to face him and closed her eyes as he stroked her face and
hair.
Adam watched the monitors carefully … feeling some relief when he saw the numbers begin to
go down on the monitor attached to her finger.
Amanda looked in after a while. Neither she nor Adam spoke for fear of waking her, but when
she saw Beth sleeping and Adam watching her so intently, she knew things were going to be all
right. She mouthed silently that they were going home and Adam nodded, turning his attention
immediately back to the woman who had come to mean so much to him.
She'd been sleeping for almost two hours when Adam raised his head from where he'd been
dozing with his arms crossed and leaning on the edge of the mattress. He heard her begin to
whimper and jerk slightly. Adam frowned, knowing a nightmare was trying to overtake her rest.
Quietly and carefully, he lowered the side rail behind her and slipped onto the narrow bed. He
spooned his body against hers and held her tightly, whispering almost inaudible endearments as
he soothed her mind and chased the nightmare away.