*****
[She's his yellow brick road
Leading him on
And letting him go
as far as she lets him go
Going down to nowhere
She puts on her make-up
The same way she did yesterday
Hoping everything's the same
But everything has changed]
*****
Cindy sat up in bed, breathing heavily. She had just had the most horrible dream. She dreamed that she and Jimmy had gotten into a fight, a bad one. Jimmy had been angry with her because she had wanted to go to the movies with her cousin Candace and Candace's boyfriend, who Jimmy claimed had been hitting on her earlier. She had responded by saying that he was jealous and overprotective, and that he was being stupid by not letting her go. He had said that he still didn't want her going, no matter what she thought of him, so she had yelled that she was going no matter what he said, and that she hated him, and then – and this was the crazy part – she had taken the promise ring off her finger and thrown it at him. That's right, the promise ring. The one he had bought her a little over a year ago, right after they had started dating. The one with the gold band and a small pearl, her birthstone, right in the middle. The one she hadn't taken off ever since he had given it to her. That promise ring. Crazy, huh? And then she had told him that she had had it, that the relationship was over, and that she never wanted to see him again. If the dream hadn't scared her so bad, it would have made her laugh. Like she would ever, in a million years, say that to Jimmy.
Cindy reached for the phone so she could call Jimmy and tell him about her crazy dream. She knew he'd get a laugh out of it. And then he'd assure her that it was all a dream, and that they'd be together forever, and she'd go to sleep and have only good dreams.
She glanced at the clock as she reached for the phone. Midnight. Pretty late, but it didn't matter. They always called each other late at night, just to hear each other's voice and wish each other good night. In fact, Cindy was surprised that Jimmy hadn't called her yet that night.
Her hand lay on the receiver, ready to pick it up. Looking closer, however, she noticed that her hand looked a little bare. She realized instantly what was missing – the promise ring.
Cindy took her hand slowly off the receiver, then buried her head in her arms and began to cry.
*****
[In my mind
Everything we did was right
Open your eyes, I'll still be by your side
How could I ever have been so blind?
You give me something to sleep to
at night]
*****
What had she been thinking? What had gotten into her? She didn't mean any of what she had said. She didn't want the relationship to be over. She didn't think he was too jealous and overprotective (well, sometimes she did, but that wasn't the point). And she certainly didn't hate him. She loved him more than anything, and she was crazy – insane, more like – to say anything to even suggest otherwise. Why had she even started that fight in the first place? But I didn't start the fight, she reminded herself. He did. Him and his stupid jealousy.
What did he expect Candy's boyfriend to do, anyway? They were just going to go to a movie, and Candace was going to be there, too. He'd have to be crazy to try anything, because if there was one thing Candace didn't tolerate, it was cheating boyfriends. Word had it that her last boyfriend still didn't have his full memory back. Besides, even if he did start hitting on her, what did Jimmy expect her to do? Start kissing him? Like she would every choose Candy's boyfriend over Jimmy. Why did he always have to jump to the worst possible scenario? Didn't he realize how much he meant to her? Obviously not.
Maybe I should call him, Cindy thought. Call him and tell him that I didn't mean it, that I love him, that I'm sor- no, no. He started the stupid fight, let him apologize first. Yeah, that's right. He was wrong, so he should apologize, not her.
Not her.
*****
[He wakes up to the sound
So scared that she's leaving
He wishes she were still
asleep next to him
Hoping she will change]
*****
The phone rang next to Jimmy, waking him up. Figuring it was Cindy, he picked it up.
"Hello?" he said, a bit groggily.
"Hi, this is Bill Seller, and have I got a deal for you!"
Duh, Jimmy. It's not Cindy, remember what happened?
"It's midnight. I'm trying to sleep. Go away," Jimmy said, hanging up. He supposed that was kind of rude, but he didn't particularly care at the moment. How could he have been so stupid, thinking it was Cindy? Cindy wasn't about to call him, not after what had happened. You don't call people that you hate.
Jimmy picked the ring up off his bedside table and looked at it. It had a scratch from landing on the cement when she had thrown it at him. Everything had happened so fast. He had tried to reasonably explain the reason that he didn't want her going to the movies, and the next thing he knew the ring was flying at him and bouncing off his head. She had stormed off, back to her house, leaving him standing there in shock. Jimmy felt the beginnings of a tear form in his eye, and he rubbed it away angrily. He wasn't going to cry. It was over, and no amount of tears were going to change that fact.
Goddard, who had gone into wake mode when the phone rang, licked Jimmy's hand to comfort him. Jimmy smiled a sad smile at Goddard, who then nuzzled him. Jimmy hugged Goddard, and burst into tears.
Crying may not have got him back with Cindy, but it sure felt nice.
*****
[In my mind
Everything we did was right
Open your eyes, I'll still be by your side
How could I ever have been so blind?
You give me something to sleep to
at night]
*****
There had been times, Jimmy remembered, when the only thing that kept him wanting to wake up in the morning was the knowledge that she would be there when he woke up. Didn't she realize that? Didn't she realize that she was mostly the only thing that kept him going a lot of the time? And now that she was gone, what was going to keep him going now? What else did he have? Maybe he should go to Cindy and apologize, tell her that he had been a stupid, dumb jerk and that he wanted her to forgive him….
A whine from Goddard caused Jimmy to break out of his thoughts. Thinking that maybe he wanted to go outside to chase a cat or something, Jimmy looked over at him. Goddard was still sitting on the bed next to him. Jimmy gave him a questioning look, and Goddard just grinned a doggy grin and licked his cheek.
I swear, sometimes that dog can read my mind, Jimmy thought. I don't need Cindy. I have Goddard, and my family and friends. I don't need to apologize to her. If anything, she started it. She had to go and throw a hissy fit over a tiny thing! It's all her fault. If she wants to apologize, then I guess I'll take her back, but I'm not doing the apologizing myself. Not me.
Not me.
*****
[You give me something to sleep to
And all I know is
You give me something to dream to when
I'm all alone and blue
Don't leave me now
Don't leave me now]
*****
Cindy sat on the edge of her bed, kicking the frame of the bed with her heels. She had a mental war raging inside her head. Half of her brain said that she should stop being a stubborn, spoiled little brat and go apologize. The other half said that the fight wasn't her fault, and that she had no reason to apologize. Cindy was quite content to listen to the two sides argue for a while, but she knew that she would have to make a decision soon. Was her pride more important than Jimmy, or was it the other way around? She'd like to think that it was more than pride that was keeping her from apologizing, that it was really the fact that she had been right, but she knew in her heart that's what it was. Pride. And sometimes, for the sake of love, you have to swallow your pride and just admit you were wrong, no matter how much you feel your ego suffers from it.
Cindy slid on her shoes and headed for the door.
*****
Jimmy looked over at Cindy's house, at Cindy's window more specifically. Her nightlight was on, and in the faint glow he could just see her heading out the door of her room. Probably just going to get a snack or something.
This is it, this is your chance, Jimmy, his heart said. She's awake, go apologize.
Don't listen to that bumbling fool! His mind said. Why apologize for something that's not your fault?
Heart versus mind. Who should he listen to? He sighed a little, knowing who almost always won in these battles. Stupid to delay the inevitable, really, he thought, glancing at Cindy's ring, which he was still holding.
Jimmy slid on his shoes and headed for the door.
*****
[Don't leave me now
Don't leave me now
Don't leave me now]
*****
Cindy shut the door behind her, being as quiet as possible so as not to wake her parents. She then turned, and, after hesitating a moment, headed for Jimmy's. Wait a minute… there was someone walking toward her. She walked a little closer, glad that she knew Tai Chi in case she had to defend herself. But it wasn't a stranger who was walking toward her. As the person got closer, she saw that it was Jimmy. She almost chickened out, turned around and left. But she wasn't about to do that. Chickening out wasn't something Cindy Vortex did. So she kept walking, stopping straight in front of Jimmy.
*****
[Don't leave me now
Don't leave me now
Don't leave me now]
*****
"Cindy, I-"
"Jimmy, I-"
They both spoke at the same time, then cut off to let the other one finish.
"Ladies first," Jimmy said.
Oh, now he's a gentleman, Cindy thought. She opened her mouth, about to go off into some big apology speech, totally bruising her ego in the process, but Jimmy suddenly realized that he didn't need to hear it. He pressed a finger to her lips so she wouldn't talk, and then motioned for her to put out her hand. She did, and he set the promise ring in it.
*****
[In my mind
Everything we did was right
Open your eyes, I'll still be by your side
How could I ever have been so blind?
You give me something to sleep to
Something to sleep to
at night]
*****
Cindy got tears in her eyes at the sight of the ring and threw her arms around Jimmy, hugging him tight. Jimmy kissed her on the cheek, and then whispered something to her at the same time she whispered it to him.
"I'm sorry."