CHAPTER 52
Over the next few days, things were a little strained between Beth and Adam. She wasn't ready
to talk with him about the subject of the future … and it was killing him not knowing what she was
thinking. Adam knew that if she couldn't accept the way they would have to live to be together,
he couldn't even consider acting on the plan detailed in the ancient manuscripts.
He still came to her room at night, and held her close … but their conversation never strayed far
from the day's events and her concerns about Devan and when he might make his move.
"Is something wrong?" Richie asked Beth after spending the afternoon at the house and realizing
things weren't as easy between she and Adam as they had been.
"Wrong?" she asked.
"Yeah … between you and Adam. He didn't do something to hurt you did he?" he asked.
"No … he didn't do anything." She replied. "Not anything he could help … "
"You've been this way for days … want to talk about it?" Richie cared about Beth, and as much
as it hurt him that she'd chosen Adam, he wanted to be there for her.
"Some things can't be changed by talking."
"Have you tried?" Richie wasn't going to be brushed off so easily. "Have you talked to anyone
besides Adam about it?"
Beth shook her head and began unloading the dishwasher as Richie hopped up on the counter,
obviously not taking no for an answer.
"It's just … have you thought about what it's going to be like when you fall in love Richie? In love
with a mortal?"
Richie didn't pick up on what she was talking about right away.
"You are going to be the same … for all time … but she's going to …" she didn't have to finish.
He got it.
"I've thought about it." Richie admitted after a long silence. "I've thought about it a lot." He
walked over to the table where she'd just sat down and pulled up a chair. "And I don't know what
I'm going to do when that time comes."
"Would you leave her?"
"Leave her? No, not if I loved her … but I know I'd have to figure out how to help her always
know how much I cared … how beautiful she would still be to me even when the years tried to tell
her it wasn't true."
Beth realized as he talked that he had really thought this through.
"Don't you think it might be easier on her … and on you, if you parted ways when the difference
became too great?"
Richie could see the sadness in her face and hear how her heart was breaking just thinking about
it. "How can you be apart from someone you love and know they are still there? That there is still
time to be together?"
"I want him to be happy." Her voice shook harder. "I don't want him to resent me … to resent
having to slow down his life because I can't keep up … to feel like he has to warm the bed of an
old woman, when …" she couldn't finish. She broke into tears. Richie moved to kneel beside
her, putting his hand on her shoulder and waiting until she could pull herself together.
"Beth … Adam may not age physically, but he'll be growing right along with you … Every day you
share, every joy, everything you go through … all of that becomes a part of both of you. And if he
really loves you … like I think we both know he does … the only time he'll be happy is when he's
with you, no matter what … You will be the woman he loves … the woman he wants to be with."
Richie said with conviction. "And if you want to really hurt him … pushing him away when you
both know it's not what you really want or because you are too insecure about things that really
don't matter, you'll tear out his heart."
Beth let out a little tear-filled laugh. "When did you get to be so wise?"
"You tend to grow up quick after the first few death experiences." He laughed. "And Mac has
taught me a lot … trying to help me be ready for life as it happens. He's helped me see things a
little more realistically … helped me learn how to make better choices. You know Adam and I
aren't close or anything … most of the time he just tolerates me. But I've learned a little about
him, and if he's asked you to spend the rest of your life with him … he meant all of it. There's no
halfway with him, and he doesn't start what he doesn't know he can finish. He knows what it will
be like for both of you … he's been there … "
"And what do we tell this little one?" she pressed her hand against the growing child.
"I don't know … but I'm sure Adam has an idea or he wouldn't have let himself get so close to
you." Richie knew that was a wrinkle that would be tough. "Beth … do you really love him?" he
had to ask.
"More than I thought I could." She answered honestly.
"Then why can't you try to make this work? There's a lot of time between now and when this
gorgeous hair of yours turns gray … " he tugged on a lock of it and grinned. "If I were you I'd ask
myself if you love him … and if you trust him … and then I'd trust my heart and follow it."
Beth shook her head. "You sound like Adam … like it's so simple."
"Isn't it? You love him … he loves you … the rest you'll figure out as you go."
"God I want it to be that simple." She replied, pushing her hair back from her face.
Richie felt a presence and turned to find Adam standing in the doorway.
"Am I interrupting something?" Adam asked, noticing Beth wiping at her eyes.
Richie looked at Beth and she nodded. "I've got to get out of here … I'm going to start my last
watch at Claudia's." He said, giving Beth a little hug. "Remember what I said." He whispered
before nodding to Adam and leaving.
Adam walked across the room and kissed Beth lightly, wiping the moisture from the corner of her
eye. "Can I ask what that was about?"
"He knew I needed to talk …" she began.
"And you couldn't talk to me?" Adam was a little hurt.
"I needed to talk about you … and me … and what I wanted. I needed to talk to someone on the
outside."
Adam didn't like the way this sounded. He knew Richie still carried a torch for her.
"Did it help?"
Beth nodded. "I didn't think it would … he practically had to drag it out of me, but yeah … it
helped."
"And?"
"And I think you need to know what has been the hardest thing for me to come to grips with …
and it's not what you probably think." She took his hand and led him to sit beside her on the sofa.
"Adam … I need you to be honest with me …" she placed the hand she hadn't let go of over her
belly. "I know you love me … but what about the baby? How does a child fit into our life when we
have to move on?"
Adam spread his hand wide to caress her fully. "I'm not going to lie to you … it's been awhile
since I had anything to do with children … but this baby is a part of you … and I'd protect it with
my life. I know Craig is the father, but if we are together … I'd want to be as much of a parent to
this child as you will let me. And I can't separate the love I have for you, from your baby."
Beth put her hand over his. "But what do we do? We won't be able to hide the truth from the
baby when it gets older … eventually there will be questions. And what if … what if another
immortal comes for you? What if they see?"
"We'll deal with that when the time comes. I don't know how … but we'll figure it out. Every child
is different. We won't completely know how to handle the situation until we know more about
them. But I can promise you … I will never ask you to choose. We will find a way to be together
… all three of us."
"And when I'm gone? You'll watch out for them?"
"Always …"
Beth's hand touched the necklace he'd given her as she thought a moment about the last
question she had to ask. "I know I love you, but can I trust you Adam?"
"Beth, I can't promise to share everything with you. The life of an immortal means a life with
secrets … there are things you don't need to know, things I don't want you to be a part of … times
when I will have to go away and I won't want to talk about it when I return … " he began. "But
when it's between us … or about our family … you can trust me to put you first. And I will never
lie to you … I may not be able to tell you everything, but I won't lie to you."
Beth thought long and hard about what he was telling her. She knew there was some kind of
competition between immortals … Joe told her that much. But she didn't know anymore than
when two of them met in battle, only one survived. She hadn't asked Adam about it. Seeing the
fight between he and Mitchell that night on the beach was more than she wanted to know … for
now.
"Would you tell me if you thought you wouldn't be coming back?" she asked quietly, not able to
meet his gaze when she did.
"I make it a point to always come back." He replied, lifting her chin with his hand so she had to
look at him. "I'm a survivor Beth … it's what I do best."
He looked so confident … so sure … and yet, Beth couldn't help but think that he had survived
because he'd only had himself to watch out for. But she couldn't bring herself to say it.
"I won't like it when you say you won't tell me something I want to know. I trust you Adam … but
it doesn't mean I won't challenge you?"
"I wouldn't have it any other way." he said, cuffing her nose lightly.
"Does this mean we're going to make a go of it?" he asked hopefully.
Beth nodded. "But I have a condition … Will you come with me to the hospital tomorrow? I want
to find out what color we're going to paint the nursery … and I want you to be there when we find
out for sure if I'm right."
"If you're right?" Adam asked.
"I have a suspicion about this little one … but I'll wait and let the doctor tell us for sure."
"It's a date." He replied, bringing the back of her hand to his lips to kiss her knuckles.
Over the next few days, things were a little strained between Beth and Adam. She wasn't ready
to talk with him about the subject of the future … and it was killing him not knowing what she was
thinking. Adam knew that if she couldn't accept the way they would have to live to be together,
he couldn't even consider acting on the plan detailed in the ancient manuscripts.
He still came to her room at night, and held her close … but their conversation never strayed far
from the day's events and her concerns about Devan and when he might make his move.
"Is something wrong?" Richie asked Beth after spending the afternoon at the house and realizing
things weren't as easy between she and Adam as they had been.
"Wrong?" she asked.
"Yeah … between you and Adam. He didn't do something to hurt you did he?" he asked.
"No … he didn't do anything." She replied. "Not anything he could help … "
"You've been this way for days … want to talk about it?" Richie cared about Beth, and as much
as it hurt him that she'd chosen Adam, he wanted to be there for her.
"Some things can't be changed by talking."
"Have you tried?" Richie wasn't going to be brushed off so easily. "Have you talked to anyone
besides Adam about it?"
Beth shook her head and began unloading the dishwasher as Richie hopped up on the counter,
obviously not taking no for an answer.
"It's just … have you thought about what it's going to be like when you fall in love Richie? In love
with a mortal?"
Richie didn't pick up on what she was talking about right away.
"You are going to be the same … for all time … but she's going to …" she didn't have to finish.
He got it.
"I've thought about it." Richie admitted after a long silence. "I've thought about it a lot." He
walked over to the table where she'd just sat down and pulled up a chair. "And I don't know what
I'm going to do when that time comes."
"Would you leave her?"
"Leave her? No, not if I loved her … but I know I'd have to figure out how to help her always
know how much I cared … how beautiful she would still be to me even when the years tried to tell
her it wasn't true."
Beth realized as he talked that he had really thought this through.
"Don't you think it might be easier on her … and on you, if you parted ways when the difference
became too great?"
Richie could see the sadness in her face and hear how her heart was breaking just thinking about
it. "How can you be apart from someone you love and know they are still there? That there is still
time to be together?"
"I want him to be happy." Her voice shook harder. "I don't want him to resent me … to resent
having to slow down his life because I can't keep up … to feel like he has to warm the bed of an
old woman, when …" she couldn't finish. She broke into tears. Richie moved to kneel beside
her, putting his hand on her shoulder and waiting until she could pull herself together.
"Beth … Adam may not age physically, but he'll be growing right along with you … Every day you
share, every joy, everything you go through … all of that becomes a part of both of you. And if he
really loves you … like I think we both know he does … the only time he'll be happy is when he's
with you, no matter what … You will be the woman he loves … the woman he wants to be with."
Richie said with conviction. "And if you want to really hurt him … pushing him away when you
both know it's not what you really want or because you are too insecure about things that really
don't matter, you'll tear out his heart."
Beth let out a little tear-filled laugh. "When did you get to be so wise?"
"You tend to grow up quick after the first few death experiences." He laughed. "And Mac has
taught me a lot … trying to help me be ready for life as it happens. He's helped me see things a
little more realistically … helped me learn how to make better choices. You know Adam and I
aren't close or anything … most of the time he just tolerates me. But I've learned a little about
him, and if he's asked you to spend the rest of your life with him … he meant all of it. There's no
halfway with him, and he doesn't start what he doesn't know he can finish. He knows what it will
be like for both of you … he's been there … "
"And what do we tell this little one?" she pressed her hand against the growing child.
"I don't know … but I'm sure Adam has an idea or he wouldn't have let himself get so close to
you." Richie knew that was a wrinkle that would be tough. "Beth … do you really love him?" he
had to ask.
"More than I thought I could." She answered honestly.
"Then why can't you try to make this work? There's a lot of time between now and when this
gorgeous hair of yours turns gray … " he tugged on a lock of it and grinned. "If I were you I'd ask
myself if you love him … and if you trust him … and then I'd trust my heart and follow it."
Beth shook her head. "You sound like Adam … like it's so simple."
"Isn't it? You love him … he loves you … the rest you'll figure out as you go."
"God I want it to be that simple." She replied, pushing her hair back from her face.
Richie felt a presence and turned to find Adam standing in the doorway.
"Am I interrupting something?" Adam asked, noticing Beth wiping at her eyes.
Richie looked at Beth and she nodded. "I've got to get out of here … I'm going to start my last
watch at Claudia's." He said, giving Beth a little hug. "Remember what I said." He whispered
before nodding to Adam and leaving.
Adam walked across the room and kissed Beth lightly, wiping the moisture from the corner of her
eye. "Can I ask what that was about?"
"He knew I needed to talk …" she began.
"And you couldn't talk to me?" Adam was a little hurt.
"I needed to talk about you … and me … and what I wanted. I needed to talk to someone on the
outside."
Adam didn't like the way this sounded. He knew Richie still carried a torch for her.
"Did it help?"
Beth nodded. "I didn't think it would … he practically had to drag it out of me, but yeah … it
helped."
"And?"
"And I think you need to know what has been the hardest thing for me to come to grips with …
and it's not what you probably think." She took his hand and led him to sit beside her on the sofa.
"Adam … I need you to be honest with me …" she placed the hand she hadn't let go of over her
belly. "I know you love me … but what about the baby? How does a child fit into our life when we
have to move on?"
Adam spread his hand wide to caress her fully. "I'm not going to lie to you … it's been awhile
since I had anything to do with children … but this baby is a part of you … and I'd protect it with
my life. I know Craig is the father, but if we are together … I'd want to be as much of a parent to
this child as you will let me. And I can't separate the love I have for you, from your baby."
Beth put her hand over his. "But what do we do? We won't be able to hide the truth from the
baby when it gets older … eventually there will be questions. And what if … what if another
immortal comes for you? What if they see?"
"We'll deal with that when the time comes. I don't know how … but we'll figure it out. Every child
is different. We won't completely know how to handle the situation until we know more about
them. But I can promise you … I will never ask you to choose. We will find a way to be together
… all three of us."
"And when I'm gone? You'll watch out for them?"
"Always …"
Beth's hand touched the necklace he'd given her as she thought a moment about the last
question she had to ask. "I know I love you, but can I trust you Adam?"
"Beth, I can't promise to share everything with you. The life of an immortal means a life with
secrets … there are things you don't need to know, things I don't want you to be a part of … times
when I will have to go away and I won't want to talk about it when I return … " he began. "But
when it's between us … or about our family … you can trust me to put you first. And I will never
lie to you … I may not be able to tell you everything, but I won't lie to you."
Beth thought long and hard about what he was telling her. She knew there was some kind of
competition between immortals … Joe told her that much. But she didn't know anymore than
when two of them met in battle, only one survived. She hadn't asked Adam about it. Seeing the
fight between he and Mitchell that night on the beach was more than she wanted to know … for
now.
"Would you tell me if you thought you wouldn't be coming back?" she asked quietly, not able to
meet his gaze when she did.
"I make it a point to always come back." He replied, lifting her chin with his hand so she had to
look at him. "I'm a survivor Beth … it's what I do best."
He looked so confident … so sure … and yet, Beth couldn't help but think that he had survived
because he'd only had himself to watch out for. But she couldn't bring herself to say it.
"I won't like it when you say you won't tell me something I want to know. I trust you Adam … but
it doesn't mean I won't challenge you?"
"I wouldn't have it any other way." he said, cuffing her nose lightly.
"Does this mean we're going to make a go of it?" he asked hopefully.
Beth nodded. "But I have a condition … Will you come with me to the hospital tomorrow? I want
to find out what color we're going to paint the nursery … and I want you to be there when we find
out for sure if I'm right."
"If you're right?" Adam asked.
"I have a suspicion about this little one … but I'll wait and let the doctor tell us for sure."
"It's a date." He replied, bringing the back of her hand to his lips to kiss her knuckles.