Disclaimer: I own not Fushigi Yuugi, nor do I own "Kuchibue ga Kikoeru" ("I Hear A Whistle") from the Yu Yu Hakusho/Poltregeist Report soundtrack.
A/N: Well, well, what DO you know? I'm torturing Ryuu-chan again. Wow, *that's* new. ^__^ Anyway, this has a plot and this is happening for a reason. This is leading up to something. Don't worry, the plot shall be revealed soon.. probably in this chapter! Or I should say it will *begin* to be revealed in this chapter.
NOTE: I apologize for the sap and drama in this chapter, but hey, the guy got hit by a freaking CAR! You can't exactly blame me!
And cookies to anyone who can guess who everyone is so far! Whoo! Koro has entered the building!
THE LIGHT IN THE DARKNESS III
I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS IS HAPPENING!
[I can hear a whistling farther than yesterday
I collect the scattered pieces
I hold them tightly in my right hand, and softly close my eyes]
I think the strangest thing about being hit by a car was how little I was hurt. I wasn't dying. I had come close, though. Not because of the car, though (which is weird) since it only caught me on one side, and the only thing I broke was a rib (which is bad enough, but hey, it could be worse), but because I hit my head really hard on the pavement afterwards, and it nearly broke my skull (nearly, thank the gods). As it is I have a bandage around my head, bandages over my ribs, and about twenty different bandages over the cuts I had also collected from it. The others were standing around me. Miaka was crying. I noticed that Taka and some of the others had been crying. Saihitei was there, too, and his look was one of relief when I finally woke up.
Junto sat near me, her hand on mine, her black eyes regarding me steadily like they always did.
"You're awake." She stated. I nodded a little, even though it sent a shockwave of pain into my already-aching head.
"Yeah.. I'm sorry I worried everybody.." I muttered, forcing the words out from the pain. "I'll be okay."
I can't believe this is happening! I shouted in my mind. Since when did I *ever* have to go to the hospital?! This is nothing, nothing to then.. and.. oh.. my.. gods.. he's here..
"Ryuuen," Genrou began, "why did you run away from me?"
"Shouldn't it be obvious?" Taka asked, coming to my rescue instantly, his eyes narrowed. Those who didn't know what was going on (read: Junto, Kaen, Doukun, Koro, and Kotoku) just stared. "The way you used to treat him makes this look like nothing!"
Now they were getting the picture. Kaen's hand went to her mouth in surprise. Doukun looked from me to Genrou in shock. Junto shot me a worried glance, her normally unemotional dark eyes betraying concern. Kotoku took a step so that he was halfway between me and Genrou, his usually calm blue eyes stormy. Koro put a hand on my shoulder. I didn't have the heart to tell him that he had put his hand over a bruise and that it kind of hurt. He was protecting me. I knew that Genrou wouldn't be able to hurt me here, my friends would protect me.
"Taka.." Genrou whispered hoarsely. He sounded like he had been crying. "Taka, you don't understand.. please.. I need to explain.. not here. Alone."
I almost protested until I realized how close his tone came to anguish, how heartfelt was his plea that I couldn't find the strength to say a word.
So Taka and Genrou left, and the ones who had been ready to fight for me relaxed. I felt Koro's hand on my shoulder retract as he went back to his seat. Koro is a good friend. I know he would've done a lot of very painful things to Genrou if he had tried to hurt me.
So we waited. We waited for almost a half an hour and talked quietly amongst ourselves (and I was asked about fourteen times if I was "okay") until they came back. Genrou was pale, and there were tearstains on his face. Taka looked like he had just heard that Elvis *really* wasn't dead.
Finally Taka approached me.
"Ryuuen, I need to talk to you alone." He said. The others filed out silently until it was just the two of us.
"What is it, Taka?" I asked after a moment, the pounding in my head set aside for the moment.
"Ryuuen... it wasn't Genrou's fault." He said. "It was never Genrou's fault."
[Knife-like moonlight rains down
On a night that freezes even the horizon
Alone in that wilderness, hugging my knee
I strain to hear the song of the wind]
"Wh.. What do you mean??" I asked, my heart pounding in my ears like a drum, confusion enveloping me in it's crimson haze.
"It's a long story, Ryuuen-chan." He said, sitting down in the chair next to my bed where Junto had been sitting before. "But to make it shorter, I'll just say it. I know this seems insane, but.. Ryuuen, Genrou was possessed by a dark spirit that comes from a long, long time ago. From another life, really."
I gasped. "A.. A dark spirit? He told you that.. and you believed him?" I asked, incredulous, my pain forgotten for a time.
"I know that it's true, Ryuuen. I know because I remember this spirit, from my last life. I know that he would never intentionally hurt you, Ryuuen, not Genrou. He cares too much about you for that. That's why I was so shocked when you told me he had hurt you. Now I know why." He explained, and I believed him because.. because he's Taka. And I had to. I needed some rationalization for the way Genrou had changed after we started dating.. how he had hurt me. I needed something to hold on to, and Taka had given me a truth that I could deal with.
"But.. why? Why me? Why Genrou? Taka.. does this mean he's himself now?" I asked, questions filling my mind as suddenly as the confusion had.
"It has to do with a past that I don't think you're ready to know, Ryuuen." He said, his voice lower and more serious than I had ever heard it. "But yes, he's himself now."
"What past? Why can't I know?" I asked, knowing that I sounded like an over-eager child and not really caring. I wanted to KNOW, dammit.
"A past from a very long time ago, Ryuuen. Which you aren't ready to know yet." He said. "But I'll tell you when I can, I promise. Because as much as I know you aren't ready to hear it, Ryuuen.. I'm not ready to tell it."
And I saw genuine anguish in his eyes, heard it in his voice. This story that he wouldn't tell me was sad for him, I knew. He was afraid that it would be sad for me as well. So I let it drop.
Then the door opened, and Koro poked his head in the door.
"Can we come back in now? Before Kaen and Chuin scare off the nurses with their rendition of Romeo and Juliet?" He asked. I smiled a little. Taka grinned.
"Sure," He said. "We were just finished talking."
[Those who do not know a sleepless night
Cannot become strong; that is the rule]
By the time I got back to my apartment, I was suitably confused and completely drugged out on doctor-prescribed pain killers. I felt really light-headed and kind of drunk (well I guess that's what being drunk is like.. I wouldn't know.) as well. Yui guided me to my bed and let me lay down to sleep it off, but I couldn't sleep. My thoughts kept me up.
A past he can't tell me... I thought. I wonder why? What could be so bad about it that he would think me not ready to handle it? And why oh WHY do I keep having these inner conversations??
I stayed awake all night with only my thoughts for company, and the morning came far too slowly.
[I can hear whistling farther than the stars and the skies
It's the words of someone's prayer
I hold them tightly in my right hand, and softly close my eyes]
The next day, I was back at class at ten o' clock (today it was Video Production, the only class I have with Koro). I couldn't afford to miss a day, even if Kuchima-sensei said that I should have stayed home and rested after what I went through last night. But my grades.. if I sent home word that I got so much as an A MINUS my parents went nutty. I have been tied to the post labeled "straight A's". I can't afford to miss a class unless it's a real emergency. And this, while an emergency, certainly, was not enough. I could make it.
"Man, what the hell are you doing here?" Koro asked when I walked in, his wide brown eyes displaying shock. "You should be in BED, I mean you almost died!"
"Koro, I'm fine." I said hastily, not wanting to draw undue attention to myself. "I feel much better than I did. But thanks for caring."
"What are friends for?" He asked, putting his arm around my shoulders. Once again, I didn't have the heart to tell him that it hurt a little bit. Oh well.
"Reminding one not to accidentaly skip study hall in the twelth grade, KORO." I replied, grinning. He drew away and stared at me, mock-angry.
"Are you STILL going on about that? It's been two years, get OVER it."
"Well REALLY..."
We walked to class together, Taka's "past" completely forgotten in favor of this happiness.
[A thing that's even sadder than loneliness
Is not realizing that loneliness
No matter how freezing the night, under the earth
Warmth is hidden]
I was walking home from Video Production class, in a good mood, when suddenly it all came crashing down. He was there.. in front of the building.
Stop it, Ryuuen, I told myself. It's not his fault, he didn't do it on purpose.. so you don't have any reason to be afraid of him, right? *Right*?
I approached him slowly, trying to act casual but knowing that I was as white as a ghost.
"Hi, Genrou," I said, giving him a little wave before continuing to the stairs. Or I would have continued, if he hadn't grabbed my arm, forcing me to stay where I was. There was a look in his eyes that I hadn't seen before, a kind of regret, an anguish that was so deep, so painful that for a moment it took my breath away. "G-Genrou, what??"
"Ryuuen.." He said, "I'm sorry about what happened then.. I didn't want to hurt you, and I never have. Never of my own free will would I *ever* hurt you. I just thought.. thought you should know that. It hurts to see you freeze up whenever you see me. I know it's because of what I did. And I don't deserve any kind of forgiveness for doing that to you. But I just wanted you to know that."
I could tell he'd been rehearsing this in his head for quite some time. He'd probably been standing there for a whole hour, waiting for me to get out of class.
"Genrou, it's all right." I replied with a weak smile. "Would you like to come in?"
[Rather than being a bird that is trapped in a cage
I would become a nameless stone]
He did. Come in, I mean. I led him to the apartment and unlocked the door (Yui locked it since she went to an eleven o' clock class, which is twenty minutes before I get back from my ten o' clock). We walked inside, and I motioned him to take a seat at the table in the kitchen (we don't have a dining room, we have an eat-in kitchen), then walked around the table to start digging in the refridgerator for my Pepsi.
"We have Pepsi, lemonade, fruit punch, and Coca-Cola." I read off the names on the bottles in the fridge. The Coca-Cola was Yui's. I don't drink the stuff. Can't stand it. Yui, however, drinks it like it's water. She is SO weird.
"Pepsi's fine, thanks." He says politely, and I smile as I pour two cups of Pepsi. This isn't so bad. I can almost forget about the pain from before. Almost.
I brought the cups over and he smiled at me. Shyly. Like he was afraid I'd reach out and slap him so hard he wouldn't have teeth anymore. Like I *could*.
"Hey, I'm not going to hold anything against you, okay?" I told him with a bright (and fake) smile. "So you don't have to act like I'm going to pound you into the ground, okay?"
"Yeah. Sorry." He said.
"No, there you go again. Cut it out. You're my friend." Kinda. "You don't have to apologize when you haven't done anything wrong."
"Haven't done anything wrong??" He asked, incredulous. I don't blame him, my words surprised *me* as much as they probably surprised *him*. "Ryuuen.."
"Stop it." I said firmly, my voice settling into a lower-than-normal tone, putting my hands on my hips, and feeling utterly like someone else. I never do this stuff, so what was going on now? That's what I wanted to know. "It wasn't your fault, so stop kicking yourself and apologizing. You know it's not your fault, and so do I. It won't kill you to act natural around me. I won't break if you say the wrong thing. And be careful; your Pepsi is about to spill over."
He had been playing with the paper cup in his hand unconsciously. Now he put it down on the table and left it there. He said nothing, and neither did I.
Was I just possessed??
[I can hear a whistling farther than yesterday
I collect the scattered pieces
And holding them tight in my right hand, I softly close my eyes]
I smiled kindly at Genrou as he left a half an hour later. We had talked for a while, after the silence, about things that meant nothing to us, and yet it felt comfortable to talk about them. Nothing too personal, nothing too touchy. Just the impersonal nicities exchanged by two people who haven't quite been forgiven, or who haven't quite forgiven.
After he left, I picked up the phone and dialed Taka's number.
"Hello, Taka speaking." He said as he picked up. I grinned like a maniac.
"Hey Taka, it's Ryuuen. You will never guess who I just had over for a half an hour." I said.
"Who?"
"Genrou." I said, then explained, "He apologized. And.. I accepted it."
"Ryuuen.. that's good." He said, "but right now.."
"You have to go," I finished for him. "I know. I just wanted to tell you. Thanks. See yah."
"Bye." He said, and I could practically see his smile from the other end of the line. He hung up, and so did I.
Today was... okay. It was really, honestly, for the first time in what feels like forever, okay.
[I can hear whistling from a distant yesterday
It's the words of someone's prayer
And holding them tight in my right hand, I softly close my eyes]
When Yui got back from her class, I told her about it. She was happy for me, but worried. She warned me against going out with him again. I reassured her that under no circumstances would I even *consider* it.
This time, when the night came, I slept peacefully and had good dreams, and the morning came far too soon.
[Holding them tight in my right hand, I softly close my eyes]
A/N: Well, well, what DO you know? I'm torturing Ryuu-chan again. Wow, *that's* new. ^__^ Anyway, this has a plot and this is happening for a reason. This is leading up to something. Don't worry, the plot shall be revealed soon.. probably in this chapter! Or I should say it will *begin* to be revealed in this chapter.
NOTE: I apologize for the sap and drama in this chapter, but hey, the guy got hit by a freaking CAR! You can't exactly blame me!
And cookies to anyone who can guess who everyone is so far! Whoo! Koro has entered the building!
THE LIGHT IN THE DARKNESS III
I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS IS HAPPENING!
[I can hear a whistling farther than yesterday
I collect the scattered pieces
I hold them tightly in my right hand, and softly close my eyes]
I think the strangest thing about being hit by a car was how little I was hurt. I wasn't dying. I had come close, though. Not because of the car, though (which is weird) since it only caught me on one side, and the only thing I broke was a rib (which is bad enough, but hey, it could be worse), but because I hit my head really hard on the pavement afterwards, and it nearly broke my skull (nearly, thank the gods). As it is I have a bandage around my head, bandages over my ribs, and about twenty different bandages over the cuts I had also collected from it. The others were standing around me. Miaka was crying. I noticed that Taka and some of the others had been crying. Saihitei was there, too, and his look was one of relief when I finally woke up.
Junto sat near me, her hand on mine, her black eyes regarding me steadily like they always did.
"You're awake." She stated. I nodded a little, even though it sent a shockwave of pain into my already-aching head.
"Yeah.. I'm sorry I worried everybody.." I muttered, forcing the words out from the pain. "I'll be okay."
I can't believe this is happening! I shouted in my mind. Since when did I *ever* have to go to the hospital?! This is nothing, nothing to then.. and.. oh.. my.. gods.. he's here..
"Ryuuen," Genrou began, "why did you run away from me?"
"Shouldn't it be obvious?" Taka asked, coming to my rescue instantly, his eyes narrowed. Those who didn't know what was going on (read: Junto, Kaen, Doukun, Koro, and Kotoku) just stared. "The way you used to treat him makes this look like nothing!"
Now they were getting the picture. Kaen's hand went to her mouth in surprise. Doukun looked from me to Genrou in shock. Junto shot me a worried glance, her normally unemotional dark eyes betraying concern. Kotoku took a step so that he was halfway between me and Genrou, his usually calm blue eyes stormy. Koro put a hand on my shoulder. I didn't have the heart to tell him that he had put his hand over a bruise and that it kind of hurt. He was protecting me. I knew that Genrou wouldn't be able to hurt me here, my friends would protect me.
"Taka.." Genrou whispered hoarsely. He sounded like he had been crying. "Taka, you don't understand.. please.. I need to explain.. not here. Alone."
I almost protested until I realized how close his tone came to anguish, how heartfelt was his plea that I couldn't find the strength to say a word.
So Taka and Genrou left, and the ones who had been ready to fight for me relaxed. I felt Koro's hand on my shoulder retract as he went back to his seat. Koro is a good friend. I know he would've done a lot of very painful things to Genrou if he had tried to hurt me.
So we waited. We waited for almost a half an hour and talked quietly amongst ourselves (and I was asked about fourteen times if I was "okay") until they came back. Genrou was pale, and there were tearstains on his face. Taka looked like he had just heard that Elvis *really* wasn't dead.
Finally Taka approached me.
"Ryuuen, I need to talk to you alone." He said. The others filed out silently until it was just the two of us.
"What is it, Taka?" I asked after a moment, the pounding in my head set aside for the moment.
"Ryuuen... it wasn't Genrou's fault." He said. "It was never Genrou's fault."
[Knife-like moonlight rains down
On a night that freezes even the horizon
Alone in that wilderness, hugging my knee
I strain to hear the song of the wind]
"Wh.. What do you mean??" I asked, my heart pounding in my ears like a drum, confusion enveloping me in it's crimson haze.
"It's a long story, Ryuuen-chan." He said, sitting down in the chair next to my bed where Junto had been sitting before. "But to make it shorter, I'll just say it. I know this seems insane, but.. Ryuuen, Genrou was possessed by a dark spirit that comes from a long, long time ago. From another life, really."
I gasped. "A.. A dark spirit? He told you that.. and you believed him?" I asked, incredulous, my pain forgotten for a time.
"I know that it's true, Ryuuen. I know because I remember this spirit, from my last life. I know that he would never intentionally hurt you, Ryuuen, not Genrou. He cares too much about you for that. That's why I was so shocked when you told me he had hurt you. Now I know why." He explained, and I believed him because.. because he's Taka. And I had to. I needed some rationalization for the way Genrou had changed after we started dating.. how he had hurt me. I needed something to hold on to, and Taka had given me a truth that I could deal with.
"But.. why? Why me? Why Genrou? Taka.. does this mean he's himself now?" I asked, questions filling my mind as suddenly as the confusion had.
"It has to do with a past that I don't think you're ready to know, Ryuuen." He said, his voice lower and more serious than I had ever heard it. "But yes, he's himself now."
"What past? Why can't I know?" I asked, knowing that I sounded like an over-eager child and not really caring. I wanted to KNOW, dammit.
"A past from a very long time ago, Ryuuen. Which you aren't ready to know yet." He said. "But I'll tell you when I can, I promise. Because as much as I know you aren't ready to hear it, Ryuuen.. I'm not ready to tell it."
And I saw genuine anguish in his eyes, heard it in his voice. This story that he wouldn't tell me was sad for him, I knew. He was afraid that it would be sad for me as well. So I let it drop.
Then the door opened, and Koro poked his head in the door.
"Can we come back in now? Before Kaen and Chuin scare off the nurses with their rendition of Romeo and Juliet?" He asked. I smiled a little. Taka grinned.
"Sure," He said. "We were just finished talking."
[Those who do not know a sleepless night
Cannot become strong; that is the rule]
By the time I got back to my apartment, I was suitably confused and completely drugged out on doctor-prescribed pain killers. I felt really light-headed and kind of drunk (well I guess that's what being drunk is like.. I wouldn't know.) as well. Yui guided me to my bed and let me lay down to sleep it off, but I couldn't sleep. My thoughts kept me up.
A past he can't tell me... I thought. I wonder why? What could be so bad about it that he would think me not ready to handle it? And why oh WHY do I keep having these inner conversations??
I stayed awake all night with only my thoughts for company, and the morning came far too slowly.
[I can hear whistling farther than the stars and the skies
It's the words of someone's prayer
I hold them tightly in my right hand, and softly close my eyes]
The next day, I was back at class at ten o' clock (today it was Video Production, the only class I have with Koro). I couldn't afford to miss a day, even if Kuchima-sensei said that I should have stayed home and rested after what I went through last night. But my grades.. if I sent home word that I got so much as an A MINUS my parents went nutty. I have been tied to the post labeled "straight A's". I can't afford to miss a class unless it's a real emergency. And this, while an emergency, certainly, was not enough. I could make it.
"Man, what the hell are you doing here?" Koro asked when I walked in, his wide brown eyes displaying shock. "You should be in BED, I mean you almost died!"
"Koro, I'm fine." I said hastily, not wanting to draw undue attention to myself. "I feel much better than I did. But thanks for caring."
"What are friends for?" He asked, putting his arm around my shoulders. Once again, I didn't have the heart to tell him that it hurt a little bit. Oh well.
"Reminding one not to accidentaly skip study hall in the twelth grade, KORO." I replied, grinning. He drew away and stared at me, mock-angry.
"Are you STILL going on about that? It's been two years, get OVER it."
"Well REALLY..."
We walked to class together, Taka's "past" completely forgotten in favor of this happiness.
[A thing that's even sadder than loneliness
Is not realizing that loneliness
No matter how freezing the night, under the earth
Warmth is hidden]
I was walking home from Video Production class, in a good mood, when suddenly it all came crashing down. He was there.. in front of the building.
Stop it, Ryuuen, I told myself. It's not his fault, he didn't do it on purpose.. so you don't have any reason to be afraid of him, right? *Right*?
I approached him slowly, trying to act casual but knowing that I was as white as a ghost.
"Hi, Genrou," I said, giving him a little wave before continuing to the stairs. Or I would have continued, if he hadn't grabbed my arm, forcing me to stay where I was. There was a look in his eyes that I hadn't seen before, a kind of regret, an anguish that was so deep, so painful that for a moment it took my breath away. "G-Genrou, what??"
"Ryuuen.." He said, "I'm sorry about what happened then.. I didn't want to hurt you, and I never have. Never of my own free will would I *ever* hurt you. I just thought.. thought you should know that. It hurts to see you freeze up whenever you see me. I know it's because of what I did. And I don't deserve any kind of forgiveness for doing that to you. But I just wanted you to know that."
I could tell he'd been rehearsing this in his head for quite some time. He'd probably been standing there for a whole hour, waiting for me to get out of class.
"Genrou, it's all right." I replied with a weak smile. "Would you like to come in?"
[Rather than being a bird that is trapped in a cage
I would become a nameless stone]
He did. Come in, I mean. I led him to the apartment and unlocked the door (Yui locked it since she went to an eleven o' clock class, which is twenty minutes before I get back from my ten o' clock). We walked inside, and I motioned him to take a seat at the table in the kitchen (we don't have a dining room, we have an eat-in kitchen), then walked around the table to start digging in the refridgerator for my Pepsi.
"We have Pepsi, lemonade, fruit punch, and Coca-Cola." I read off the names on the bottles in the fridge. The Coca-Cola was Yui's. I don't drink the stuff. Can't stand it. Yui, however, drinks it like it's water. She is SO weird.
"Pepsi's fine, thanks." He says politely, and I smile as I pour two cups of Pepsi. This isn't so bad. I can almost forget about the pain from before. Almost.
I brought the cups over and he smiled at me. Shyly. Like he was afraid I'd reach out and slap him so hard he wouldn't have teeth anymore. Like I *could*.
"Hey, I'm not going to hold anything against you, okay?" I told him with a bright (and fake) smile. "So you don't have to act like I'm going to pound you into the ground, okay?"
"Yeah. Sorry." He said.
"No, there you go again. Cut it out. You're my friend." Kinda. "You don't have to apologize when you haven't done anything wrong."
"Haven't done anything wrong??" He asked, incredulous. I don't blame him, my words surprised *me* as much as they probably surprised *him*. "Ryuuen.."
"Stop it." I said firmly, my voice settling into a lower-than-normal tone, putting my hands on my hips, and feeling utterly like someone else. I never do this stuff, so what was going on now? That's what I wanted to know. "It wasn't your fault, so stop kicking yourself and apologizing. You know it's not your fault, and so do I. It won't kill you to act natural around me. I won't break if you say the wrong thing. And be careful; your Pepsi is about to spill over."
He had been playing with the paper cup in his hand unconsciously. Now he put it down on the table and left it there. He said nothing, and neither did I.
Was I just possessed??
[I can hear a whistling farther than yesterday
I collect the scattered pieces
And holding them tight in my right hand, I softly close my eyes]
I smiled kindly at Genrou as he left a half an hour later. We had talked for a while, after the silence, about things that meant nothing to us, and yet it felt comfortable to talk about them. Nothing too personal, nothing too touchy. Just the impersonal nicities exchanged by two people who haven't quite been forgiven, or who haven't quite forgiven.
After he left, I picked up the phone and dialed Taka's number.
"Hello, Taka speaking." He said as he picked up. I grinned like a maniac.
"Hey Taka, it's Ryuuen. You will never guess who I just had over for a half an hour." I said.
"Who?"
"Genrou." I said, then explained, "He apologized. And.. I accepted it."
"Ryuuen.. that's good." He said, "but right now.."
"You have to go," I finished for him. "I know. I just wanted to tell you. Thanks. See yah."
"Bye." He said, and I could practically see his smile from the other end of the line. He hung up, and so did I.
Today was... okay. It was really, honestly, for the first time in what feels like forever, okay.
[I can hear whistling from a distant yesterday
It's the words of someone's prayer
And holding them tight in my right hand, I softly close my eyes]
When Yui got back from her class, I told her about it. She was happy for me, but worried. She warned me against going out with him again. I reassured her that under no circumstances would I even *consider* it.
This time, when the night came, I slept peacefully and had good dreams, and the morning came far too soon.
[Holding them tight in my right hand, I softly close my eyes]