Disclaimer: i don't any of the HP characters or sets or anything HP
related, or Smurf related or Care Bear related, so leave me alone!!!
anything u don't recognize is mine (prolly), and this goes for all previous
and future chaps
A/N: no, i'm not insane (at least not legally insane). this is just what happens to a person who has parents who give them nicknames like "The Evil Queen", "Evil One", "Devil's Child", and so on, and use them repeatedly in public and in private. that's my excuse, what's yours? byt the way, this story is completely random (just in case u couldn't tell), and was inspired by a story by The Golden Goose.
Care Bear Wars!!!
"Care Bears?" Harry said, confused. "I thought you were just made up from a children's show."
"Well, we're the things that played the characters," said one of them.
"They're evil, Harry, don't trust them." yelled several Smurfs.
"Just because we always beat you in the ratings..." began the Care Bears.
"You? Beat us in ratings?" the Smurfs retorted, laughing.
"This means war! No one insults the cult of Care Bears (A/N: yes, they're a cult)!!!"
"Charge!"
"I wonder what they'll do with the carnage?"
"Hermione!"
"Ron, what?"
"It's bad enough that you're a cannibal!"
"What, you'd prefer me to eat live humans?"
"Well, no..." Harry and Ron began to say together.
"Then shut up, Ron! Or do you want me to tell Harry what you and your twin brothers do in your spare time?"
"HOW DO YOU KNOW ABOUT THAT?" Ron yelled, as lots of Smurfs and Care Bears proceeded to keep killing each other.
"I have my sources..." Mione said mischievously.
"Tell me!" Ron roared, as Harry just stood there, watching. Ron pulled out his wand.
"Ask Draco," Mione said, walking away.
"Malfoy?" Harry and Ro said this together.
"Why not?" Mione called over her shoulder.
Harry and Ron looked at each other. Then they stared at Hermione as she walked away. "We should investigate this," Harry said seriously. "But I want pizza!" Ron complained. "Oh fine, we'll hire Muggles. Come on, let's go find a phone book." "A foney book? Why do we want that instead of pizza?" "Ron, we need the yellow pages." "I prefer crust" Ron muttered as Harry glided away. (A/N; yes, Harry glides. Glides!!! you hear me!!! mwahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!)
Meanwhile, the battle between the Smurfs and the Care Bears was still raging. Bodies were strewn everywhere, and the amount of carnage was very high. The Smurfs brought out the heavy artillery: pink fluffy bunnies!!! The Care Bears instantly dropped their hand grenades and machine guns to run and play with the fluffy pink bunnies. Once a good number of them had clustered around the bunnies, they blew up!!! No, really, the bunnies blew up and killed the Care Bears. "Is that it, then? NO MERCY!!!" yelled the remaining Care Bears as they began a final charge at the remaining Smurfs.
"Stop!" someone yelled, and right in the middle of the battle field/classroom were the Teletubbies (A/N: DIE!!!!!!!!). "What kind of role models are you to young children, fighting like this? We never fight."
Papa Smurf looked at the Care Bears. "Shall we?"
"Why not?" they answered. With a loud roar, they set upon the Teletubbies. Shouts such as "Kill Tinky Winky!" and "LaLa's mine!" soon filled the air. Within a matter of minutes, the Teletubbies were torn to shreds. "What shall we do with the carnage?" asked Papa Smurf.
"Give it to Hermione?" someone suggested, but that was no good. Hermione only ate humans, being a cannibal.
"How about we throw them down the hole!" someone yelled. "What hole?" asked Papa Smurf.
"That one!" was the reply, and everyone turned to see the hole that goes to the middle of the universe where the cheeses are having a war with the rats and the cheeses will eat you and Snape was thrown down there after trying to kill the Smurfs.
"I thought that blew up", muttered Papa Smurf. "Oh well, in they go!" The cheese ate remarkably well that day.
*************************************************
Harry and Ron finally made it to a town with phones. Therefore, the town had to have phone books. This obvious realization escaped Ron, and so he was forced to ask Harry, who patiently explained his reasoning to Ron, who said that he didn't get it and that Harry could be wrong, who said he couldn't possibly be wrong he grew up with muggles, etc. The conversation continued on this line for exactly 16 minutes and 16 seconds and 16 milliseconds and 16 nanoseconds and 16 quadriseconds and 16 quintiseconds and 16 septiseconds and 16 google seconds and 16 othernumbersthaticantmakeupatthemomentseconds. Then, Harry walked into a phone booth, and looked for a detective agency in the Yellow Pages. Ron stood outside the booth, muttering about pizza crust and why it was better than yellow paper, when Harry said, "How does this look?" He showed Ron an add that said: Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency We solve the whole crime! *Missing cats and unexplainable phenomenon a specialty
"Looks good", Ron muttered, unimpressed. Then Harry picked up the phone and dialed the number. He talked on the phone for several minutes, while Ron stood outside, staring at him. Harry hung up the phone and turned to Ron, saying, "He'll take the job and spy on Hermione. And we're lucky, because he's a Squid. He knows what magic is."
Ron looked at Harry for a second (actually 3, but who cares?), and then asked, "Why were you talking to a piece of metal? It's not alive, you know."
Harry was about to explain that it was a phone, and Ron had used it before, and it connected you to other people. Ron, however, chose that moment to start hallucinating (he wanted pizza, remember?). He saw a flying papaya calling to him, beckoning him to follow. He yelled aloud; "A papaya! Come back!!!" Harry stared as Ron ran down the street. Then he became worried and followed, yelling, "Ron! Stop! There's nothing there! RON!" Ron was oblivious, however, and kept running. He rounded a corner, with Harry at his heels, and they found themselves staring at Rite-Aid drug store...
A/N: woooooooooohooooooooooooo!!!! sugar!!! sugar!!! sugar!!! wow, that's kinda long. anyhoo, r&r please. if not, my purple flying monkeys will come after you. not green, purple!!! and not some girly gay purple color, a cool purple hue! brewhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha ha!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
A/N: no, i'm not insane (at least not legally insane). this is just what happens to a person who has parents who give them nicknames like "The Evil Queen", "Evil One", "Devil's Child", and so on, and use them repeatedly in public and in private. that's my excuse, what's yours? byt the way, this story is completely random (just in case u couldn't tell), and was inspired by a story by The Golden Goose.
Care Bear Wars!!!
"Care Bears?" Harry said, confused. "I thought you were just made up from a children's show."
"Well, we're the things that played the characters," said one of them.
"They're evil, Harry, don't trust them." yelled several Smurfs.
"Just because we always beat you in the ratings..." began the Care Bears.
"You? Beat us in ratings?" the Smurfs retorted, laughing.
"This means war! No one insults the cult of Care Bears (A/N: yes, they're a cult)!!!"
"Charge!"
"I wonder what they'll do with the carnage?"
"Hermione!"
"Ron, what?"
"It's bad enough that you're a cannibal!"
"What, you'd prefer me to eat live humans?"
"Well, no..." Harry and Ron began to say together.
"Then shut up, Ron! Or do you want me to tell Harry what you and your twin brothers do in your spare time?"
"HOW DO YOU KNOW ABOUT THAT?" Ron yelled, as lots of Smurfs and Care Bears proceeded to keep killing each other.
"I have my sources..." Mione said mischievously.
"Tell me!" Ron roared, as Harry just stood there, watching. Ron pulled out his wand.
"Ask Draco," Mione said, walking away.
"Malfoy?" Harry and Ro said this together.
"Why not?" Mione called over her shoulder.
Harry and Ron looked at each other. Then they stared at Hermione as she walked away. "We should investigate this," Harry said seriously. "But I want pizza!" Ron complained. "Oh fine, we'll hire Muggles. Come on, let's go find a phone book." "A foney book? Why do we want that instead of pizza?" "Ron, we need the yellow pages." "I prefer crust" Ron muttered as Harry glided away. (A/N; yes, Harry glides. Glides!!! you hear me!!! mwahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!)
Meanwhile, the battle between the Smurfs and the Care Bears was still raging. Bodies were strewn everywhere, and the amount of carnage was very high. The Smurfs brought out the heavy artillery: pink fluffy bunnies!!! The Care Bears instantly dropped their hand grenades and machine guns to run and play with the fluffy pink bunnies. Once a good number of them had clustered around the bunnies, they blew up!!! No, really, the bunnies blew up and killed the Care Bears. "Is that it, then? NO MERCY!!!" yelled the remaining Care Bears as they began a final charge at the remaining Smurfs.
"Stop!" someone yelled, and right in the middle of the battle field/classroom were the Teletubbies (A/N: DIE!!!!!!!!). "What kind of role models are you to young children, fighting like this? We never fight."
Papa Smurf looked at the Care Bears. "Shall we?"
"Why not?" they answered. With a loud roar, they set upon the Teletubbies. Shouts such as "Kill Tinky Winky!" and "LaLa's mine!" soon filled the air. Within a matter of minutes, the Teletubbies were torn to shreds. "What shall we do with the carnage?" asked Papa Smurf.
"Give it to Hermione?" someone suggested, but that was no good. Hermione only ate humans, being a cannibal.
"How about we throw them down the hole!" someone yelled. "What hole?" asked Papa Smurf.
"That one!" was the reply, and everyone turned to see the hole that goes to the middle of the universe where the cheeses are having a war with the rats and the cheeses will eat you and Snape was thrown down there after trying to kill the Smurfs.
"I thought that blew up", muttered Papa Smurf. "Oh well, in they go!" The cheese ate remarkably well that day.
*************************************************
Harry and Ron finally made it to a town with phones. Therefore, the town had to have phone books. This obvious realization escaped Ron, and so he was forced to ask Harry, who patiently explained his reasoning to Ron, who said that he didn't get it and that Harry could be wrong, who said he couldn't possibly be wrong he grew up with muggles, etc. The conversation continued on this line for exactly 16 minutes and 16 seconds and 16 milliseconds and 16 nanoseconds and 16 quadriseconds and 16 quintiseconds and 16 septiseconds and 16 google seconds and 16 othernumbersthaticantmakeupatthemomentseconds. Then, Harry walked into a phone booth, and looked for a detective agency in the Yellow Pages. Ron stood outside the booth, muttering about pizza crust and why it was better than yellow paper, when Harry said, "How does this look?" He showed Ron an add that said: Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency We solve the whole crime! *Missing cats and unexplainable phenomenon a specialty
"Looks good", Ron muttered, unimpressed. Then Harry picked up the phone and dialed the number. He talked on the phone for several minutes, while Ron stood outside, staring at him. Harry hung up the phone and turned to Ron, saying, "He'll take the job and spy on Hermione. And we're lucky, because he's a Squid. He knows what magic is."
Ron looked at Harry for a second (actually 3, but who cares?), and then asked, "Why were you talking to a piece of metal? It's not alive, you know."
Harry was about to explain that it was a phone, and Ron had used it before, and it connected you to other people. Ron, however, chose that moment to start hallucinating (he wanted pizza, remember?). He saw a flying papaya calling to him, beckoning him to follow. He yelled aloud; "A papaya! Come back!!!" Harry stared as Ron ran down the street. Then he became worried and followed, yelling, "Ron! Stop! There's nothing there! RON!" Ron was oblivious, however, and kept running. He rounded a corner, with Harry at his heels, and they found themselves staring at Rite-Aid drug store...
A/N: woooooooooohooooooooooooo!!!! sugar!!! sugar!!! sugar!!! wow, that's kinda long. anyhoo, r&r please. if not, my purple flying monkeys will come after you. not green, purple!!! and not some girly gay purple color, a cool purple hue! brewhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha ha!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!