Disclaimer: I am delusional, but not enough to believe I own any of the
LOTR characters..
Surprised and slightly disappointed that I only have 8 reviews for Chapter 3. Maybe I am posting too fast..
Please, please review. As said before, the more reviews, the faster I post since this is all sort of pre-written now =) Plus, reviews do give me fuels my evil thoughts and give me incentive to expand.
Thinking of writing a not very original funny A/L . I'll probably do it after this one. if I get enough people interested in my writing.
***********************************************************************
Chapter 4: Friends but not love
Estel had been staying with Shadow for five days now. His mentor insisted on carrying him around because of his feet. As much as Estel dislike being unable to support his own weight, he loved the warmth and gentleness of Shadow's embrace. He knew he would miss the intimacy when his mentor decides he could walk again.
His condition had not stopped Shadow from teaching him something new every day. The elf had taken him to explore the woods surrounding their cave, showing him different paths, a lake where they can bath, a small clear stream for drinking water and locations of various medicinal and culinary herbs. His mentor had even started giving him lessons in tracking, pointing out to him what to look for in different situations and where clues would most likely be found. He would never forget his first lesson in tracking.
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FLASHBACK :
His mentor told him there was a deer hidden in the foliage nearby and asked him to find it for him. Unable to spot the deer from his perch on the elf's back, Estel hung his head in shame. His mentor then asked him to look carefully on the ground. No tracks were left on the hard forest floor; but as Estel studied the vegetation on the ground closely, he noticed some patches had been grazed. Looking at the patches, he could see that they form a small winding trial, which disappeared into the forest to their left. As he directed his gaze in that direction, he saw the deer almost entirely concealed among the shrubbery. Unable to contain his excitement, Estel cried, "It's there. I found it."
His mentor smiled and said, "So it is, my dear Estel. Well done!! You could not see it before because you were trying to track like an elf. Elves had the advantage of having trees and animals tell them where to look. They also have extra keen senses to help them spot their prey. They can afford to be careless and not pay attention to the little details left behind. You are human, and if you overlook any evidence left by the ones you pursue, you will not find them. You must keep in mind that a meticulous and intelligent human ranger could match any elf at tracking. Your natural disadvantages would be overcome when you learn how to read the details and make proper deductions from them."
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It was a week before Legolas finally decided that the boy was well enough to be trained in the art of war. Estel was a very fast learner with a keen mind; the elf could not believe how a child like that could ever think himself inadequate. He knew warrior training would be invaluable to Estel, but it also meant that he would no longer be able to hold the boy as he did. Legolas could not help but feel a pang of regret and loss in his heart, no matter how many times he told himself he would not be attracted to the future King of Men.
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Upon careful deliberation, the elf chose to begin Estel's warrior training with lessons in archery. It was partly because Legolas was overprotective and did not want his apprentice to move around too much just yet. The major reason, however, was that archery was more of a discipline than a skill. There was only one basic form, so it was easy to learn. Yet, to master it, one must adapt the basic stance to make shots that they can consistently repeat in all situations. While countless hours of practice made the motion of shooting an instinct, a good archer must always maintain a clear mental focus and balance. There was no room for hesitation or distraction once a target was sighted and the bow drawn.
The elf had always believed that for a warrior, the inner strength of heart and mind was more important than physical abilities with weapons. No matter how skilled a fighter was, if he acted rashly or indecisively on a battlefield, he would be defeated. Legolas felt that the best lesson he could give his apprentice was to teach him the mentality of a good warrior early on. After all, Estel was still young and would have much time to perfect his fighting techniques.
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"See that target over there. I want you to shoot at it for me," the elf said, having tied a quiver of arrows onto Estel's back and placed a bow in his hand.
Estel arched back a little as he fumbled for an arrow. After struggling for a minute or two, he managed to grab one by the shaft and notch it. He stood facing the target and drew his bow. He wanted very much to please Shadow, so he aimed for several minutes and adjusted his shot a number of times before he let the arrow fly. It struck an exposed root of an old tree on the right of the target.
I am so useless...
Again, before the boy could continue further with his self-criticism, his mentor spoke. "It is as I thought then; they never taught you the basic stance in shooting. Elves are natural at archery, so your instructors probably did not even realize they needed to teach you the basics. Tell me, what were your archery lessons like?"
"My lessons were very short since my instructors were always busy and my arms tire easily. I would shoot arrows and they would give me some advice. Elladan suggested that I sight down the tip of my arrow to improve my aim. Elhorir told me to tilt my bow a little so I don't get tired as easily. Lord Glorfindel said I should lean into my shot to give it more power. I tried their suggestions, but my shot did not improved. They would tell me that practice makes perfect and that I should try to shoot more on my own. But no matter how I practice, I still cannot hit my targets, even when it was from only 20 yards."
The elf laughed, "I suppose they didn't tell you that you are facing the wrong way?"
Estel stared at him, astonished. "What?"
Legolas explained while demonstrating the proper way to draw a bow for the boy. "A novice should always square the target. Then, bow in hand, hold your left arm up to shoulder level and point your index finger at the target; see how my bow and my body is in a straight line perpendicular to the target; only my head is turned towards it. This position gives you the longest pull length and thus maximum power in your shot. It also let you draw without using too much strength in your right arm. If you pull too hard with the right, your left arm moves; which makes your arrow fly right. For now, you want to hold your bow straight; it makes your shots easily to reproduce. You should always hold your bow up before you draw. Retract your finger to get a firm grip on the bow and pull like this. Now you try."
Estel tried to imitate his mentor's motions. This new stance made drawing the bow much easier. Shadow smiling in encouragement and said, "Try it again."
The boy tried again and again and again at Shadow's insistence. After twenty pulls, Estel could barely feel his arms anymore, not to mention his right elbow was aching. It was already an improvement since he used to be tired only after shooting 5 arrows, but still..
At this rate, my arms would probably fall out before I get to shoot another arrow. I am a ...
"Tired already? An average quiver carries 20 arrows, you would only have emptied one quiver at this point if you were really shooting," the elf teased gently.
Startled out of his thoughts, Estel lowered his bow and turned towards his mentor. It was uncanny how the elf always knew when he was mentally reprimanding himself and would interrupt his thoughts with something. Estel wondered if his mentor could read his mind.
"I think my drawing arm is about to fall out, Shadow. Maybe I am just not strong enough to do this even with the proper technique," the boy answered.
Shadow laughed, "Who said you have the proper technique? You shoulders were too tight and your right elbow was too high. If you do not keep it below your forearm, you would hurt it. Not to mention you were pulling only with your arm. You want to use the muscles in the back of your shoulders. You should rotate your right shoulder to pull your arm up and over. I showed it to you during my demonstration. I just did not point it out in words. You must always watch and listen carefully and learn to see the things unsaid, Estel. That is more important than any physical training; it will take you a long way in life. Now try again. "
Estel did not know to be angry with his mentor or to thank him. While he did learn something important, he was certain there was an easier way to teach him the same thing. It was a most irritating trend in Shadow's lessons. The elf would let him continue down a wrong track and not correct him until he realized something was not right or started belittling himself. His foster family was always quick to point out his faults during classes. Though it hurt to know that he was unable to do anything correctly, he agreed with his instructors that it was the quickest and best way to learn what was right. Yet, despite the tortuousness of his mentor's lessons, his skills were definitely improving.
After grumbling about sadistic mentors who enjoy abusing boys, Estel began his practice again. The elf must have heard his mumble, for his mentor seemed very amused and was laughing softly at him. Estel was seething now, but he suspected his mentor wanted to annoy him deliberately for some reason. After the way the elf had treated him today, he refused to give his mentor that satisfaction. With a determination he did not know he had, he shut out the sound of Shadow's laughter and concentrated on drawing his bow.
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Legolas was amazed at how gullible his apprentice could be at times. Once again, his plan had worked and the boy was well on his way to learning one of the most important lessons in becoming a great warrior. When he found out that Estel did not approve of his teaching style, he had blatantly tried to irk the boy further. He knew his apprentice would see that as a trick and try his best not to fall for it. Instead of giving in to his anger, the boy forced himself to focus intensely on the task at hand. Which in truth, was what Legolas had wanted him to do all along.
The elf did not like tricking Estel in this manner, but one could not teach a lesson in focus and self-control with words alone. Legolas knew that when the boy grew up and assumed his name as Aragorn, he would face countless challenges and hardships. If he were to survive through them, Estel must learn to maintain his focus on the present situation, regardless of the circumstances. He would rather Estel learn that now from his ploys and gentle teasing than in the harshness of the world.
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Estel did not shoot another arrow on the first day of his archery practice. All he did was repeatedly draw his bow; he did not even get to touch an arrow after his first shot. After another hour of training, Shadow had told him to stop and wash up for dinner. The elf had then gone to hunt for food.
However, in his mentor's absence, instead of going to bathe as he was told, Estel decided that he needed more practice. He wanted to be good enough so that his mentor would let him shoot arrows tomorrow. He continued training until he could no longer lift his arms. The pain in his arms and shoulders were excruciating. Even the rough treatment from the slave traders did not hurt so much physically. As he knew his mentor would return soon, he tried to make haste with his bath in the lake. However, with his aching arms and shoulders, he could barely undress himself properly. Since he did not want his disobedience known, Estel forced his arms into motion and gave himself a proper bath. When he was done, his soft skin was spotless and he smelled of sweet mallow flower. Their price, however, was the worst pain Estel had ever experienced.
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As an elf, Legolas only eat for sustenance. He would be content with having the old bread and dried meat in their cave as his dinner, but Estel was human and would probably find that unsatisfactory. The elf wanted to reward his apprentice with some good food after a hard day's practice. He remembered that his previous love was quite fond of rabbit stew, so he decided he would go hunt and collect herbs for the dish.
When he returned, he was surprised to find Estel sitting quietly on his bed in the dark. He had taught his apprentice how to build a fire five days ago. He would have suspected something was amiss if he had not been so distracted by the boy's alluring scent. His apprentice used the mallow flower soap he bought from Bree. The elf had always found that fragrance pleasing, but now mixed with the boy's own scent, it was downright intoxicating.
Stop it!! You are NOT attracted to him. And that is that!! Legolas screamed at himself in his mind.
Having regained some of his composure, the elf turned away from Estel and started to prepare dinner. Soon, the aroma of rabbit stew permeated their cave. Though the food smelled delicious, Legolas found himself missing the sweet scent of his apprentice sorely. When the food was ready, the elf mage placed a bowl of steaming stew in front of his apprentice. He could barely stop himself from staring at the boy, who looked both resolute and vulnerable by the soft light of the fire. He forced himself back to his seat opposite to the boy and started eating.
However, when he noticed Estel had not touched his plate, he asked with concern, "What's wrong? Why are you not eating?"
Estel's arms hurt so much that he could not hold his bowl and spoon properly. When Shadow asked what was troubling him, he bowed his head and remained silent. He did not want his mentor to know about his secret. Besides, it would be too embarrassing to say he could not eat by his own strength.
The elf studied the boy for a long while before realizing what had happened.
He must have practiced more while I am gone and pushed himself beyond his limits. That was why he didn't build a fire. He was too tired to move. I should have foreseen this. I should never have left him alone!!
He moved in front of the boy and filled his spoon with a mouthful of steaming stew. He blew gently at it to make sure it was cool enough to eat and lifted it to Estel's mouth.
The boy just glared at him, refusing to be fed. No, this was just too humiliating.
"Not cooperating, are we? I guess I will just have to tickle you so when you laugh, I can stuff this into your mouth," the elf teased.
Estel opened his mouth to begin an indignant retort, only to be stopped by a spoon and the feel of warm stew filling his mouth. The boy could not believe he fell for that trick!! But now that the spoon-feeding had begun, Estel could see no reason to fight any longer, especially when he was very hungry and the food was delicious. He continued glaring at his mentor, expecting another taunt as he swallowed and open his mouth to be fed again.
But the elf didn't tease him again. He just smiled and continued with his task, slowly and gently putting spoonfuls of warm rabbit stew into Estel's mouth. The boy was beginning to find this experience strangely sensual. The way his mentor moved so graceful and elegantly; the way he looked at him so gently and lovingly with exquisite azure eyes; and the way Shadow's soft breath created tendrils of steam from each spoonful of stew; they gave him a strange warm sensation he had never known. He wondered how it would feel to have Shadow's gentle touch or soft breath on his skin.
Estel was of an age where boys begin to become interested in those things. But because he grew up among elves bent on making his life hell, he never had the chance to become attracted to anyone, least say wonder about pleasures of the flesh. Distracted by the strange direction his thoughts were going, Estel failed to close his mouth in time after a spoonful of food, allowing some stew to trickle down the corner of his lips. Ashamed of his clumsiness, he tried to use his tongue to remove the traces of his embarrassing little blunder but could not reach the spot. His mentor shook his head slightly at him. Smiling, the elf swiped it off for him with one long, slender finger. Unconsciously, Estel licked his lips as a shiver ran down his spine. Even as he told himself to stop thinking of his mentor that way, the boy could not stop fantasizing how it would feel to have Shadow's lips against his own.
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Estel had been looking at him strangely for a while now. It reminded him of how others used to look at him, when he was still the Golden Prince of Greenwood...as if he was beautiful and desirable, a prize whom any man or elf would give everything to take to bed. And there was the way Estel licked his lips at his touch; it almost likened a subtle invitation for him to taste that warm perfect mouth.
No, do not be stupid. There is absolutely nothing desirable about me now. I am Shadow, not the star of Earendil. This means nothing!!
Despite his firm silent rebuttal, part of his heart could not help but wonder if Estel might be the one who could break his curse after all these years.
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After putting their dishes away, his mentor returned and sat once again in front of him. He smiled as he took one of Estel's arms into his hands and began gently massaging it. As the elf's smooth skilled fingers apply gentle pressure, Estel could feel the tension in his muscles release. While his mentor's administrations made his sore arm relax, it was causing a strange tightening in his belly and a warm and tingling sensation that was quickly spreading downwards. He blushed slightly at the implications of his reactions, and was glad that Shadow seemed unaware of his thoughts.
After an hour, the elf had finished with his arms moved behind him to rub his shoulders. When Shadow started work on a particular tight knot in his right shoulder, Estel could not stifle the moans of pleasure that escaped from his lips. Without thought, he closed his eyes and leaned back against the elf.
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Legolas' concentration was completely on his task in relieving the boy's pain. He felt it was his fault that Estel was hurt. The prince was so focused that he missed the telltale signs of desire in his apprentice's eyes when he started rubbing the boy's arms. He was even unaware of the bulge that had been slowly rising in Estel's breeches as he continues his work.
Oblivious of the boy's condition, the elven prince moved behind his apprentice to massage his shoulders. That was when he heard Estel moan. Instinctively, Legolas tensed at the seductive sound. When Estel leaned against him, he could feel his whole body react in desire and need, something he thought he would never experience. His first thought was to turn the boy's face towards him and kiss those tempting soft lips. As he shifted his hand to do so, he brushed slightly against his own mask and stopped dead in his tracks.
He could not do this. Estel did not love him; the future king of Man could not possible love someone as ugly as him. As a teenage boy, he might be curious about those types of relationships, but that was lust, not love. Legolas might not be the star of Earendil he once was, but he had not fallen so far that he would bed someone for pure physical gratification; even if it was Estel, who tugged at his heart like no one else had ever done. Besides, the boy needed his mentorship and friendship, not his love. He had to get away now, before he allowed them to do something they would both regret. With all his will power, Legolas forced himself to move away from the one his heart yearned to be with.
"Go to sleep, Estel. Tommorrow, we leave early for Bree to get more supplies," said the elf from the entrance of the cave, before disappearing into the darkness of the forest.
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When the elf withdrew, Estel felt a sense of loss so strong that he thought his heart was broken in two. Though he was new to the concept of desire and physical relationships, he was not so naïve that he did not understand what just happened. He had offered himself to Shadow and the elf had rejected him. He should be glad that his mentor did not take advantage of his inexplicable urges and behavior, but it hurt to know that Shadow did not want him. His mentor cared for him, but wished only for his companionship, not the intimacy of lovers.
At the prompting of his mentor, Estel laid down on his bed and closed his eyes, for once glad of the distance between himself and Shadow. The last thing he wanted was for the elf to see the silent tears rolling down his cheeks.
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Note: This is super-extended version of draft Chapter 4 from Saturday as my mind seemed filled with 'dirty' thoughts today. I don't really know when guys start thinking about those things, but I thought 16 was about a pretty good age, which was why I made Estel fantasize about my elf the way he did. As a girl, I don't really think in those terms; which is why Legolas is the way he is in my story =) And yes, I do like it when Aragorn takes charge ....
And I did started taking archery lessons, so the elves' instructions were actually based on facts.
Surprised and slightly disappointed that I only have 8 reviews for Chapter 3. Maybe I am posting too fast..
Please, please review. As said before, the more reviews, the faster I post since this is all sort of pre-written now =) Plus, reviews do give me fuels my evil thoughts and give me incentive to expand.
Thinking of writing a not very original funny A/L . I'll probably do it after this one. if I get enough people interested in my writing.
***********************************************************************
Chapter 4: Friends but not love
Estel had been staying with Shadow for five days now. His mentor insisted on carrying him around because of his feet. As much as Estel dislike being unable to support his own weight, he loved the warmth and gentleness of Shadow's embrace. He knew he would miss the intimacy when his mentor decides he could walk again.
His condition had not stopped Shadow from teaching him something new every day. The elf had taken him to explore the woods surrounding their cave, showing him different paths, a lake where they can bath, a small clear stream for drinking water and locations of various medicinal and culinary herbs. His mentor had even started giving him lessons in tracking, pointing out to him what to look for in different situations and where clues would most likely be found. He would never forget his first lesson in tracking.
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FLASHBACK :
His mentor told him there was a deer hidden in the foliage nearby and asked him to find it for him. Unable to spot the deer from his perch on the elf's back, Estel hung his head in shame. His mentor then asked him to look carefully on the ground. No tracks were left on the hard forest floor; but as Estel studied the vegetation on the ground closely, he noticed some patches had been grazed. Looking at the patches, he could see that they form a small winding trial, which disappeared into the forest to their left. As he directed his gaze in that direction, he saw the deer almost entirely concealed among the shrubbery. Unable to contain his excitement, Estel cried, "It's there. I found it."
His mentor smiled and said, "So it is, my dear Estel. Well done!! You could not see it before because you were trying to track like an elf. Elves had the advantage of having trees and animals tell them where to look. They also have extra keen senses to help them spot their prey. They can afford to be careless and not pay attention to the little details left behind. You are human, and if you overlook any evidence left by the ones you pursue, you will not find them. You must keep in mind that a meticulous and intelligent human ranger could match any elf at tracking. Your natural disadvantages would be overcome when you learn how to read the details and make proper deductions from them."
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It was a week before Legolas finally decided that the boy was well enough to be trained in the art of war. Estel was a very fast learner with a keen mind; the elf could not believe how a child like that could ever think himself inadequate. He knew warrior training would be invaluable to Estel, but it also meant that he would no longer be able to hold the boy as he did. Legolas could not help but feel a pang of regret and loss in his heart, no matter how many times he told himself he would not be attracted to the future King of Men.
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Upon careful deliberation, the elf chose to begin Estel's warrior training with lessons in archery. It was partly because Legolas was overprotective and did not want his apprentice to move around too much just yet. The major reason, however, was that archery was more of a discipline than a skill. There was only one basic form, so it was easy to learn. Yet, to master it, one must adapt the basic stance to make shots that they can consistently repeat in all situations. While countless hours of practice made the motion of shooting an instinct, a good archer must always maintain a clear mental focus and balance. There was no room for hesitation or distraction once a target was sighted and the bow drawn.
The elf had always believed that for a warrior, the inner strength of heart and mind was more important than physical abilities with weapons. No matter how skilled a fighter was, if he acted rashly or indecisively on a battlefield, he would be defeated. Legolas felt that the best lesson he could give his apprentice was to teach him the mentality of a good warrior early on. After all, Estel was still young and would have much time to perfect his fighting techniques.
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"See that target over there. I want you to shoot at it for me," the elf said, having tied a quiver of arrows onto Estel's back and placed a bow in his hand.
Estel arched back a little as he fumbled for an arrow. After struggling for a minute or two, he managed to grab one by the shaft and notch it. He stood facing the target and drew his bow. He wanted very much to please Shadow, so he aimed for several minutes and adjusted his shot a number of times before he let the arrow fly. It struck an exposed root of an old tree on the right of the target.
I am so useless...
Again, before the boy could continue further with his self-criticism, his mentor spoke. "It is as I thought then; they never taught you the basic stance in shooting. Elves are natural at archery, so your instructors probably did not even realize they needed to teach you the basics. Tell me, what were your archery lessons like?"
"My lessons were very short since my instructors were always busy and my arms tire easily. I would shoot arrows and they would give me some advice. Elladan suggested that I sight down the tip of my arrow to improve my aim. Elhorir told me to tilt my bow a little so I don't get tired as easily. Lord Glorfindel said I should lean into my shot to give it more power. I tried their suggestions, but my shot did not improved. They would tell me that practice makes perfect and that I should try to shoot more on my own. But no matter how I practice, I still cannot hit my targets, even when it was from only 20 yards."
The elf laughed, "I suppose they didn't tell you that you are facing the wrong way?"
Estel stared at him, astonished. "What?"
Legolas explained while demonstrating the proper way to draw a bow for the boy. "A novice should always square the target. Then, bow in hand, hold your left arm up to shoulder level and point your index finger at the target; see how my bow and my body is in a straight line perpendicular to the target; only my head is turned towards it. This position gives you the longest pull length and thus maximum power in your shot. It also let you draw without using too much strength in your right arm. If you pull too hard with the right, your left arm moves; which makes your arrow fly right. For now, you want to hold your bow straight; it makes your shots easily to reproduce. You should always hold your bow up before you draw. Retract your finger to get a firm grip on the bow and pull like this. Now you try."
Estel tried to imitate his mentor's motions. This new stance made drawing the bow much easier. Shadow smiling in encouragement and said, "Try it again."
The boy tried again and again and again at Shadow's insistence. After twenty pulls, Estel could barely feel his arms anymore, not to mention his right elbow was aching. It was already an improvement since he used to be tired only after shooting 5 arrows, but still..
At this rate, my arms would probably fall out before I get to shoot another arrow. I am a ...
"Tired already? An average quiver carries 20 arrows, you would only have emptied one quiver at this point if you were really shooting," the elf teased gently.
Startled out of his thoughts, Estel lowered his bow and turned towards his mentor. It was uncanny how the elf always knew when he was mentally reprimanding himself and would interrupt his thoughts with something. Estel wondered if his mentor could read his mind.
"I think my drawing arm is about to fall out, Shadow. Maybe I am just not strong enough to do this even with the proper technique," the boy answered.
Shadow laughed, "Who said you have the proper technique? You shoulders were too tight and your right elbow was too high. If you do not keep it below your forearm, you would hurt it. Not to mention you were pulling only with your arm. You want to use the muscles in the back of your shoulders. You should rotate your right shoulder to pull your arm up and over. I showed it to you during my demonstration. I just did not point it out in words. You must always watch and listen carefully and learn to see the things unsaid, Estel. That is more important than any physical training; it will take you a long way in life. Now try again. "
Estel did not know to be angry with his mentor or to thank him. While he did learn something important, he was certain there was an easier way to teach him the same thing. It was a most irritating trend in Shadow's lessons. The elf would let him continue down a wrong track and not correct him until he realized something was not right or started belittling himself. His foster family was always quick to point out his faults during classes. Though it hurt to know that he was unable to do anything correctly, he agreed with his instructors that it was the quickest and best way to learn what was right. Yet, despite the tortuousness of his mentor's lessons, his skills were definitely improving.
After grumbling about sadistic mentors who enjoy abusing boys, Estel began his practice again. The elf must have heard his mumble, for his mentor seemed very amused and was laughing softly at him. Estel was seething now, but he suspected his mentor wanted to annoy him deliberately for some reason. After the way the elf had treated him today, he refused to give his mentor that satisfaction. With a determination he did not know he had, he shut out the sound of Shadow's laughter and concentrated on drawing his bow.
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Legolas was amazed at how gullible his apprentice could be at times. Once again, his plan had worked and the boy was well on his way to learning one of the most important lessons in becoming a great warrior. When he found out that Estel did not approve of his teaching style, he had blatantly tried to irk the boy further. He knew his apprentice would see that as a trick and try his best not to fall for it. Instead of giving in to his anger, the boy forced himself to focus intensely on the task at hand. Which in truth, was what Legolas had wanted him to do all along.
The elf did not like tricking Estel in this manner, but one could not teach a lesson in focus and self-control with words alone. Legolas knew that when the boy grew up and assumed his name as Aragorn, he would face countless challenges and hardships. If he were to survive through them, Estel must learn to maintain his focus on the present situation, regardless of the circumstances. He would rather Estel learn that now from his ploys and gentle teasing than in the harshness of the world.
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Estel did not shoot another arrow on the first day of his archery practice. All he did was repeatedly draw his bow; he did not even get to touch an arrow after his first shot. After another hour of training, Shadow had told him to stop and wash up for dinner. The elf had then gone to hunt for food.
However, in his mentor's absence, instead of going to bathe as he was told, Estel decided that he needed more practice. He wanted to be good enough so that his mentor would let him shoot arrows tomorrow. He continued training until he could no longer lift his arms. The pain in his arms and shoulders were excruciating. Even the rough treatment from the slave traders did not hurt so much physically. As he knew his mentor would return soon, he tried to make haste with his bath in the lake. However, with his aching arms and shoulders, he could barely undress himself properly. Since he did not want his disobedience known, Estel forced his arms into motion and gave himself a proper bath. When he was done, his soft skin was spotless and he smelled of sweet mallow flower. Their price, however, was the worst pain Estel had ever experienced.
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As an elf, Legolas only eat for sustenance. He would be content with having the old bread and dried meat in their cave as his dinner, but Estel was human and would probably find that unsatisfactory. The elf wanted to reward his apprentice with some good food after a hard day's practice. He remembered that his previous love was quite fond of rabbit stew, so he decided he would go hunt and collect herbs for the dish.
When he returned, he was surprised to find Estel sitting quietly on his bed in the dark. He had taught his apprentice how to build a fire five days ago. He would have suspected something was amiss if he had not been so distracted by the boy's alluring scent. His apprentice used the mallow flower soap he bought from Bree. The elf had always found that fragrance pleasing, but now mixed with the boy's own scent, it was downright intoxicating.
Stop it!! You are NOT attracted to him. And that is that!! Legolas screamed at himself in his mind.
Having regained some of his composure, the elf turned away from Estel and started to prepare dinner. Soon, the aroma of rabbit stew permeated their cave. Though the food smelled delicious, Legolas found himself missing the sweet scent of his apprentice sorely. When the food was ready, the elf mage placed a bowl of steaming stew in front of his apprentice. He could barely stop himself from staring at the boy, who looked both resolute and vulnerable by the soft light of the fire. He forced himself back to his seat opposite to the boy and started eating.
However, when he noticed Estel had not touched his plate, he asked with concern, "What's wrong? Why are you not eating?"
Estel's arms hurt so much that he could not hold his bowl and spoon properly. When Shadow asked what was troubling him, he bowed his head and remained silent. He did not want his mentor to know about his secret. Besides, it would be too embarrassing to say he could not eat by his own strength.
The elf studied the boy for a long while before realizing what had happened.
He must have practiced more while I am gone and pushed himself beyond his limits. That was why he didn't build a fire. He was too tired to move. I should have foreseen this. I should never have left him alone!!
He moved in front of the boy and filled his spoon with a mouthful of steaming stew. He blew gently at it to make sure it was cool enough to eat and lifted it to Estel's mouth.
The boy just glared at him, refusing to be fed. No, this was just too humiliating.
"Not cooperating, are we? I guess I will just have to tickle you so when you laugh, I can stuff this into your mouth," the elf teased.
Estel opened his mouth to begin an indignant retort, only to be stopped by a spoon and the feel of warm stew filling his mouth. The boy could not believe he fell for that trick!! But now that the spoon-feeding had begun, Estel could see no reason to fight any longer, especially when he was very hungry and the food was delicious. He continued glaring at his mentor, expecting another taunt as he swallowed and open his mouth to be fed again.
But the elf didn't tease him again. He just smiled and continued with his task, slowly and gently putting spoonfuls of warm rabbit stew into Estel's mouth. The boy was beginning to find this experience strangely sensual. The way his mentor moved so graceful and elegantly; the way he looked at him so gently and lovingly with exquisite azure eyes; and the way Shadow's soft breath created tendrils of steam from each spoonful of stew; they gave him a strange warm sensation he had never known. He wondered how it would feel to have Shadow's gentle touch or soft breath on his skin.
Estel was of an age where boys begin to become interested in those things. But because he grew up among elves bent on making his life hell, he never had the chance to become attracted to anyone, least say wonder about pleasures of the flesh. Distracted by the strange direction his thoughts were going, Estel failed to close his mouth in time after a spoonful of food, allowing some stew to trickle down the corner of his lips. Ashamed of his clumsiness, he tried to use his tongue to remove the traces of his embarrassing little blunder but could not reach the spot. His mentor shook his head slightly at him. Smiling, the elf swiped it off for him with one long, slender finger. Unconsciously, Estel licked his lips as a shiver ran down his spine. Even as he told himself to stop thinking of his mentor that way, the boy could not stop fantasizing how it would feel to have Shadow's lips against his own.
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Estel had been looking at him strangely for a while now. It reminded him of how others used to look at him, when he was still the Golden Prince of Greenwood...as if he was beautiful and desirable, a prize whom any man or elf would give everything to take to bed. And there was the way Estel licked his lips at his touch; it almost likened a subtle invitation for him to taste that warm perfect mouth.
No, do not be stupid. There is absolutely nothing desirable about me now. I am Shadow, not the star of Earendil. This means nothing!!
Despite his firm silent rebuttal, part of his heart could not help but wonder if Estel might be the one who could break his curse after all these years.
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After putting their dishes away, his mentor returned and sat once again in front of him. He smiled as he took one of Estel's arms into his hands and began gently massaging it. As the elf's smooth skilled fingers apply gentle pressure, Estel could feel the tension in his muscles release. While his mentor's administrations made his sore arm relax, it was causing a strange tightening in his belly and a warm and tingling sensation that was quickly spreading downwards. He blushed slightly at the implications of his reactions, and was glad that Shadow seemed unaware of his thoughts.
After an hour, the elf had finished with his arms moved behind him to rub his shoulders. When Shadow started work on a particular tight knot in his right shoulder, Estel could not stifle the moans of pleasure that escaped from his lips. Without thought, he closed his eyes and leaned back against the elf.
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Legolas' concentration was completely on his task in relieving the boy's pain. He felt it was his fault that Estel was hurt. The prince was so focused that he missed the telltale signs of desire in his apprentice's eyes when he started rubbing the boy's arms. He was even unaware of the bulge that had been slowly rising in Estel's breeches as he continues his work.
Oblivious of the boy's condition, the elven prince moved behind his apprentice to massage his shoulders. That was when he heard Estel moan. Instinctively, Legolas tensed at the seductive sound. When Estel leaned against him, he could feel his whole body react in desire and need, something he thought he would never experience. His first thought was to turn the boy's face towards him and kiss those tempting soft lips. As he shifted his hand to do so, he brushed slightly against his own mask and stopped dead in his tracks.
He could not do this. Estel did not love him; the future king of Man could not possible love someone as ugly as him. As a teenage boy, he might be curious about those types of relationships, but that was lust, not love. Legolas might not be the star of Earendil he once was, but he had not fallen so far that he would bed someone for pure physical gratification; even if it was Estel, who tugged at his heart like no one else had ever done. Besides, the boy needed his mentorship and friendship, not his love. He had to get away now, before he allowed them to do something they would both regret. With all his will power, Legolas forced himself to move away from the one his heart yearned to be with.
"Go to sleep, Estel. Tommorrow, we leave early for Bree to get more supplies," said the elf from the entrance of the cave, before disappearing into the darkness of the forest.
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When the elf withdrew, Estel felt a sense of loss so strong that he thought his heart was broken in two. Though he was new to the concept of desire and physical relationships, he was not so naïve that he did not understand what just happened. He had offered himself to Shadow and the elf had rejected him. He should be glad that his mentor did not take advantage of his inexplicable urges and behavior, but it hurt to know that Shadow did not want him. His mentor cared for him, but wished only for his companionship, not the intimacy of lovers.
At the prompting of his mentor, Estel laid down on his bed and closed his eyes, for once glad of the distance between himself and Shadow. The last thing he wanted was for the elf to see the silent tears rolling down his cheeks.
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Note: This is super-extended version of draft Chapter 4 from Saturday as my mind seemed filled with 'dirty' thoughts today. I don't really know when guys start thinking about those things, but I thought 16 was about a pretty good age, which was why I made Estel fantasize about my elf the way he did. As a girl, I don't really think in those terms; which is why Legolas is the way he is in my story =) And yes, I do like it when Aragorn takes charge ....
And I did started taking archery lessons, so the elves' instructions were actually based on facts.