The Evil Bacon Takeover!!!
Harry rushed into the Rite-Aid, in search of Ron. He ran all through the store, and didn't see him anywhere. When he eventually heard the sound of maniacal laughing (u can get lost in those places!!!), he knew he had found Ron. He rounded the corner and screamed.
"My eyes! My eyes! They burn!"
Ron turned around and said, "Harry!?! How did you get here?"
"I have been emotionally scarred for life! And here I thought I was the only one."
The Care Bears and the Smurfs were congratulating each other on a job well done. The world was once again free of the evil Teletubbies. It's just not right to have creatures who have TV's for stomachs (*shudders* nightmares.).
"Nice work, Papa Smurf."
"You too, Care Bear."
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
A piercing scream ripped through the air. Everyone turned to see Hermione huddled in a far corner of the room. She was chewing on the arm of a wounded Care Bear.
"What? I smelled bacon!"
"I'm not dead!" The Care Bear protested.
"That can be fixed," Hermione said, and promptly ripped out his heart.
While everyone was busy gagging, Papa Smurf was searching for something. "Aha! You're not supposed to eat us! You're a cannibal! The script even says so!"
"Oh, it that the script?" Hermione asked innocently. "I burned it." She smiled evilly.
"You- you've been taken!" Papa Smurf shrieked (hahaha, he shrieks!!!).
"But the bacon was so persuasive-," Hermione began. Before she could finish, the remaining Smurfs and Care Bears had taken the opportunity to run away. "So the hunt begins.." Hermione cackled evilly. "Mwahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
"But honey, we're alone now," said the no-longer-being-eaten Care Bear.
"I know we are..." began Hermione. She turned, still grinning evilly.
"You lied to me!!! NNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
So that is why the Care Bear felt it necessary to cut her head off. The decapitated head glared at him from the floor. "I'll be back." Then the eyes glazed over, and the Care Bear picked up a chopped off leg. "Hmm, it does smell like bacon." And he began to chew.
Ron was kneeling next to a sobbing Harry. "Harry, it didn't mean anything, honest. Harry look at me!!!"
"You ate the papaya! You knew that one was mine! How could you?" And so, to make Harry feel better, Ron took him on his lap and began to whisper secrets to him that no one else cared about.
Meanwhile.
Dirk Gently (he is from Douglas Adams, and so is his detective agency. he's not mine *sobs*) sat at his desk in his rundown office. Being bored, he decided to call random numbers, and then persist in asking the person he called why they kept calling him. He picked up the phone and dialed.
"Hello?" said Snape from another universe, where the cheese and rats are fighting each other, Snape is worshipped, and they DO have phones.
"Hello? Yes? What is it?" Dirk Gently said testily.
"Who are you?"
"Who do you think you are? Calling me in the middle of the night!"
"I do believe you called me."
"I most certainly did not. You really need to stop stalking me!"
"I assure you, if I thought that you were worth stalking, I wouldn't have done it anyway."
"So you say now."
"All right, why are you calling me?"
"I'm not! You called me! And my tribes people and I demand tribute for our patience." Dirk Gently grinned.
"Tribute? To you? A lowly Muggle?" shouted Snape, outraged. "This mans WAR! You will pay for your insolence!"
Dirk Gently hung up the phone and smiled. That was definitely one of the most interesting conversations he had had yet. Maybe he would get hired to figure out what was going on. He laughed. Then someone jumped in his window, and demanded to be paid. He gasped in recognition, looking at.
A/N: hehehe, another cliffie. as if u really care, but i have fun. woooooooohooooooooo! i have to go pay tribute to the candy for using it in my story. my cool purple hue monkeys will see u out
Harry rushed into the Rite-Aid, in search of Ron. He ran all through the store, and didn't see him anywhere. When he eventually heard the sound of maniacal laughing (u can get lost in those places!!!), he knew he had found Ron. He rounded the corner and screamed.
"My eyes! My eyes! They burn!"
Ron turned around and said, "Harry!?! How did you get here?"
"I have been emotionally scarred for life! And here I thought I was the only one."
The Care Bears and the Smurfs were congratulating each other on a job well done. The world was once again free of the evil Teletubbies. It's just not right to have creatures who have TV's for stomachs (*shudders* nightmares.).
"Nice work, Papa Smurf."
"You too, Care Bear."
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
A piercing scream ripped through the air. Everyone turned to see Hermione huddled in a far corner of the room. She was chewing on the arm of a wounded Care Bear.
"What? I smelled bacon!"
"I'm not dead!" The Care Bear protested.
"That can be fixed," Hermione said, and promptly ripped out his heart.
While everyone was busy gagging, Papa Smurf was searching for something. "Aha! You're not supposed to eat us! You're a cannibal! The script even says so!"
"Oh, it that the script?" Hermione asked innocently. "I burned it." She smiled evilly.
"You- you've been taken!" Papa Smurf shrieked (hahaha, he shrieks!!!).
"But the bacon was so persuasive-," Hermione began. Before she could finish, the remaining Smurfs and Care Bears had taken the opportunity to run away. "So the hunt begins.." Hermione cackled evilly. "Mwahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
"But honey, we're alone now," said the no-longer-being-eaten Care Bear.
"I know we are..." began Hermione. She turned, still grinning evilly.
"You lied to me!!! NNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
So that is why the Care Bear felt it necessary to cut her head off. The decapitated head glared at him from the floor. "I'll be back." Then the eyes glazed over, and the Care Bear picked up a chopped off leg. "Hmm, it does smell like bacon." And he began to chew.
Ron was kneeling next to a sobbing Harry. "Harry, it didn't mean anything, honest. Harry look at me!!!"
"You ate the papaya! You knew that one was mine! How could you?" And so, to make Harry feel better, Ron took him on his lap and began to whisper secrets to him that no one else cared about.
Meanwhile.
Dirk Gently (he is from Douglas Adams, and so is his detective agency. he's not mine *sobs*) sat at his desk in his rundown office. Being bored, he decided to call random numbers, and then persist in asking the person he called why they kept calling him. He picked up the phone and dialed.
"Hello?" said Snape from another universe, where the cheese and rats are fighting each other, Snape is worshipped, and they DO have phones.
"Hello? Yes? What is it?" Dirk Gently said testily.
"Who are you?"
"Who do you think you are? Calling me in the middle of the night!"
"I do believe you called me."
"I most certainly did not. You really need to stop stalking me!"
"I assure you, if I thought that you were worth stalking, I wouldn't have done it anyway."
"So you say now."
"All right, why are you calling me?"
"I'm not! You called me! And my tribes people and I demand tribute for our patience." Dirk Gently grinned.
"Tribute? To you? A lowly Muggle?" shouted Snape, outraged. "This mans WAR! You will pay for your insolence!"
Dirk Gently hung up the phone and smiled. That was definitely one of the most interesting conversations he had had yet. Maybe he would get hired to figure out what was going on. He laughed. Then someone jumped in his window, and demanded to be paid. He gasped in recognition, looking at.
A/N: hehehe, another cliffie. as if u really care, but i have fun. woooooooohooooooooo! i have to go pay tribute to the candy for using it in my story. my cool purple hue monkeys will see u out