The Swan From Hell
Summary: The Charmed Ones were invited to a wedding. How nice. Or so they thought... until the ice sculpture swan turned into a raging beast! Now the swan has taken over the wedding and the Charmed Ones must stop it before it takes over THE WORLD!! And there's also an evil cake.
Disclaimer: I don't own Charmed.
A/N: I had this in my Stories folder for a while now and I've been convinced to post it. You people better have not forgotten me, cause the legacy is about to continue. I bet you don't know what that means. Only kt, Olly, and some others do. You'll learn soon enough kiddies.
A/N 2: This hasn't been spellchecked or reread.
Prue panted. Each breath sent agony shooting through every inch of her body. She moved her hand so she could better look at her wound. It still wasn't looking good. Oh the blood was awful.
Damn that swan. Damn it straight to hell.
The wedding had started pleasant enough. It was just like a regular wedding, kind of like the one Phoebe had in Vegas, but had skipped out on the guy at the altar. The one she never told anyone about.
But that was two weeks ago. Everything was different now.
As soon as the ice sculpture was brought out, Piper knew there was going to be trouble. She stared into the swan's beady little ice eyes and scowled. He (and only the Elders know how Piper knew it was a male scultpure) was trouble. She sensed it. Like it was a sense of hers or something.
But Prue knew the cake was evil incarnate. Just the look of it's frosting sent chills down her very spine. Her. Very. Spine! It was too sugary for her liking. She knew it was evil like the swan that Piper had said was evil cause she sensed it so. Well, Prue sensed something about the cake. Damn that cake.
While Phoebe drolled on and on to a bridesmaid about how "pretty" her dress was, Prue and Secret Agent Pips (Piper had just given herself that codename just a minute before I began writing this very paragraph) staked out the cake and scultpture. They felt it in their bones. Some serious shiznit was going down that afternoon.
Oh how right those crazy bi - witches were. Oh sure, they didn't want to be right. Really, when you have the feeling that a cake and ice sculpture were about to kill at least a hundred people... do you really want to be right about that? Hmmmm? DO YOU?
Suddenly, Prue thought - no, she KNEW she heard the cake utter a threat. Immediately, Prue sprang onto the cake. The table went down with her and a tussle ensued. Prue fought with the cake. Fought like she had never foughten with a baked good before. She rolled, ducked its cakey splats, then finally she grabbed a cake cutting knife thingy.
"See you in hell, cake!" Prue screamed then plunged the cake cutting knife thingy into the cake's vanillay heartish thing.
With a spray of frosting, the cake lay sputtering, on the edge of deathness.
Prue straightened up and turned. Only to feel the sting of something sharp being stabbeded into her side. She whirled around and saw the cake fall. She looked at her side and saw a sharpened napkin holder plunged into her. She wrenched it out, then threw it on the cake. SHe spat on the lifeless cake then walked off.
It was Piper's turn now. Oh damn.
Piper watched as a drip of water fell from the swan's melting beak. With a twitch of her anxious face, Piper dove onto the sculpture. She tried strangling it, but it was useless. He was too slippery!
"Damn you swan! Damn you straight to hell!" Piper screamed, then grabbed the cake cutting knife thingy that Prue had luckily dropped nearby, then began (oh gasp Piper!) shaving away at the ice sculpture's swany features.
After killing the beast, Piper stood up. When she noticed the ice shavings all over her clothing, she dropped the cake cutting knife thingy in horror.
"What have I done? Oh, what have I done?" She whispered.
"It was for the best." Phoebe said, finally joining in on the story. "He was evil."
"But I could have saved him!" Piper said. "Given him love, made him good, converted him to my religion... but no. I killed him instead."
But lo! The swan of evilness hath not been vanquish...edth. He rose up (faceless, but still) and slapped Piper with his icy wing.
"Foolish witch!" The ice sculpture swan's voice rang out from... someplace. "I am the swan! I am your ruler! All bow before this swan, who will rule the world! Mwhahahaha!"
"And bow before I! Um... Me! I! Me! Aw damn forget it." The cake said and rose up. "For I am the other thing that's gonna take over the world! So there!"
The cake began throwing itself at everyone. Everyone screamed and hid. Prue flipped over a table (without her power, how koo) and dove behind it. Piper froze some cake just before it hit her, then hid behind a ramshackle pew. Just because I think 'ramshackle pew' sounds funny. And Phoebe... well, use your imagination.
The swan then began melting. Good! No, bad! With each meltingness drop thing, more and more swans were spawned. Eeek!
"Attack my children! Atttaccccckkkkkkkk!" The swan screamed.
It was hunting season.
"Be vewy, vewy quiet." Piper said and began blowing up the tiny swans. "I'm hunting tiny ice swans bent on world domination."
The cake was meeting it's match. Prue had begun to hurl the cake cutting knife thingy at it over and over and over and over and over and...you get the picture. Pieces of the cake were flying everywhere.
Soon the cake from hell was dead.
Piper blew up the last tiny swan and turned, smirking, to the once-great-but-now-melted-really-small swan ice sculpture. She walked over to him and picked him up.
"Please don't hurt me!" He squeaked in a tiny voice.
"Pah." Was all Piper replied, then crushed the swan in her hand.
"Lets all go home." Prue said.
Piper nodded and they hobbled (they WERE injured and all) to the exit. They got into the car and drove off, leaving the wedding hell far behind them.
"Hey!" Phoebe called from behind a folding chair. "Is it dead yet?"
THE END
Summary: The Charmed Ones were invited to a wedding. How nice. Or so they thought... until the ice sculpture swan turned into a raging beast! Now the swan has taken over the wedding and the Charmed Ones must stop it before it takes over THE WORLD!! And there's also an evil cake.
Disclaimer: I don't own Charmed.
A/N: I had this in my Stories folder for a while now and I've been convinced to post it. You people better have not forgotten me, cause the legacy is about to continue. I bet you don't know what that means. Only kt, Olly, and some others do. You'll learn soon enough kiddies.
A/N 2: This hasn't been spellchecked or reread.
Prue panted. Each breath sent agony shooting through every inch of her body. She moved her hand so she could better look at her wound. It still wasn't looking good. Oh the blood was awful.
Damn that swan. Damn it straight to hell.
The wedding had started pleasant enough. It was just like a regular wedding, kind of like the one Phoebe had in Vegas, but had skipped out on the guy at the altar. The one she never told anyone about.
But that was two weeks ago. Everything was different now.
As soon as the ice sculpture was brought out, Piper knew there was going to be trouble. She stared into the swan's beady little ice eyes and scowled. He (and only the Elders know how Piper knew it was a male scultpure) was trouble. She sensed it. Like it was a sense of hers or something.
But Prue knew the cake was evil incarnate. Just the look of it's frosting sent chills down her very spine. Her. Very. Spine! It was too sugary for her liking. She knew it was evil like the swan that Piper had said was evil cause she sensed it so. Well, Prue sensed something about the cake. Damn that cake.
While Phoebe drolled on and on to a bridesmaid about how "pretty" her dress was, Prue and Secret Agent Pips (Piper had just given herself that codename just a minute before I began writing this very paragraph) staked out the cake and scultpture. They felt it in their bones. Some serious shiznit was going down that afternoon.
Oh how right those crazy bi - witches were. Oh sure, they didn't want to be right. Really, when you have the feeling that a cake and ice sculpture were about to kill at least a hundred people... do you really want to be right about that? Hmmmm? DO YOU?
Suddenly, Prue thought - no, she KNEW she heard the cake utter a threat. Immediately, Prue sprang onto the cake. The table went down with her and a tussle ensued. Prue fought with the cake. Fought like she had never foughten with a baked good before. She rolled, ducked its cakey splats, then finally she grabbed a cake cutting knife thingy.
"See you in hell, cake!" Prue screamed then plunged the cake cutting knife thingy into the cake's vanillay heartish thing.
With a spray of frosting, the cake lay sputtering, on the edge of deathness.
Prue straightened up and turned. Only to feel the sting of something sharp being stabbeded into her side. She whirled around and saw the cake fall. She looked at her side and saw a sharpened napkin holder plunged into her. She wrenched it out, then threw it on the cake. SHe spat on the lifeless cake then walked off.
It was Piper's turn now. Oh damn.
Piper watched as a drip of water fell from the swan's melting beak. With a twitch of her anxious face, Piper dove onto the sculpture. She tried strangling it, but it was useless. He was too slippery!
"Damn you swan! Damn you straight to hell!" Piper screamed, then grabbed the cake cutting knife thingy that Prue had luckily dropped nearby, then began (oh gasp Piper!) shaving away at the ice sculpture's swany features.
After killing the beast, Piper stood up. When she noticed the ice shavings all over her clothing, she dropped the cake cutting knife thingy in horror.
"What have I done? Oh, what have I done?" She whispered.
"It was for the best." Phoebe said, finally joining in on the story. "He was evil."
"But I could have saved him!" Piper said. "Given him love, made him good, converted him to my religion... but no. I killed him instead."
But lo! The swan of evilness hath not been vanquish...edth. He rose up (faceless, but still) and slapped Piper with his icy wing.
"Foolish witch!" The ice sculpture swan's voice rang out from... someplace. "I am the swan! I am your ruler! All bow before this swan, who will rule the world! Mwhahahaha!"
"And bow before I! Um... Me! I! Me! Aw damn forget it." The cake said and rose up. "For I am the other thing that's gonna take over the world! So there!"
The cake began throwing itself at everyone. Everyone screamed and hid. Prue flipped over a table (without her power, how koo) and dove behind it. Piper froze some cake just before it hit her, then hid behind a ramshackle pew. Just because I think 'ramshackle pew' sounds funny. And Phoebe... well, use your imagination.
The swan then began melting. Good! No, bad! With each meltingness drop thing, more and more swans were spawned. Eeek!
"Attack my children! Atttaccccckkkkkkkk!" The swan screamed.
It was hunting season.
"Be vewy, vewy quiet." Piper said and began blowing up the tiny swans. "I'm hunting tiny ice swans bent on world domination."
The cake was meeting it's match. Prue had begun to hurl the cake cutting knife thingy at it over and over and over and over and over and...you get the picture. Pieces of the cake were flying everywhere.
Soon the cake from hell was dead.
Piper blew up the last tiny swan and turned, smirking, to the once-great-but-now-melted-really-small swan ice sculpture. She walked over to him and picked him up.
"Please don't hurt me!" He squeaked in a tiny voice.
"Pah." Was all Piper replied, then crushed the swan in her hand.
"Lets all go home." Prue said.
Piper nodded and they hobbled (they WERE injured and all) to the exit. They got into the car and drove off, leaving the wedding hell far behind them.
"Hey!" Phoebe called from behind a folding chair. "Is it dead yet?"
THE END