Dedicated to Iphigenia
Rubida Luna: The Sev and Iphi Story
"Sev! Come on, Sevvie wake up! Sevvie, Sevvie, Sevvie!" The dark haired, eighteen-year old shook her roommate insistently.
"Go 'way!"
As a last resort, the fully awake girl tugged the covers off the half-asleep one. "You bitch!" Sev jumped of her bed intending to tackle her rouser, but instead missed in the darkened room and landed in the hardwood floor. Iphi was already sitting casually on her bed as Sev painfully crawled back onto hers.
Severa Rimmer and Iphigenia Lister were the only two Slytherin girls in their grade. They were seventh years. Sev was still seventeen, only a couple months younger than Iphi. She had dishwater-blonde hair that fell to her shoulders, except a small braid behind her ear that rested against her chest. She rubbed her knee, which she landed on, and glared at Iphigenia. Iphi's hair was about the same length as Severa's but hers was a nice brown. Iphi had a decidingly more pleasant countenance than her roommate; she had a sweet smile that lit up her eyes on rosy cheeks, Severa was pale with a smile that never seemed to reach her eyes.
Severa squinted at her watch, then her eyes widened. "Bloody hell, it's only 5:30!"
"The early bird gets the worm," Iphi replied in her rich Liverpoolian accent.
Severa's lips turned up in a sneer. "I don't consider garden maggots as a morning motivator." Her accent was more of the generic London type.
"Worms and maggots are two completely different creatures," Iphi lectured as she lit the candle on her nightstand. Iphi's shrine to Sir Derek Jakobi (pictures of the distinguished Shakespearian actor arranged in a seamless collage) was illuminated.
"Oh, please, I can't believe you and your disgusting obsession with a man more than three times your age!" Saying this, Severa lit the candle on her own nightstand revealing her homage to Alan Rickman. Her dedication was a less organized smattering of pinups a of the stage actor turned movie villain.
"Hypocrite," Iphi called out.
Severa ignored the comment, continued eyeballing the pictures, and sighed. "Have you ever noticed how much Professor Snape looks like him?"
It was difficult to miss the sarcasm in Iphi's voice, "No, I haven't, even though you've pointed it out about a bazillion times! Personally, if I was Snape, I would take such a comparison as an insult."
"Tish, pshaw, nonsense! At least my Alan can't be compared to Mr. Ollivander! Creepy dude, probably a child molester."
Iphi stood up, eyes wide in shock. "I can not believe you just said that! Mr. Ollivander is a sweet old man who wouldn't hurt a fly!"
Sev smirked. "Who said I was talking about Ollivander?"
Iphi was fuming. "You wha'? Like your big nosed git is so great? Derek has been knighted! Where's Alan's title, hmm? The greatest honour he had ever received was an Emmy! Ooooh, recognize by the American entertainment industry, very prestigious. Derek uses Alan's Emmy to pick the bits of dinner out of his teeth!"
Severa's face became disturbingly stoic. She stared at Iphi and spoke in an inflectionless voice. "You better watch what you sat about my Alan Rickman or-" She reached under her covers and fished around for a bit before she continued, "Mr. Flibble will be very cross…" She removed a plush penguin from under the blankets. She squeezed its stomach, which made the doll's eyes glow red.
Iphigenia let out a blood-curdling scream and ran out of the room. Severa strained a serious face, hugged Mr. Flibble to her chest, and followed Iphi out of the room. Iphi sat on the stairs leading from their dorm, hugging her knees to her chest. "I'm sorry," Sev said, sitting next to her roommate.
"No you're not," Iphi whimpered.
Severa pouted. "Mr. Flibble's sorry, too, aren't you, Mr. Flibble?" She brought the doll up to the side of her face in a motion as if it were whispering in her ear. "See, he's sorry, too!"
"No he's not! He's just a stupid, dumb, doll! How can it be sorry? It's just some vessel for one of your split personalities!"
Severa just sat, smirking at her roommate's outburst. "Hey, Iphi…" She sing-songed. Then she really did start singing in her light mezzo-soprano, "You're beautiful, that's for sure, you won't every fade. You're lovely, but it's mot for sure, please don't ever change. Though my love is rare, though my love is true, I'm just sacred that we might fall through."
As Severa came to the chorus, Iphigenia joined in with her rich alto tones. "I'm like a bird, I long to fly away. I don't know where my home is, I don't know where my soul is. And all I need for you to know is…" The duo continued to sing "their song" as they got ready for breakfast and the morning's classes.
Sev and Iphi sat down at the Slytherin table for breakfast. They sat across from eachother and chatted. That's when a boy, dressed all in black, sidled up to Sev. "Good morning, ladies! How are my favourite sexy babes doing?"
Iphi smiled warmly at him. "Hi Jake."
"Yes, good morning, Jake." Severa squirmed uncomfortably as the boy put an arm around her waist.
Jake smiled at the two of them with a hint of a leer. "So, what does a guy have to do to get you luscious beauties naked together in a tub of pudding?"
"What flavour?" Inquired Iphi.
"Any kind you want, sweet heart!"
"mmm…chocolate."
Severa perked up. "How about strawberry?"
Iphi scoffed. "You are such a gimboid, Rimmer! They don't make strawberry pudding!"
Jake winked and said in his most car salesman voice, "They do if Sev wants it. Anyway, I better be off, I have a certain teacher to schmooze into passing me." Jake left, but not with out planting a kiss on both girls.
"Speaking of schmoozing teachers," Iphi said, "don't we have potions today?"
"Yeah, not till second period though. You have Spell Translation first and I have Journalism."
"Well then," Iphi said, "don't want to be late."
The two girls got up and went off to their respected classes.
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Lyrics for "I'm Like a Bird" from Nelly Fertado.
Jake appears courtesy of the Naughty but Nice, the Eastern division
Chapter 2… Sev and Iphi in potions class!