I would advise you read The Many Beatings of Aragorn before reading this
story otherwise you won't know what the hell is going on.
Hello, hello, hello. Welcome to the continuation story to Aragorn beatings. We here at Aragorn Beatings Inc are here to reassure you that though the plot was last around chapter 7 of the first story that there will still be many incidents where an Aragorn will be maimed, beaten, cut, smooshed, eaten, poked, clobbered, crunched, smacked, smited, tripped, tortured, executed and manhandled so don't worry if that's what your reading for. Enjoy.
Hi there. We here at the Legolas tug-o war factory are here to reassure you that at any particular time when it appeared that the elf was being hurt it was actually one of our Legolas tug-o-war dolls, valued $19.95. This was because he refused to let himself be damaged in any way (PUSSY. Seamoose). But this did allow us to make lots of money so we're not going to complain. Dolls can be purchased at any good Walmart near you.
Gandalf here. The author and I have come to a truce over who will have control of the story. To cut a story short he simply cut off my arms and legs so I'm going to be a bit preoccupied with healing and all so I thought I'd let him do it for just a little while. To everyone who did like me I ask for only one thing. VENGEMCE. KILL HIM. KILL HIM NO- *smack* Ow. Sorry, Master.
Disclaimer: To tell the truth I'm not really sure who I own and who owns me so let's just settle that I own that can of Pepsi Max that's been in the fridge for the last two years.
A/N: Finally. My turn to talk. Nothing to say really. Oh yeah, decided since that plot had changed that maybe the story should too. Pretty much the same as Aragorn Beatings but with Figwit in the title. Hope you like it.
It was a cold, windy day in the forest of the three queens and the three huddled around the little fire. The Care Bear Queen cried for the loss of her beloved Care Bears while Typo cooked some rats up and Figwit perfumed his hair.
'Shouldn't you be fixing your arrows first?' asked Typo with a frown.
'Hello,' said Figwit as he tapped her on the head 'You know I can't shoot straight with messy or smelly hair.'
Just then they heard a sound in the distance.
'I've come back,' it was the last surviving Aragorn who had decided to latch on to them 'and I have good news.
'Really,' said the Care Bear Queen who was hoping for anything good ' what is it?' 'A friend,' he said with a goofy smile.
They looked past him and saw a strange creature ambling towards them. Looking closed they saw it was only Boromir and Faramir still stuck together on the arrows.
'A pet,' cried the Care Bear Queen ' I will call you Mir'. She began to stroke their heads.
'Scary,' said Typo. She turned to Aragorn. 'Good boy,' she said and promptly slapped him upside the head.
'What was that for?' he demanded?
'Seemed like the thing to do at the time,' she answered.
'Okay everybody,' said Figwit 'It's time to make a plan.
Everybody gathered round.
Plan issued next chapter.
Hello, hello, hello. Welcome to the continuation story to Aragorn beatings. We here at Aragorn Beatings Inc are here to reassure you that though the plot was last around chapter 7 of the first story that there will still be many incidents where an Aragorn will be maimed, beaten, cut, smooshed, eaten, poked, clobbered, crunched, smacked, smited, tripped, tortured, executed and manhandled so don't worry if that's what your reading for. Enjoy.
Hi there. We here at the Legolas tug-o war factory are here to reassure you that at any particular time when it appeared that the elf was being hurt it was actually one of our Legolas tug-o-war dolls, valued $19.95. This was because he refused to let himself be damaged in any way (PUSSY. Seamoose). But this did allow us to make lots of money so we're not going to complain. Dolls can be purchased at any good Walmart near you.
Gandalf here. The author and I have come to a truce over who will have control of the story. To cut a story short he simply cut off my arms and legs so I'm going to be a bit preoccupied with healing and all so I thought I'd let him do it for just a little while. To everyone who did like me I ask for only one thing. VENGEMCE. KILL HIM. KILL HIM NO- *smack* Ow. Sorry, Master.
Disclaimer: To tell the truth I'm not really sure who I own and who owns me so let's just settle that I own that can of Pepsi Max that's been in the fridge for the last two years.
A/N: Finally. My turn to talk. Nothing to say really. Oh yeah, decided since that plot had changed that maybe the story should too. Pretty much the same as Aragorn Beatings but with Figwit in the title. Hope you like it.
It was a cold, windy day in the forest of the three queens and the three huddled around the little fire. The Care Bear Queen cried for the loss of her beloved Care Bears while Typo cooked some rats up and Figwit perfumed his hair.
'Shouldn't you be fixing your arrows first?' asked Typo with a frown.
'Hello,' said Figwit as he tapped her on the head 'You know I can't shoot straight with messy or smelly hair.'
Just then they heard a sound in the distance.
'I've come back,' it was the last surviving Aragorn who had decided to latch on to them 'and I have good news.
'Really,' said the Care Bear Queen who was hoping for anything good ' what is it?' 'A friend,' he said with a goofy smile.
They looked past him and saw a strange creature ambling towards them. Looking closed they saw it was only Boromir and Faramir still stuck together on the arrows.
'A pet,' cried the Care Bear Queen ' I will call you Mir'. She began to stroke their heads.
'Scary,' said Typo. She turned to Aragorn. 'Good boy,' she said and promptly slapped him upside the head.
'What was that for?' he demanded?
'Seemed like the thing to do at the time,' she answered.
'Okay everybody,' said Figwit 'It's time to make a plan.
Everybody gathered round.
Plan issued next chapter.