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The Slytherin
common had been turned into a make-shift theatre. A few long tables were
pushed together to make a stage with a stack of books serving as its
staircase. The room's chairs were original placed in a semicircle around the
stage to give the place the feel of a thrust theatre. Sadly, as spectators
came in, they moved the chairs to places that suited them.
Severa scowled when she saw what the other Slyths did to her hard work, but
flashed the biggest, cheesiest, quiz-show-host, smile as she jumped up on the
tabletops. Her emcee costume consisted of a silly derby placed crooked on her
head, and a cane she twirled. Sev banged the cane on the "stage" to
quiet the spectators. "Mon Heir, madam and monsieurs, ladies unt
gentlemen, Welcome to The Twelfth Annual Slytherin Talent Show!"
"Get off the stage!" shouted a boy in the back. "Booo! You
suck, Rimmer!"
"Shut up, Malfoy!" Severa shouted back. "You're just upset
because you weren't allowed to participate and show off your only talent. But
believe me when I say that no one here wishes to watch you wank on
stage."
A collective "Oooh" came from the rest of the Slyths. Severa cocked
an eyebrow and smirked. Draco mumbled something, but frankly everyone stopped
paying attention to him.
"Our fist young talent," Severa continued, "is Blaise, or
should I say 'Blaze', Zambini and her batons from hell!"
Severa hopped off the stage as Blaise marched on with flaming batons. She
turned, flipped, and caught them every time. Her routine was going really
well. Severa glanced over at the doorway and spotted her reluctant ghost
trying to look inconspicuous. She smiled and walked over to him.
"I can't believe this being allowed," Wilton gaped, "she could
drop one and ruin everything!"
"Glad you made it," Severa responded.
"Well," He said, still following Blaise's batons with concern,
"you can be very manipulative when you have your mind set."
Severa smiled. "A talent shared by all Slytherin." She noticed
Blaise's routine coming to an end, as the girl blew out her batons and bowed
to the cheering crowd. "Must go!" Severa applauded as she came back
on stage and Blaise left. "Thank you Miss Zambini!"
The next routine was a slapstick comedy act by Crabbe and Goyle. Well, at
least everyone assumed it was a comedy act, because basically it wasn't all
that funny. If they wanted to see two big dumb guys slap each other around
they just have to piss off a couple Hufflepuffs. Of course one smart ass
decided to show case his wonderful ability to play the kazoo through his
nose. Thankfully the one following that was a real musician. Arwynna, a sixth
year, played a beautiful violin piece.
Severa announced the next performance with pride. "Now we will sample
the delights offered by our song bird, Iphigenia Lister!"
Iphi came out in a periwinkle gown, with a slit up the left leg. Some one in
the crowd was cat calling her. She glared into the audience to find that the
person doing it was Severa herself. "Woo Hoo! Take it off, baby!"
Iphi sighed and shook her head. "I would like to dedicate this song to
all the princes in this world who are not pretty boys! More like the
brooding ones in gothic castles. Like a certain some one I know...." She
got all dreamy. Everyone looked at each other. Severa giggled, knowing that
even though Iph has a boyfriend, she wasn't over Snape.
"Get on with it!" Some one shouted, taking Iphi out of her daze.
"Sorry." She took a deep breath and sung in her sultry alto:
Some day my prince will come
Some day we'll meet again
And away to his castle we'll go
To be happy forever I know
Some day when spring is here
We'll find our love anew
And the birds will sing
And wedding bells will ring
Some day when my dreams come true"
She ended the song and looked at the crowd. Some actually had tears in their
eye, the rest looked as if they wanted to gag. Iphi bowed low, and Sev raised
an eyebrow as her friend showed a little too much cleavage.
The last act of the day was another Slytherin sixth year, Rhi, reciting an
odd poem she wrote. That done, Severa hopped up on the tables for the last
time that night, her red notebook in tow. Iphi raised an eyebrow. It was THE
Red Notebook. The notebook Severa secretly scribbled in. Every time Iphi
would inquire after its contents Sev would just smile and say, "It's a
surprise." The notebook Severa was opening on stage.
"For our finale, the emcee would like to show off her talent. I have
here a song I wrote for my dearest friend, and best roommate anyone could
have for seven years." Iphi groaned. It may sound touching, but knowing
the blonde, Severa was about to embarrass the hell out of her. Severa cleared
her throat. "Ladies and gentlemen you are about to witness the world
premiere of my song, set to the tune of 'Blue Moon', 'Red Moon':
Red moon
You saw me standing alone
Without my bamboon heart
Without Sir Derek as my own
Red Moon
You know just what I was there for
You heard me speaking Latin for
Someone who couldn't understand me
And then the Orangutans appeared before me
They were rabid and tried to control my mind
I heard Severa say, 'You are crazy'
And when I looked, the moon was my behind!
Red Moon
Now I'm no longer a Prep
With Snape in my heart
With my ferret I named Steve!"
Severa finished to a gale of laughter. Even Iphi had to laugh at the nonsense
created at her expense. Severa sat down on the tabletops and watched the
Slytherins scatter now that the show was over. Iphi sat next her as the
blonde took off her derby and hung it on her cane. Looking towards the door,
she frowned noticing the Quirell had already made himself scarce.
"Bravo ladies," said a familiar baritone from the shadows of the
doorway. The two girls jumped and turned wide-eyed to see their head of house
emerge from said shadows. "Especially that last song. It was
truly...inspired, Miss Rimmer."
Iphi went bright scarlet and ran up the stairs to her dorm. Severa turned to
Snape with a rueful smile. "Uh, sir, didn't think you'd come."
"Nonsense, I take interest in my students' extra curricular activities.
But seeing what yours and Miss Lister's are, I think I need to assign more
homework."
Severa's eyes widened. She had every mind to call him a heartless bastard
right there, but instead she stood. 'If you would excuse me, sir, I better go
make sure Iphi hasn't passed out from hyperventilating." With that she
ran up to meet her friend.
Luckily, Iphi had not passed out. She was just sitting on her bed, face in
her hands. "I can't believe that. I cannot believe he was there the
entire time you sung that ridiculous song!"
"Well," Severa scoffed, hands on her hips, "no more ridiculous
than that piece of sap you belted out!"
"Oh God, I won't be able to look him in the eye again."
Severa laughed. "Yeah, as if it's his eyes you're always staring
at."
"Ugh!" Iphi threw a pillow at Sev, "Don't be gross!"
Their embarrassment forgotten, the two eighteen-year-olds had another fight
to the death with their pillows.
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