Disclaimer: More pretainings to Normandie M's "Redemption", in fact this contains spoilers for it. So if you haven't read it and plan to, do that first.
So, these characters belong to Normandie: Varina, Julius, Atticus, Gregori, Seraphim and Mephistopholes. Draco speaking Latin is from the mind of Normandie as well. Iphi speaking Latin, well she does. Right then.

~*~*~*~*~

Iphi woke to a quiet dorm room the first day of the Easter Holidays. She had to admit that she was jealous of Severa. Sev was invited to attend Professor Sinistra's wedding at Snape Manor.
Snape Manor! That lucky little bitch was going to be able to spend a week at Snape's home. "Don't worry," Sev had said as she packed, "I'll send you an owl every chance I get with detailed maps of the place and specific instructions on how to get into his bedroom. That'll be easy. The hard part is getting into his bed!" Sev chuckled and snapped her chest shut. Iphi had rolled her eyes, no doubt in her mind Sev would at least try.

Now Iphi wondered what she was going to do with herself. That was an easy one, she realised. She'd be doing something with Lee. She got dressed and rushed off to breakfast. Since there were few students left over the holiday, interhouse dining was more lenient. She found Lee there, sitting by himself. Good, no twin fireflies around. She slid in next to him. "Hi," she grinned.

"Hi!" He said through a mouthful of toast.

"So," she asked, still grinning, "What's your plans for the day?"

Lee shrugged. "Dunne. I think Greed and Forge said something about doing more snooping since so many teachers are gone for Professor Sinistra's wedding."

"Oh" Iphi said sullenly.

"But," Lee continued, "I'm not always up to their pranks...I mean if you had something in mind..."

Iphi shrugged nonchalantly. "Oh, I was just thinking I ought to spend some time in the library, get a couple of books to occupy me. I like spending time in the library, don't you?"

"Nah, I'm not much of a reader."

Iphi growled in frustration. "You know Lee," she said pointedly, "my favourite places to read are those nice quiet corners where no one disturbs you."

Finally Lee's eyes widened slightly with understanding, but before he could speak two of those disturbances that could be avoided in the dark corners of the library sat down at the table; one next to Iphi, one next to Lee.

"Good morrow Turtle-Doves," George said, grabbing a croissant.

"And how's are favourite couple we love to hate?" Fred added.

Iphi glowered and silently wished she could hex them both without getting into trouble. Lee just smiled at them and shrugged. "You know, coupley things: trading love letters, holding hands under the table, talking in silly cooing fashion."

The twin's faces twisted in disgust. Iphi sighed wishing her and Lee were doing those things. She smiled fantasizing about getting a surprise box of chocolates with a little card attached. Iphi sighed again. Then George changed the subject.

"So, I hear your pal's gone to Sinistra's wedding."

"Percy's going," Fred continued, "I warned him about a certain blonde who has a certain blood thirst for red-heads." He waved his left hand revealing the thin pale line of scar tissue on his palm. Iphi was slightly shocked. She didn't realise that Severa's knife had completely gone through his hand. Ouch. The sympathy was fleeting as she tried to ignore the rest of their jibes.

George shook his head. "You know, Snape must really be bonkers letting Rimmer stay at his place for a week. She no doubt will do her damnedest to answer the eternal question: Boxers or Briefs?"

Iphi couldn't help herself. She laughed out loud. She had no doubts indeed Severa would be snooping through Snape's bureau to find out exactly that. Lee and the twins though were staring at her. Never before had Iphigenia laughed at anything Fred or George ever said. She caught her breath and noticed their looks. "What?"

Fred leaned back and laced his fingers together behind his head. "You know, if Severa ever wondered that about me, I'd be more than happy to show her."

Iphi narrowed her eyes. "What's that suggesting?"

"I think," George intervened, "it means that my dear brother would enjoy any reason to take his trousers off, sometimes he doesn't need a reason!"

They all laughed.

After breakfast, Iphi and Lee were walking to the library while the twins ran off to make mischief. "I'm glad they finally warmed to you," Lee was saying.

"The Weasley twins? I hardly think so," Iphi snorted.

"Really. They're joking around with you and all. And I think Fred may fancy your friend."

That made Iphi really laugh. "Need I remind you that Fred's hand was purposely impaled by the girl you claim he fancies?"

Lee shrugged. "Don't ask me to figure how the mind or heart of a Weasley works. He's stopped complaining all together about having to sit next her in class."

"That's because they've learnt to ignore each other."

Lee shrugged again. "Maybe." They were at the library doors, and Lee graciously opened one for Iphi. "My Lady."

Iphi giggled. "I wonder if Madame Pince has any idea that she's running the primo make-out spot in Hogwarts."

That night, Iphi got her first letter from Severa.

Dear Iphi,
What a day! My God, Snape's place is gigantic, gorgeous, and so Goth! (ooh, I'm alliterative). I got to meet some of Snape's family as well. Let's see, he has an older sister, Varina. She's very elegant and matronly. She has a son, Atticus. Darling little boy, clever as a button and cute as one, too. He'd be coming to Hogwarts next year. There's also Snape's uncle, Gregori. Kinda creepy, he seems to be a bit of a seer type.

Well, my room is HUGE. I think ten people could fit in my bed. It's fabulous. Though I have a sneaking suspicion that he put me in the bedroom furthest away from his.

And OOH! He has kitties! Yes, Professor Severus Snape: Cat Owner. There's a white one named Seraphim (which I may add seemed to take a liking to me) and a black one named Mephistopheles. Oh, they're so cute! Though Snape looked slightly disturbed one I referred to them as such.

Well better be off, It's investigation time. Hmm..I'd suspect Snape locked and put a couple spells on his door to keep me out. But I wasn't put into Slytherin for nothing; I'll find a way.

-Sevvie

"Boxers or briefs," Iphi mumbled to herself.

Spending quality time with her boyfriend was great, but sometimes Iphi appreciated having some time apart. Lee made plans with the Twins for the day, which gave Iphi time to actually check out a couple books from the Library. She was just on her way back, carrying her Runes textbook and a nicely sized one about Architecture in ancient Greece when she ran into her Runes teacher, one Professor Healthy.

Her relationship with Healthy was certainly an interesting one to say the least. She had the feeling that during class, he was actually flirting with her. Of course, Iphi responded in the way that any self-respecting young lady would: She flirted right back. It was very subtle, playful, and something Iphi never told Severa about. She could just imagine the remarks the blonde would make at her expense. Not that Healthy had anything on Snape in the looks and brooding department (which she loved), she would always ogle Snape for as long as she could, Healthy was just for fun, if not a little pervy.

"Well hello, Iphigenia," Healthy smiled.

"Professor," Iphi smiled right back.

Healthy noticed her books. "Keeping up with your studies? Good girl." Iphi actually felt a slight blush come on. He took her Rune textbook from her and started flipping through it. "I suppose you wouldn't mind a little pop quiz to make sure you're keeping well oiled."

Iphi shook her head to say that she didn't mind a little test at all. He handed the book back to her, page opened to a poem. "You want me to translate it?"

"No, just read it, make sure you remember your pronunciation and all that."

"Okay." Iphi knitted her brow, read the poem a bit slowly but surely. She finished the last line and looked up at him. He was smiling.

"That was absolutely perfect. I'm very satisfied with your work." And with that he continued on his way.

It wasn't till later that day Iphi thought about the poem again. She went through the words she read aloud in her mind and pieced together the translation... It was some sort of erotic love poem! If anyone was paying attention to her in common room. they would have seen her mouth drop open and her eyes wide with disbelief and horror.

She didn't have that much time to dwell on it though. It was then that she got her next letter from Severa.

Dearest Iphi, (map enclosed)

Ha ha! I did it! I ventured forth into the forbidden realm of Snape's bedchamber (enemies of the heir truly beware with this one). Well, just as I expected it was heavily locked. But I had an idea: His bedroom windows! While everyone else was inside, I snuck out and counted the windows and balconies to figure out which one was Snape's. Using a simple self-levitation spell, I got myself up on the balcony. The windows were locked, but nothing a little Alohomora couldn't solve. Seriously, with a hormone-ridden, madly in love, teenage girl on the premises, you'd think his security would have been a little tighter. So much for that.

Well, the included map gives you the basic layout of his room (if you can interpret my shoddy drawing abilities). There's his bed, a side table or two, and a couple gargoyle statues. I'm pretty sure that door to the north has to be the bathroom, but I think I shall save that for another day. The furniture is made of some sort of dark wood, mahogany maybe? Surprised me really. I suspected everything was going to be marble or some sort of cold stone. It fits his personality more. His bed must be able to fit 15 people compared to my 10. The sheets are black, looks very comfy. Almost had half a mid to curl up on it and just take in his scent for a moment, but then I figured I'd might accidentally fall asleep there and wouldn't that be an awkward situation? Hmm...wish I brought my camera, but that'd be almost a little too stalkerish wouldn't it?

Missing you,
Severa

P.S. boxers, black, silk

Iphi was bored. She started thinking that maybe her and Lee were spending too much time out of each other's company. Just one of the troubles of dating outside one's house she supposed. All things considered, given her choices within Slytherin, she was better off with a guy from another house. She glanced around the common room, looking at the male Slyths. Not the most attractive bunch, nor the most attentive of boyfriends she had come to learn. She also had a feeling a good few of them may have been gay. She couldn't help but laugh since that last thought crossed her mind just as her survey took her to the corner where Draco was.

Draco was looking suspicious. Well, when didn't her look like that? He suddenly glanced up and spotted Iphi looking in his direction. He scowled at her and went back to talking to Crabbe and Goyle. Well, looked like Iphi found her entertainment: Bugging Malfoy.

She waltzed right over to the little group and smiled at him. "Salve puer molestus."

Draco glared at her and responded harshly, "Discede."

Iphi tutted. "So rude to your own housemate. What you up to?"

"None of your business."

Iphi smirked and decided to address Draco's minions, "Salvete." Crabbe and Goyle looked up at her confused. Iphi laughed. "See you haven't bothered teaching the staff the mother tongue. Such a shame really, that the only Latin most wizards know is the little spells taught in class, and never bother to study it further."

"Yes, a shame. But clearly, you still don't understand it. Discede."

Iphi sighed. "Very well. Valete." Iphi walked away a little happier knowing she bothered the bugger. She was even in a better mood when an owl flew in and dropped another letter from Severa into her hands.

Iphi,

Gah! one more day till the wedding! Rehearsal was tonight. Finally got to meet Sinistra's betrothed, Julius (gag gag). Lord what a jerk. It's so sad watching Wilton. He's so blue looking all the time (though I suppose "clear" would be more accurate. ha ha hee). I mean, it must be torture for him! I know I'd be all tears and broken heart if I was sitting around waiting around for the one I loved getting married to some one other than me. If I was at Snape's wedding, and the guy goes "If any one here has any reason for these two to not be joined blah blah blah" I'd stand up on my seat and yell, "I LOVE HIM!" or to really put things to halt I'd shout, "I'M HAVING HIS BABY!!". Hmm, wonder if I should do something like that for Wilton's sake. Wish there was something I could do to make him feel better (no dirty thoughts, you).

Oh, there was a karaoke machine! The Vicar brought it (strange guy). Had a jolly time going up there and singing "On My Own" from Les Miserables hoping that it would in some way move Snape. No such luck. Damn.

Can't find my notebook. Better go look for it. See you soon!

Love,
Sevvie

Iphi knew she was alienating herself from the other Slyths by spending time with three notorious Gryffindors (though two of them were hardly by choice). She really didn't care. Besides, it was so fun getting her housemates ticked-off.

"I've heard from Percy," George was saying at lunch, outside on a nice spring day.

"What?" Fred's eyes widened in mock surprise. "You mean a certain young lady, who shall not be named out of respect for current company, hasn't given into her primal urges and stabbed him in the heart?"

Iphi shrugged. "Well, I suppose not. I'd know because if she has gone on a stabbing spree she would have bragged about it in one her letters."

"God, she's twisted," George muttered.

Fred was looking at his scarred hand again with...well, Iphi wasn't sire how to interpret his expression. George noticed it too but just rolled his eyes. Iphi then raised a quizzical eyebrow at Lee. He just scratched his locks and gave her a 'told-you-so' look. Iphi shook her head, not willing to believe that Fred was now pining after the girl he gladly refers to as "Psycho", "Sadistic" and other adjectives of the sort.

Iphi got up and headed back to the castle with a quick kiss with Lee and a couple "Ewes" from the twins. She wanted to read more on that book about Grecian architecture. She was just entering the building when she heard other footfalls on the flagstones behind her. She turned, it was Fred, a little flushed face from trying to catch up to her. "Hi," he said.

"Yeas?"

"Um, I was wondering if I could talk to you alone."

"Kooky." Iphi said her words slowly as her mind raced trying to figure out exactly what he had to talk to her about in private.

"So," he started, "you've been hearing from your friend, eh?"

"Yes, she's been writing. And like I said, no mentions of stabbings."

"Oh, no, I. that's just joking around you knows? So, she must be having fun, getting to run around Snape's place."

Iphi nodded. "Seems to be."

"You know," Fred said, rubbing his neck nervously, "this whole Snape thing with her...it's just a bit a fun, right? She can't seriously be in love with him or anything, right? I mean you used to be all into him and now you're dating Lee."

Iphi's eyes widened in horror. Oh damn, Lee was right. "Well you know Fred, Sevvie and I are very different people. I mean, where I can appreciate guys of all ages, she really seems to be more into the older crew."

"So, uh, you really don't think that I, I mean she would..."

Iphi for once felt really sorry for him. "Sorry, Fred, I don't think so. But I can't really speak for her, nor can I guarantee that if you had this conversation with her that you'd walk away unscathed." Fred nodded and turned to sulk away. "Wait."

Fred turned. "What?"

"Can I ask why?"

"Why what?"

Iphi closed her eyes, thinking the question was obvious. "Why you're mooning over the girl that stabbed you and was less than willing to even apologise. Last I checked you hated each other."

Fred thought about for a second. "Well, she's different, ain't she? I mean rather atypical. I really like that. She has a sense of humour, she's smart, no matter how twisted it all is."

"Fred, nothing about her is as twisted as this conversation I'm having right now."

"Right, you're right. Listen, can you do me a favour and don't tell her I said any of this."

She sighed. "Okay Fred. I wouldn't want Sev to die form a heart attack or anything."

Fred smiled ruefully. "Or dying from laughter." And Fred finally went back to join his brother outside.

Iphi let out a long breath. "Wow," was all she managed to make of the situation as she watched the tall redhead walk away.

She still pondered the conversation; still not sure it actually happened, when she reached the common room door. She was just about to say the password when the door came open and out stepped Draco Malfoy. The two scowled at each other, and Iphi gave him a rude gesture behind his back as she stepped to go in.

Up in her room, she found another letter from Severa waiting for her:

OH MY GOD! Oh, hi Iphi, how's it going? but OH MY GOD! You will not believe what has happened at the wedding. Sinistra said the wrong name! Will! She said Will! Not Julius, Will! as in Wilton Quirrell! The whole assembly was in confusion and shock. But believe me Iphi, I couldn't be happier. Okay, maybe if Snape took in all the love and declared his undying devotion for me I would be happier. Oh well, I'm happy for Will and Sinistra anyway. Oh isn't it wonderful? It ends Happily Ever After after all! ergh...tell anyone I just said that and I will hunt you down.... But isn't it exciting? Oh, it's too much to tell in one letter. I'll tell you all about it when I get back!

Always,
Severa

P.S. Found my notebook. Well, actually, Snape found it... in his bedroom. Luckily, recent events deterred his mind from being angry with me. Plus, remind me to stop writing "Property of Mrs Severa Rimmer-Snape" on cover of my notebooks for it's a dead give away.

Iphigenia fell over laughing. Well, from that last part. The rest of it was a little surprising. Seemed like something out of a bad muggle sitcom. Iphi had no doubt she'd hear the whole account once Sevvie got back. If there was one thing Sev knew how to do, it was talk. Figured she had to get in as much reading she could before jabber-jaw got back.