"Yamato, may I ask you some questions?" There. She had asked him.
She turned her head slightly looking away form the seemingly endless murky
water to get a better look at her blonde companion. His face gave no sign
if he had heard her or not. He just sat there, knees drawn close to his
chest, his chin resting on his knees and gazing silently out of the cave
into the twilight. She decided to wait patiently for his answer but when he
just kept starring at the sea she began to grow anxious.
Hadn't he heard her question or was he just ignoring her? She knew how stubborn he could be but now he began to frighten her. He could at least tell her to shut up! Yes, she even wished he would shout at her and tell her how stupid she had been. Everything would have been better than this horrible silence. Why didn't he answer her? Why wouldn't he talk to her?
"What do you want to know?"
Hikari was on the verge of tears and his soft voice and those gentle words, almost whispered, had startled her. She had no idea. What did she want to know? She closed her eyes for a moment trying to concentrate and compose herself before she spoke again:
"Why are you here?"
She watched him from the side as she waited for her answer. He was still watching the ocean but now she knew he was thinking about the question and she would wait until he was ready to talk. After a few more moments he spoke again without ever looking at her. Again his words were very gentle and barely above a whisper:
"It was my decision."
The young girl just starred at him confusion clearly visible in her eyes. How could this be his decision? Nobody had ever asked her if she wanted to be here but now she had ended up in this strange world once again without knowing why or how she could get back home again.
"Does that mean you are here because you wished to be here?"
A small smile came to his lips but was gone again immediately.
"Yes, I'm here on free will. Perhaps you don't realize it but you came to this place willingly as well."
The confusion slowly gave way to anger as she sat there listening to this nonsense and watching him smile. How could he believe that she wanted to be here? Before she had met him she had been lost, afraid and without hope of ever getting home again. She had never asked for being taken to this ocean. This was certainly not what she had wanted.
"You can't be serious! Do you really think I want to be here? I hate this place! Every time I end I up here it's not because I want it. It just happens."
Now the small smile had returned to his lips and this time it stayed there: "Are you sure?"
The question was simple but Hikari found herself unable to answer. She wanted to shout into his face that she hadn't been so sure of anything else ever before but she just couldn't. In fact she was no longer sure at all. She wondered how he could so easily break through her stubborn shell of anger and make her think again. His questions and answers were so simple but they forced her to think straight again. Was it really her decision to be here? Did she instinctively enter the Dark Ocean on free will?
Yamato had been watching her with interest. He could clearly see that his questions had obviously set some thoughts in motion. He waited a few seconds before he decided to give her something else to think about:
"Didn't you know that the Dark Ocean can only take you if you allow it to do so? Without your permission, consciously or unconsciously, it wouldn't be able to bring you to this place."
She didn't look at him but instead she let her eyes wander over the darkening landscape and sea outside of the cave. He knew she had heard him even without giving any sign of acknowledgment. He would let her think everything over and wait until she was ready to speak about why she was here. Furthermore he had a few things on his mind he wanted to think over as well.
"It's getting late and I think we should try to get some sleep. Tomorrow we can talk some more if you want. Ok?"
Hikari only nodded before she got up and walked a little deeper into the cave. Yamato got up as well and followed he. He put some more dry twigs into the fire before he stretched out next to it. He closed his deep blue eyes and waited for sleep to take over. The wind was howling outside but he could clearly hear the soft rustling at his side. Hikari had curled up in a ball and was now lying next to him pressing gently against his body. He kept his eyes shut but allowed a small smile to come to his lips as he carefully stroke her soft brow hair with one hand while slowly falling asleep.
***
When Hikari woke up the next day the small fire had already gone out a long time ago. The sky outside was still clouded and the sun was hidden behind this thick blanket but according to the almost bright grey sky it seemed to be already past noon. She decided to get up and look for Yamato who was nowhere to be seen. It was then that she noticed the black pullover being wrapped around her body. She wondered. Did he leave without it just to keep her warm? Obviously. But why? She would have to ask him about it later.
She got up and put the pullover on. It was way to big for her just as she had expected but it felt good anyway. It even smelled like him. Smiling slightly she stepped out of the cave and immediately the cold sea breeze filled her lungs. She looked around in search of the young blonde and soon spotted a familiar figure sitting on the otherwise deserted beach with his back leaning against a small rock. He was staring out to the sea and didn't look up when he heard her approaching him from behind.
She let herself slide down against the cold rock sitting right next to him. They remained in that position for quite some time without saying a word. Again it was Hikari who finally broke the spell.
"Why are you here?"
He turned his head to look at her curiously for a moment before he spoke:
"I thought I already told you."
He really had told her but obviously the younger girl was not satisfied with his answer.
"No, you did not. You just told me that you are here on free will but you never gave me the reason why you would want to be here in this forsaken world. So, why are you here?"
His eyes were wandering back to the water again and he seemed to be deep in thought as he tried to find a proper answer to her question. Sure, he had been avoiding the topic the last night but he had a rather good reason to do so. How could he tell her that he had let her brother down just when he would have needed him the most? How could he tell her that it was entirely his fault? Of course she would hate him if he told her the truth but he couldn't lie to her either. There really was no use denying it any longer. He had to face his guilt and she deserved to know the truth about her brother's death.
"Do you know the reason why your brother died?"
"No, they didn't tell me what had happened. I guess they think I wouldn't be able to handle it."
It was so clearly visible in her face how much it hurt her to talk about her dead brother. He could see the pain in her soft and beautiful eyes but he had to tell her.
"I really hope they were wrong because the truth is that I am the reason for Taichi's death."
Once she had realized what he had just told her she could only stare at him in shock. Her eyes were wide open and all colour seemed to have been drawn from her face leaving her ghostly pale. She wanted to say something but the words just wouldn't leave her mouth so Yamato continued.
"Now I know that it was wrong to keep my mouth shut but I had given him my word. I guess you are always wiser afterwards. I have failed him and the rest of you. After all he had been my best friend and I was supposed to be there for him whenever he needed help. Obviously I wasn't or else he wouldn't be dead now. I made a mistake and now I'll have to pay for the rest of my life."
"What are you talking about? Yamato, please tell me. What does that mean?"
He was avoiding her eyes now. He couldn't face her so he just kept watching the small waves. But he could feel her pleading eyes on him, waiting to finally hear the truth about her brother's death and in his opinion she deserved to know what had caused the tragedy.
"As I told you it was entirely my fault that your brother had to die. As I know now I had been the only one he had told about those problems, which finally were his downfall. He had opened up to me and he had trusted me. He told me things no one else knew and I gave him my word that I would never talk to anybody else about it. I had a bad feeling about it. Almost like some kind of dark premonition But I thought we would make it together.
Well I guess I was wrong. It was arrogant and foolish of me to think that my help and friendship would be enough. He was addicted and he told me about it. He was desperately looking for help but yet too afraid to talk to anyone but me."
"Addicted? To what?" Tears where now threatening to fall from her eyes.
"Drugs. He never told me what exactly he was doing but in the end it killed him."
"But why?"
"He was an addicted. I suppose he really couldn't help it. But that's not what you wanted to hear, right? We once talked about it and he finally confessed that he mainly needed it to keep up his image. He felt as if the whole world was on his shoulders. It was hard for him to live up to the expectations of the people around him, he told me. It almost seemed like he was afraid of disappointing everybody.
Hell, I don't even know for how long his happy and carefree appearance was just faked! He fooled us and we didn't even see it coming!"
He had smashed his fist into the cool, grey sand. The tiny but sharp edged grains of sand bit into his skin like thousands of little razor blades but the anger which had built up inside him so suddenly was fading away already and guilt now filled the emptiness he felt inside.
It was his fault after all. But now she knew the truth. She would hate him now of course. How could she not? If he hadn't been so arrogant to think his help would be enough for Taichi to get over it his friend would probably still be alive. He had taken one of the most precious things in her life form her and would never be able to bring him back.
He let himself fall to the side into the sand curling up in a ball and letting the silent tears run down his face. He deserved to be left alone in this empty world but he would never have expected nor, at least in his opinion, deserved what happened next.
Hikari drew closer and cradled his head in her lap.
"Thank you," she whispered while running her fingers trough his silky golden hair.
***
I really got reviews!? I really didn't expect that. Thanks to all who reviewed! I'm currently thinking about a Taiora side story but I'm not really sure if I'm really going to write it. There is still a little more to come but it may take some time. School is keeping me busy.
Hadn't he heard her question or was he just ignoring her? She knew how stubborn he could be but now he began to frighten her. He could at least tell her to shut up! Yes, she even wished he would shout at her and tell her how stupid she had been. Everything would have been better than this horrible silence. Why didn't he answer her? Why wouldn't he talk to her?
"What do you want to know?"
Hikari was on the verge of tears and his soft voice and those gentle words, almost whispered, had startled her. She had no idea. What did she want to know? She closed her eyes for a moment trying to concentrate and compose herself before she spoke again:
"Why are you here?"
She watched him from the side as she waited for her answer. He was still watching the ocean but now she knew he was thinking about the question and she would wait until he was ready to talk. After a few more moments he spoke again without ever looking at her. Again his words were very gentle and barely above a whisper:
"It was my decision."
The young girl just starred at him confusion clearly visible in her eyes. How could this be his decision? Nobody had ever asked her if she wanted to be here but now she had ended up in this strange world once again without knowing why or how she could get back home again.
"Does that mean you are here because you wished to be here?"
A small smile came to his lips but was gone again immediately.
"Yes, I'm here on free will. Perhaps you don't realize it but you came to this place willingly as well."
The confusion slowly gave way to anger as she sat there listening to this nonsense and watching him smile. How could he believe that she wanted to be here? Before she had met him she had been lost, afraid and without hope of ever getting home again. She had never asked for being taken to this ocean. This was certainly not what she had wanted.
"You can't be serious! Do you really think I want to be here? I hate this place! Every time I end I up here it's not because I want it. It just happens."
Now the small smile had returned to his lips and this time it stayed there: "Are you sure?"
The question was simple but Hikari found herself unable to answer. She wanted to shout into his face that she hadn't been so sure of anything else ever before but she just couldn't. In fact she was no longer sure at all. She wondered how he could so easily break through her stubborn shell of anger and make her think again. His questions and answers were so simple but they forced her to think straight again. Was it really her decision to be here? Did she instinctively enter the Dark Ocean on free will?
Yamato had been watching her with interest. He could clearly see that his questions had obviously set some thoughts in motion. He waited a few seconds before he decided to give her something else to think about:
"Didn't you know that the Dark Ocean can only take you if you allow it to do so? Without your permission, consciously or unconsciously, it wouldn't be able to bring you to this place."
She didn't look at him but instead she let her eyes wander over the darkening landscape and sea outside of the cave. He knew she had heard him even without giving any sign of acknowledgment. He would let her think everything over and wait until she was ready to speak about why she was here. Furthermore he had a few things on his mind he wanted to think over as well.
"It's getting late and I think we should try to get some sleep. Tomorrow we can talk some more if you want. Ok?"
Hikari only nodded before she got up and walked a little deeper into the cave. Yamato got up as well and followed he. He put some more dry twigs into the fire before he stretched out next to it. He closed his deep blue eyes and waited for sleep to take over. The wind was howling outside but he could clearly hear the soft rustling at his side. Hikari had curled up in a ball and was now lying next to him pressing gently against his body. He kept his eyes shut but allowed a small smile to come to his lips as he carefully stroke her soft brow hair with one hand while slowly falling asleep.
***
When Hikari woke up the next day the small fire had already gone out a long time ago. The sky outside was still clouded and the sun was hidden behind this thick blanket but according to the almost bright grey sky it seemed to be already past noon. She decided to get up and look for Yamato who was nowhere to be seen. It was then that she noticed the black pullover being wrapped around her body. She wondered. Did he leave without it just to keep her warm? Obviously. But why? She would have to ask him about it later.
She got up and put the pullover on. It was way to big for her just as she had expected but it felt good anyway. It even smelled like him. Smiling slightly she stepped out of the cave and immediately the cold sea breeze filled her lungs. She looked around in search of the young blonde and soon spotted a familiar figure sitting on the otherwise deserted beach with his back leaning against a small rock. He was staring out to the sea and didn't look up when he heard her approaching him from behind.
She let herself slide down against the cold rock sitting right next to him. They remained in that position for quite some time without saying a word. Again it was Hikari who finally broke the spell.
"Why are you here?"
He turned his head to look at her curiously for a moment before he spoke:
"I thought I already told you."
He really had told her but obviously the younger girl was not satisfied with his answer.
"No, you did not. You just told me that you are here on free will but you never gave me the reason why you would want to be here in this forsaken world. So, why are you here?"
His eyes were wandering back to the water again and he seemed to be deep in thought as he tried to find a proper answer to her question. Sure, he had been avoiding the topic the last night but he had a rather good reason to do so. How could he tell her that he had let her brother down just when he would have needed him the most? How could he tell her that it was entirely his fault? Of course she would hate him if he told her the truth but he couldn't lie to her either. There really was no use denying it any longer. He had to face his guilt and she deserved to know the truth about her brother's death.
"Do you know the reason why your brother died?"
"No, they didn't tell me what had happened. I guess they think I wouldn't be able to handle it."
It was so clearly visible in her face how much it hurt her to talk about her dead brother. He could see the pain in her soft and beautiful eyes but he had to tell her.
"I really hope they were wrong because the truth is that I am the reason for Taichi's death."
Once she had realized what he had just told her she could only stare at him in shock. Her eyes were wide open and all colour seemed to have been drawn from her face leaving her ghostly pale. She wanted to say something but the words just wouldn't leave her mouth so Yamato continued.
"Now I know that it was wrong to keep my mouth shut but I had given him my word. I guess you are always wiser afterwards. I have failed him and the rest of you. After all he had been my best friend and I was supposed to be there for him whenever he needed help. Obviously I wasn't or else he wouldn't be dead now. I made a mistake and now I'll have to pay for the rest of my life."
"What are you talking about? Yamato, please tell me. What does that mean?"
He was avoiding her eyes now. He couldn't face her so he just kept watching the small waves. But he could feel her pleading eyes on him, waiting to finally hear the truth about her brother's death and in his opinion she deserved to know what had caused the tragedy.
"As I told you it was entirely my fault that your brother had to die. As I know now I had been the only one he had told about those problems, which finally were his downfall. He had opened up to me and he had trusted me. He told me things no one else knew and I gave him my word that I would never talk to anybody else about it. I had a bad feeling about it. Almost like some kind of dark premonition But I thought we would make it together.
Well I guess I was wrong. It was arrogant and foolish of me to think that my help and friendship would be enough. He was addicted and he told me about it. He was desperately looking for help but yet too afraid to talk to anyone but me."
"Addicted? To what?" Tears where now threatening to fall from her eyes.
"Drugs. He never told me what exactly he was doing but in the end it killed him."
"But why?"
"He was an addicted. I suppose he really couldn't help it. But that's not what you wanted to hear, right? We once talked about it and he finally confessed that he mainly needed it to keep up his image. He felt as if the whole world was on his shoulders. It was hard for him to live up to the expectations of the people around him, he told me. It almost seemed like he was afraid of disappointing everybody.
Hell, I don't even know for how long his happy and carefree appearance was just faked! He fooled us and we didn't even see it coming!"
He had smashed his fist into the cool, grey sand. The tiny but sharp edged grains of sand bit into his skin like thousands of little razor blades but the anger which had built up inside him so suddenly was fading away already and guilt now filled the emptiness he felt inside.
It was his fault after all. But now she knew the truth. She would hate him now of course. How could she not? If he hadn't been so arrogant to think his help would be enough for Taichi to get over it his friend would probably still be alive. He had taken one of the most precious things in her life form her and would never be able to bring him back.
He let himself fall to the side into the sand curling up in a ball and letting the silent tears run down his face. He deserved to be left alone in this empty world but he would never have expected nor, at least in his opinion, deserved what happened next.
Hikari drew closer and cradled his head in her lap.
"Thank you," she whispered while running her fingers trough his silky golden hair.
***
I really got reviews!? I really didn't expect that. Thanks to all who reviewed! I'm currently thinking about a Taiora side story but I'm not really sure if I'm really going to write it. There is still a little more to come but it may take some time. School is keeping me busy.