The Melodies of Life Tour
Presented by Squartz Entertainment
Fire Angel
DISCLAIMER: We all know that none of the characters here belong to me, although it's pretty damn
unfortunate that they don't! The lyrics for Vivi's song have been adapted from Aaron Carter's
'Aaron's Party (Come Get It), and written by me, myself and I.
AUTHOR'S NOTE: You're not gonna believe this, but I have nothing to say this time. Surprising,
isn't it, seeing as I usually fill up almost half a page with my babble on? Okay, I'm going to
stop now, so enjoy this chapter!
The Melodies of Life Tour
Chapter 2: Master Vivi's Party
(A single spotlight flickers on stage, to reveal a set that looks remotely like a lounge-room of
a house. Fire Angel is stretched out over the couch, watching television. After a while, she gets
up and walks to the audience, signalling to Atrocious that he should cut all lights. Everything
goes black as she introduces the next act.)
Fire Angel:
Welcome back to the Melodies of Life Tour. For those that have just joined us, I'm your host,
Fire Angel. Anyways, I think you've all probably heard this next song somewhere before; and as
annoying as it might be, it's cute when sung by the right person. So I'd like you to welcome our
next character, who's going to be singing a remake of 'Aaron's Party… Come Get It'. VIVI
ORNITIER!
(Vivi enters, wearing the same get-up as in the previous song, however, his cap is backwards now.
Zidane and Dagger follow, actually fully dressed this time, and sit down on the couch, watching
the television. Zidane has a tight grip on a leash, which is leading a chocobo onto the stage.
The chocobo stands obediently by the couch. A curtain lifts to reveal Puck on the drums and Mog
mucking around with a mixer. An assembled choir of moogles and black mages stands nearby with
Eiko.)
Vivi:
H-Here's a little song for you
And it goes a little somethin like this…
(Vivi tries to strike a 'cool dude' pose, but ends up falling flat on his face. He struggles to
his feet, his face glowing bright red, and repositions his hat. Then, looking extremely nervously
at the noisy audience, he finally begins the song.)
Vivi:
I always tried to be the coolest mage on the block
The popular one, with the rising stock
And that's when I had the best idea!
Eiko:
Throw the party of the month?
Vivi:
Nah, the party of the year!
All the cute girls couldn't turn it down
Now all I gotta do is get the oldies out!
(Vivi gestures to Zidane and Dagger as he says this. Dagger leaps up from the couch and yells,
"OLD?! I'M SIXTEEN THANKYOU VERY MUCH! I AM NOT OLD! HOW DARE YOU CALL ME OLD!"
"Dagger, calm down," Zidane hisses. "You're six years older than him. To him, you ARE old."
"Old?" she mutters disbelievingly, as she sits back down. "Imagine that. Me, old?")
Eiko:
Should you send em to a movie?
Vivi:
Nah, send em out alone!
Let me think… hmm? They've gotta be long though!
(A kinky smile spreads over Zidane's face. "Alone, huh? I like the sound of that."
The smile fades as Zidane receives a slap to the face from Dagger. "You are SO disgusting!" she
says, sticking her nose in the air.
"That's not what you were saying ten minutes ago when we were-"
"SHUT UP!" Eiko roars. "CAN'T YOU SEE VIVI'S TRYING TO SING?! YOU TWO CAN TALK ABOUT HOW YOU
ENJOY FUCKING EACH OTHER'S BRAINS OUT LATER ON!"
Everyone stares at Eiko, the 'innocent' little girl who 'doesn't know the meaning' of swearing.
Her face goes bright red, and she mutters, "Just keep quiet, alright?"
Vivi walks over to Zidane and Dagger as the song starts up again.)
Vivi:
I said, "Dagger, Zidane, yo why ya sittin home?
Why don't you go spend some time alone?
And don't worry bout stayin out too long
Don't fuss over me, I'll be fine on my own."
("Fine, if you don't want us here," Zidane mutters as he climbs onto the chocobo. "We'll go. Come
on Dagger, let's get the hell out of here and have some… fun."
"Old. I don't believe it," Dagger mutters, climbing on behind Zidane. "Oldies at sixteen."
The chocobo races offstage, screeching "KWEEEEEEHHHH!" at the top of its lungs.)
Vivi:
Have a good time!
("I'm sure they will," Eiko mutters. From where she is standing, she can see offstage, and
Zidane's already trying to woo Dagger into the bed they have offstage, for another set.
"Un.Believeable."
Meanwhile, the black mages are crowding around a makeshift door, ringing a little bell like
absolute mad. The sound is deafening, and they don't stop until Eiko screams at them to shut up.
Everyone cracks up as Vivi removes his hands from his ears and continues the song.)
Vivi:
The doorbell rings, guess the party's here
So I'm crankin' up the stereo like it's New Year
Walkin' round the house like who's the man?
Eiko:
Ain't nobody do it like Vivi can!
Vivi:
First on the floor, you know that's me
I was bustin' out the moves, but then someone tripped me!
And I guess somewhere along I lost my head
So I jumped on the table and this is what I said…
(The black mages crowd around Vivi, and for a moment it's hard to tell where he is amid that mass
of glowing yellow eyes. Then he breaks out of the crowd and leaps up onto a table, and the whole
choir screams out the chorus. Their voices together are almost as loud as Eiko was in the
previous song, but not quite. Still, the volume has to be turned down just a tad, and offstage
Zidane is yelling, "Shut up! How is it possible to get a girl turned on when you've got a bunch
of little kids screaming their brains out?" Obviously, his efforts to woo Dagger are not
currently working.)
Vivi & Choir:
People all around, ya got to
Come get it!
Everyone together, sing it loud
Come get it!
Jump all `round c'mon
Come get it!
What? Come get it!
Say it again! Come get it!
People all around, ya got to
Come get it!
From the left to the right make noise
Come get it!
Here we go now, c'mon
Come get it!
Huh? Come get it!
What? What? Come get it!
Na na na na, na na na na, na na na na
Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah
(Now, the moogles burst into the 'room', each clutching an envelope. The black mages turn and
stare at the newcomers, their yellow eyes narrowed. They start to raise their arms to cast spells
that will send the poor moogles running away with burnt butts, but Vivi holds up a hand and yells
"STOP!"
Everything stops all at once, including the music. Vivi turns and gestures to Mog and Puck, who
start up the music again. Vivi winks at the audience, and then continues the song, with 'frozen'
moogles and black mages around him.)
Vivi:
Things were goin great, then to my surprise
Some moogles walked in I didn't recognise
I said, "Moogles, yo! You gotta get out!"
(As silence follows the line, Vivi turns around and says, "Kupo, where are you? You've got the
next line, you know."
From the mob of unmoving mages and moogles, a voice says, "Kupo… you mmrph mmge aftgh, kupo kupo
kupo, mrpho!"
"I think you might have 'stopped' them, Vivi," Eiko giggles. "When you yelled 'STOP', they just
froze, and no one's moved from that point onwards."
"Oh, man!" Vivi moans. "Eiko, can you cast 'Dispel' for me?"
Eiko raises her arms and yells, "DISPEL!". Within a second, the black mages and moogles are
moving again. "It's your line, Kupo," she says to a very confused moogle.)
Kupo:
Kupo, I heard this was an open house.
Vivi:
Open house?!
Kupo:
Kupo, that's what the letter said!
Vivi:
I didn't send out letters!
Moogles:
But Stiltzkin did!
(At this moment, Kupo takes over the drums as Puck and Eiko walk into the 'room' to join the
'party'. As Vivi looks at his next line, he moans.
"Who said I've got a crush on Eiko?" he asks the sky.
"No one said," Fire Angel replies innocently. "I never mentioned a name in the lyrics…"
"No, you just wrote on our scripts that Eiko had to walk in at this particular moment," Vivi
snaps.
Even though no one can see her, everyone knows instinctively that a wicked grin has spread over
Fire Angel's face. "Would you rather have a crush on Freija?" she asks. "Or Dagger? Because I can
change it if you want. Just say the word."
"Forget it," Vivi mutters. "Just leave it alone, alright?"
"Well then keep singing," Fire Angel says, grinning widely. "I love this next bit.")
Vivi (blushing):
Then walked in the girl I'm crushin
And some kids spilt juice on Dagger's new cushions
I turned around, and Prince Puck ripped the rug
Puck:
I hope it wasn't expensive!
Vivi:
They got that at Mount Gulug!
For now I won't sweat it
I'll clean it up later
There's a honey over there
And I really wanna meet her
(The volume is turned down again as this time, the mages, the moogles, Eiko and Puck sing along
with Vivi. Actually, sing probably isn't the right word. With Eiko in the huddle this time, the
noise could probably be heard on the moon. Even Vivi is covering his ears as he yells. Meanwhile,
in the sound booth, Atrocious laughs wickedly at the unsuspecting audience as he turns the volume
up to full. Everyone in the audience can now hardly be heard, screaming in protest, as they cover
their aching ears, trying to escape the sound.)
Vivi & Choir:
PEOPLE ALL AROUND, YA GOT TO
COME GET IT!
EVERYONE TOGETHER, SING IT LOUD
COME GET IT!
JUMP ALL `ROUND C'MON
COME GET IT!
WHAT? COME GET IT!
SAY IT AGAIN, HERE WE GO, UH! COME GET IT!
(Suddenly, a hot blast of fire hits Atrocious Angel, and the volume hits an all-time low.
Atrocious writhes in agony, as Fire Angel hisses, "That's your warning, Atrocious. Do it again,
and you die."
"Sorry," Atrocious mutters sarcastically, and he's hit by another blast. "Aaaarrrrgh!"
"Thankyou!" Zidane yells. You can tell he's utterly annoyed. For some reason, Dagger isn't
succumbing to his charms this time around.
The audience cheers as the chorus continues, at a now semi-normal volume. Vivi winks thankfully
at Fire Angel, and she gives him the almighty peace sign.)
Vivi & Choir:
PEOPLE ALL AROUND, YA GOT TO
COME GET IT!
FROM THE LEFT TO THE RIGHT MAKE NOISE
COME GET IT!
HERE WE GO NOW, C'MON
COME GET IT!
HUH? COME GET IT!
WHAT? COME GET IT!
NA NA NA NA, NA NA NA NA, NA NA NA NA
YEAH YEAH YEAH
Vivi:
Break it down
(From offstage, Dagger can be heard yelling, "Zidane, we're on! No, Zidane, that doesn't mean you
can stick your tongue down my throat. No, I mean we're on STAGE! Supporting VIVI! Not on each
other, you lunatic! Look, I know you're horny for me, but it's gonna have to wait, alright?
Vivi's performance can't be wrecked because you're trying to get me to have sex with you!"
"Dammit, that is so unfair!" Zidane is heard wailing.
A few seconds later, the chocobo lets out another loud "KWEEEEEHHHHHH!")
Eiko:
Now the real trouble starts!
Vivi:
Was that a chocobo? Oh dag! I'm in trouble!
Everybody get out now, on the double!
I'm dead!
Eiko:
You're done!
Vivi:
That's it for me!
I'm gonna have to start livin on the streets
Once Ziddy finds out bout this party I had
I don't even wanna start thinkin' bout Dag!
("DAG?!" Dagger can be heard yelling. "DAG?! First it's OLDIE, now DAG?! This is INSANE!"
"Calm down," Zidane hisses. "How do you think I feel? I'm ZIDDY!"
"So what?! At least you weren't called DAG! Dag," she mutters. "First old, now dag.
Un.Believable.")
Vivi:
I'm hustlin round the house tryin to clean up the mess
I sure put my new feather boots to the test
The chocobo screeched, now they're walkin up the steps
I guess life was good, with ten seconds left…
(Dagger and Zidane walk on stage, and Dagger's face contorts with fury as she looks at the
destroyed set. The moogles, black mages, Eiko, Vivi and Puck are all standing near the couch
looking extremely guilty. Mogrich is holding a ripped cushion, which has once-elaborate designs
of Eidolons over it. Dagger bursts into tears, and Zidane puts his arm around her shoulders
gently, glaring at Vivi like he's really, really mad. Of course, this is all completely put on,
but the audience seems to think Zidane's really mad at Vivi…)
Zidane:
VIVI!
Vivi:
Grounded!
(Dagger stops crying, and everyone surrounds Vivi again [this time including Zidane and Dagger],
hoisting Vivi onto their shoulders, and yelling out the chorus.)
Vivi & Choir:
People all around, ya got to
Come get it!
Everyone together, sing it loud
Come get it!
Jump all `round c'mon
Come get it!
What? Come get it!
Say it again! Come get it!
People all around, ya got to
Come get it!
From the left to the right make noise
Come get it!
Vivi:
Master V is in the house c'mon
Choir:
Come get it!
Huh? What? What? Come get it!
(The audience starts waving their arms in the air as they join in with the 'na nas' and 'yeah
yeahs'. Zidane is trying to get Dagger off of the stage, but she keeps swatting him away.
"Why are you doing this?" he moans. "Twenty minutes ago you were so eager to have me!"
"Yeah, well now I'm not," Dagger says. "I can't really feel kinky when I've got a little kid
singing about how old I am."
"Maybe next song then, eh?" Zidane replies sexily, slipping an arm around her waist.
"Maybe," she agrees. "Just maybe.")
Vivi & Choir:
Na na na na, na na na na, na na na na
Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah
Na na na na, na na na na, na na na na
Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah
Come get it!
(The audience breaks into applause as the stage goes black. Fire Angel starts to speak, but is
cut off by a wicked laugh.
"HAAHAAHAAHAA! I AM ATROCIOUS ANGEL, AND I AM TAKING OVER THIS PERFORMANCE! I'D LIKE TO INVITE MY
GOOD FRIEND EMINEM TO SAY A FEW WORDS ON BEHALF OF…"
"SHUT UP!" Fire Angel roars. The only light that can be seen is the fire that is burning
Atrocious to death. "THIS IS NOT AN EMINEM CONCERT, IT IS THE MELODIES OF LIFE TOUR! SO GET A
LIFE AND STOP BEING SO OBSESSED WITH EMINEM, ATROCIOUS!"
"I don't think he can get a life," Vivi says timidly. "You just killed him."
"Shh!" Fire Angel whispers. "I don't want the cops onto me!" She looks at her watch and moans.
"Oh man, these songs take too long to get through.")
Fire Angel:
Due to all the times we've had to stop during this song, it's unfortunately time for yet another
annoying commercial break, where companies try to get innocent people to buy their crappy
products. We'll see you after this short break.
Presented by Squartz Entertainment
Fire Angel
DISCLAIMER: We all know that none of the characters here belong to me, although it's pretty damn
unfortunate that they don't! The lyrics for Vivi's song have been adapted from Aaron Carter's
'Aaron's Party (Come Get It), and written by me, myself and I.
AUTHOR'S NOTE: You're not gonna believe this, but I have nothing to say this time. Surprising,
isn't it, seeing as I usually fill up almost half a page with my babble on? Okay, I'm going to
stop now, so enjoy this chapter!
The Melodies of Life Tour
Chapter 2: Master Vivi's Party
(A single spotlight flickers on stage, to reveal a set that looks remotely like a lounge-room of
a house. Fire Angel is stretched out over the couch, watching television. After a while, she gets
up and walks to the audience, signalling to Atrocious that he should cut all lights. Everything
goes black as she introduces the next act.)
Fire Angel:
Welcome back to the Melodies of Life Tour. For those that have just joined us, I'm your host,
Fire Angel. Anyways, I think you've all probably heard this next song somewhere before; and as
annoying as it might be, it's cute when sung by the right person. So I'd like you to welcome our
next character, who's going to be singing a remake of 'Aaron's Party… Come Get It'. VIVI
ORNITIER!
(Vivi enters, wearing the same get-up as in the previous song, however, his cap is backwards now.
Zidane and Dagger follow, actually fully dressed this time, and sit down on the couch, watching
the television. Zidane has a tight grip on a leash, which is leading a chocobo onto the stage.
The chocobo stands obediently by the couch. A curtain lifts to reveal Puck on the drums and Mog
mucking around with a mixer. An assembled choir of moogles and black mages stands nearby with
Eiko.)
Vivi:
H-Here's a little song for you
And it goes a little somethin like this…
(Vivi tries to strike a 'cool dude' pose, but ends up falling flat on his face. He struggles to
his feet, his face glowing bright red, and repositions his hat. Then, looking extremely nervously
at the noisy audience, he finally begins the song.)
Vivi:
I always tried to be the coolest mage on the block
The popular one, with the rising stock
And that's when I had the best idea!
Eiko:
Throw the party of the month?
Vivi:
Nah, the party of the year!
All the cute girls couldn't turn it down
Now all I gotta do is get the oldies out!
(Vivi gestures to Zidane and Dagger as he says this. Dagger leaps up from the couch and yells,
"OLD?! I'M SIXTEEN THANKYOU VERY MUCH! I AM NOT OLD! HOW DARE YOU CALL ME OLD!"
"Dagger, calm down," Zidane hisses. "You're six years older than him. To him, you ARE old."
"Old?" she mutters disbelievingly, as she sits back down. "Imagine that. Me, old?")
Eiko:
Should you send em to a movie?
Vivi:
Nah, send em out alone!
Let me think… hmm? They've gotta be long though!
(A kinky smile spreads over Zidane's face. "Alone, huh? I like the sound of that."
The smile fades as Zidane receives a slap to the face from Dagger. "You are SO disgusting!" she
says, sticking her nose in the air.
"That's not what you were saying ten minutes ago when we were-"
"SHUT UP!" Eiko roars. "CAN'T YOU SEE VIVI'S TRYING TO SING?! YOU TWO CAN TALK ABOUT HOW YOU
ENJOY FUCKING EACH OTHER'S BRAINS OUT LATER ON!"
Everyone stares at Eiko, the 'innocent' little girl who 'doesn't know the meaning' of swearing.
Her face goes bright red, and she mutters, "Just keep quiet, alright?"
Vivi walks over to Zidane and Dagger as the song starts up again.)
Vivi:
I said, "Dagger, Zidane, yo why ya sittin home?
Why don't you go spend some time alone?
And don't worry bout stayin out too long
Don't fuss over me, I'll be fine on my own."
("Fine, if you don't want us here," Zidane mutters as he climbs onto the chocobo. "We'll go. Come
on Dagger, let's get the hell out of here and have some… fun."
"Old. I don't believe it," Dagger mutters, climbing on behind Zidane. "Oldies at sixteen."
The chocobo races offstage, screeching "KWEEEEEEHHHH!" at the top of its lungs.)
Vivi:
Have a good time!
("I'm sure they will," Eiko mutters. From where she is standing, she can see offstage, and
Zidane's already trying to woo Dagger into the bed they have offstage, for another set.
"Un.Believeable."
Meanwhile, the black mages are crowding around a makeshift door, ringing a little bell like
absolute mad. The sound is deafening, and they don't stop until Eiko screams at them to shut up.
Everyone cracks up as Vivi removes his hands from his ears and continues the song.)
Vivi:
The doorbell rings, guess the party's here
So I'm crankin' up the stereo like it's New Year
Walkin' round the house like who's the man?
Eiko:
Ain't nobody do it like Vivi can!
Vivi:
First on the floor, you know that's me
I was bustin' out the moves, but then someone tripped me!
And I guess somewhere along I lost my head
So I jumped on the table and this is what I said…
(The black mages crowd around Vivi, and for a moment it's hard to tell where he is amid that mass
of glowing yellow eyes. Then he breaks out of the crowd and leaps up onto a table, and the whole
choir screams out the chorus. Their voices together are almost as loud as Eiko was in the
previous song, but not quite. Still, the volume has to be turned down just a tad, and offstage
Zidane is yelling, "Shut up! How is it possible to get a girl turned on when you've got a bunch
of little kids screaming their brains out?" Obviously, his efforts to woo Dagger are not
currently working.)
Vivi & Choir:
People all around, ya got to
Come get it!
Everyone together, sing it loud
Come get it!
Jump all `round c'mon
Come get it!
What? Come get it!
Say it again! Come get it!
People all around, ya got to
Come get it!
From the left to the right make noise
Come get it!
Here we go now, c'mon
Come get it!
Huh? Come get it!
What? What? Come get it!
Na na na na, na na na na, na na na na
Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah
(Now, the moogles burst into the 'room', each clutching an envelope. The black mages turn and
stare at the newcomers, their yellow eyes narrowed. They start to raise their arms to cast spells
that will send the poor moogles running away with burnt butts, but Vivi holds up a hand and yells
"STOP!"
Everything stops all at once, including the music. Vivi turns and gestures to Mog and Puck, who
start up the music again. Vivi winks at the audience, and then continues the song, with 'frozen'
moogles and black mages around him.)
Vivi:
Things were goin great, then to my surprise
Some moogles walked in I didn't recognise
I said, "Moogles, yo! You gotta get out!"
(As silence follows the line, Vivi turns around and says, "Kupo, where are you? You've got the
next line, you know."
From the mob of unmoving mages and moogles, a voice says, "Kupo… you mmrph mmge aftgh, kupo kupo
kupo, mrpho!"
"I think you might have 'stopped' them, Vivi," Eiko giggles. "When you yelled 'STOP', they just
froze, and no one's moved from that point onwards."
"Oh, man!" Vivi moans. "Eiko, can you cast 'Dispel' for me?"
Eiko raises her arms and yells, "DISPEL!". Within a second, the black mages and moogles are
moving again. "It's your line, Kupo," she says to a very confused moogle.)
Kupo:
Kupo, I heard this was an open house.
Vivi:
Open house?!
Kupo:
Kupo, that's what the letter said!
Vivi:
I didn't send out letters!
Moogles:
But Stiltzkin did!
(At this moment, Kupo takes over the drums as Puck and Eiko walk into the 'room' to join the
'party'. As Vivi looks at his next line, he moans.
"Who said I've got a crush on Eiko?" he asks the sky.
"No one said," Fire Angel replies innocently. "I never mentioned a name in the lyrics…"
"No, you just wrote on our scripts that Eiko had to walk in at this particular moment," Vivi
snaps.
Even though no one can see her, everyone knows instinctively that a wicked grin has spread over
Fire Angel's face. "Would you rather have a crush on Freija?" she asks. "Or Dagger? Because I can
change it if you want. Just say the word."
"Forget it," Vivi mutters. "Just leave it alone, alright?"
"Well then keep singing," Fire Angel says, grinning widely. "I love this next bit.")
Vivi (blushing):
Then walked in the girl I'm crushin
And some kids spilt juice on Dagger's new cushions
I turned around, and Prince Puck ripped the rug
Puck:
I hope it wasn't expensive!
Vivi:
They got that at Mount Gulug!
For now I won't sweat it
I'll clean it up later
There's a honey over there
And I really wanna meet her
(The volume is turned down again as this time, the mages, the moogles, Eiko and Puck sing along
with Vivi. Actually, sing probably isn't the right word. With Eiko in the huddle this time, the
noise could probably be heard on the moon. Even Vivi is covering his ears as he yells. Meanwhile,
in the sound booth, Atrocious laughs wickedly at the unsuspecting audience as he turns the volume
up to full. Everyone in the audience can now hardly be heard, screaming in protest, as they cover
their aching ears, trying to escape the sound.)
Vivi & Choir:
PEOPLE ALL AROUND, YA GOT TO
COME GET IT!
EVERYONE TOGETHER, SING IT LOUD
COME GET IT!
JUMP ALL `ROUND C'MON
COME GET IT!
WHAT? COME GET IT!
SAY IT AGAIN, HERE WE GO, UH! COME GET IT!
(Suddenly, a hot blast of fire hits Atrocious Angel, and the volume hits an all-time low.
Atrocious writhes in agony, as Fire Angel hisses, "That's your warning, Atrocious. Do it again,
and you die."
"Sorry," Atrocious mutters sarcastically, and he's hit by another blast. "Aaaarrrrgh!"
"Thankyou!" Zidane yells. You can tell he's utterly annoyed. For some reason, Dagger isn't
succumbing to his charms this time around.
The audience cheers as the chorus continues, at a now semi-normal volume. Vivi winks thankfully
at Fire Angel, and she gives him the almighty peace sign.)
Vivi & Choir:
PEOPLE ALL AROUND, YA GOT TO
COME GET IT!
FROM THE LEFT TO THE RIGHT MAKE NOISE
COME GET IT!
HERE WE GO NOW, C'MON
COME GET IT!
HUH? COME GET IT!
WHAT? COME GET IT!
NA NA NA NA, NA NA NA NA, NA NA NA NA
YEAH YEAH YEAH
Vivi:
Break it down
(From offstage, Dagger can be heard yelling, "Zidane, we're on! No, Zidane, that doesn't mean you
can stick your tongue down my throat. No, I mean we're on STAGE! Supporting VIVI! Not on each
other, you lunatic! Look, I know you're horny for me, but it's gonna have to wait, alright?
Vivi's performance can't be wrecked because you're trying to get me to have sex with you!"
"Dammit, that is so unfair!" Zidane is heard wailing.
A few seconds later, the chocobo lets out another loud "KWEEEEEHHHHHH!")
Eiko:
Now the real trouble starts!
Vivi:
Was that a chocobo? Oh dag! I'm in trouble!
Everybody get out now, on the double!
I'm dead!
Eiko:
You're done!
Vivi:
That's it for me!
I'm gonna have to start livin on the streets
Once Ziddy finds out bout this party I had
I don't even wanna start thinkin' bout Dag!
("DAG?!" Dagger can be heard yelling. "DAG?! First it's OLDIE, now DAG?! This is INSANE!"
"Calm down," Zidane hisses. "How do you think I feel? I'm ZIDDY!"
"So what?! At least you weren't called DAG! Dag," she mutters. "First old, now dag.
Un.Believable.")
Vivi:
I'm hustlin round the house tryin to clean up the mess
I sure put my new feather boots to the test
The chocobo screeched, now they're walkin up the steps
I guess life was good, with ten seconds left…
(Dagger and Zidane walk on stage, and Dagger's face contorts with fury as she looks at the
destroyed set. The moogles, black mages, Eiko, Vivi and Puck are all standing near the couch
looking extremely guilty. Mogrich is holding a ripped cushion, which has once-elaborate designs
of Eidolons over it. Dagger bursts into tears, and Zidane puts his arm around her shoulders
gently, glaring at Vivi like he's really, really mad. Of course, this is all completely put on,
but the audience seems to think Zidane's really mad at Vivi…)
Zidane:
VIVI!
Vivi:
Grounded!
(Dagger stops crying, and everyone surrounds Vivi again [this time including Zidane and Dagger],
hoisting Vivi onto their shoulders, and yelling out the chorus.)
Vivi & Choir:
People all around, ya got to
Come get it!
Everyone together, sing it loud
Come get it!
Jump all `round c'mon
Come get it!
What? Come get it!
Say it again! Come get it!
People all around, ya got to
Come get it!
From the left to the right make noise
Come get it!
Vivi:
Master V is in the house c'mon
Choir:
Come get it!
Huh? What? What? Come get it!
(The audience starts waving their arms in the air as they join in with the 'na nas' and 'yeah
yeahs'. Zidane is trying to get Dagger off of the stage, but she keeps swatting him away.
"Why are you doing this?" he moans. "Twenty minutes ago you were so eager to have me!"
"Yeah, well now I'm not," Dagger says. "I can't really feel kinky when I've got a little kid
singing about how old I am."
"Maybe next song then, eh?" Zidane replies sexily, slipping an arm around her waist.
"Maybe," she agrees. "Just maybe.")
Vivi & Choir:
Na na na na, na na na na, na na na na
Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah
Na na na na, na na na na, na na na na
Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah
Come get it!
(The audience breaks into applause as the stage goes black. Fire Angel starts to speak, but is
cut off by a wicked laugh.
"HAAHAAHAAHAA! I AM ATROCIOUS ANGEL, AND I AM TAKING OVER THIS PERFORMANCE! I'D LIKE TO INVITE MY
GOOD FRIEND EMINEM TO SAY A FEW WORDS ON BEHALF OF…"
"SHUT UP!" Fire Angel roars. The only light that can be seen is the fire that is burning
Atrocious to death. "THIS IS NOT AN EMINEM CONCERT, IT IS THE MELODIES OF LIFE TOUR! SO GET A
LIFE AND STOP BEING SO OBSESSED WITH EMINEM, ATROCIOUS!"
"I don't think he can get a life," Vivi says timidly. "You just killed him."
"Shh!" Fire Angel whispers. "I don't want the cops onto me!" She looks at her watch and moans.
"Oh man, these songs take too long to get through.")
Fire Angel:
Due to all the times we've had to stop during this song, it's unfortunately time for yet another
annoying commercial break, where companies try to get innocent people to buy their crappy
products. We'll see you after this short break.