Disclaimer: I don't own Love Hina or Sealab, Ken Akamatsu and Cartoon Network do.
This is a parody/Crossover of Love Hina and Sealab 2021, a hilarious show on Cartoon Network. I believe the specific episode I'm spoofing is 'Lost in Time', but I might have the names mixed up again…if you want to see the episode, check on Kazaa, I'm sharing it for dedicated readers ^_^
Love Hina: LOST IN SEALAB[Scene opens to show a huge Mecha-Tama threatening to destroy all of Hinata Town with Sara and Su on top of it. Suddenly, the camera zooms into Keitaro pressing a button. Explosions ring the Mecha, and both Su and Sara disappear in a ball of flames. Next to Keitaro, Motoko gasps in horror.]
Motoko: Do you realize what you've done, Urashima? Both Su and Sara are dead because of you!
Keitaro: Two lives to save two thousand. Those are odds I can live with!
Motoko: You monster! I cannot believe that…you…would…
Keitaro: *waits patiently*……
Motoko: …I'm sorry, I can't do this.
The camera recedes away from the pair, revealing a huge backstage theatre complete with stagehands, a director, and props. The director looks suspiciously like Ken Akamatsu, creator of Love Hina!
Ken: Great job as always, Urashima!
Keitaro: Thanks man.
Ken: Do you want some water?
Keitaro: No
Ken: Hey Shinobu, get Mr. Urashima some water! (Turns to Keitaro) You have to hydrate, man. It's key.
Keitaro (Shrugs): All right.
Ken: I just love your body language, buddy. (Turns to Motoko and sighs) Now, what is it this time, Aoyuma?
Motoko: This…line…I can't go through with it. Motoko would understand the sacrifice Keitaro is making, and even if she-
Ken: Aoyuma.
Motoko:…yes?
Ken: This is a TV show, okay? And you're an actor. You're paid to just do it by the script. So just…do…the scene.
Motoko: Oh, fine.
Ken: Ok! Lights…. camera…cue fog effects…action!
Keitaro: Ahem…. two lives to save two thousand! Those are odds I can live with!
[Thousands of Tama-chans begin flying around the two actors, distracting Keitaro and scaring Motoko speechless]
Keitaro: Wha-???
Motoko: WAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! DIE DIE DIE YOU INFERNAL BEASTS FROM HECK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ken: Cut! Cut! I said fog effects, not frog effects! Gah…morons. Okay, take it from the top!
Keitaro: Hrm...ah….two lives to save two thousand, Motoko! Those are odds I can live with!
Motoko (in a completely deadpan voice): You monster I cannot believe you would do such a thing.
Ken: CUT! Aoyuma, what the hell do you think you're doing?
Motoko (blinks innocently): What? I said the lines, didn't I? What?
Keitaro: I'll be in my trailer.
Ken: Urashima, wait! Awww…(turns to Motoko). Now look at what you've done!
Motoko: Speaking of which, how come he gets a trailer? I don't have a trailer.
Ken: Look, Aoyuma-
Motoko: I don't even have a chair. But he has a trailer.
Ken: Aoyuma, please-
Motoko: He has a trailer, and I don't even have a fricken chair! And Motoko would NOT say those lines!
Ken: Okay, look, let's get the author over, okay?
[Enter Shirai (Keitaro's short, pudgy friend)]
Shirai: Look Motoko, we're on a budget here, and running out of time. Just do your part, okay?
Motoko: Why? So we can end with another clichéd romantic scene with Keitaro and Naru about to kiss just before somebody interferes?
Shirai: IT'S NOT CLICHED! IT'S BISHOUJO! And this time, we're going to end with the two of them running away from everyone else-
Motoko: Like the OVA.
Shirai: -only Naru gets shot in the back, and there's a dramatic finish with Naru slowly falling as thousands of doves fly in slow motion in the background, and she whispers her last words in Keitaro's arms.
Motoko (stares in disbelief): That's Cowboy Bebop, you hack!
Shirai! I am not a hack!
Motoko: No, you're just horrible at making believable storylines.
Shirai: Actually, what isn't believable is you, considering I wrote Aoyuma as being impassive,
Motoko: Yeah, yeah…
Shirai: -and attractive…
Motoko: HEY!
Ken: OK! Everybody take 10! And somebody go get Urashima out of his trailer…
[Scene cuts to the other side of the theatre, where Kanako is being interviewed.]
Reporter: So, I understand you're part of the "Turn Keitaro and everyone else on the planet into Vampires" fan club?
Kanako: It's not a fan club. It's a religion.
Reporter: Not according to Fanclub.Net!
[Kanako's eyes burn red]
Kanako: Oh, there will be a DAY of RECKONING! And the rivers will run RED with BLOOD and there will be a WAR and a SLASHING of HEADS, and YOU will count yourself among the DAMNED!
Reporter (sweatdrops): So…what's it like working with vampires?
Kanako (shrugs): Eh…never met 1.
[Scene cuts to the dressing room, where Kitsune and Haitini are waiting]
Kitsune: I can't believe this English dub! My voice was supposed to be Sexy Southern Belle, but I sound like Sleazy Texan Slut!
[AN: My apologies to all Texan readers. In fact, I like Kitsune's English dub…she's more tolerable than Motoko's, at least.]
Haitini: Hey, look at Su. At least you don't sound like that Qwik-E Mart guy.
Kitsune: And just how unbelievable is my character, anyways? I mean, has the writer never been with a girl? Real women don't strip for zero apparent reason, and my character's obsession with money and booze is pathetic!
Haitini: Yeah, and these action figurines are terrible! I don't look this dumb in real life!
Kitsune: Yes, you do. But if you think yours is bad, look at mine!
[Kitsune pulls out a figurine that looks like every perverted fanboy's dream come true]
Haitini: I like it.
Kitsune (Takes off her shirt): Wow, is it hot in here or what?
Haitini (Staring): So…you wanna get some sake?
Kitsune: Sure, if you're paying!
[Nearby is Chibi-Keitaro and Chibi-Promised-Girl]
Chibi-Kei: Wowow! That Kitsune woman is one hawt MAMA!
Chibi-Girl: Yeah. Too bad you're going to promise your love to an extremely violent and less attractive girl instead!
Chibi-Kei: *&^&$##!!!!!! DAMMIT!
[Scene cuts to Shinobu and Otohime dragging in a huge bundle of bandages for Keitaro, until Motoko blocks their way. Motoko is reclining in a lounge chair and is wearing full samurai armor.]
Shinobu: Ano…Motoko-sempai, could you move out of the way please?
Motoko: This is my trailer. Or if it would be if I had one. And this would be my chair. If I had a chair. And I would put the chair in the trailer. If I had one.
Ken: Okay, we finally tore Urashima from his Love Sim…Aoyuma, are you ready to cooperate? And what's with that armor?
Motoko: Well, since Motoko is descended from samurai, I've decided to adopt the traditional garb she would favor.
Ken: You have 5 seconds to get out of that armor and into a gi and hakama. Five…
Motoko: I'll just go change in my trailer.
Ken: Four…
Motoko: Oh wait! I don't have a trailer!
Ken: Three…
Motoko: Then I'll change behind my chair!
Ken: two…
Motoko: The chair I don't have!
Ken: FINE! You can have a chair! Shirai, give the woman your chair.
Shirai (Looks hurt): H-hey!
Ken: Don't mess with me; I can rewrite your character whenever I want to. (Looks over) Hey, fangirls? I know this is taking a while, but I need you to maintain your obsessive enthusiasm for Motoko, okay?
Motoko's three fangirls: OH, MOTOKO-SEMPAIIII!!!!
Motoko: Rrrrghhh …
Ken: Okay…three…two…one…action!
[Scene opens with Sara dying a horrible death]
Motoko: Do you realize what you've done, Urashima? Both Su and Sara are dead because of you!
Keitaro: Two lives to save two thousand. Those are odds I can live with!
Motoko: You monster! First you kill off two lovable characters, and then you go home to your trailer!
Ken: CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AOYUMA, YOU-
Keitaro: I'll handle this.
Ken: …oh, all right then, Mr. Urashima sir.
[Keitaro motions for Motoko to look at her chair. It's new and shiny.]
Keitaro: You see that chair, Motoko? Look at it.
Motoko: I am.
Keitaro: Now look at me! Now back to the chair!
[When Motoko turns back to the chair, her sword is lying on it.]
Motoko: How…
Keitaro: Movie magic, Motoko. And we're a part of that magic. We're not just clichéd anime characters in an elaborate parody of two awesome TV shows…we're…actors, Motoko!
Motoko (Stares at Keitaro): Oh my God…I see it now…I understand…
Keitaro (Shifts uncomfortably): Good.
Motoko: I love you, Keitaro.
Keitaro (Sweatdrops): Um…
Director: Okay! One more time…and Motoko, at least pretend you're an actor!
Motoko: Hey!
[The entire world blurs, and is replaced by a dark room with two people sleeping in a bed. One of them suddenly bolts up.]
Motoko: AAAAHHHH!!!!!!
Kanako: Unh? What is it?
Motoko: Nightmare…it was horrible…
Kanako: The one with the thousands of perverted turtles?
Motoko: No…the other one…
Kanako: The one where I sexually abuse you, try to run all the girls out of Hinatasou, and want to get laid with my brother?
Motoko(Groans): No…that's the OVA…
Kanako: The dream where you lap dance for Keitaro?
Motoko: I don't dream about that!
Kanako: Oh, right, that's my fantasy. So what were you dreaming about?
Motoko: I dreamt our entire lives were nothing but fictional characters created purely for the amusement of obsessed anime fans, and I didn't have a trailer, and you were part of some hideous vampiric fan club…
[Both characters slowly turn and look at the screen, and then turn back to each other]
Kanako: Actually, it's a religion.
Motoko (Blinks): What?
Kanako: Never mind…Motoko, there's something I have to tell you.
Motoko: Hmm?
Kanako: I don't love you.
Motoko: …
Kanako: …
Motoko: This isn't a very happy ending.
Kanako: Most endings aren't.
Motoko: …
Kanako: …
Motoko: …you know, that Love Hina show has a happy ending.
Kanako: Only for Naru.