Type: Humor/Drama
Rating: General
Disclaimer: I don't own any characters from Ranma ½ and Inuyasha. They belong to Rumiko Takahashi-sensei.
Summary:
Cologne found the legendary Tetsusaiga that was known to slay thousand youkais in one go. Saotome Ranma, Genma, Ryouga, Kunou, `kouchou' principal, Happousai, Mousse, Shampoo, Akane, Kodaichi and Ukyou joined in the race for their personal motives. On the other side, the activation of the present Tetsusaiga sealed off the bone-eating well's time traveling ability! Back in the present time, the story of Tetsusaiga became more and more distorted.
The Tetsusaiga-Race: Happousai's Theory
The pairing of the game is as follows:
Team 1- Ranma and Ryouga;
Team 2- Akane and Shampoo;
Team 3- Mousse and Kodaichi;
Team 4- Kunou Tatewaki and Ukyou
On a nearby coconut tree, the `kouchou' principal was hiding among the leaves with a pineapple on his head and watching the groups moving towards the starting point.
"OH~! They are proceeding towards my traps! Those poor little things! I pity them so much! BOO HOO HOO!!!" He wiped out his tissue and dried his 'tears'.
"Let's chop this tree to make a boat for our ride!" Mr. XYZ said. "Oh! That's so sweet of you, darling!" Ms ABC said.
The tree fell and the `kouchou' principal dropped to the ground and was instantly buried among the leaves.
"This is only the beginning, BOYS and GIRLS!! Hee hee hee hee!!!" the crazy principal said.
~~**~~
"Hey, Ranma!" Ryouga reminded: "Don't you dare to hinder my aim for the sword!"
"That's supposed to be my line, P-CHAN!"
~~WRACK!!!~~
At the other side, Shampoo was still thinking of something, as if ignoring Akane's presence. Akane was relieved of any fight and waited for the coming of the race.
"Akane!" Kunou Tatewaki sobbed, sneezing into his tissue: "I wanna be with you!!"
Ukyou shrugged: "Stop crying, will you? It's so annoying!" she thought: 'Crap! Why must I pair up with this cry-baby?'
"Shampoo!" Mousse hugged Kodaichi and cried in pools of tears: "WE'RE FINALLY TOGETHER AGAIN!!!!"
"HEY! DON'T TOUCH ME, YOU SHORT-SIGHTED WEIRDO!!!!"
"The competition shall commerce in 5 minutes! Please prepare and stand at your respective place!" Cologne announced.
The youngsters tied one of their legs to their partners, held a knife in one hand and a coconut on the other and waited. Ranma kept a wary eye on Kodaichi and Shampoo. They were capable of doing tricks. Luckily, they did nothing.
"READY? GET SET... GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!" Cologne roared.
The groups ran like a wind across the field trying to slash the other groups' coconuts.
Several ropes with sharp knives attached to their ends suddenly flew and curled around Ukyou's coconut. It was Mousse.
"AH~~! YOUR KNIVES ARE CURLING AROUND SHAMPOO'S COCONUT!!!" Ukyou screamed.
"HUH? Really?" Mousse quickly withdrew his weapons. Ukyou, pulling Kunou, skipped away quickly. Her coconut was safe.
Kodaichi screamed: "YOU STUPID DIM-WIT!!! YOU HAVE BEEN FOOLED!!!!"
"Besides, Shampoo is not in our group and she's NOT your partner NOW!! GOT IT?!?!"
"Grrr.." Mousse growled: "I DON'T NEED YOU TO TEACH MEEEE!!!" He started to fight with Kodaichi.
Ranma and Ryouga quickly leaped before them and ran off towards the destination.
'GOSH! They are fighting within themselves!" Ranma observed.
One group less, he estimated.
Just then Shampoo and Akane's team edged closer to theirs'.
"Hi, Akane!" Ryouga blushed.
'Oh no, must I attack the innocent Ryouga?' Akane was troubled.
"WATCH OUT!!" Ranma yelled and pulled Ryouga just in time. Shampoo's knife almost touched Ryouga's coconut.
"Gomen, Ranma, but I must win!" Shampoo said, flying another slash at their coconuts again.
"Whooo.!!" Ranma said, dodging all attacks: "That was a close one!"
Suddenly, he tripped.
"I will not let you hurt Akane!!!" It was Ryouga. He had tripped Ranma because one of Ranma's attacks had almost touched Akane's coconut.
"Can't you just ignore that kawaikunee girl for this competition?!?!"
~SPLASH!~
"So, I'm not kawaii, right? Ranma?" Akane said, holding an empty pail. She had just poured cold water over Ranma, turning him into a girl.
"I DON'T WANT TO SEE YOUR FACE AGAIN!!! SAYONARA!!!" She angrily pulled Shampoo and stomped off towards the destination.
"AKANE NO BAKA!!" Ranma shouted and got a hit by Ryouga instead.
"HOW DARE YOU SCOLD HER?!?!?!"
'Teme..' Ranma thought: 'At this rate, I'll never be able to win the sword at all!'
Kunou and Ukyou's team were currently the fastest team.
"Ah-huh, now where are we supposed to head now?" Ukyou flashed out the map and studied.
Kunou looked at the map; there was a stopping point for further instruction before they were allowed to proceed to the next stage.
"HUH?!?! That baa baa did not tell us that just now!"
They ran towards a point. Afar, the `kouchou' principal giggled with his head (disguised as pineapple and the rest of his body in the sand). He had placed a mine there.
Suddenly, a wind of black rose petals swung around Ukyou's eyes.
"Oh, ho ho ho hhhohhoooooooo....!!!!" It was Kodaichi alone.
"HEY!!! WHERE'S MOUSSE?!"
"I'll fetch him later after the competition's done!" Kodaichi said with the back of her hand close to her hand and laughed again: "Oh, ho ho ho ho!!!"
"That crazy sister of mine! She's cheating~ AGAIN!!" Kunou realized Kodaichi could get away from the bounded burden and got pissed off. He screamed, pulling the mines using his wooden sword from the ground and started throwing them at her.
"DUN??!!" The `kouchou' principal stared: "How did he know that I've hid the mines there?"
Kodaichi swung her laces and flew the mines towards the pineapple direction.
"OH! NO!"
~~BOOM!!!!~~
The `kouchou' principal crawled away in black soot.
"I shall return with more TRAPS! Just you wait!" his mouth puffed out more soot.
Ukyou pulled out her huge spatula and started fighting with Kodaichi. Kunou was pulled along by the ropes and kept bumping into rocks.
"HEY!!!~ You forgot about me!!!"
Meanwhile, Akane/Shampoo and Ranma/Ryouga's teams were catching up.
"Pant! Pant! Almost reaching!" the two groups were tired of fighting along the way, realizing they were falling behind the other two teams and ran all the way after them.
"HEY! The other two teams are approaching.!" Kunou called as he was dragged along the ground.
"QUICK! We must go to the meeting station first!" Ukyou pulled Kunou up and ran all the way there.
Kodaichi suddenly pulled the dizzy Mousse out from the sand, tied his foot to hers and raced after them.
"NANI?!?! Like this also can?!?!" Ryouga screamed with disbelief.
~~~ STATION POINT ~~~
Cologne was already standing there. None of the participants have their coconuts slashed.
"Duh?!?! That's a rare case," Cologne muttered.
"HEY!! O' BAA BAAA!!!" Kunou, Ranma and Ryouga (Mousse had not recovered from the suffocation being buried in the sand for so long) protested: "I thought this stupid competition should end by now! Conclude the results NOW!!!"
"Uh-uh!!" Cologne looked around: "See, all the teams have arrived at the SAME time and none of your coconuts was slashed by rival team. So that means there's neither winner nor loser!"
"So how, great grandmother?" Shampoo called.
"Hey, Is that Tetsusaiga over there?" Ukyou called looking at a direction.
A blade of a saw was penetrating and sawing the wooden plank where the sword was placed.
Ranma reached over and snatched the sword from the ground before it fell together with the sawed floor.
"Happousai," Ranma growled: "Is that you again?"
He strikes the sawed floor, causing a hole to appear and struck his head inside. A panda with two round glasses band quickly left the area. It was Genma.
"STUPID OLD MAN! COME BACK HERE!!!" Ranma called and ran after him.
"Ranma is so CUNNING!!! He's running away with the Tetsusaiga!!!!" Shampoo screamed.
"Tee hee hee hee!" Thought Ranma: "This sword's gonna be mine!!"
He drew out the sword. It was a wooden one with words written on it.
It said: 'YOU ARE FOOLED, DIM-WIT!!!!'
Cologne casually took out the real Tetsusaiga from her back.
"The real sword is here, great grandson-in-law!"
"And it's now mine!!!" A wind of black roses whirled around the room and Kodaichi swung the sword in her lace and ran away.
"SHAMPOOOOOO!!!!" Mousse suddenly woke up and grabbed Kodaichi by her waist.
"GOOD TRY, MOUSSE!!!" Ryouga called and reached for the sword. It turned out to be Kunou's wooden sword.
"HUHH?!?!"
"Hee, hee!!! It's now MINE!!" Kunou screamed happily and started to run. Fearing it could be a fake sword; he drew it out of its scabbard.
"It.. It." Kunou stammered.
It was a blunt-looking sword with irregular edges.
"HEY!~" Kunou called, looking bored: "Are you sure this is the sword that can slay thousands of youkai in one go? O' baa baaa??? I bet it can't even cut a grape into two."
All the people (except Cologne) looked on, shocked.
"Huh!" Ranma rubbed his forehead: "I think you have us on again, old baa baa."
"Hah? Is this the sword I have been thinking day and night?!?!" Ryouga cried; feeling cheated.
"Uh-huh! That's Tetsusaiga-the sword that can slay thousands of youkai in one go!" Cologne said confidently: "Humpt! And this is the second test!"
"Shampoo has the instruction of using Tetsusaiga with her. Who ever wins her heart shall own the sword!"
"HEY! That's not fair!! What about us?!" Kodaichi protested.
"Uh-huh! That's your own problem!" Cologne continued. She thought: 'In this way, Great grandson-in-law will have to please Shampoo by agreeing to marry her. Huh! Huh!'
"Huh? Is this the one?" Shampoo searched her pocket and her face changed colour.
"What is it, Shampoo?"
"It.. it." She stammered.
"The secret manual of using Tetsusaiga..." Kunou read.
"..." Ranma and Ryouga glared hard at Kunou.
"...." Shampoo, Kodaichi, Akane and Ukyou glared at Kunou.
He had unknowingly snatched the book from Shampoo during the coconut- slashing race.
"It seems that there's only one thing to do.." Ranma said seriously.
He downed a pail of cold water over his head turning into female Ranma.
"KUNOU SENIOR, MY DEARRRRRRR!" She called, running towards Kunou in open arms.
"RANMA'S SO CUNNING!!!!!!" Ryouga and Shampoo screamed.
"AH! My pig-tailed girl!!!" Kunou cried out happily in tears, preparing to receive his dream girl.
"HEE!" Ranma kicked him in his face and snatched the book.
"Now, let's see what's inside!" She said eagerly, flipping the pages.
"..."
"What is it, Ranma?" Ryouga and Mousse questioned anxiously.
"Errrr.."
Ryouga snatched the book from Ranma and read. *Sweat-drop*
The words were represented by symbols of circles and crosses.
"Hey!" Ukyou said: "How did you know what it's writing about?!"
"Duh?!" Cologne remembered: "My great-grandmother translated it for me! She said it was the last surviving book left by Sango Sama."
~~~~ 500 YEARS EARLIER IN FEUDAL JAPAN ~~~~
"OI, Sango!" Inuyasha called.
"What~?" Sango answered, looking bored.
"Do you know how to write 'worry'?"
"Why do you ask?"
"FEH! Are you helping me or not?"
"Duh..."
"OI!"
Sango ran speedily away. Inuyasha leaped and stood before her.
"Hey, Sango! Why aren't you answering me?"
"Duh, why should I tell you?!?!"
"Uh-huh!" Inuyasha guessed: "You do not know how to write, am I correct?!"
~~ FIERY GLARE FROM SANGO ~~
~~~~~~ 500 YEARS BACK IN PRESENT JAPAN ~~~~~~
"Ano," Akane began: "So how are we going to do now?"
"Ahem!" Cologne coughed: "Since none of you people can appreciate this treasure, I'm keeping it with me."
She swept a glance at the people in the room: "It seems that none of you are destined to use. I'm going to save it for Shampoo."
"Oh no!" A voice boomed above her, snatching Tetsusaiga again from her. It was Happousai. "It's coming with ME!! BUA HA HA HA HA!!!!"
"Oh no," Cologne thought anxiously: "Happousai seemed to know something about this sword!"
"Because!" Genma and Souun appeared from nowhere and cried out anxiously: "One of his ancestor, Miroku-sama has left a book about THAT sword!!!!!!"
~~~~ 500 YEARS EARLIER IN FEUDAL JAPAN ~~~~
"HA CHOOOOOOOOOO.....~~~~!!!" Miroku sneezed while he tried to touch some women's butt again.
~~~~~~ 500 YEARS BACK IN PRESENT JAPAN ~~~~~~
"Tee hee hee!!!!" Happousai laughed, holding the sword in his hand: "You people are the ignorant lots! I'm going to make FULL use of Tetsusaiga!"
Happousai stood on a safe spot: "Cologne's all wrong about its legend!!! Let me tell you the REAL origin of Tetsusaiga! DUMB-WITS!!!! Listen to my real explanations!"
~~~~ HAPPOUSAI'S DESCRIPTION ~~~~~
500 years ago in Warring Feudal Japan. A fierce and powerful Inu youkai lord from the Western Country came and invaded a clan that excelled in destroying youkai. This Inu youkai lord enjoyed eating people with youkai- eliminating power. All but one survived, and she was in great danger. A handsome priest came to her rescue.
(Two arrows pointed at the couple):
Miroku- 18 years old, handsome, powerful and sexy. He was the most skilful priest during the time.
Sango- 17 years old, beautiful and stunning. She was the last surviving youkai eliminator in her clan.
(An arrow pointing at the youkai):
Inuyasha, 320 years old Inu youkai, he was the most powerful youkai in Warring Japan. His favourite hobby was to destroy powerful youkai- eliminating clans he could find. He had a pair of big red eyes, two curving horns on his head, hair as white as snow and mouth full of sharp fangs. His claws were as sharp as knives and he wore in red kimono.
Under the powerful Miroku-Houshi's assistance, the evil Inuyasha was finally defeated.
Inuyasha roared, laughed and groaned in pain (all at the same time, wonder how Happousai imagine that): You have destroyed my physical body, but my spirit shall haunt the world FOREVER!!! BUA HA HA HA!!!!
Then he died.
Sango cried out (clasping her hand with sparkling eyes full of tears of happiness): " You are MY HERO!!! You have saved my life! May I know your name?"
Miroku-sama (with sparkling background) said in a charming voice: My name is Miroku; you are safe from that evil youkai-Inuyasha, my lady.
To prevent the evil Inu youkai from reviving, Miroku created a youkai sword using Inuyasha's bones and fangs. To make sure that no one can use it to create evil, he set a spell on it so that people without the youkai's blood can make full use of the sword. He named it Tetsusaiga. Sango was very much attracted to the power of Tetsusaiga. One fateful night, she stole the sword and escaped to China where she stayed ever since.
The sorrowful Miroku searched the sword but in vain. Before his death, he left a will to his descendents, asking them to recover the sword for it belonged to him and NOT Sango.
~~~~ END OF HAPPOUSAI'S DESCRIPTION ~~~~~
"Sob! Sob!" Ukyou pulled out her tissues: "I never know there's such a touching story behind the sword's origin!"
"Hey!" Ranma complained: "Baa baa and Happousai have their own sayings. Whose explanation is correct?"
"Oh, that Inuyasha's really up to no good! If Happousai's legend is correct, that Sango's even worse than Inuyasha-the Inu youkai," added Ryouga.
"It's a blessing that Inuyasha was destroyed or the entire Tokyo's in deep trouble," Mousse nodded.
~~~~~~ 500 YEARS BACK IN PRESENT JAPAN ~~~~~~
Inuyasha, Kagome, Shippou, Miroku and Sango returned to the bone-eating well to check if it had regained its time-travel power. After a few days of depression, Kagome had finally lifted her spirits and started talking with the rest of them.
As they approached the well, Inuyasha, Miroku and Sango sneezed together.
"Kagome, why are they sneezing again?" Shippou asked on her shoulder.
"I dunno either," Kagome shrugged.
"Heh! This is the fifth time I sneeze today!" Inuyasha complained.
"..and it's my third time," Sango continued.
"Plus my second time," added Miroku.
"Someone is scolding us AGAIN!" They concluded together.
The well was in view now. Inuyasha leaped into the well. Kagome followed.
Nothing happened.
Dammit!
~~~~~~ 500 YEARS BACK IN PRESENT JAPAN ~~~~~~
"Oi! Old man! How can you prove that the sword is yours?!" Cologne flumed.
"Tee hee hee!" Happousai wiped out a small bottle: "This is a bottle of youkai blood! By pouring it on the sword, its power will be FULLY activated, you ignorant old baa baa!!!"
"Like this?" Ranma snatched the bottle and emptied its content over the sword.
"HEY!! That's my ancestors' treasure!!!!!!" roared Happousai.
The sword suddenly glowed and shot into the sky.
"OH NO!!! IT'S RUNNING AWAY!!!!!" The group screamed and ran after the flying sword.
They ran across the street and many people stared hard at the strange people. Vehicles honked and some passingbys complained, but they did not stop.
Unfortunately, the sword was too fast and disappeared among the greenery.
The people leaped and searched beyond the trees. There were a number of buildings in the sub-urban region of Tokyo including some houses and a shrine.
Disappointed, they returned home.
"It's all your fault!" They started to push blames among one another.
Unknowingly, Tetsusaiga had flown into the bone eating well in Kagome's shrine, struck its blade into the ground of the well and transformed into stone.
At the other end of the well, Inuyasha and Kagome found the ground shining in brilliant violet and they returned back to present Japan.
"I'm finally home!!" Kagome said, her eyes welling with tears. None of them noticed the stone sword
"Huh?" Inuyasha raised his head.
~~~~~~~~SPLASHHHHHHHHHH~~~~~~~~~~~
Something wet and stinky splashed onto them. It smelt like wine with something else added on it.
"Ah, Kagome! You are back!" Kagome's grandfather called from above: "My spell works!!"
"Nee-chan, we have been waiting for you here for days. You have missed your mock examinations.." her brother, Souta continued.
"Grrr.. Jii-chan, I'm glad you are worry for me, but can you do it in some other wayyyyyy....????" Kagome groaned in her wet and sour clothes: "Right, Inuyasha..? Inuyasha?!"
Inuyasha had collapsed in the well (NOTE: he was highly sensitive of anything stinky).
The Tetsusaiga Race~ To be continued....
Rating: General
Disclaimer: I don't own any characters from Ranma ½ and Inuyasha. They belong to Rumiko Takahashi-sensei.
Summary:
Cologne found the legendary Tetsusaiga that was known to slay thousand youkais in one go. Saotome Ranma, Genma, Ryouga, Kunou, `kouchou' principal, Happousai, Mousse, Shampoo, Akane, Kodaichi and Ukyou joined in the race for their personal motives. On the other side, the activation of the present Tetsusaiga sealed off the bone-eating well's time traveling ability! Back in the present time, the story of Tetsusaiga became more and more distorted.
The Tetsusaiga-Race: Happousai's Theory
The pairing of the game is as follows:
Team 1- Ranma and Ryouga;
Team 2- Akane and Shampoo;
Team 3- Mousse and Kodaichi;
Team 4- Kunou Tatewaki and Ukyou
On a nearby coconut tree, the `kouchou' principal was hiding among the leaves with a pineapple on his head and watching the groups moving towards the starting point.
"OH~! They are proceeding towards my traps! Those poor little things! I pity them so much! BOO HOO HOO!!!" He wiped out his tissue and dried his 'tears'.
"Let's chop this tree to make a boat for our ride!" Mr. XYZ said. "Oh! That's so sweet of you, darling!" Ms ABC said.
The tree fell and the `kouchou' principal dropped to the ground and was instantly buried among the leaves.
"This is only the beginning, BOYS and GIRLS!! Hee hee hee hee!!!" the crazy principal said.
~~**~~
"Hey, Ranma!" Ryouga reminded: "Don't you dare to hinder my aim for the sword!"
"That's supposed to be my line, P-CHAN!"
~~WRACK!!!~~
At the other side, Shampoo was still thinking of something, as if ignoring Akane's presence. Akane was relieved of any fight and waited for the coming of the race.
"Akane!" Kunou Tatewaki sobbed, sneezing into his tissue: "I wanna be with you!!"
Ukyou shrugged: "Stop crying, will you? It's so annoying!" she thought: 'Crap! Why must I pair up with this cry-baby?'
"Shampoo!" Mousse hugged Kodaichi and cried in pools of tears: "WE'RE FINALLY TOGETHER AGAIN!!!!"
"HEY! DON'T TOUCH ME, YOU SHORT-SIGHTED WEIRDO!!!!"
"The competition shall commerce in 5 minutes! Please prepare and stand at your respective place!" Cologne announced.
The youngsters tied one of their legs to their partners, held a knife in one hand and a coconut on the other and waited. Ranma kept a wary eye on Kodaichi and Shampoo. They were capable of doing tricks. Luckily, they did nothing.
"READY? GET SET... GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!" Cologne roared.
The groups ran like a wind across the field trying to slash the other groups' coconuts.
Several ropes with sharp knives attached to their ends suddenly flew and curled around Ukyou's coconut. It was Mousse.
"AH~~! YOUR KNIVES ARE CURLING AROUND SHAMPOO'S COCONUT!!!" Ukyou screamed.
"HUH? Really?" Mousse quickly withdrew his weapons. Ukyou, pulling Kunou, skipped away quickly. Her coconut was safe.
Kodaichi screamed: "YOU STUPID DIM-WIT!!! YOU HAVE BEEN FOOLED!!!!"
"Besides, Shampoo is not in our group and she's NOT your partner NOW!! GOT IT?!?!"
"Grrr.." Mousse growled: "I DON'T NEED YOU TO TEACH MEEEE!!!" He started to fight with Kodaichi.
Ranma and Ryouga quickly leaped before them and ran off towards the destination.
'GOSH! They are fighting within themselves!" Ranma observed.
One group less, he estimated.
Just then Shampoo and Akane's team edged closer to theirs'.
"Hi, Akane!" Ryouga blushed.
'Oh no, must I attack the innocent Ryouga?' Akane was troubled.
"WATCH OUT!!" Ranma yelled and pulled Ryouga just in time. Shampoo's knife almost touched Ryouga's coconut.
"Gomen, Ranma, but I must win!" Shampoo said, flying another slash at their coconuts again.
"Whooo.!!" Ranma said, dodging all attacks: "That was a close one!"
Suddenly, he tripped.
"I will not let you hurt Akane!!!" It was Ryouga. He had tripped Ranma because one of Ranma's attacks had almost touched Akane's coconut.
"Can't you just ignore that kawaikunee girl for this competition?!?!"
~SPLASH!~
"So, I'm not kawaii, right? Ranma?" Akane said, holding an empty pail. She had just poured cold water over Ranma, turning him into a girl.
"I DON'T WANT TO SEE YOUR FACE AGAIN!!! SAYONARA!!!" She angrily pulled Shampoo and stomped off towards the destination.
"AKANE NO BAKA!!" Ranma shouted and got a hit by Ryouga instead.
"HOW DARE YOU SCOLD HER?!?!?!"
'Teme..' Ranma thought: 'At this rate, I'll never be able to win the sword at all!'
Kunou and Ukyou's team were currently the fastest team.
"Ah-huh, now where are we supposed to head now?" Ukyou flashed out the map and studied.
Kunou looked at the map; there was a stopping point for further instruction before they were allowed to proceed to the next stage.
"HUH?!?! That baa baa did not tell us that just now!"
They ran towards a point. Afar, the `kouchou' principal giggled with his head (disguised as pineapple and the rest of his body in the sand). He had placed a mine there.
Suddenly, a wind of black rose petals swung around Ukyou's eyes.
"Oh, ho ho ho hhhohhoooooooo....!!!!" It was Kodaichi alone.
"HEY!!! WHERE'S MOUSSE?!"
"I'll fetch him later after the competition's done!" Kodaichi said with the back of her hand close to her hand and laughed again: "Oh, ho ho ho ho!!!"
"That crazy sister of mine! She's cheating~ AGAIN!!" Kunou realized Kodaichi could get away from the bounded burden and got pissed off. He screamed, pulling the mines using his wooden sword from the ground and started throwing them at her.
"DUN??!!" The `kouchou' principal stared: "How did he know that I've hid the mines there?"
Kodaichi swung her laces and flew the mines towards the pineapple direction.
"OH! NO!"
~~BOOM!!!!~~
The `kouchou' principal crawled away in black soot.
"I shall return with more TRAPS! Just you wait!" his mouth puffed out more soot.
Ukyou pulled out her huge spatula and started fighting with Kodaichi. Kunou was pulled along by the ropes and kept bumping into rocks.
"HEY!!!~ You forgot about me!!!"
Meanwhile, Akane/Shampoo and Ranma/Ryouga's teams were catching up.
"Pant! Pant! Almost reaching!" the two groups were tired of fighting along the way, realizing they were falling behind the other two teams and ran all the way after them.
"HEY! The other two teams are approaching.!" Kunou called as he was dragged along the ground.
"QUICK! We must go to the meeting station first!" Ukyou pulled Kunou up and ran all the way there.
Kodaichi suddenly pulled the dizzy Mousse out from the sand, tied his foot to hers and raced after them.
"NANI?!?! Like this also can?!?!" Ryouga screamed with disbelief.
~~~ STATION POINT ~~~
Cologne was already standing there. None of the participants have their coconuts slashed.
"Duh?!?! That's a rare case," Cologne muttered.
"HEY!! O' BAA BAAA!!!" Kunou, Ranma and Ryouga (Mousse had not recovered from the suffocation being buried in the sand for so long) protested: "I thought this stupid competition should end by now! Conclude the results NOW!!!"
"Uh-uh!!" Cologne looked around: "See, all the teams have arrived at the SAME time and none of your coconuts was slashed by rival team. So that means there's neither winner nor loser!"
"So how, great grandmother?" Shampoo called.
"Hey, Is that Tetsusaiga over there?" Ukyou called looking at a direction.
A blade of a saw was penetrating and sawing the wooden plank where the sword was placed.
Ranma reached over and snatched the sword from the ground before it fell together with the sawed floor.
"Happousai," Ranma growled: "Is that you again?"
He strikes the sawed floor, causing a hole to appear and struck his head inside. A panda with two round glasses band quickly left the area. It was Genma.
"STUPID OLD MAN! COME BACK HERE!!!" Ranma called and ran after him.
"Ranma is so CUNNING!!! He's running away with the Tetsusaiga!!!!" Shampoo screamed.
"Tee hee hee hee!" Thought Ranma: "This sword's gonna be mine!!"
He drew out the sword. It was a wooden one with words written on it.
It said: 'YOU ARE FOOLED, DIM-WIT!!!!'
Cologne casually took out the real Tetsusaiga from her back.
"The real sword is here, great grandson-in-law!"
"And it's now mine!!!" A wind of black roses whirled around the room and Kodaichi swung the sword in her lace and ran away.
"SHAMPOOOOOO!!!!" Mousse suddenly woke up and grabbed Kodaichi by her waist.
"GOOD TRY, MOUSSE!!!" Ryouga called and reached for the sword. It turned out to be Kunou's wooden sword.
"HUHH?!?!"
"Hee, hee!!! It's now MINE!!" Kunou screamed happily and started to run. Fearing it could be a fake sword; he drew it out of its scabbard.
"It.. It." Kunou stammered.
It was a blunt-looking sword with irregular edges.
"HEY!~" Kunou called, looking bored: "Are you sure this is the sword that can slay thousands of youkai in one go? O' baa baaa??? I bet it can't even cut a grape into two."
All the people (except Cologne) looked on, shocked.
"Huh!" Ranma rubbed his forehead: "I think you have us on again, old baa baa."
"Hah? Is this the sword I have been thinking day and night?!?!" Ryouga cried; feeling cheated.
"Uh-huh! That's Tetsusaiga-the sword that can slay thousands of youkai in one go!" Cologne said confidently: "Humpt! And this is the second test!"
"Shampoo has the instruction of using Tetsusaiga with her. Who ever wins her heart shall own the sword!"
"HEY! That's not fair!! What about us?!" Kodaichi protested.
"Uh-huh! That's your own problem!" Cologne continued. She thought: 'In this way, Great grandson-in-law will have to please Shampoo by agreeing to marry her. Huh! Huh!'
"Huh? Is this the one?" Shampoo searched her pocket and her face changed colour.
"What is it, Shampoo?"
"It.. it." She stammered.
"The secret manual of using Tetsusaiga..." Kunou read.
"..." Ranma and Ryouga glared hard at Kunou.
"...." Shampoo, Kodaichi, Akane and Ukyou glared at Kunou.
He had unknowingly snatched the book from Shampoo during the coconut- slashing race.
"It seems that there's only one thing to do.." Ranma said seriously.
He downed a pail of cold water over his head turning into female Ranma.
"KUNOU SENIOR, MY DEARRRRRRR!" She called, running towards Kunou in open arms.
"RANMA'S SO CUNNING!!!!!!" Ryouga and Shampoo screamed.
"AH! My pig-tailed girl!!!" Kunou cried out happily in tears, preparing to receive his dream girl.
"HEE!" Ranma kicked him in his face and snatched the book.
"Now, let's see what's inside!" She said eagerly, flipping the pages.
"..."
"What is it, Ranma?" Ryouga and Mousse questioned anxiously.
"Errrr.."
Ryouga snatched the book from Ranma and read. *Sweat-drop*
The words were represented by symbols of circles and crosses.
"Hey!" Ukyou said: "How did you know what it's writing about?!"
"Duh?!" Cologne remembered: "My great-grandmother translated it for me! She said it was the last surviving book left by Sango Sama."
~~~~ 500 YEARS EARLIER IN FEUDAL JAPAN ~~~~
"OI, Sango!" Inuyasha called.
"What~?" Sango answered, looking bored.
"Do you know how to write 'worry'?"
"Why do you ask?"
"FEH! Are you helping me or not?"
"Duh..."
"OI!"
Sango ran speedily away. Inuyasha leaped and stood before her.
"Hey, Sango! Why aren't you answering me?"
"Duh, why should I tell you?!?!"
"Uh-huh!" Inuyasha guessed: "You do not know how to write, am I correct?!"
~~ FIERY GLARE FROM SANGO ~~
~~~~~~ 500 YEARS BACK IN PRESENT JAPAN ~~~~~~
"Ano," Akane began: "So how are we going to do now?"
"Ahem!" Cologne coughed: "Since none of you people can appreciate this treasure, I'm keeping it with me."
She swept a glance at the people in the room: "It seems that none of you are destined to use. I'm going to save it for Shampoo."
"Oh no!" A voice boomed above her, snatching Tetsusaiga again from her. It was Happousai. "It's coming with ME!! BUA HA HA HA HA!!!!"
"Oh no," Cologne thought anxiously: "Happousai seemed to know something about this sword!"
"Because!" Genma and Souun appeared from nowhere and cried out anxiously: "One of his ancestor, Miroku-sama has left a book about THAT sword!!!!!!"
~~~~ 500 YEARS EARLIER IN FEUDAL JAPAN ~~~~
"HA CHOOOOOOOOOO.....~~~~!!!" Miroku sneezed while he tried to touch some women's butt again.
~~~~~~ 500 YEARS BACK IN PRESENT JAPAN ~~~~~~
"Tee hee hee!!!!" Happousai laughed, holding the sword in his hand: "You people are the ignorant lots! I'm going to make FULL use of Tetsusaiga!"
Happousai stood on a safe spot: "Cologne's all wrong about its legend!!! Let me tell you the REAL origin of Tetsusaiga! DUMB-WITS!!!! Listen to my real explanations!"
~~~~ HAPPOUSAI'S DESCRIPTION ~~~~~
500 years ago in Warring Feudal Japan. A fierce and powerful Inu youkai lord from the Western Country came and invaded a clan that excelled in destroying youkai. This Inu youkai lord enjoyed eating people with youkai- eliminating power. All but one survived, and she was in great danger. A handsome priest came to her rescue.
(Two arrows pointed at the couple):
Miroku- 18 years old, handsome, powerful and sexy. He was the most skilful priest during the time.
Sango- 17 years old, beautiful and stunning. She was the last surviving youkai eliminator in her clan.
(An arrow pointing at the youkai):
Inuyasha, 320 years old Inu youkai, he was the most powerful youkai in Warring Japan. His favourite hobby was to destroy powerful youkai- eliminating clans he could find. He had a pair of big red eyes, two curving horns on his head, hair as white as snow and mouth full of sharp fangs. His claws were as sharp as knives and he wore in red kimono.
Under the powerful Miroku-Houshi's assistance, the evil Inuyasha was finally defeated.
Inuyasha roared, laughed and groaned in pain (all at the same time, wonder how Happousai imagine that): You have destroyed my physical body, but my spirit shall haunt the world FOREVER!!! BUA HA HA HA!!!!
Then he died.
Sango cried out (clasping her hand with sparkling eyes full of tears of happiness): " You are MY HERO!!! You have saved my life! May I know your name?"
Miroku-sama (with sparkling background) said in a charming voice: My name is Miroku; you are safe from that evil youkai-Inuyasha, my lady.
To prevent the evil Inu youkai from reviving, Miroku created a youkai sword using Inuyasha's bones and fangs. To make sure that no one can use it to create evil, he set a spell on it so that people without the youkai's blood can make full use of the sword. He named it Tetsusaiga. Sango was very much attracted to the power of Tetsusaiga. One fateful night, she stole the sword and escaped to China where she stayed ever since.
The sorrowful Miroku searched the sword but in vain. Before his death, he left a will to his descendents, asking them to recover the sword for it belonged to him and NOT Sango.
~~~~ END OF HAPPOUSAI'S DESCRIPTION ~~~~~
"Sob! Sob!" Ukyou pulled out her tissues: "I never know there's such a touching story behind the sword's origin!"
"Hey!" Ranma complained: "Baa baa and Happousai have their own sayings. Whose explanation is correct?"
"Oh, that Inuyasha's really up to no good! If Happousai's legend is correct, that Sango's even worse than Inuyasha-the Inu youkai," added Ryouga.
"It's a blessing that Inuyasha was destroyed or the entire Tokyo's in deep trouble," Mousse nodded.
~~~~~~ 500 YEARS BACK IN PRESENT JAPAN ~~~~~~
Inuyasha, Kagome, Shippou, Miroku and Sango returned to the bone-eating well to check if it had regained its time-travel power. After a few days of depression, Kagome had finally lifted her spirits and started talking with the rest of them.
As they approached the well, Inuyasha, Miroku and Sango sneezed together.
"Kagome, why are they sneezing again?" Shippou asked on her shoulder.
"I dunno either," Kagome shrugged.
"Heh! This is the fifth time I sneeze today!" Inuyasha complained.
"..and it's my third time," Sango continued.
"Plus my second time," added Miroku.
"Someone is scolding us AGAIN!" They concluded together.
The well was in view now. Inuyasha leaped into the well. Kagome followed.
Nothing happened.
Dammit!
~~~~~~ 500 YEARS BACK IN PRESENT JAPAN ~~~~~~
"Oi! Old man! How can you prove that the sword is yours?!" Cologne flumed.
"Tee hee hee!" Happousai wiped out a small bottle: "This is a bottle of youkai blood! By pouring it on the sword, its power will be FULLY activated, you ignorant old baa baa!!!"
"Like this?" Ranma snatched the bottle and emptied its content over the sword.
"HEY!! That's my ancestors' treasure!!!!!!" roared Happousai.
The sword suddenly glowed and shot into the sky.
"OH NO!!! IT'S RUNNING AWAY!!!!!" The group screamed and ran after the flying sword.
They ran across the street and many people stared hard at the strange people. Vehicles honked and some passingbys complained, but they did not stop.
Unfortunately, the sword was too fast and disappeared among the greenery.
The people leaped and searched beyond the trees. There were a number of buildings in the sub-urban region of Tokyo including some houses and a shrine.
Disappointed, they returned home.
"It's all your fault!" They started to push blames among one another.
Unknowingly, Tetsusaiga had flown into the bone eating well in Kagome's shrine, struck its blade into the ground of the well and transformed into stone.
At the other end of the well, Inuyasha and Kagome found the ground shining in brilliant violet and they returned back to present Japan.
"I'm finally home!!" Kagome said, her eyes welling with tears. None of them noticed the stone sword
"Huh?" Inuyasha raised his head.
~~~~~~~~SPLASHHHHHHHHHH~~~~~~~~~~~
Something wet and stinky splashed onto them. It smelt like wine with something else added on it.
"Ah, Kagome! You are back!" Kagome's grandfather called from above: "My spell works!!"
"Nee-chan, we have been waiting for you here for days. You have missed your mock examinations.." her brother, Souta continued.
"Grrr.. Jii-chan, I'm glad you are worry for me, but can you do it in some other wayyyyyy....????" Kagome groaned in her wet and sour clothes: "Right, Inuyasha..? Inuyasha?!"
Inuyasha had collapsed in the well (NOTE: he was highly sensitive of anything stinky).
The Tetsusaiga Race~ To be continued....