I don't know what possesses me, to post this story here on ff.net, too, but I do. Well, of course I know. My hunger for reviews, which is ravening:-)
This piece was written as a response to a challenge on snapeslash on yahoo which read thus:
"The Daily Prophet is proud to announce the grand opening of 'The Polyjuice Playhouse' specializing in erotic adventure.
Just bring in a token of your dream lover and our Veela trained staff will help you live out your ultimate fantasy. We are licensed and bonded so we can guarantee your privacy. Appointment required."
The challenge is to show who goes there and how do they get the required token to make the polyjuiced work.
Well, I thought I could write something short and smutty. Well, the thing sure is smutty, just the safe side of R perhaps, but short it is not, and it dragged me along to most interesting places I hadn't visited before.
Beware: Will become slash, male/male-relationship, although it might seem otherwise for the time being:-)
One person is of course the beloved potions master, the other one involved is – I can't say that, it would spoil it all. Frequent mention of all people known to you.
So please feed my avaricious appetite, please:-)
People you reconnize in there belong to J.K. Rowling, as always, I shall return them safe and unharmed. It's all a joke, really:-)
********************************
Misery
"The world is treating me bad, misery" (Motto for Sev, Beatles)
"Listen, do you want to know a secret, do you promise not to tell" (Motto for story, Beatles)
"The Daily Prophet is proud to announce the grand opening of 'The Polyjuice Playhouse' specializing in erotic adventure.
Just bring in a token of your dream lover and our Veela trained staff will help you live out your ultimate fantasy. We are licensed and bonded so we can guarantee your privacy. Appointment required."
Severus Snape sneered. Of all the utterly superfluous things in the world – werewolves, former prisoners of Azkaban, boys who lived, Weasleys coming in all assortments -, this was a sure bet to win his private cup. Well the whole paper in itself was, why on earth had he grabbed it? Oh, to make sure Albus didn't talk to him. He still bore him some ill will for his latest epiphany. A marriage in the Weasley family was nothing to look forward to. More breeding would only lead to disaster and disaster would strike at Hogwarts, the safest place on earth as the very old and slightly obsolete saying went. And who would be here to prevent further damage? Oh please.
Severus threw the paper his obstinate hand was still clutching on the table and fled the room with his usual gliding movements, fortified with an anger he really couldn't fathom. Why was he so upset? The world was up to no good, as usual. It was silly to let that get to you. Must be the abuse of polyjuice potion, he surmised. That particular potion was not so easy to make, the ingredients being rather obscure, and see hard work go to waste like that, for a trifle such as sexual amusement – it was enough to anger the most peaceful of men, let alone a potions master with a rather nasty temper.
Of course everybody else was highly excited. Even Albus. Well, of course Albus especially. And the children. And the teachers. The news had spread - how many of the abominable papers were there? He confiscated eleven alone on one day and set each of them on fire. Very satisfying. But each incineration seemed to breed only new copies of the dismal thing. He fumed even more than usual this evening, poking his Brussels sprouts morosely and glaring at a perfectly fine steak. Well, the steak had been fine until it met the eye of the potions master. After this the poor thing was charcoaled and nobody would look at it twice. Snape couldn't endure the whispers and the chatter one minute longer. He left the great hall, with his last glare seeing Granger boasting of how difficult Polyjuice potion was to make and how odd it was to waste it like that. Her partners, who wore a rather glazed look, didn't seem impressed. Neither was Severus, even if he was inclined to not find Granger such a complete and utterly nerve-wrecking know it all as usual.