~ The Corridor Outside The Library ~
Draco hurried down the corridor, hoping he could exit the castle before Harry could come after him. His trunk floated along behind him, clearly publicising his intentions. Luckily it was quite late and no one was around. It was after curfew so the students were all in their dorms and the teachers had retired for the night.
As he was passing the library, he noticed someone walking towards him. He bowed his head and kept walking, hoping they wouldn't take any notice of him.
"Draco?"
Damn. And it was Hermione too. Of all the luck…
"Hello," he said guardedly.
Hermione's eyes swept over his trunk and then she stared at him incredulously. "What the hell do you think you're doing, Draco?"
"Look, I don't want a lecture about it, but I'm going away for a while. Harry and I need our space," Draco said exasperatedly.
"Did Harry agree with this?" she asked suspiciously.
"Not really," he hedged. "But I'm doing it for his own good."
"What's good for Harry is for his husband to be by his side," Hermione said sternly as she crossed her arms.
"Oh really, and where was this attitude when he was locked up in a cell like some animal?" Draco replied, his eyes flashing angrily.
There was a horrified silence.
Hermione's eyes pleaded with him for understanding. "Draco, you know how much I regret that. I was doing what I thought was best at the time."
"Yeah, well, regrets don't help me now," Draco snapped.
"Draco, you can resent me all you like but don't walk out on Harry. Not on Jeremy's birthday."
"So you're saying I should wait until tomorrow."
"No, I'm saying you should not leave at all."
"He's better off without me."
"He will die without you."
"He seemed to survive two years pretty well without me."
"They were exceptional circumstances," she exclaimed. "Firstly, most of that time he was drugged up to his eyeballs and didn't have a clue what was going on and secondly, when he wasn't drugged, his only thoughts were to get back to you. It kept him going. Take that hope away from him and he'll wither away to nothing."
"But the children…"
"Will probably end up being cared for by Auntie Mione and Uncle Ron."
Draco was horrified by what he thought she was implying. "He wouldn't abandon them!"
"Of course not," Hermione snapped impatiently before gentling her tone somewhat. "But you are his reason for living, take that away and no matter how much he loves those kids, he won't be able to go on."
"It's killing me too, to go I mean," his voice cracked. "I don't want to but if it-"
"It's not going to achieve anything. You will only break his heart and ultimately, break him."
That was something to think about. Draco knew that Harry was the type of guy who loved someone with everything inside of him. Losing that person meant that he would lose everything…
Draco sighed and felt pain and self-loathing well up inside of him, overwhelming him to the point of tears. "But I didn't help him. I didn't try very hard to find him and then when he came back, I acted like nothing had happened, I treated him…like…like the same old Harry. Only he isn't. He's more fragile, even though he works so hard to hide it, I can see it."
He felt Hermione's arms surround him and envelope him in warmth and love. "So make it up to him. Grovel like you've never grovelled before and make him see that he is the most important person in your life. You are surrounded by people who will willingly baby-sit if you need time alone with him."
Draco sniffled against her shoulder.
"Love him with everything inside of you Draco and make up for lost time," Hermione advised. "I know where you're coming from Draco. I feel the same thing, although obviously not as deeply as you do. I'm the one who convinced you not to look any harder for him. I have a lot to make up for as well. And I plan to do that by looking after Daniel and Jeremy as often as you need to make things right with Harry. Starting tonight."
"What?" Draco asked, pulling away from the witch in confusion.
"We're going back to your rooms and I'm going to take Daniel and Jeremy for a sleep over at my place," Hermione replied firmly.
"But Jeremy needs to bond with her parents," Draco said, knowing how stupid that comment was considering the fact that he'd been planning to leave.
"What both of those kids need is parents who love each other unconditionally and free of baggage," Hermione said, turning him around and marching him back down the corridor, Draco's trunk following along behind them.
~ Harry and Draco's Living Room ~
They entered the living room and the first thing Draco noticed was Harry slumped over his desk, drooling slightly on a piece of parchment.
"Oh." The sentimental sigh escaped him without him realising it as he stared at his husband.
Hermione headed straight for Daniel's room and a minute later, the sleepy little boy stumbled out of his room, one hand clutching his Elmo doll and the other rubbing his eyes.
"Dad?" he said, gazing blearily up at his father.
Draco knelt down on the floor before his son and reached out to pull him into a hug. How on earth could he have seriously contemplated leaving the child who had been the centre of his world for so long?
"You are going to have so much fun with Bella," Draco said softly.
"Bella! Yay!" Daniel cried as Draco shushed him, casting a quick glance up at Harry. The Gryffindor didn't wake. The poor darling was obviously exhausted.
Hermione exited Daniel's room with a bag and headed straight into Jeremy's room. A few minutes later, she appeared with the baby in her arms and the bag over her shoulder.
"Come on, Daniel, let's go see Isabella," she said, grinning at the boy to reassure him about their late night escapade.
Draco kissed the top of Daniel's head, then the three of them left and Draco was left alone with his sleeping husband and his conscience.
Draco stepped uncertainly towards Harry. He knelt down beside the desk and tentatively reached out a hand and trailed his fingertips over Harry's cheekbone.
So beautiful.
"I'm sorry, Harry," he whispered. "I'm so sorry."
His fingertips softly grazed over Harry's features, his eyes taking in every line, every contour on Harry's face.
"Harry," he called, not wanting to say all he needed to say while his husband was sleeping.
The Gryffindor didn't move.
"HARRY."
"Huh, what, what's wrong?" Harry sat up quickly, looking disoriented with the Marauder's Map stuck to his cheek. He ripped the map off his face and glanced around. He froze when he saw Draco still kneeling beside him. "D…Draco?"
"Yeah, it's me," he said hesitantly. "I think it's my turn to talk."
Harry just stared at him with wide uncertain green eyes. Draco slipped his hand in Harry's and led him over to the couch. They both sat down with about two feet of couch between them.
Draco lifted his legs up onto the couch and sat facing Harry with his legs crossed. He leant forward, resting his forearms on his knees and earnestly began speaking.
"I know I have a lot to make up for. You have every right to be mad at me……I spent two years being told, not just by Mione, but by everyone except Ron, that you had deserted me and that I was the victim."
He paused.
"I'm not trying to make excuses for my behaviour. I'm just telling you my reasons…about what happened at the time. It's up to you whether you forgive me or not."
Harry still looked interested so Draco continued.
"I…I came to believe it. Your journal seemed to support their theory and well, I'm ashamed to say that I believed them. Then, when you came back, you pretty much shot that theory to pieces. Suddenly, I was the bad guy, the one who didn't care enough about his husband to at least have a decent look for him. I…didn't like being that guy, so I pushed all that away and clung to the idea of me as the victim. It was easier that way."
Draco glanced down, unable to stomach Harry's concerned gaze any longer. He didn't deserve Harry's concern.
"So I continued to act the way I've always done. I even went so far as to blame you for the entire thing, as if it was your fault that you got kidnapped. The truth is, acting like that made me feel sick. It ate away at me inside until I felt like I would go insane. Most days I was able to push the whole thing aside and pretend that it had never happened. Especially when you were pregnant and having those mood swings."
Draco looked up and saw that Harry looked mildly indignant but he didn't comment, almost as if he were afraid that if Draco stopped talking, he wouldn't start again.
"I'm so sorry, Harry. I wish I could go back in time and save you but I can't. Dumbledore won't let me borrow his TimeTurner. After the investigator gave us his report, which basically told us nothing, I went to him and asked if I could use it to go back in time and make sure you didn't leave. But he didn't let me. Told me it would cause a rip in the time/space continuum or some such nonsense. I never did understand why he was so against it, but I guess if I had have gone back and kept you here, things would have gone differently and we wouldn't have Jeremy."
Harry reached out and slipped his hand into Draco's, threading their fingers together. Draco uncrossed his legs and slipped down on the floor to kneel before him, clasping Harry's hand in both of his.
"I swear I will spend every day of the rest of my life making sure you're happy, if you'll forgive me. I know I don't deserve forgiveness but I'm asking anyway because I love you. It kills me inside to think of everything you've been through. Please let me try to make it up to you."
Draco held his breath as he watched Harry lean forward and press his lips against Draco's forehead, his free hand cupping Draco's cheek.
"The kids?" Harry asked softly.
"With Ron and Mione," Draco replied uncertainly.
"Good. Because the first thing you can do is make love to me. I want you to worship me. I want to feel like the only thing you are concerned with tonight is giving me pleasure," Harry said, standing up and tugging Draco up too.
Draco hesitated. "Are you saying you forgive me?"
Harry smiled. "Was there ever any doubt that I would?"
Draco tried to smile back but found that he couldn't. This was too important to joke about. His emotions were too raw to play with.
"I love you, Draco. Of course I forgive you," Harry said gently, resting his hand on Draco's cheek. "But don't think you're getting off easy. I have plans for you, my dragon."
Draco smiled tremulously. "Anything. I'll do anything."
"Come on, gorgeous," Harry said with a delightfully wicked grin. He pulled Draco into the bedroom and slammed the door shut behind them.
The End
A.N. The sequel (one chapter only) is coming soon!
Oh, and I've been having trouble with my email lately, so if you sent me an email, I haven't got it. It's fixed now though. :)