Early Retirement
Disclaimer – See Chapter One
Early Retirement
Bail Organa strode down the main hall of the living quarters of Alderran's royal palace. Turning the corner at the end, he found Obi-Wan right where he expected to, standing in his usual spot staring out at the formal gardens. Behind him, sitting on a cushioned bench against the wall sat his wife Jerika. Unlike her husband, the former smuggler was busy with some form of primitive stichery. While the Jedi seemed content to stare out at Alderran's vistas for hours on end with nothing else to divert him, she always had something in her hands. They seldom spoke, but the only time in the past year he had found them apart, was during the birth of the twins.
Obi-Wan had sat outside with Bail, the two of them silently sharing a bottle of Malastarian brandy. Jerika was inside with the other women and it was she who came out when the action was over. Walking silently up to them she took the bottle from Bail, downed the last third of it and said to Obi-Wan, "The boy was first, he's fair like An – like his father. The girl's dark like her mother." Obi-Wan nodded, climbed wearily to his feet, started for the room, then stopped suddenly and kissed her deeply. For that one moment they held each other tightly and then he went into the bedroom and she took his seat on the bench. Bail realized it was the actions of grandparents; ones whose only child is dead and now must love his children instead.
Coming back to the present with a jerk he spoke softly, "I've had word from Coruscant."
"The emperor finally started looking for us has he?" Kenobi spoke without looking up.
"Yes, and he has a new chief of intelligence in charge of the search, Darth Vader." Obi-Wan spun towards him, his normally pale features so colorless as to be termed gray.
"No! It cannot be true! I-I saw him die, felt him pass into the Force!" Kenobi grabbed the front of Bail's shirt and actually dragged him off his feet, lifting the taller man up and shaking him. Bail grunted and tried to pull the other man's hands away to no avail. Jerika ran up beside them, sucking her thumb for some reason and pulled on Obi-Wan's shoulder.
"Stop! Ben put him down!" She punched him once in the shoulder for emphasis. It worked, Kenobi focused on Bail and a look of profound weariness filled his face. He lowered the man to the ground and sighed. Then he turned slowly to Jerika, buried his face on her shoulder and began to weep. Not the silent grieving that Bail had once seen, that sort of noble suffering he'd done when the Jedi temple had been pulled down. This was agony, pure and simple, in all its ugly harshness. His hands clutched at the cloth of her tunic, the tough fabric tearing at the seams as he clenched his fists so tightly he appeared to be trying to push his bones through his skin.
Great braying sobs issued from the grieving man and his shoulders shook as though he was about to fly to pieces. They echoed down the great marble corridors, ricocheting back and forth until Bail imagined that this was the sound of the Force itself crying out its grief.
Jerika held him, not a spark of emotion showing on her face. One arm encircled his waist tightly, the other wrapped around his shoulder, her hand slowly stroking his hair. Silent tears flowed down her cheeks unheeded.
Bail stared at her uncomprehending, his eyes begging an answer. She met his gaze and whispered, "He turned, but Obi-Wan brought him back, he did. He died, but he died a Jedi. The emperor must have, must have – " Jerika's eyes closed and her face crumpled as she too began to shake.
"But what do you mean? What has that go to do with this Vader person?" Bail stared at them in confusion.
Obi-Wan lifted his face from Jerika's shoulder, but it was a face Bail didn't recognize. It was the face of a man who has gone through the most unimaginable of horrors and lived to tell the tale, managed to salvage something from it, only to realize the one great accomplishment of his life has turned into the greatest horror of all. "Vader…is…Anakin." And he straightened, shoved Jerika to one side, strode to the wall and picked up the bench she had been sitting on (it was marble and Bail estimated it weighed as much a full-grown bantha), carried it back across the room, gaining momentum as he did, and hurled the bench through the window. Bail turned away, but even as he did he saw that Obi-Wan was shielding them from the fragments.
The resulting crash was tremendous. The ceiling was five meters above their heads and Obi-Wan had managed to hit the window about mid level so the entire section, about three meters wide, exploded out into the gardens. He walked to the edge of the window, and for a moment Bail thought he was going to jump, (they were three stories up) but instead he opened his mouth and screamed, "PALPATINE! You won't succeed, you won't! You may have taken my children, but you won't take Anakin's! I'll protect them, and when they've grown they'll destroy you! The Jedi will rise again! You won't defeat me! The Jedi will return and your evil will die! I swear it!" He fell to his knees, heedless of the broken glass, "I swear it!" He sobbed.
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I watched him pace back and forth before the bed, wondering if the carpet could withstand his abuse or if it would give out and just the let the floor take over. Perhaps the only room of its kind in the royal palace of Alderran the walls were hung with tapestries depicting nighttime scenes of ancient Jedi knights engaged in battle with light sabers blazing. Where the walls could be seen the stonework was old and deep gray in color. The carpets were a dark wine red as were the draperies that were usually kept closed. Our bed sat at one end of the room, huge and built of a wood so dark it looked black, it was draped with heavy, dark quilts and we could sleep comfortably all night without touching. On the other end of the room was a large table of the same dark wood. Data pads, maps, empty glasses, and other old bits that made up the paperwork side of war covered its surface, making it nearly impossible to see the top of the table. Above all this hung from the vaulted ceiling a massive chandelier of some black metal that made it look like an enormous spider's web. Although it blazed with thirty or so lights, it could do little to dispel the gloom.
The rest of the palace was nothing like this. You found nothing but fluted columns and white marble in the other rooms and halls. Only here in our inner sanctum did you find such darkness. According to his current mood, I couldn't be surprised that Obi-Wan chose this room. I sat on the bench before the room's only window, working on my newest piece of embroidery and watching my husband wear holes in the carpet. He had been like this for the last week, ever since we heard of the emperor's new right hand man. The worry was starting to eat away at what was left of my sanity, but I refused to argue with him about this. If he wanted to act like a caged shiska-cat I would not fight him, strangle him in his sleep, but never fight him.
Apparently my silence had at last penetrated his consciousness for he suddenly turned to me, "I have a plan."
"About time." I didn't look up from my stitching for more than a quick glance, seeing him actually holding still.
"We will separate them."
"Separate who, dear?"
"The twins. I will leave Leia here with Padme. She can pose as one of Analya Organa's handmaidens and still watch over the girl."
"I'm sure that will be a very popular decision." My hands continued their busy work, "And Luke?"
"I'll take him myself and give him to some one else to raise, then stay nearby to protect him." He began pacing again, chewing on his thumbnail. "There's one place where his father will never go to look for him, no matter how badly he'd like to."
"Tatooine."
He whirled about, the most emotion he'd shown me in weeks plain on his face. "Damn you're quick woman!"
"Thanks, I try to pay attention to what's going on around me most of the time." I answered calmly, despite the fact that I had stopped sewing so I could simply hold my hands still lest he see them shaking. As per usual lately, he completely missed the implied criticism in the statement.
Turning, he clasped his hands behind his back and studied the hanging on the wall across from my window. It depicted a Jedi and a Sith locked in battle. Drawn with a silver outline, the Sith was a black shape with a white snarling face that barely showed within the cowl of his hood. The Jedi was, of course, all in white, and surrounded by a golden nimbus. His face was serene and his blue blade blazed against the red of the Sith's. The piece was more than a thousand years old, but it looked newly finished – not simply because of its superior quality, but also because the Jedi looked so much like Obi-Wan himself. No surprise at all that it was my favorite and he hated it. Oddly enough, I almost never looked at it, and he stared at it all the time.
"Neither of them will suspect Leia is his daughter, and they won't find Luke and I out there on the edge of the galaxy." He turned back to me, but I was of course still busy with my work. I hadn't – had not looked up at the wall hanging and then at his shoulders, begging him with my eyes to turn to me and hold me again. Why would I do such a thing? "And you'll stay here as well. Padme can blend in, but she's not a fighter. If it comes to defending the girl, that's where you'll come in."
"I think it's a brilliant plan except for one thing."
"What? I didn't leave anyone out…" He fingered his beard thoughtfully.
"I'm not staying here"
His head jerked up and he looked directly at me for the first time in weeks. "And why not?"
"Because I'll stick out like a sore thumb. Your Padme's the chameleon, not me. My work as a spy only succeeded because I continued to be myself. I still smuggled my cargo, I just listened where I shouldn't now and then as well. Remember what a disaster it was the one time I tried to actually go in disguise? 'Jerika the smuggler, sure, everyone knows her! But Jerika the nursemaid?' Why don't I just give myself to the emperor right now?"
At last! A reaction! His eyes bulged and his mouth thinned while his jaw clenched in fury. He stared at me for a moment, then stalked up to me, grabbed me by the upper arms and dragged me bodily from the window seat, shaking me so hard my head snapped back and forth. "You contrary stubborn little…BITCH! Are you ever going to do what I tell you?" He gave me one better shake for emphasis and pulled me close, almost nose to nose.
Suddenly I was closer to him than I'd been in months (except for the day we found out about Anakin, and that lasted for less than a minute). I was torn between wanting to grab him and hold on so tight he couldn't let me go again or pulling away so I could pull back an arm and punch his lights out. Swallowing the tears that threatened to burst from my eyes I croaked out, "I'll do whatever you say, as long as you stop trying to send me away."
He looked suddenly stricken and released my arms. I put my palms flat on his chest before he could turn away, and held his gaze with mine. "You said when we left Coruscant that we'd never be apart again."
Shaking his head, his hands opened and closed in the empty air just outside my arms, "But if you are with me you might-"
"No, its more dangerous here alone. He's going to look for all of us, and I would be a red flag shouting 'Skywalker child!' On the other hand, who's going to look twice at an old retired couple living out in the desert?" I could see him starting to turn away from me again and anger finally raised up to push aside my grief and pain in a burning red tide of fury. "Or maybe you think I deserve some punishment for not following your high and mighty Jedi orders before! You can't blame me for the destruction of the Jedi, but if I hadn't been out of the house then you might have found Anakin-
"I don't think that Del, you know I-"
"And the baby might still be-"
"NO! NEVER!" One minute I was talking to his shoulder, the next he was holding me by the shoulders, shaking me again and shouting in my face. His voice rose in pitch, and became hoarse and weak as it did only when he was truly upset, "Darling Del you must never think that! Never!" He pulled me against him and held me in a crushing grip, still whispering, "Never, never…"
I was still so angry and at the same time relieved to have him holding me again. Love is a big pain in the ass. His whispering voice suddenly penetrated my confusion and I knew what he was doing. Leaning back I looked up at him, brushing the tears off his cheeks and searching through the lines and pain for the truth I had suddenly hit upon. "You blame yourself don't you? For all of it. For Anakin, for the Jedi, for the b-baby…you think its all your fault don't you?"
He looked down at his boots, "Aye, well, isn't it? Who didn't train the boy p-properly, who wouldn't believe and warn people in time? Me. I was the one who dragged you out of your life and into mine, got you pregnant and then didn't stay with you. All my people, all our learning, Ani – Oh Force! It hurts so! – And, our, our little girl…" I wrapped my arms tightly around him and held him as he went completely to pieces. He had never grieved for more than that few minutes back on Coruscant and I realized that his coldness had been this blame eating away at his soul.
Gently, I led him over to the window seat and held him, reveling in the chance to do so. I rocked him and hummed tunelessly, stroking his hair as I leaned my cheek against his shoulder. After what seemed an hour he slowly got control of himself, sitting up and wiping his nose on his sleeve, smiling sheepishly at me.
"Oh that's just disgusting Kenobi. That is the main reason I hate that fucking beard. I suppose you think you're going to kiss me with that mouth?"
He blinked in surprise and then unbelievably, he laughed. "Oh Del!" He hugged me tight and then he did kiss me. "How can you want to spend years in exile with me, after all I've done?"
I shook my head, "I've no idea. You are moody, self-indulgent and you smell like old socks. It must be the sex."
He chuckled and rolled his eyes.
I kissed him lightly, "You are a good man. Circumstances went beyond your control. Could you have forced Anakin not to be angry? You did warn the Jedi something bad was coming and they didn't listen. How is that your fault? And as for our Lilamara, how could you have known what the emperor had planned? What happened happened. I forgive you for whatever you might have done wrong. I love you, don't leave me alone, please."
He sighed and gave it one last desperate try, "And if coming with me gets you killed? If you are here, alive, I can do what I have to, knowing…knowing my love is alive."
Shaking my head again, I moved to press my lips to his forehead and then laid my head on his shoulder. "Asshole. Foolish sodding Jedi hero, what sort of life would that be? I'd rather spend 5 minutes with you in exile than 50 years alone."
"It won't be five minutes, it'll be more like 20 years. I can't ask you to-"
"Good, because you don't have to. I'm going. It'll take more than you to stop me." I lifted my head from his shoulder and looked him right in the eye, smiling confidently.
A sweet, happy, stupid smile formed on his face, making him look suddenly like the boy I'd met all those years ago. "I love you Jerika Lilamara Delorolo Kenobi, you and no one else."
"I love you too Obi-Wan, for a thousand years and beyond."