Highway Fifty-One
Prologue
We've all seen those "Legolas mysteriously falls onto Earth" fics, right? Well, sometimes authors don't finish their fics, riiiiiight? Are you getting my drift? No? Well, then have you ever wondered what happens to Legolas as he is wandering through the streets of New York, or Boston, or Tokyo, or something? If the author leaves off in the middle of the story, and Legolas never gets home. Does everything just fizzle off into nothingness? I think you're beginning to understand. Well, we've done some research on the subject and have discovered that he does not fizzle off into nothingness. He is also not doomed to be glomped by fangirls for all eternity as a hellish punishment. Au contraire, my dear readers. Every time he lands in New York, or Tokyo, or whatever, all he has to do is wait twenty-four hours, and if the fic's getting nowhere, he is automatically transported-somewhere. Somewhere in the deepest darkest regions of North America. No, idiots, not Canada- Area 51. Or, to be more precise, Highway 51. While researching this phenomenon, I had to look this up and find out where exactly Hwy. 51 is. On a map, it passes from Mississippi north to Tennessee, and through a number of small towns outside of Memphis, including the birthplace of Justin Timberlake. Ironic, no? Anyway, this is a nice little highway like any other nice little highway, road rage, screwed-up lights, and all. It is here that Legolas is dropped. Surprisingly, he has no memory of ever being there, which makes it even more eerie. Though many people have spotted him. And several hunters have shot at him. No, he has not been hit by a car or killed, as of yet. (Or has he? Ever wonder what's in those McNuggets you're eating?) So, please prepare to go on an enlightening documentary-ish journey through the Highway Fifty One Stakeout. We decided to take our camera crews and drive the whole of Highway 51 to see if we could spot this rare phenomenon. He is most commonly seen at night, in the vicinity of the Millington to Covington Tennessee areas. Having never been to either of these places, we got lost a few times, but eventually found where we were supposed to be staking out. We split up into three cars (or rather, two trucks and a hummer with floodlights, in case he should run across the road and we could blind him and shoot him with darts) and three groups of three, each patrolling a section of the highway. We also sported a team of 22 local hunters, who offered kindly to search the woods along the highway in eleven groups of two, armed, of course, with tranquilizer darts (hey, they were on sale, and I couldn't resist). So buckle your seatbelts and prepare to find out what roams Hwy. 51 at night.
Prologue
We've all seen those "Legolas mysteriously falls onto Earth" fics, right? Well, sometimes authors don't finish their fics, riiiiiight? Are you getting my drift? No? Well, then have you ever wondered what happens to Legolas as he is wandering through the streets of New York, or Boston, or Tokyo, or something? If the author leaves off in the middle of the story, and Legolas never gets home. Does everything just fizzle off into nothingness? I think you're beginning to understand. Well, we've done some research on the subject and have discovered that he does not fizzle off into nothingness. He is also not doomed to be glomped by fangirls for all eternity as a hellish punishment. Au contraire, my dear readers. Every time he lands in New York, or Tokyo, or whatever, all he has to do is wait twenty-four hours, and if the fic's getting nowhere, he is automatically transported-somewhere. Somewhere in the deepest darkest regions of North America. No, idiots, not Canada- Area 51. Or, to be more precise, Highway 51. While researching this phenomenon, I had to look this up and find out where exactly Hwy. 51 is. On a map, it passes from Mississippi north to Tennessee, and through a number of small towns outside of Memphis, including the birthplace of Justin Timberlake. Ironic, no? Anyway, this is a nice little highway like any other nice little highway, road rage, screwed-up lights, and all. It is here that Legolas is dropped. Surprisingly, he has no memory of ever being there, which makes it even more eerie. Though many people have spotted him. And several hunters have shot at him. No, he has not been hit by a car or killed, as of yet. (Or has he? Ever wonder what's in those McNuggets you're eating?) So, please prepare to go on an enlightening documentary-ish journey through the Highway Fifty One Stakeout. We decided to take our camera crews and drive the whole of Highway 51 to see if we could spot this rare phenomenon. He is most commonly seen at night, in the vicinity of the Millington to Covington Tennessee areas. Having never been to either of these places, we got lost a few times, but eventually found where we were supposed to be staking out. We split up into three cars (or rather, two trucks and a hummer with floodlights, in case he should run across the road and we could blind him and shoot him with darts) and three groups of three, each patrolling a section of the highway. We also sported a team of 22 local hunters, who offered kindly to search the woods along the highway in eleven groups of two, armed, of course, with tranquilizer darts (hey, they were on sale, and I couldn't resist). So buckle your seatbelts and prepare to find out what roams Hwy. 51 at night.