And When We Do?

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The party had broken up, it had been a good idea to have a get together in the mess hall they all needed it. So close to being home and yet so far away.

"I don't recall turning that pan off?" Neelix stopped in mid stride. A small hand touched his chest as he turned.

"I'll go check"

"Sweetie it's my" his words silenced as she touched her finger to his lips

"I'll go your tired having spent all day watching television "laughing she turned and retraced her steps to the mess hall. Neelix watched her for a moment then carried on to his quarters.

Kes entered the mess hall they'd all gone now. The lights were off, but she could see well enough the room lit by the glow of the security night lights. She moved to the cooking area, as she'd thought no pan left on.

Turning to leave a movement caught her attention she went to speak then stopped when she realised it was the Captain.

The Captain had been thoughtful all evening, Kes did not want to disturb her so she waited. She was leaving by the looks of it so she wouldn't need to wait long.

Kathryn bent to place her glass on the table, moving toward the door when something caught her eye. She gasped as she realised what it was and moved toward it.

Kes watched wondering what had caught her attention.

Lifting the jacket in her arms Kathryn ran her hand over it. It was his he must have forgotten it; she smiled as she lifted it to her face and inhaled, it smelled of him. She watched the stars and held his jacket to her cheek. His jacket was comforting, reminding her that not many hours ago he'd been wearing it as they walked in the sunshine of Earth. His hand had rested on her back guiding protecting? It had been nice to be that close, not to have to keep the distance as they did on the ship.

Kes watched as the Captain picked up Chakotay's jacket. She realised that what she was watching was not meant to be seen, but she was fascinated and could not bring herself to look away.

Watching her now silhouetted in the window holding the jacket.

She could feel the sadness the feeling so intense tears formed in Kes's eyes.

Was Chakotay aware how much she loves him.

The door opened and Chakotay came in entering briskly he obviously hadn't expected to find any one still there. He stopped "Hello" his eyes accustomed themselves to the dim room, he spoke softly as he realised who it was.

"Captain" he moved toward her he'd seen the jacket in her hands. They were close now and Kes wished she could leave but she couldn't without them seeing her. So she stayed. She almost cried out when he spoke she'd never heard anyone call her anything but Captain.

"Kathryn" his voice and actions told her that Chakotay was not only aware of the Captains feelings but reciprocated them. Realising for the first time, he must use her name, not her title only when they were alone.

"My jacket" he spoke softly and extended his hand to take the jacket. Kes watched as his fingers almost touched hers he took the jacket draping it over his arm.

"I just found it" the Captains voice was softer than Kes had ever heard it then it struck her the voice she was hearing was Kathryn's and not the Captain's.

"I forgot it"

"Yes"

Kes watched neither of them moved, the room was filled with love Kes could almost touch it.

"Nice feeling walking on Earth" as he spoke he moved closer, the Captain changed her position lowering her head as she did, almost but not quite resting her fore-head on his chest. He did not move.

"I have to get them home" her voice so shaky Kes wiped a tear from her face as she heard it.

"I know and we will" he took a breathe as if smelling her hair his voice soft but confident then he spoke again almost teasing "we were there today, we can be again"

"And when we get there?" She lifted her head and locked her eyes with his.

"And when we get there, what Kathryn?" his voice teasing her and she smiled

"Tell me what we'll do? when we get home Chakotay" she took a breathe waiting

He laughed. It was a nice laugh and Kes realised the question had been answered before with an answer they both knew. It was a game they had played before.

When it happened Kes felt the power of the attraction as;

The Captain raised her hand and for the first time they touched as he raised his hand and placed it palm on palm on hers their fingers laced. A gesture they obviously both knew and understood. And now so did Kes. It was a promise.

The Captain was a decisive and focused leader and Kes had always admired her commitment to getting them home.

Now she realised where that strength came from, he was the reason she remained focused and centred. She needed him. And she gave him peace. He had changed since the start of the journey become calmer more at peace. He needed her.

"Just what we'll do?" the voice the Captain used made Kes blush, and Chakotay smile.

"Well when we get home.."he stopped as the door opened and Neelix came in they moved apart and Kes heard their sigh.

Neelix squinted into the darkness "Sweetie" Kes held her breathe "Computer lights" as the lights he'd called for came on Neelix saw them "Ah Captain Commander; I'm looking for Kes"

"Not in here Neelix and we were just leaving"

"Goodnight Neelix" the Captain touched his shoulder as she passed "Goodnight Captain, I wonder where she's got to"

"Hope you find her soon Neelix "

"Thank you Commander and Goodnight"

They left and Kes stepped out the spell had been broken "Neelix"

"Sweetie I didn't see you there what are" he stopped as she moved past him to the doorway

He followed her concern on his face "are you alright"

She didn't answer she watched them walk down the corridor he placed his jacket around her shoulders then turned and walked the other way.

"Must be colder than usual" was all Neelix said as he watched

"No just a long journey home and when they get there" As she spoke tears rolled down her face.

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