If I never claimed it, how can I disclaim it?
It's so beautiful up here. I'd forgotten how quiet it is, so far above the city. Oh, it's good to be back- in a sense.
Don't know what I'm going to do tomorrow. At least I have an option, though. Two weeks at the refuge, I would've had.
Not exactly somewhere I wanted to be- or that would have been good for me. But, through no action of mine, I'm free.
The reporter Denton came and payed us all out. Damn good timing, too. We were walking from the courthouse to Tibby's
when Dares jogged up, panting. He'd come all the way from Brooklyn with the news that over half the boys are real sick.
Including Rabbit.
So here I am, back on this familiar roof with my own thoughts. I'm stretched too thin. No one sees the real me
anymore, covered by reputation and rumor. Everyone knows and fears Spot Conlon. Inside, though, I'm just the next kid.
For no reason I can come up with, this has been one of my best days. I don't really want to think about what would've
done-been doing now- if this had happened yesterday, or two days ago. Maybe I'm getting better. I doubt it, though. I
needed a break from watching him all the time, from being faced with what I can't have at every turn. But…
I can't just leave Brooklyn, but I can't leave Manhattan either. I'm the next in line to lead them, I'm the one they'll
look to.
God knows why.