Author note: someone used the 'T' word in a review, so you bring this on
yourselves (as is commonly known, all reviewers have a hive mind so you
must all pay for the actions of one) ARIGATOU.
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"No matter how innocent you pretend to be people will forever hate and loathe you!" Declared Hisoka. It was something he'd read somewhere. He wasn't sure if it was true though, after all, Muraki could pretend pretty good.
"Ne, Hisoka, that's not faaiiiiirrrrir! It's Muraki's job to be a bad guy, he's meant to be mean! Unlike SOME shinigami who act mean even when they don't have to." Pointed glare.
"I'm not acting innocent." Corrected Muraki. "I'm just being reasonable. Surely it's reasonable for me to order you around as it's blatantly obvious I'm more powerful. It's your absurd refusal of my 'requests' that generally results in me having to exert my power, ultimately resulting in massive destruction and numerous deaths."
Tsuzuki nodded in affirmation.
"Now I suggest you toddle off to Meifu and find that antidote while I ravish Asato-chan." Finished Muraki flicking his wrist in a little shoo-ing motion.
Tsuzuki stopped nodding and whipped his head around so abruptly he dislocated his neck. Luckily for him he still had that shinigami-healing- thing going on, so it would be fine shortly. Unluckily for one Muraki Sensei, this resulted in another bout of drooling.
In Meifu, Tatsumi, napkin in hand, twitched with anticipation for the second time that day. Unable to locate any puppies in need of de-salivating and laughing nervously under Watari's intense scrutiny he tucked the napkin in his pocket before returning to his office.
"I think that's enough fan-service for now." Pouted Hisoka, partially annoyed at being told to 'toddle' and partially annoyed at the transparent bootlick.
In a flash Tatsumi teleported into the hospital room. It was generally not necessary to flash when one teleported, but it was entirely cool. Bending a momentarily adult Tsuzuki backwards he proceeded to do a little oral examination of his own before determining Tsuzuki's tonsils were in fact present.
"That's how you do fanservice." Tatsumi instructed Hisoka, flashing the V sign before teleporting away again.
Hisoka: v_vU
"That . . . interlude . . . " Muraki wrinkled his nose at this. "You will all agree was just plain disturbing, all in favor of striking it from our memories as though it never occurred?" Muraki moved the still dazed Tsuzuki's head to nod in the affirmative.
Hisoka heartily agreed (my partner dammit). There was also the deep-seated fear that if this business continued he may find himself recipient of a rack. Or worse, a half of a rack.
"Motion carried." Declared Muraki, resuming his former position of intimidation. "Ah. Now I believe I was threatening you? Or was I molesting Tsuzuki again . . . ?" Muraki shrugged off his indecision and decided the safest bet was to do both.
"I refuse to leave you alone with Tsuzuki." Hisoka flawlessly picked up his tirade. "Besides if I did return to EnMaCho for the antidote, there's no guarantee you'd release Tsuzuki!" Quite the opposite actually, since Muraki would have the added incentive of being in possession of an adult-size Tsuzuki in a child -sized jumpsuit.
"Well of course I wouldn't release him straight away!" Muraki rolled his eyes. "I'd have to. . . seduce him . . . and 'stuff', first." He finished with slightly pinked cheeks, eyes downcast, and pushing the tips of his index fingers together in a way which would be incredibly adorable on anyone who wasn't a deranged, homicidal, SOB.
"Then how could I possibly be convinced to go?" Smirked Hisoka, finishing his deadly logik attaku.
"I'll let you watch." Muraki sighed melodramatically with the concession.
"EXCUSE ME?" Demanded Hisoka, rosy cheeks betraying he knew exactly what inducement Muraki offered.
"Hisoka!" Accused Tsuzuki, "I never knew you were such a . . . such a . . . HENTAI!" In retrospect Tsuzuki felt it might have been more appropriate to point out how exceptionally unlikely it was that once adultified he would allow Muraki to ravish him, but as the saying goes, 20/20 hindsight.
"As long as Tsuzuki-kun doesn't mind . . . " Continued Muraki, blowing a cowering Tsuzuki a kiss.
"No!" Hisoka shook his head in noncompliance. "Absolutely not."
"My stomach hurts!" Whined Tsuzuki around a chocolate bar he'd managed to wedge into his mouth without mastercatory means.
Muraki and Hisoka looked in unison from the profoundly reduced contents of Tsuzuki's bag, to Tsuzuki's profoundly increased gut.
"Asato-chan . . . I think you've eaten too much."
"It's possible to eat too much?" Queried Tsuzuki with wide eyes. "Yeah right!" He giggled looking to Hisoka who nodded in support. "Oh my god!" He screamed clasping the candy to his chest defensively, "You're serious!"
"Tsuzuki. . . did you take into account your stomach is a lot smaller now?"
"Stop it Hisoka!" Shrieked Tsuzuki, verging on tears. "You're scaring me!"
Whoo! That had to be the grandfather of all sweatdrops on Hisoka's forehead! Had to be a record on Chijou at least (although perhaps not Meifu, which had seen more than its fair share of cataclysmic sweatdrops in the last 70 years).
"I. . . I. . . . don't wanna be a kid no more!" Cried Tsuzuki latching onto Hisoka. "Let's just go home, 'Soka, please?"
"Okay." Remarked Hisoka having just dawned on the fact that Muraki had neither wards nor sufficient hostages to keep them.
"Wait! You can't just leave!" Cursed Muraki. The two (1 and a ½?) shinigami looked at him expectantly. "Er. . . I'll . . . Okay, leave then! But know this isn't over!" He pointed at them dramatically, but Hisoka and Tsuzuki just shrugged before teleporting back to their hotel room.
Muraki sat stunned staring at the empty hospital room. Mere moments later Tsuzuki reappeared, blithely folded and packed the sheets and towels in his rucksack and teleported out again.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"No matter how innocent you pretend to be people will forever hate and loathe you!" Declared Hisoka. It was something he'd read somewhere. He wasn't sure if it was true though, after all, Muraki could pretend pretty good.
"Ne, Hisoka, that's not faaiiiiirrrrir! It's Muraki's job to be a bad guy, he's meant to be mean! Unlike SOME shinigami who act mean even when they don't have to." Pointed glare.
"I'm not acting innocent." Corrected Muraki. "I'm just being reasonable. Surely it's reasonable for me to order you around as it's blatantly obvious I'm more powerful. It's your absurd refusal of my 'requests' that generally results in me having to exert my power, ultimately resulting in massive destruction and numerous deaths."
Tsuzuki nodded in affirmation.
"Now I suggest you toddle off to Meifu and find that antidote while I ravish Asato-chan." Finished Muraki flicking his wrist in a little shoo-ing motion.
Tsuzuki stopped nodding and whipped his head around so abruptly he dislocated his neck. Luckily for him he still had that shinigami-healing- thing going on, so it would be fine shortly. Unluckily for one Muraki Sensei, this resulted in another bout of drooling.
In Meifu, Tatsumi, napkin in hand, twitched with anticipation for the second time that day. Unable to locate any puppies in need of de-salivating and laughing nervously under Watari's intense scrutiny he tucked the napkin in his pocket before returning to his office.
"I think that's enough fan-service for now." Pouted Hisoka, partially annoyed at being told to 'toddle' and partially annoyed at the transparent bootlick.
In a flash Tatsumi teleported into the hospital room. It was generally not necessary to flash when one teleported, but it was entirely cool. Bending a momentarily adult Tsuzuki backwards he proceeded to do a little oral examination of his own before determining Tsuzuki's tonsils were in fact present.
"That's how you do fanservice." Tatsumi instructed Hisoka, flashing the V sign before teleporting away again.
Hisoka: v_vU
"That . . . interlude . . . " Muraki wrinkled his nose at this. "You will all agree was just plain disturbing, all in favor of striking it from our memories as though it never occurred?" Muraki moved the still dazed Tsuzuki's head to nod in the affirmative.
Hisoka heartily agreed (my partner dammit). There was also the deep-seated fear that if this business continued he may find himself recipient of a rack. Or worse, a half of a rack.
"Motion carried." Declared Muraki, resuming his former position of intimidation. "Ah. Now I believe I was threatening you? Or was I molesting Tsuzuki again . . . ?" Muraki shrugged off his indecision and decided the safest bet was to do both.
"I refuse to leave you alone with Tsuzuki." Hisoka flawlessly picked up his tirade. "Besides if I did return to EnMaCho for the antidote, there's no guarantee you'd release Tsuzuki!" Quite the opposite actually, since Muraki would have the added incentive of being in possession of an adult-size Tsuzuki in a child -sized jumpsuit.
"Well of course I wouldn't release him straight away!" Muraki rolled his eyes. "I'd have to. . . seduce him . . . and 'stuff', first." He finished with slightly pinked cheeks, eyes downcast, and pushing the tips of his index fingers together in a way which would be incredibly adorable on anyone who wasn't a deranged, homicidal, SOB.
"Then how could I possibly be convinced to go?" Smirked Hisoka, finishing his deadly logik attaku.
"I'll let you watch." Muraki sighed melodramatically with the concession.
"EXCUSE ME?" Demanded Hisoka, rosy cheeks betraying he knew exactly what inducement Muraki offered.
"Hisoka!" Accused Tsuzuki, "I never knew you were such a . . . such a . . . HENTAI!" In retrospect Tsuzuki felt it might have been more appropriate to point out how exceptionally unlikely it was that once adultified he would allow Muraki to ravish him, but as the saying goes, 20/20 hindsight.
"As long as Tsuzuki-kun doesn't mind . . . " Continued Muraki, blowing a cowering Tsuzuki a kiss.
"No!" Hisoka shook his head in noncompliance. "Absolutely not."
"My stomach hurts!" Whined Tsuzuki around a chocolate bar he'd managed to wedge into his mouth without mastercatory means.
Muraki and Hisoka looked in unison from the profoundly reduced contents of Tsuzuki's bag, to Tsuzuki's profoundly increased gut.
"Asato-chan . . . I think you've eaten too much."
"It's possible to eat too much?" Queried Tsuzuki with wide eyes. "Yeah right!" He giggled looking to Hisoka who nodded in support. "Oh my god!" He screamed clasping the candy to his chest defensively, "You're serious!"
"Tsuzuki. . . did you take into account your stomach is a lot smaller now?"
"Stop it Hisoka!" Shrieked Tsuzuki, verging on tears. "You're scaring me!"
Whoo! That had to be the grandfather of all sweatdrops on Hisoka's forehead! Had to be a record on Chijou at least (although perhaps not Meifu, which had seen more than its fair share of cataclysmic sweatdrops in the last 70 years).
"I. . . I. . . . don't wanna be a kid no more!" Cried Tsuzuki latching onto Hisoka. "Let's just go home, 'Soka, please?"
"Okay." Remarked Hisoka having just dawned on the fact that Muraki had neither wards nor sufficient hostages to keep them.
"Wait! You can't just leave!" Cursed Muraki. The two (1 and a ½?) shinigami looked at him expectantly. "Er. . . I'll . . . Okay, leave then! But know this isn't over!" He pointed at them dramatically, but Hisoka and Tsuzuki just shrugged before teleporting back to their hotel room.
Muraki sat stunned staring at the empty hospital room. Mere moments later Tsuzuki reappeared, blithely folded and packed the sheets and towels in his rucksack and teleported out again.