Title : What If?
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: I don't own the show or any of the characters.
Summary: What if Sydney could reveal to Vaughn how she really felt?
A/N: A short fic - it's only one chapter long. (Some spoilers if you haven't yet seen the ep) Set just after the S/V isolation scene in episode 2-06 'Salvation'.
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I put on my jacket as I stand in front of the monitor, waiting for Dad's hearing to start. I begin to run through in my mind, what I would have said if we hadn't lost the moment because of the doctor walking into the room.
~~~
I go back in time to the image of Vaughn's face, his eyes full of concern and uncertainty when I asked if he thought we were sick.
"Vaughn, can I tell you something?"
"Sure, what is it?" He asks brightly. His concerned expression is still there, but he forces a smile to cover it. I also know it is entirely for my benefit. I take a deep breath before I speak again.
"I wanted to say thank you."
"What for?"
"For everything you've done for me. I really do appreciate it."
"You don't have to thank me." He quietly replies.
All of a sudden it feels as if I am looking at him for the first time. I thought that I knew him, that with just one glance, I'd know what he was thinking and how he was feeling. But as I now look at his face I realise that he hides so much from me.
I quickly sit up and I look down to see my legs dangling from the edge of the bed. I can feel Vaughn's eyes on me as I brush my hair away from my face. I then look around the room and a wistful sigh escapes from my lips.
"I wishI wish everything was different."
Vaughn sits up as well and he looks directly at me. "Everything? Why?"
"Just for a while. To see what my life could be like and also not have to worry about so much."
"Yeah, that sounds good."
"You know if everything was different" My voice trails off when I don't have the courage to finish my sentence. Vaughn doesn't say anything, but I know he understands as he just nods his head.
I then realise that I may not get this chance again. There is an atmosphere of urgency and significance surrounding us that compels me to actually do something. Faltering, hesitant words are not enough anymore.
I jump off the bed I'm sitting on and take the few steps over to where Vaughn is sitting. I take his hands in mine making him stand up too. The room feels small and comforting despite the dark, imposing stone walls and big glass window. I notice how close we are standing, together alone. Vaughn gently smiles at me so I can't help but smile back as I look into his eyes. Nothing else seems to matter to me. In that moment everything is different and for once I feel reckless and free. He wraps his arms around me and I shut my eyes as I move even closer
~~~
"Agent Bristow?" The voice jolts me out of my reverie.
"Huh? What?" I finally manage to answer. I hope I don't look too guilty as I look up from the floor to see a dark-haired man standing next to me.
"It's just that you looked like you were a million miles away. Your father's hearing is about to start."
"I was justdaydreaming, but thanks." I laugh bitterly to myself as I realise that I can't even imagine having the kind of relationship I really want with Vaughn. My eyes follow the dark-haired man as he walks away. I then look around me to see people at their desks, busy working and typing up their reports. I try to focus on the situation in front of me and shake off the feeling of despair. My harsh reality hits me once again as I look up at the monitor waiting for the proceedings to begin.
~~~
The End.