Your Honor, the Crown will now present its case against Boss the Ham-Ham. The Defendant is charged with Prostitution and Endangering a Minor. The Crown calls Bijou the Ham-Ham to take the stand. Miss Bijou, do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth, so help you God?" "Oui." Now Miss Bijou, please tell the members of the Jury what you saw on the night of October the first, 2002?" "Vell, Hamtaro and I vere taking a romantic walk in ze park. Suddenly, ve heard some very disturbing noises coming out from ze bushes. Zen, out came Boss and zat little girl. AND ZE WEREN'T WEARING ANY CLOTHES!" {Jury gasps and starts to whisper} ORDER IN THE COURT! Please go on, Miss Bijou. Vell, they vere kissing and Boss vas doing many unspeakable things to her." {Jury gasps and whispers again.} Boss leaps up. "THAT'S NOT TRUE! I WAS JUST SHOWING HER…" {Jury Boos.} "SIT DOWN, MR.BOSS!"
Later,
Miss Jury Forewoman has the jury reached a verdict?
"Yes we have your Honor. We, the jury, find the defendant, Boss the Ham-Ham, guilty on all charges."
Well, Mr. Boss, I am very disgusted with your behavior. I hereby sentence you to life in prison without the possibility of Perole! {Jury cheers} I hope that Ham-Ham's like you never roam the streets ever again.
Boss: THAT'S NOT TRUE! I WAS JUST SHOWING HER HOW TO…"
Boss is interrupted by Bijou.
Your, Honor, may I approach ze desk?
Judge: Approach.
Bijou: Your Honor, what Boss says is not true. He is not wearing any clothes now.
{Jury gasps}
Boss: THAT'S NOT TRUE! IAM WEARING CLOTHES!
{Jury boos}
Judge: Mr. Boss, I am very disgusted with your behavior! Add Public Disturbance to his list of charges and take him away!"
Boss: Bijou, how could you betray me?
Bijou: Boss, you know zat your behavior was very inappropriate! {Slaps him across the face.}
Hamtaro: AT LAST, BIJOU IS MINE! {Starts kissing her.}
Judge: HEY! GO GET A ROOM!
Hamtaro and Bijou: Fine!
Judge: What is the world coming to? {Starts banging her head against her desk}
Later on the Ham-Ham news:
"The judge that was serving at the Boss the Ham-Ham trial has been taken to a Mental Institution, and is being treated for a mental breakdown. She was taken away, muttering "All Hamsters are evil, must kill all Hamsters…" Apparently, our reporter looks like a Hamster, because she started attacking him. In other news, Oxnard the Ham-Ham has broken the world record for most sunflowers seeds eaten in 24 hours.
THIS JUST IN! BOSS THE HAM-HAM HAS ESCAPED FORM JAIL! HE WAS LAST SEEN BASHING THE PRISON WINDOW WITH HIS SHOVEL, {Don't ask me how he got a shovel into a Maximum Prison} AND RAN DOWN THE STREET TOWARDS THE HAM-HAM CLUBHOSE SCREAMING BLOODY MURDER BECAUSE HAMTARO REPORTEDLY STOLE "HIS GIRL"
Boss starts to thrash Hamtaro with his shovel.
Bijou: STOP ZAT! {Slaps him} GO AWAY! {Slaps him again}
The police come and arrest Boss, and Hamtaro and Bijou go to the Hospital.
The Ham-Ham News.
This just in! Boss the Ham-Ham is dead! He tried to escape with some other inmates when the guards had to use deadly force. There will be no funeral for this disgraceful Ham-Ham. In other news, Hamtaro and Bijou have announced their engagement. The wedding will be in the near future.
What a story, huh? We warned you…
Written by Christine and Alynne.