Chapter 7
Chandler, fully awake and dressed in faded blue jeans and a gray t-shirt, took notice that he was the only one in the apartment. He could tell, just from the neatness and the quiet, that Joey had not been there since yesterday. The fact that his bedroom door was open at 7:00 a.m. further proved his point. He peeked inside and then grinned when he saw Joey's bed hadn't been slept in.
"Way to go, Pheebs."
His thoughts turned to Monica as he put two slices of bread into the toaster and then poured himself a tall glass of orange juice.
She is not going to feel well this morning, he thought with a sympathetic chuckle. Oh yeah. Been there. Done that. Not fun.
As he chewed on his second piece of toast, he decided he would quietly enter her apartment, just to make sure she was all right. If she was still asleep, he would slip out unnoticed after leaving a note for her to call him if she needed anything.
The phone rang; Chandler greeted the caller with a cheery "hello".
"You sound happy," Phoebe said. "What a nice change."
"Well, you sound pretty perky yourself." As if he didn't know why. "What's up?"
"I'm calling to talk to Joey," she said coyly.
"Really? I thought maybe, you know, since it's the weekend, you guys would spend all day together."
"That's why I'm calling. To see if he wants to get together. Why did you make it sound like you thought he was already with me?"
"No," Chandler said quickly, "I-I didn't think that. That's not what I meant."
Okay, so exactly where did Joey spend last night?
"It sounded like it to me. What's going on, Chandler?"
"Nothing. Not a thing. Nothing. Joey...well, he's not here at the moment, but I'll have him call you as soon as he gets back."
"Okay. Hey! Maybe he's on his way over here to surprise me!"
"Maybe."
But I highly doubt it.
"I'll give him your message, Pheebs. I gotta go check on Monica to make sure she's okay."
A confused Chandler hung up the phone. He refused to speculate where his roommate might have spent the night. He'd find out soon enough anyway. He just hoped Phoebe wouldn't end up getting hurt.
*~*
I gotta get out of here was Joey's only thought. He managed, with some difficulty, to remove himself from a still sleeping Monica. Finally able to stand, his body rebelled at the awkward position he had slept in. He moved around and tried to loosen up a bit. He desperately needed to go to the bathroom.
In and out of the bathroom and then I'm outta here.
But he wasn't quick enough.
The door to Apartment 20 opened just as Joey walked out of the bathroom. In a flash, he jumped back into the bathroom, but not before Chandler had seen him.
"What the..."
Joey heard his roommate's angry tone and knew he had to show himself. But when he reappeared, the door to the apartment was wide open and Chandler was gone.
"Oh, man," Joey griped. "Chandler, wait!"
He ran across the hall to their apartment. He looked everywhere, shouting out Chandler's name, but he was nowhere to be found. He figured Chandler, in his rage, had fled the building. He wanted to chase after him, but he knew by the time he put his shoes on, Chandler would be long gone.
"I don't believe this!"
Dejected, Joey returned to Monica's apartment. He was going to leave her a note, explaining what had happened and telling her he'd gone to look for Chandler, but she was awake and trying to sit up on the sofa.
"My head," she complained. "Why did I have to drink so much?"
"Mon, I know you don't feel well, but we've got trouble. Big trouble."
"What? What's wrong? Did something happen to Ross or Rachel?"
"No, it's Chandler."
She tried her hardest to focus on Joey, but he was nothing but a blur to her.
"Ch-Chandler? What happened to Chandler?"
"He just saw me here. I guess he was coming over to check on you. I tried to get out of here without being seen, but I wasn't quick enough."
"We'll tell him the truth. Nothing happened between us. Right?" she asked, hating that she couldn't fully recall the details of the previous night and, therefore, couldn't be certain that nothing had happened.
"Yes, nothing happened between us," Joey said, frustrated that Monica was so out of it when he really needed her to help him, "but me coming out of your bathroom in the morning looks a bit suspicious to someone who already thinks there's something going on between us, wouldn't you say?"
Monica held her head in her hands and emitted a low groan. That had to be the longest sentence she'd ever heard Joey speak. Why had he chosen this particular time to start making so much sense? She couldn't keep up with him. "I suppose. I don't know. I'm too sick to care. Let Chandler believe whatever he wants."
"Noooo!" Joey said, needing Monica to understand. "We just worked everything out, and now it's all messed up again. I gotta find him."
"Maybe he went to his office."
"Good idea. I'll check there first. I may be gone for a while, Mon. Will you be okay by yourself?"
"Yeah," she said, falling back down on the sofa. "Unfortunately, I think I'm going to live."
*~*
Chandler wandered aimlessly as the morning sun beat down on him. He walked with no destination in mind. He just knew he couldn't be anywhere near Monica and Joey. He reached a corner store and stepped in to buy a pack of cigarettes and a lighter.
Why not, he thought bitterly. Smoking had been associated with every bad thing that had ever happened to him. He just added another one to the list.
He lit up a cigarette, enjoyed the first hit more than he knew he should have, and continued walking the streets. He thought about going to Phoebe's, but what would that accomplish? Nothing. So what would be the point? She'd find out the whole sordid truth soon enough.
When he finally stopped moving, he found himself ringing the doorbell of the one person he thought was out of his life for good.
*~*
"Happy?"
"Very."
"Good."
Lounging comfortably in bed in their suite, Rachel sighed contentedly. Every few minutes, her eyes, of their own will, traveled to the exquisite diamond ring on her left hand. She still couldn't quite believe it had happened.
"We're getting married," she said, laying the back of her head against Ross' bare shoulder.
He wrapped his arms around her and held her close.
"I know."
"There's so much to do, but I am going to enjoy every moment of it. You won't hear a complaint out of me, I promise."
Ross chuckled and then kissed the top of her head.
"It's okay if you fret every once in a while. Don't all brides do that? I remember when Carol and I were getting..."
He stopped. Rachel looked up at him.
"What, honey? You can tell me what happened."
"Thanks, but I'd rather not talk about it. I'm too happy. But you know, we do have to tell her and Susan. I definitely want us to spend more time with Ben. You are going to be his step-mom, and he is going to know how very important you are, not only to me but also to him. That's okay with you, right?"
"Of course," Rachel said, turning so she was lying on her stomach, looking up at her intended. "You know I love Ben. I want us to be as close as we can be."
"I love you."
"I love you, too."
"I know we have more to talk about," Ross said, "but let's just forget the world for a little while longer. What do you say?"
"I say I am marrying a very smart man."
*~*
"Oh. My. God. Chandler Bing, what are you doing here?"
He grimaced inwardly at the all too familiar voice, but something inside had propelled him to seek her out.
"Hello, Janice. I'm sorry to show up so unexpectedly, but could I, well, may I come in?"
"Of course."
Janice opened the door wider, allowing Chandler to enter her small but very neat apartment.
"Sit down," she said, after walking with him to the living room. "Can I get you anything?"
"No, thanks. I'm not even sure why I'm here, and I promise I won't stay long. I just...well, actually, I don't know."
Janice laughed; Chandler cringed. Why had he trusted his instincts? When had they ever led him in the right direction?
"I know, my Bingaling. You missed me. You always do. You always come back. Somehow, we always end up in each other's orbits. It's simple, really."
"No-no, it's not. You're a married woman with a child. I respect that. I'm not here because of our past. I'm here because...because..."
"Because of what?"
"Because of my future."
"Go on."
"I don't know. It's just coming to me in bits and pieces."
"What is?"
"What I want out of life." Chandler sat closer to the edge of the sofa. He felt he was thisclose to finally sorting some things out. "Janice, when you and I were together, could you really see us together forever? Could you picture me as your husband and as a father to our kids? Honestly?"
"I don't know," she admitted. "At one point, I thought maybe we would get married, have kids, and be happy, but you kept saying you weren't ready for anything that serious, so what was I supposed to do?"
"Because you wanted the marriage and the kids?"
"Of course, Chandler Bing. Most women do, you know."
"I know," he said, more to himself than to Janice. "Especially Monica."
"Monica? Monica Geller? What's she got to do with whatever's going on inside that head of yours?"
"She has everything to do with it. I've been such an idiot."
"Are you and Monica...together?"
"Not in the way you mean, but you know we're good friends."
"Yeah, I definitely know that. You guys give friendship a whole new name."
"That's it!" Chandler said, jumping off the couch. "What you just said, Janice. That's it. I could kiss you, except, well, I won't because...well, you know."
"Chandler, are you all right? You are not making any sense."
"Yes, I am. For the first time, I finally understand."
"Understand what?"
"What I need to do. I've been going about this all wrong. I've been acting like Joey's the one who should leave when, actually, just the opposite is true."
"Joey? Who's Joey? Chandler, you're scaring me. Honey, what are you babbling about?"
"Don't you see, Janice? Monica is looking for someone to spend the rest of her life with."
"Yeah, so?"
"I'm not that guy, and I'll never be that guy. The one who couldn't see himself making a life with you is still right here. I haven't changed. So, what right do I have to try to control Monica's life? She's ready to settle down. If it's meant to be with Joey, who am I to stand in the way?"
"But if you don't want to be with Monica, why do you care so much who she's with?"
"You're right. That's the problem. I shouldn't care so much. It's not my right. But I love her. I can't help it; I just do."
"You need to tell her that, Chandler. If you love her, you can make a life with her."
"No, I can't. I loved you, and yet, in your heart, you knew we wouldn't end up together. Monica knows that, too, and I'm just starting to realize it. It's finally making sense. Joey absolutely needs to stay. I'm the one who needs to leave. I need to get out of Monica's life. We need to go our own separate ways. It's the only way we're both going to find happiness."
Chandler, fully awake and dressed in faded blue jeans and a gray t-shirt, took notice that he was the only one in the apartment. He could tell, just from the neatness and the quiet, that Joey had not been there since yesterday. The fact that his bedroom door was open at 7:00 a.m. further proved his point. He peeked inside and then grinned when he saw Joey's bed hadn't been slept in.
"Way to go, Pheebs."
His thoughts turned to Monica as he put two slices of bread into the toaster and then poured himself a tall glass of orange juice.
She is not going to feel well this morning, he thought with a sympathetic chuckle. Oh yeah. Been there. Done that. Not fun.
As he chewed on his second piece of toast, he decided he would quietly enter her apartment, just to make sure she was all right. If she was still asleep, he would slip out unnoticed after leaving a note for her to call him if she needed anything.
The phone rang; Chandler greeted the caller with a cheery "hello".
"You sound happy," Phoebe said. "What a nice change."
"Well, you sound pretty perky yourself." As if he didn't know why. "What's up?"
"I'm calling to talk to Joey," she said coyly.
"Really? I thought maybe, you know, since it's the weekend, you guys would spend all day together."
"That's why I'm calling. To see if he wants to get together. Why did you make it sound like you thought he was already with me?"
"No," Chandler said quickly, "I-I didn't think that. That's not what I meant."
Okay, so exactly where did Joey spend last night?
"It sounded like it to me. What's going on, Chandler?"
"Nothing. Not a thing. Nothing. Joey...well, he's not here at the moment, but I'll have him call you as soon as he gets back."
"Okay. Hey! Maybe he's on his way over here to surprise me!"
"Maybe."
But I highly doubt it.
"I'll give him your message, Pheebs. I gotta go check on Monica to make sure she's okay."
A confused Chandler hung up the phone. He refused to speculate where his roommate might have spent the night. He'd find out soon enough anyway. He just hoped Phoebe wouldn't end up getting hurt.
*~*
I gotta get out of here was Joey's only thought. He managed, with some difficulty, to remove himself from a still sleeping Monica. Finally able to stand, his body rebelled at the awkward position he had slept in. He moved around and tried to loosen up a bit. He desperately needed to go to the bathroom.
In and out of the bathroom and then I'm outta here.
But he wasn't quick enough.
The door to Apartment 20 opened just as Joey walked out of the bathroom. In a flash, he jumped back into the bathroom, but not before Chandler had seen him.
"What the..."
Joey heard his roommate's angry tone and knew he had to show himself. But when he reappeared, the door to the apartment was wide open and Chandler was gone.
"Oh, man," Joey griped. "Chandler, wait!"
He ran across the hall to their apartment. He looked everywhere, shouting out Chandler's name, but he was nowhere to be found. He figured Chandler, in his rage, had fled the building. He wanted to chase after him, but he knew by the time he put his shoes on, Chandler would be long gone.
"I don't believe this!"
Dejected, Joey returned to Monica's apartment. He was going to leave her a note, explaining what had happened and telling her he'd gone to look for Chandler, but she was awake and trying to sit up on the sofa.
"My head," she complained. "Why did I have to drink so much?"
"Mon, I know you don't feel well, but we've got trouble. Big trouble."
"What? What's wrong? Did something happen to Ross or Rachel?"
"No, it's Chandler."
She tried her hardest to focus on Joey, but he was nothing but a blur to her.
"Ch-Chandler? What happened to Chandler?"
"He just saw me here. I guess he was coming over to check on you. I tried to get out of here without being seen, but I wasn't quick enough."
"We'll tell him the truth. Nothing happened between us. Right?" she asked, hating that she couldn't fully recall the details of the previous night and, therefore, couldn't be certain that nothing had happened.
"Yes, nothing happened between us," Joey said, frustrated that Monica was so out of it when he really needed her to help him, "but me coming out of your bathroom in the morning looks a bit suspicious to someone who already thinks there's something going on between us, wouldn't you say?"
Monica held her head in her hands and emitted a low groan. That had to be the longest sentence she'd ever heard Joey speak. Why had he chosen this particular time to start making so much sense? She couldn't keep up with him. "I suppose. I don't know. I'm too sick to care. Let Chandler believe whatever he wants."
"Noooo!" Joey said, needing Monica to understand. "We just worked everything out, and now it's all messed up again. I gotta find him."
"Maybe he went to his office."
"Good idea. I'll check there first. I may be gone for a while, Mon. Will you be okay by yourself?"
"Yeah," she said, falling back down on the sofa. "Unfortunately, I think I'm going to live."
*~*
Chandler wandered aimlessly as the morning sun beat down on him. He walked with no destination in mind. He just knew he couldn't be anywhere near Monica and Joey. He reached a corner store and stepped in to buy a pack of cigarettes and a lighter.
Why not, he thought bitterly. Smoking had been associated with every bad thing that had ever happened to him. He just added another one to the list.
He lit up a cigarette, enjoyed the first hit more than he knew he should have, and continued walking the streets. He thought about going to Phoebe's, but what would that accomplish? Nothing. So what would be the point? She'd find out the whole sordid truth soon enough.
When he finally stopped moving, he found himself ringing the doorbell of the one person he thought was out of his life for good.
*~*
"Happy?"
"Very."
"Good."
Lounging comfortably in bed in their suite, Rachel sighed contentedly. Every few minutes, her eyes, of their own will, traveled to the exquisite diamond ring on her left hand. She still couldn't quite believe it had happened.
"We're getting married," she said, laying the back of her head against Ross' bare shoulder.
He wrapped his arms around her and held her close.
"I know."
"There's so much to do, but I am going to enjoy every moment of it. You won't hear a complaint out of me, I promise."
Ross chuckled and then kissed the top of her head.
"It's okay if you fret every once in a while. Don't all brides do that? I remember when Carol and I were getting..."
He stopped. Rachel looked up at him.
"What, honey? You can tell me what happened."
"Thanks, but I'd rather not talk about it. I'm too happy. But you know, we do have to tell her and Susan. I definitely want us to spend more time with Ben. You are going to be his step-mom, and he is going to know how very important you are, not only to me but also to him. That's okay with you, right?"
"Of course," Rachel said, turning so she was lying on her stomach, looking up at her intended. "You know I love Ben. I want us to be as close as we can be."
"I love you."
"I love you, too."
"I know we have more to talk about," Ross said, "but let's just forget the world for a little while longer. What do you say?"
"I say I am marrying a very smart man."
*~*
"Oh. My. God. Chandler Bing, what are you doing here?"
He grimaced inwardly at the all too familiar voice, but something inside had propelled him to seek her out.
"Hello, Janice. I'm sorry to show up so unexpectedly, but could I, well, may I come in?"
"Of course."
Janice opened the door wider, allowing Chandler to enter her small but very neat apartment.
"Sit down," she said, after walking with him to the living room. "Can I get you anything?"
"No, thanks. I'm not even sure why I'm here, and I promise I won't stay long. I just...well, actually, I don't know."
Janice laughed; Chandler cringed. Why had he trusted his instincts? When had they ever led him in the right direction?
"I know, my Bingaling. You missed me. You always do. You always come back. Somehow, we always end up in each other's orbits. It's simple, really."
"No-no, it's not. You're a married woman with a child. I respect that. I'm not here because of our past. I'm here because...because..."
"Because of what?"
"Because of my future."
"Go on."
"I don't know. It's just coming to me in bits and pieces."
"What is?"
"What I want out of life." Chandler sat closer to the edge of the sofa. He felt he was thisclose to finally sorting some things out. "Janice, when you and I were together, could you really see us together forever? Could you picture me as your husband and as a father to our kids? Honestly?"
"I don't know," she admitted. "At one point, I thought maybe we would get married, have kids, and be happy, but you kept saying you weren't ready for anything that serious, so what was I supposed to do?"
"Because you wanted the marriage and the kids?"
"Of course, Chandler Bing. Most women do, you know."
"I know," he said, more to himself than to Janice. "Especially Monica."
"Monica? Monica Geller? What's she got to do with whatever's going on inside that head of yours?"
"She has everything to do with it. I've been such an idiot."
"Are you and Monica...together?"
"Not in the way you mean, but you know we're good friends."
"Yeah, I definitely know that. You guys give friendship a whole new name."
"That's it!" Chandler said, jumping off the couch. "What you just said, Janice. That's it. I could kiss you, except, well, I won't because...well, you know."
"Chandler, are you all right? You are not making any sense."
"Yes, I am. For the first time, I finally understand."
"Understand what?"
"What I need to do. I've been going about this all wrong. I've been acting like Joey's the one who should leave when, actually, just the opposite is true."
"Joey? Who's Joey? Chandler, you're scaring me. Honey, what are you babbling about?"
"Don't you see, Janice? Monica is looking for someone to spend the rest of her life with."
"Yeah, so?"
"I'm not that guy, and I'll never be that guy. The one who couldn't see himself making a life with you is still right here. I haven't changed. So, what right do I have to try to control Monica's life? She's ready to settle down. If it's meant to be with Joey, who am I to stand in the way?"
"But if you don't want to be with Monica, why do you care so much who she's with?"
"You're right. That's the problem. I shouldn't care so much. It's not my right. But I love her. I can't help it; I just do."
"You need to tell her that, Chandler. If you love her, you can make a life with her."
"No, I can't. I loved you, and yet, in your heart, you knew we wouldn't end up together. Monica knows that, too, and I'm just starting to realize it. It's finally making sense. Joey absolutely needs to stay. I'm the one who needs to leave. I need to get out of Monica's life. We need to go our own separate ways. It's the only way we're both going to find happiness."