THE FRESHNESS OF BEING
By Oregano
+ I'm sorry for doing this, but I shoved Rory and Jess in it, too. Then I ended up getting the whole gang into it. I couldn't help myself. (Little giggle.)
+ To:
katem-23: I AM spreading, huh. Like butter. Like a virus. Good God, I'm the E. Bola.
BTS: (bows) Thank you, thank you. (sniff) Oh, I feel so loved!
Jess aimlessly browsed the shelf of nuts and bolts. He had his screwdriver in his hand. He carefully studied each nail, tapping the tool on his chin. He didn't see Rory come up behind him.
"Excuse me," she said hotly. She shoved past him, making the top of the screwdriver jab his jaw.
Turning his head, he glared at Rory, "Just watch it next time."
"I'll try."
She gave him a dirty look and went about her business. Jess huffed and continued browsing around. Rory was such a… bitch now. He hated to call her that, but she was mean, she was cross and she was starting to get on his nerves. It wasn't his fault that things were stupid between them. If anybody was to blame, it was her.
He furrowed his eyebrows.
And Dean.
He growled.
And Lorelai.
Damn the whole town for being annoying. Jess snatched the right size of nails and headed towards the cashier.
Great. Dean was on duty. Damn Dean for being on duty.
Something hit him in the back. He whipped around and saw Rory glaring at him. Her weapon of choice was the basket.
This had to be a joke.
"Are you going to take long? I still want to be able to walk by the time I get out of here."
Jess closed his eyes and counted to ten.
"What? Are you meditating or something? Move it!"
He ignored Rory and dropped his purchases in front of Dean. At least Dean was the silent type. He just glared at Jess and rang up his stuff. Rory, on the other hand, just kept on going.
"Quickly, please, I'm starting to droop. I mean, come on—"
"Rory, will you shut the hell up?"
Jess saw her face. She looked like she wanted to punch him.
Well, it was her fault for yapping so much.
She reached out and slammed her index finger at his chest.
Ooooh. That was it.
Luke pounded on the door. At first, the knocking was insistent, but it slowly deteriorated to weak patting.
"Just give it up, Luke. Besides, your fist at the door is giving me a migraine."
Luke glared at Taylor and grabbed a small box of Aspirin. Aiming it carefully, he threw it straight at Taylor. It smacked him on the side of the head.
"Ow!"
Lorelai entered Doose's Market in search for the perfect bag of chips. She glanced around, walking towards the chips aisle. Her eyes widened as she saw the most unbelievable thing. Rory was in a poking fight with Jess.
They were seriously standing at the cash register, ramming their fingers at each other.
Poor Dean was standing behind it, trying to stop the two. HE looked like one of those swooning ladies from 1920.
"Oh, stawp it, Rhett! I seahd stawp the MAD-ness!" Gasp! Swoon.
He went around it and stood in between the fighters. With him serving as the huge barrier, it got harder to poke each other. It quickly turned into a slap fight.
"Stop hitting me!"
"You started it!"
"Yeah, real mature, Jess-ica!"
Jess' eyes bugged out and he charged at her. Dean held him back as he tried to strangle Rory with his outstretched arms.
"What did you call me?!"
"You heard me."
"Dean, let me go!"
"I won't do that, Jess. Not until you two calm down. What the heck is wrong with you two, anyway?"
Oh, Dean. Always the peace maker of the bunch.
Jess nodded at Rory and pointed to her using the screwdriver.
"Ask Hokey-Pokey over here."
Lorelai rolled her eyes and was about to walk towards them when she head something. Nobody heard it as they were all riveted by Rory's stammering, Jess' smirking, and Dean's questioning.
It sounded like clanging. Or some people in a fist fight. Or someone strangling a dog.
Forgetting the Rory and Jess scene, she went to the back and heard the sounds become louder. The storage room?
She slowly opened the door.
Inside the storage room were Luke and Taylor, actually throttling each other.
"Let… go…" Taylor wheezed as he yanked on Luke's hair.
"I will crush your neck until all the veins turn purple…" Luke said menacingly. His face was full of concentration.
Lorelai entered the room and said loudly, "What's going on here?"
They both stopped and looked at Lorelai, standing at the doorway with light streaming in around her figure. She was like an angel.
Luke got up quickly, excited to have the chance to escape. He accidentally knocked over Lorelai, who, in turn, knocked the door closed.
Well, maybe not an angel. More like Larry from the Three Stooges.
There was a pause as the three looked at each other.
"NOOO!"